Barkhaven

“D’ya like dags?”
“Dags?!?”
“Yeah, dags.”
“Dags!”
“Ohhhh, dogs.  Yeah, I like dags.”
(Name that movie!)

Barkhaven (https://barkhaven.com/) is a combination dog park, dog grooming facility, restaurant, and bar in Orlando’s Ivanhoe Village area at 724 Brookhaven Drive, Orlando, FL 32803.  To put everyone’s minds at ease, don’t worry — there are no dogs in the dining room shedding, drooling, making noise, or trying to steal people’s food.  There is a separate entrance for people to bring their dogs outside to the fenced-in dog park, but there are windows to watch dogs romp and frolic while you eat inside the restaurant, or there are outside tables separated from the dog park with a fence.

Full disclosure: we don’t have a dog.  I am super-allergic to them, and I am much more of a cat person (more like I’m totally obsessed with cats and want to be best friends with every cat ever).  But my wife grew up with Yorkies and one wonderful Yorkie/schnauzer mix and misses them terribly.  When I recently found out Barkhaven existed, I thought she would appreciate a chance to watch some dogs make with the romping and the frolicking while enjoying lunch out after a nearby hair appointment.

The restaurant and bar area is a large, wide-open space with tables and a few half-booths up against one wall.  All the food is served in disposable paper bowls and plates, with plastic utensils, which is fine with me.  It’s a very casual place.  The menu says they don’t use any seed oils, and they do all their frying in beef tallow, so look out, vegetarians.  I don’t know when seed oils became public enemy #1 or beef tallow started being considered a healthier option, but I remain skeptical.  I’m seeing this sentiment so often, I expect it’s some political agenda.  Unlike the wonderful smokiness that comes from frying in reserved bacon grease, I don’t think beef tallow adds any particular flavor to foods, just kind of an oppressive heaviness.  Would I end up changing my mind after this lunch at Barkhaven?  Read on, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos.

My wife is obsessed with hummus, especially since our recent discovery of The Hummus Guy food truck.  Aside from the dogs and the proximity to her stylist, the other reason I suggested Barkhaven was because I saw they serve hummus, and I knew she would want to try it.  It’s a very nontraditional hummus, though — mixed with balsamic red peppers (I loved ’em, she didn’t), topped with crushed crispy chickpeas (not sure if they were dehydrated or fried in beef tallow?) and paprika, and served with thick-sliced cucumbers and pita chips (definitely fried in beef tallow, maybe a moment too long).

She usually likes wings, and I’ve been thinking a lot about delicious Korean-style crispy chicken wings recently.  As a result, we were both intrigued by the honey mustard crunch wings, glazed with fermented honey mustard,  sprinkled with green onions, and drizzled with scratch-made ranch dressing.  These were meaty wings, not those tiny, sad sports bar wings I hate, but they were a little dry.  The wings were suitably crispy without being breaded (there’s that beef tallow again), and as a mustard aficionado, I liked the honey mustard flavor that wasn’t too sweet like so many honey mustards that I call “dessert mustards.”  My wife doesn’t like ranch and didn’t care for the ranch being drizzled on, so I ended up eating most of the wings in three separate servings, mostly back at home. 

This was definitely the best thing I tried at Barkhaven, the arayas, also known as a Lebanese burger.  Rather than a traditional burger patty that might just be sprinkled with salt and possibly pepper, this beef was heavily seasoned with delicious spices, and it actually had some heat, which I enjoyed.  It was stuffed into a pita and grilled to get a crispy exterior, then drizzled with garlic tahini and rosemary pineapple hot honey.  It was terrific — savory, spicy, and so messy and greasy.  It reminded me of a spicier, greasier, messier version of the hawawshi I enjoyed so much last summer at The Cairo Express, although that was crispier because it didn’t have any condiments or sauces on the exterior surface. 
The crunchy red cabbage slaw on the side was pleasant, even though I usually prefer the creaminess of conventional cole slaw.   And I didn’t realize this arayas was going to come with fries, but I’m trying to be good and avoid fries.  These were pretty conventional crinkle-cut fries, despite the beef tallow, so I wasn’t terribly tempted.  I dipped a few in the ranch that came with the wings and dragged a couple through whatever tahini, honey, and meat juice dripped out of the arayas, but I left most of the fries behind and only felt a little guilty about the unexpected food waste.

Even though I’ve been eating less and eating healthier (this meal being an exception), and even though I didn’t devour all the fries, I saw Barkhaven offered onion rings, so I had to try them.  I try onion rings anywhere and everywhere, since I have a recurring feature on this food blog called Ring the Alarm!  These were described as “Thick-cut onions dipped in a crisp, golden beer batter and fried to perfection,” but they were not the kind that I am always delighted to find in the wild, at restaurants like The Whiskey, Christo’s, Build My Burgers, bb.q Chicken, and even Culver’s.  The batter on these was dry, kind of tasteless, and had several burnt, scorched spots.  Maybe it was the beef tallow.  

Barkhaven also serves wood oven pizzas, fish and chips, salads, a hot dog (natch), desserts that include deep-fried pound cake (I guess they have to put that beef tallow to use!), and a whole menu for dogs.  When I saw the combination of “beef, pumpkin, and broccoli” on the menu, along with “frozen carrots,” I thought “those are certainly some choices,” until my wife pointed out that those are options for dogs.  But again, the dogs would eat outside.  They also have a large selection of beers, wines, cocktails, coffee, tea, and other non-alcoholic beverages, all for humans.

Once we boxed up our ample leftovers, we adjourned outside to watch the aforementioned romping and frolicking for a little while.  Those good boys and girls were having a grand time, and we saw some beautiful huskies and even a rascally shiba inu.  It was a nice way to decompress mentally and physically after what turned out to be a heavy meal.  So that was Barkhaven.  If you like dogs, drinking, and beef tallow, you’ll be in absolute heaven!