Milk District – The Saboscrivner

Smoke & Donuts BBQ

Not to be confused with the similarly named Smoke & Dough in Miami, Orlando’s Smoke & Donuts (https://www.smokeanddonuts.com/) is a relatively new restaurant that started serving excellent barbecue and beautiful, festive cake doughnuts just over a year ago, right in one of the best foodie neighborhoods in the city, the Milk District.

My wife and I recently had our first meal at Smoke & Donuts, and me being me, I made sure we could sample as many things from their eclectic menu as possible. The restaurant is open from 11 AM to 9 PM on weekdays, but on weekends, it opens at 9 AM for a brunch menu in addition to the full regular menu. We figured that would give us even more options to choose from, especially with my weird work hours that prevent us from going out to eat during the week. Luckily, there was plenty of parking and no wait shortly after 11 AM on a Saturday.

Once you arrive, you take a paper menu to study as you walk down a line where you can see those dazzling, decadent doughnuts on display, then the stations where the staff assembles barbecue bowls, sandwiches, and “boards” (really metal trays). My wife sat down at an open table while I took the walk toward an extremely patient woman who took our large order at the end of the line. It’s a familiar setup — you pay at the register, take a number, and then someone delivers your food to your table.

Before I reveal everything we ordered, here are the sauces diners will be able to choose from, since sauces are such an important part of the barbecue experience. They are all in squeeze bottles over by the self-serve soda fountain, and there are plenty of tiny plastic cups with lids to fill with the six sumptuous sauces. Over here you have toasted guajillo pepper, KC (Kansas City) sweet, spicy vinegar (it’s a North Carolina thing), and a marvelously thick hot sauce with visible spicy pepper seeds and a touch of sweetness.

Next to them, kept on ice, are Lowcountry SC (South Carolina) mustard sauce (kind of a creamy, herby, tangy mustard, not like bright yellow mustard or overly sweet honey mustard at all) and AL (Alabama) white barbecue sauce, which is creamy, tangy, and sweet. You KNOW I tried them all!

Here’s my sauce lineup. Before our food even arrived, as I was assembling our sauces, they brought us each a sample of a perfect, delicately seasoned, crunchy pork rind, which we both liked. Pork rinds can be heavenly or a pointless waste of calories, and the seasoning usually makes all the difference. But this one was very light, which was also nice.

My wife ordered a blueberry “MOCK-jito,” a delightful mocktail with fresh mint, lime, and fresh muddled blueberries. She said it was so refreshing, and it was one of the highlights of this epic brunch. I am so glad to see more restaurants offering interesting mocktails made with the same love and care as their alcoholic cocktails. Thank you, Smoke & Donuts!

It wasn’t long before our meals were walked out to the table. My wife and I each chose a Pit Sampler board, which comes with a choice of three meats and either one side and a piece of cornbread or a glazed doughnut (one of the more basic doughnuts, not the fancier ones). She chose pork belly (on the left; smoked and prepared in a sous vide water bath), pulled smoked chicken slathered in the Alabama white barbecue sauce, and sliced brisket for her meats. When I was given a choice of ordering her brisket lean or marbled, I chose marbled, which we both prefer. With steak, brisket, or pastrami, when in doubt, go for the marbling!

Instead of a side, she opted for a cinnamon sugar cake doughnut. Those pink strips are pickled red onions, something I love a lot (and make myself at home), but she has no interest in onions at all, or anything pickled. Needless to say, I got them for myself, along with the rest of the house-made pickles and pickled onions in the top right corner of her tray.

For my Pit Sampler board, I purposely chose three different things, knowing we would offer each other samples of ours anyway. I got chopped brisket (doused in TG sauce, the toasted guajillo pepper sauce), chorizo sausage, and St. Louis ribs (rubbed in “red chile and brown sugar slather”).
I chose baked beans for my side (see above), which included Kansas City sweet barbecue sauce, caramelized onions, sorghum, and stout. And you can see my cornbread up there too. But wanting us both to have a chance to try more sides, I also ordered a side sampler with three additional sides:

French fries, a necessity for dipping in the six different sauces:

Crunchy cucumber and cabbage slaw, shredded and tossed in a sherry and rice wine vinaigrette. I didn’t even try this until later, when we got home with multiple boxes of leftovers, but I liked it a lot. What a gourmet, nontraditional take on cole slaw. It was a bit dry, even with the vinaigrette, but a little Alabama white sauce perked it up.

Rich macaroni and cheese, featuring cheddar, Swiss, Chihuahua, and cotija cheeses and a little lager. This is definitely one of the best versions of mac and cheese in Orlando, and my far-and-away favorite of all the sides we sampled.

Here’s a close-up of my chopped brisket, which was good, although I think I would definitely opt for the sliced, marbled brisket in the future:

I had no idea how many ribs came in the sampler, but I have to be honest, I only expected one rib (making me think of Chris Rock in I’m Gonna Git You, Sucka, a movie I made my wife watch for the first time recently, still as funny as it was when it came out in 1988). Imagine my surprise when the guy delivered the trays to our table, and there were three ribs, although he told me he accidentally gave me an extra one. So normally you would get two in the Pit Sampler, and even that would have been great. The ribs were my favorite of the three meats I ordered, by far. They were so tender and smoky and sweet and spicy, easy to pull off the bone, but not exactly “falling off the bone” (barbecue mavens try to avoid that texture).

And from the brunch menu, my wife really wanted to try the biscuits that came with a trio of different flavors of soft, spreadable butter. It looks like they change these flavors all the time, but today we got mango, cilantro-jalapeño, and strawberry-basil butters. My wife really loved the two fruity ones, and I liked all three. The biscuits weren’t huge, but we also shared my cornbread and still had plenty of these rich, creamy, velvety butters left to bring home in the tiny plastic sauce cups. Thank goodness for the lids!

We were as interested in those stunning doughnuts as we were in the barbecue, so we ordered more to take home and parcel out over the next few days. On the left is a blonde blueberry doughnut we intended to share, with vanilla glaze, oat streusel, blueberry compote, and a chewy, buttery blueberry swirl blondie (the triangle “hat” on top, definitely a fascinator). In the middle is a red velvet doughnut my wife chose, with chocolate glaze, red velvet fudge, and a lightly crispy meringue on top, like a little beret sitting at a jaunty angle. On the right is a passion petal dancer, the most butch-sounding dessert name ever. I chose that one as soon as I saw it includes passion fruit cremeaux (I don’t even know how to pronounce that), lemon pavlova, and a dehydrated strawberry.

And this was one last doughnut for me, back at home: the key lime doughnut, with candied lemonade glaze, ginger snap streusel, key lime pavlova, and meringue. Good grief, this was so good. All the doughnuts from Smoke & Donuts BBQ are cake doughnuts, so they are really dense, heavy, and on the drier side, but not crumbly. If you’re craving the light airiness of yeasty Krispy Kreme doughnuts, then go to Krispy Kreme. But you’ll miss out on these lovely, luxurious, cakey creations.

We were lucky enough to meet Smoke & Donuts’ chef-owner Ian Russell, a graduate of the only CIA that makes the world a better place, the Culinary Institute of America. He worked as an actor (appearing in at least one local production with my wife when they were both a lot younger!) and some other interesting careers before founding Smoke & Donuts as a food truck. After building a reputation there, he then moved into the current space, directly next door to one of Orlando’s most famous and beloved restaurants, Se7en Bites. I was impressed that Chef Russell went around from table to table, introducing himself and asking his guests how everything was, and that’s when my wife recognized him from when they were in Cyrano together. Then the lady who had so patiently taken my large order introduced herself as his mother, and she stopped by to check up on us and kvell about her successful son.

I would be proud too. Chef Russell and his entire staff (including his mom) were wonderful. We felt very welcome and had a terrific brunch/early lunch that ended up being the only meal we needed for the rest of the day, with plenty of leftovers for the next couple of days. The ribs and mac and cheese were definitely my favorites of everything we tried, but I would return just for a big ol’ order of fries so I could use them as sauce delivery devices, the sauces were that good. People are intense (and intensely loyal) when it comes to barbecue. Orlando is lucky to have some good options (along with Briskets in Oviedo and Smokemade opening a permanent location soon), and Smoke & Donuts is definitely among the best. The Milk District has another winner, and since they have lasted over a year in this location, I’m sure they aren’t going anywhere. Come try them when you’re craving meat and sauce, and they even offer smoky jackfruit for vegetarians!

Primrose Lanes

This may be the most predictable review I have written for The Saboscrivner food blog in a long time, probably because this particular restaurant is the talk of the town right now. Orlando-based foodie social media has gone gaga (or gone to the dogs, if you will) discussing, debating, and deconstructing the $15 hot dog from Primrose Lanes (https://www.primroselanes.com/), the new restaurant and bar from former Luke’s Kitchen and Bar Executive Chef Jason Campbell. I will say that if you haven’t heard about this hot dog, then congratulations — you haven’t been spending much time online, and that is laudable. But if you are familiar with Orlando’s latest obsession, sometimes things that get a lot of hype have earned it and deserve it, and this fabulous, fantastic, first-class, fine freakin’ frankfurter definitely lives up to the hype, hoopla, hubbub, and hysteria.

But Primrose Lanes is not just some hot dog hut. It used to be the bowling alley Colonial Lanes, founded in 1959. It was sold and set to become yet another self-storage facility, and the owners even started ripping apart the bowling lanes. Then the Team Market Group bought the building, refurbished the eight remaining lanes, and worked with Chef Campbell to create a dining and drinking destination far beyond what you would expect from “bowling alley food.” Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the pastrami sandwich and house-made potato chips at Brooklyn South Bar at Aloma Bowl, but this is a legit gastropub — a true culinary experience that is far better than anything you’re envisioning. It may not be the cheapest meal in Orlando (although plenty are way more expensive), but as someone who seeks out bargains and hates feeling ripped off, you will definitely get what you pay for at Primrose Lanes, and you’ll leave the restaurant feeling like you just bowled a perfect game.

On my first visit to Primrose Lanes, I went alone and sat on a high-top stool along a beautiful polished wood countertop. I believe a lot of the wood in the restaurant was salvaged from the 24 original bowling lanes that had been destroyed. The restaurant and bar area is a beautiful space, both modern and retro at the same time, with a big glass window overlooking the eight bowling lanes.

I started out with the “Funyun” fried onions, because I review onion rings wherever I find them on menus with a special notice longtime readers know as “RING THE ALARM!” Of course I’m more about the concept of fried onions than the classic ring shape, so I am not a stickler for literal onion rings every time. These fried onions were unlike any other fried onions I’ve ever had, with thin stems serving as handles to hoist the thick, rounded bulbs and dip them into creamy comeback sauce. For a guy who eats a lot of chips and other salty snacks (and reviews them in my recurring Tight Chips features right here on this blog), I almost never eat Funyuns, those vaguely onion-flavored corn snacks, but they made a very interesting coating for these very real onions.

The O.K.C. smashburger was a magnificent double-decker monster, extremely juicy despite the two patties being smashed flat on the flattop grill (hence the name). I always liked thicc burgers (R.I.P. Fuddruckers) and bemoaned the smashburger trend, worried that everyone would be serving dried-out, overpriced hockey pucks. But smashburgers like this one have won me over and give me hope for the future.

This O.K.C. smashburger was dressed with American cheese (still the best burger cheese), mayo, thin slices of delicious house-made pickles, and lots and lots of thin strands of fried onions, which really make a burger for me. Dating back to the Great Depression, Oklahoma-style burger patties are pressed into super-thin strips or slices of onion, which then cook in the heat and the meat juices. It was served on a brioche kaiser roll baked by the Olde Hearth Bread Company, which provides baked goods (no baked bads, ever) to many of the best restaurants in the Orlando area. Even without ketchup, it was a winning burger through and through.

And what about this bougie $15 hot dog? Well, like I said, it surpasses the hype, and anyone who has tried it will probably agree. I rarely order hot dogs when I’m out on the town, because you can pay $7 or $8 for a pack of good-quality Sabretts or all-beef Boar’s Head dogs in the natural casing, so why would you pay that for a single hot dog? But I’m glad I recently treated myself to the brilliant Detroit coney dog at SoDough Square, and I thought I had discovered the best hot dog in Orlando then. It is great, no doubt about it, but Chef Campbell’s hot dog is a triumphant treasure in every possible way.

It is house-made, and I don’t know who else around here goes to the significant effort of making their own hot dogs. It has such a fantastic snap, the way the best hot dogs and sausages do, and I had to close my eyes to savor every bite. In a recent article by Orlando Sentinel food writer (and mah friend) Amy Drew Thompson, Chef Campbell said the hot dogs are made with “Certified Angus. Ribeye, short rib, brisket and chuck in a lamb casing,” and then smoked. That lamb casing is what gives it the satisfying snap, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you need to treat yourself to a higher standard of hot dogs, my dudes. The tangy, zingy relish is house-made too, but I don’t know if the buttery grilled bun is from Olde Hearth Bread Company or baked in-house. The pickle spear next to the burger and the hot dog were delicious too, much to nobody’s surprise. I have no doubt they were also made in-house by Chef Campbell and his team.

Oh yeah, I had heard you could get it topped with smoked trout caviar for an extra $5, and I said “Yes, let’s do that thing.” It added an extra level of decadence to the best hot dog ever (to say nothing of additional salt and smokiness), and I have no regrets. Hey, I’m eating at home more than ever now that I have a remote job, and this was my first trip out of the house in several days, so I felt like living large! WHAT?

Anyway, when I picked up my wife a little later after enjoying that epic meal, she was really hungry and wanted to go to one of her favorite spots for chicken tenders. I was raving about the meal I had enjoyed earlier, and I told her Primrose Lanes had chicken tenders too, as well as a Shirley Temple made with house-made grenadine syrup. I thought for sure she would say “Let’s try it some other time,” but instead she said “That sounds really great, and we’re close, and I’m hungry. Would you mind going back the same day?” And I said “Hell yeah, girl,” and back I went, fewer than two hours later!

She loves Shirley Temples, so she ordered that, and I ordered a lemonade that was nice and cold and tart and refreshing, and not too sweet. She said her Shirley wasn’t as sweet as most, which probably use all kinds of artificially flavored grenadine syrups, possibly bolstered with high fructose corn syrup. She said it was almost “savory,” but I tried a sip and can tell you it wasn’t necessarily savory, but definitely not cloyingly candy-sweet like most. It was also garnished with a dark cherry that definitely wasn’t a bright red maraschino, but maybe an amarena or Luxardo cherry.

She ordered the chicken tendies [sp], which came out darker than either of us expected. I asked if they were burned, and our lovely, patient server Claire, who took care of me on both back to back visits, said they all look like that. The tendies (I still can’t get used to that) came with a ranch dip seasoned with dill and “sha’bang sauce” that was thick and spicy — not exactly buffalo or sriracha, but they could have been involved — with tiny bits of sliced orange in it.

We also shared hash brown bites, perfect potato cubes that were crispy on the outside and soft and yielding inside, dressed with garlic crema and topped with more of that smoked trout caviar. These would be a terrific appetizer to order with any meal, unless you are a vegetarian, and then they could easily hold the trout roe for you. They reminded me of LEGO blocks, the way they were stacked so nicely.

One of the biggest hits of my wife’s first visit to Primrose Lanes and my second was the tuna tartare (her choice), a refreshing portion of diced raw tuna with avocado, spicy mayo, lightly pickled cucumber slices (so good!), sprinkled with regular and black sesame seeds and accompanied by what had to be fried Saltine crackers.

This dish knocked my wife’s socks off. Every ingredient, every taste, every texture worked in perfect harmony. It was my favorite part of my second visit, after all the heavy stuff I ate not that much earlier in the day. It was so cool and creamy and crispy and piquant, especially since I love spicy tuna rolls and poke bowls so much. She was in love with the fried Saltines, which had some kind of mysterious seasoning on them too, and I couldn’t believe nobody else had ever done that before.

And because my wife loves soft serve ice cream, she ordered vanilla soft serve for dessert (because they were out of chocolate) and got it topped with fudge sauce. While I thought the smashburger, the hot dog, and the tuna tartare could not be beat, this was her overall favorite. She looked pensive after the first bite, engrossed in thought, consumed as she consumed it. Her eyes rolled back in her head. She said she had never had soft serve ice cream this good; nothing else had ever come close. She used the word “orgasmic.” Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first.

I could usually do without soft serve ice cream — it tends to be kind of bland and tasteless for me, and rarely tastes like vanilla so much as some kind of plain whiteness. But upon her urging, I tried it, and it was as inspired as the rest of the food on this menu, so far above and beyond what most people might expect, so much better than it even needed to be.

This is the exact kind of restaurant I love to review on my blog. There are countless restaurants where you can get a decent-to-good meal, and if you pay enough money, you’re bound to get something above-average. But I especially love finding good or great food where you don’t expect it, whether it’s a nondescript food truck or trailer or a restaurant inside a place where you wouldn’t go looking for one, and especially wouldn’t dream of finding a good one. I’d say an excellent restaurant in a bowling alley counts for that, even though Primrose Lanes is more of a restaurant and bar with eight really cool bowling lanes than a bowling alley with that serves food.

I don’t mind admitting that I’m a pretty rotten bowler. Because I suck so much, I don’t particularly enjoy bowling, so I don’t do it, and that means I never improve. But if you ever go out for a trivia night with me, you will see me kick all kinds of ass and be impressed, then maybe a little scared, then annoyed, then bored, and then probably round the corner to impressed all over again. And if you ever join me for karaoke, you will find that I am not a particularly good singer, but I will do my damn best and cheer like crazy for my friends who are doing their damn best along with me. Unfortunately, I have yet to find ridiculously elevated food like this at any local trivia or karaoke spots, nor do I have many friends who are ever up for that kind of thing.

The good news about Primrose Lanes is that you don’t have to bowl at all. Plenty of people go just for the food, and you can too. But if you like to eat and bowl, then my stalwart Saboscrivnerinos, this needs to be your next night out with the ladies or the fellas, or your next hot date. Everyone will love it. But if you’re trying to corral 15 or 20 small kids for a bowling birthday party, I would advise against schlepping the little dudes to Primrose Lanes. Children are certainly welcome, but I’d say it is more of a place for adults to have fun. And as a non-kid-haver who ate there twice in one day, adults will likely have more fun there without kids… unless your kids are really cool.

Crocante Restaurant

I’ve been to Crocante Restaurant (https://crocantekitchen.com/) three times now — twice dining in and most recently for takeout — since it opened in late 2022 in the old Fuddruckers location on East Colonial Drive. I have been a Fuddruckers fanboy ever since I was about twelve years old, and I was overjoyed when that franchised location opened near my work back in 2017. Then I was crushed when it closed in 2022, but I hoped whatever opened in its place would be halfway decent.

Well, I am extremely pleased to report that chef/owner Yamuel Bigio’s second Crocante location is far beyond “halfway decent.” It is the best Puerto Rican cuisine I’ve ever had, and it will enrich the neighborhood and the city of Orlando. Since I started composing this review, the original Crocante location in Kissimmee, which was apparently much smaller and more casual, has closed. I get that Chef Bigio might want to focus on this newer, larger space, and anyone who tries it will be able to see the plan paid off.

I went with a friend and co-worker on my first visit, back in December. This friend appreciates good food on the level I do, and I knew we would make wise choices. He ordered carne frita encebollada ($17), fried pork chunks covered with sautéed onions. At the time, it came with two “house sides,” so he chose boiled yuca in mojo sauce and a “specialty side” for a $2.50 upcharge, arroz con gandules, or rice with pigeon peas.

I’ve never seen a restaurant plate its rice so nicely! This deserved another photo from a different angle, along with a special shout-out.

I ordered what I had heard was the best thing on the menu, the porchetta de pernil ($18), also known as pork leg porchetta, slow-roasted with garlic and herbs and served with crispy, crackly skin. I had already seen some diners’ photos of a big, beautiful, thick, round slice of porchetta, but mine came chopped into chunks. I thought nothing of it, because it was one of the best things I had eaten in a long time. In fact, it made my list of Top Ten Tastes of 2022 in Orlando Weekly.For one of my sides, I chose the arroz blanco con habichuelas rosadas, white rice and pink beans, which were awesome. Again, the rice was plated beautifully, and the stewed beans were rich and meaty. I could have made a filling and satisfying meal of just those. They seemed to use short grain rice, which I associate more with sushi than Latin food, and it was so buttery. Latin restaurants always make better rice than whatever I make in my Aroma rice cooker at home. Could butter be the actual secret ingredient? It does make everything better!

For my other side, I chose a “specialty side” for a $2.50 upcharge: ensalada de coditos, or pasta salad. I’m on a kick of trying pasta salad or macaroni salad whenever I find them on menus, and this one did not disappoint. It was a mayonnaise-based macaroni salad with chunks of cheese and ham, a very pleasant surprise. I could have also made a meal of this!

About a month later, I returned to Crocante with another friend, an intrepid diner who is usually the first person I know to try any new restaurant, but this was his first visit. We started out sharing empandillas de bistec encebollado ($9), an order of two steak and onion turnovers. Of course we each ate one, and they were wonderful. Comedian Jim Gaffigan once said there is no such thing as a bad empanada, and I tend to agree, even if this particular menu calls them “empanadillas.” (If that translates to “little empanadas,” they were still a very good size, and delicious.)
I love the attention to detail at Crocante. The creamy, herby dipping sauce was excellent, and even the garnish of arugula was dressed with a tangy vinaigrette, making it a legit side salad.

For this lunch, my friend and I had both figured out that to get the big, beautiful slice of porchetta — tender pork loin and unctuous, melty pork belly with crispy skin — we had to order the somewhat misleadingly named la kan kan rotisserie, also known as the boneless rotisserie pork chop ($34). What I got last time was the chopped porchetta de pernil, but this here, at twice the price, is the real house specialty.
Like most entrees at Crocante at that time, it came with two “house sides,” and my friend chose the same white rice and pink beans I enjoyed so much last time, plus boiled yuca with mojo sauce (and peppers).

I opted for different sides with my la kan kan rotisserie/porchetta, as much as I loved the sides from my first visit. This time I got maduros (sweet fried plantains; one of my favorite foods of all time), and the “specialty side” of arroz con gandules (rice with pigeon peas) that my co-worker raved about last time, for a $2.50 upcharge.

Here are two sauces that our server brought us. The one on the left was a slightly spicy, tangy vinaigrette with chili peppers floating in it, and the one on the right was creamy, a little spicy, and extremely garlicky.

I want to show you these huge rolled porchettas on display in their raw state, before being roasted to tender, juicy perfection:

And here is one with that crispy, crackly skin, just waiting to be sliced and served.

Most recently, I finally ordered morcilla when bringing home a takeout order on St. Patrick’s Day, because I had been wanting to try Crocante’s version of blood sausage. It sounds gross, but I always love sausages and organ meats. It might be offal, but it was far from awful! In fact, it was delicious, with a crispy casing and soft, savory, yielding interior. It was a lot less crumbly and sticky than other versions of morcilla I’ve had before. This was a half-pound portion that didn’t come with any sides, but you can also order it by the pound.

I also brought la kan kan rotisserie home for my wife to finally try, after I’ve spent the last two months raving about it being one of the finest pieces of meat you can eat in Orlando. She loved it, which did not surprise me at all. We have both eaten plenty of dry roast pork from all kinds of restaurants, including other Puerto Rican restaurants’ versions of the “chuleta kan kan” that were fried until they were dried out. We’ve also ordered too many chicharrones that were too crunchy and hard to chew, that made us feel like our teeth were in danger. But this was a masterpiece, even finer than the ones my buddy and I enjoyed dining at Crocante not that long ago. It was still warm and perfect, even after driving it home to Casselberry. And the two of us barely made a dent, so it was just as good the next day. This time, it came with a small corn muffin, that was moist and sweet and delicious — one more pleasant surprise and great little detail from Crocante. I like sweet cornbread, but it is dry and crumbly at a lot of places, including some Southern restaurants and barbecue joints that should know better.

I ordered the arroz con gandules again for my wife to try, since she always likes rice and pigeon peas. We both marveled at how much meat was in it, so vegetarians beware. (Unfortunately, Crocante would not be a fantastic restaurant for vegetarians in general, with how meat-centric it is.)

I also ordered maduros, but when I arrived and saw the printed receipt, I noticed I had been charged $4.50 for them. When they brought me my takeout order, I pointed out that the menu online said that the la kan kan rotisserie came with two sides, not just one. Furthermore, the person I spoke to on the phone didn’t tell me there would be a charge for the second side. They argued and said the new policy is entrees come with one side plus the little corn muffin. Very politely, I said that I looked at the menu on their website when I called it in, and it was the same as it ever was, showing entrees came with two sides. They said they would let the owner know to change the menu on the website, but they did not offer to refund me the $4.50. Dear readers, as much as I love this restaurant and still recommend it, that pissed me off. Not cool, Crocante. $4.50 isn’t a huge amount of money, but it would have been such an easy thing for them to make right. It’s the principle of the thing, and it left a bad taste in my mouth, after all my previous praise. They did not handle that well.

Crocante is five minutes from my work, and the food has been terrific every time. Despite that one annoying lapse, I would still go back because it is the best Puerto Rican restaurant I’ve ever been to. Please check it out for yourself, especially if you like pork and want to try what might be the best pork dish ever. Just remember to order only one side, despite what the menu on the website still says, a whole month after that interaction.

Lam’s Garden

Lam’s Garden (https://www.lams-garden.com/) is a respected and venerated Chinese restaurant in Orlando, on the border of two of the city’s best foodie neighborhoods, Mills 50 and the Milk District. It is in the shopping plaza with iFresh Market (a really good Asian grocery store, not to be confused with Fresh Market) and my beloved Chicken Fire, on the northeast corner of East Colonial Drive and Bumby Avenue.

But me being a lifelong late bloomer, I only recently visited Lam’s Garden for the first time. (I told an older man that after my meal, and he said “How? We’ve been here since 1975!”) Well, better late than never, because it was really good.

I thought it was very old-school to get a bowl of crunchy fried noodles to snack on while we waited for our orders to come out. This took me right back to all the Chinese restaurants my dad took me to in Miami, growing up in the ’80s, where he knew all the owners and they all knew him because he taught their children and grandchildren.

At first, they just presented us with a laminated menu of lunch specials, but I asked for a longer menu if they had one. They brought us two additional menus, with standard Americanized Chinese food favorites and another with Chinese “home cooking,” as the server described it. Whenever you go, make sure they give you all the different menus to maximize your choices!

My vegetarian colleague ordered Buddha’s delight off the lunch specials menu ($9.95), and got a huge plate of broccoli, crisp snow peas, bok choy, baby corn, onions, mushrooms, water chestnuts, and bamboo shoots, in a brown sauce. Her white rice was served on the side.

The lunch specials came with plenty of other stuff she couldn’t eat, so like a good friend, I volunteered to eat everything, like this small bowl of wonton soup:

A crispy eggroll:

And a little dish of fried rice:

I had a really hard time making a decision, since this was our first time here, so I went with a dish that never disappoints, and definitely didn’t disappoint at Lam’s Garden: Singapore curry rice noodles ($15.95), served with chicken, pork, and shrimp. It was kind of medium-spicy and so flavorful, with the thin, tender noodles.

I would be tempted to order this again and again, but after finally visiting Lam’s Garden, I definitely want to start working my way through the large menu on future trips. Lam’s might very well be the oldest Chinese restaurant in Orlando, and since it has been proven to have staying power, I look forward to trying other dishes, making up for lost time.

Chain Reactions: Krispy Krunchy Chicken

Krispy Krunchy Chicken (https://krispykrunchy.com/) is a unique fried chicken chain with a distinct Cajun accent, founded in Lafayette, Louisiana, in 1989. It is a unique chain because most of the locations are inside gas station convenience stores, but anyone who reads my blog knows you can often find great food in the most humble-looking and unlikely of places.

Take, for example, the Citgo station at 3025 East Colonial Drive, 32803, in Orlando, on the corner of East Colonial Drive and Maguire Road. This is on the edge of a couple of the best foodie neighborhoods in the city: the Milk District and Mills 50. I’ve been driving past this gas station for years, and only recently noticed a sign that it offered Krispy Krunchy Chicken inside. I had to try it, for the sake of journalism and a librarian’s desire to share information. I’m not sorry I did.

When you place your order, you ask for the chicken you want from under the heat lamps, and a nice lady will bag it up for you. It was all very fresh.

The sides are self-serve (you just grab them yourself). This sign lists prices for single pieces of chicken:
Breast: $3.19
Wing: $1.89
Thigh: $2.09
Leg: $2.09
Tender: $1.89

Here’s a close-up of that bottom shelf, which includes honey butter biscuits, boneless chicken tenders, corn dogs, and egg rolls. Sauces are 50 cents each (original, buffalo, honey mustard, ranch, tartar, sweet and sour, and barbecue), but as much as I love sauces and condiments, I was trying this chicken for the first time, so I didn’t want to overwhelm my palate or distract from the main mission with too many variables.

I ordered a two-piece meal ($7.99) with a leg, a thigh, a side (see below), and a honey butter biscuit, and had a little picnic in my car. Totally worth it. The chicken was juicy and the breading was thick and crunchy, but not as Cajun-spicy as I was hoping. Still, you can’t ask for much more than that, especially from a gas station convenience store setup! The biscuit was a real standout. Not in the same league as Se7en Bites, Orlando’s beloved Southern bakery and restaurant moments away, which is home of the best biscuits ever, but perfectly fine to accompany this chicken.

I couldn’t resist getting an order of fried chicken gizzards too. (I don’t remember how much this was.) Now I LOVE chicken livers (chopped liver is one of the foods of my people!) and hearts, but I didn’t remember ever trying gizzards before. They were REALLY chewy. That’s the most I can say about them.

The macaroni and cheese tasted a lot better than it looks here, flattened down by the lid on this styrofoam cup. But I don’t even think it looks bad. It looks and tastes like typical macaroni and cheese you would get as a side at any number of barbecue joints or Southern restaurants. So maybe not Orlando’s best (for that, check out Pom Pom’s Teahouse and Sandwicheria, nearby in the Milk District, and also Se7en Bites again!), but very pleasing nonetheless.

Since this was my first visit to a Krispy Krunchy Chicken location, I got two additional sides while I was there. These red beans and rice were suitably smoky, salty, and creamy, but you just can’t beat Popeyes red beans and rice. That’s the quintessential version right there, the one that even chefs (like David Chang) cite as the best.

But my favorite side was the jambalaya, saucy rice with chunks of (andouille?) sausage and ham. I always like jambalaya, whether it’s from an old restaurant in the French Quarter or a box from Zatarain’s. This was somewhere in between, quality-wise, but closer to the French Quarter than the box. I didn’t expect it to be as good as it was.

Would I go back? Absolutely I would. As much as I generally like Popeyes for bone-in fried chicken, they can be hit-or-miss with both food quality and service. And this particular Krispy Krunchy Chicken gas station location is a lot more convenient for me than the always-excellent Theo’s Kitchen. This was solid fried chicken, but I think the thing I liked the most was the jambalaya. It was so tasty and hearty and full of meat, I could happily make it the centerpiece of a meal some other day, when I’m in the mood for such a thing again.

Ceylon Roti Hut

Ceylon Roti Hut (https://www.facebook.com/ceylonrotihut t/) is one of Orlando’s newest food trailers, located at A La Cart, a food truck gathering place that’s ten minutes from my job, but somehow I had never been there before. I had never even turned down the street it’s on, but I sought it out just to try Sri Lankan food for my first time. Sri Lanka is a diverse and multicultural island country in the Indian Ocean, southeast of the southern tip of the Indian subcontinent. Due to geography and demographics, I expected the food might be similar to Indian food I’ve had before. It shared some surface-level similarities that would certainly appeal to fans of Indian cuisine, but was still very much its own thing.

This is the lovely Ceylon Roti Hut food trailer, owned by husband and wife team Gavin and Shehara Parys. They own another food truck, Ceylon Hut, which I’ve never had the pleasure of finding, so this is actually their second mobile kitchen. Chef Gavin was on duty when I went there, and he was very friendly and welcoming, quick to answer my questions and make recommendations, and he had fresh, flavorful food in front of me in about five minutes.

Here is the menu. There are only five dishes, all featuring chicken or pork, and all priced very reasonably, between $12 and $14.

I ordered chicken kottu ($13) to eat there, inside the covered portion of A La Cart. I sat on a stool at a long, otherwise-empty table, cooled by fans on a hot Friday afternoon in July, and enjoyed this delicious, spicy dish of stir-fried chicken curry, eggs, vegetables, and shredded parata roti, a tortilla-like flatbread that would be familiar to anyone who has tried Indian, Trinidadian, or Guyanese food. Chef Gavin made it seem like he could easily adjust the spice level for anyone who prefers turning down the heat to mild levels.

It was so good, I had to try something else, so I asked for the roti with pork stir-fry ($12), packed up to go. It was still hot by the time I got home, so even though I intended to save it for dinner, I ate it almost immediately. As great as the chicken kottu was, I think this was even better. The pork was spicy, but so flavorful, and the roti was a perfect neutral flavor to scoop it up and contrast against it. It was soft and flaky and very lightly crispy from being fried.

I’m sure most of my regular Orlando readers are already familiar with A La Cart, but if you haven’t been in a while, get there ASAP to enjoy spicy Sri Lankan street food, courtesy of Gavin and Shehara Parys and their newest business venture, Ceylon Roti Hut.

Pom Pom’s Teahouse and Sandwicheria

Way back in December 2005, chef-owner Pom Moongauklang founded Pom Pom’s Teahouse and Sandwicheria (http://pompomsteahouse.com/), located in Orlando’s Milk District neighborhood, not too far from downtown Orlando. Pom studied as a pastry chef, and she cooked in several trendy and high-end New York City restaurants (including the famous Nobu and also an infamous BDSM-themed French restaurant that no longer exists, but sounds fascinating) before striking out on her own here in Orlando, serving up some of the city’s most creative sandwiches and eclectic tea drinks for over 15 years. That was about a year after I first moved to Orlando, and right when I was changing careers and going back to school. Things seemed really hopeful at the time, and all food tasted better to me. I remember Pom Pom’s being one of our first really hip and cool locally owned restaurants. For me, it was love at first sight… and first bite.

The restaurant is a hip, funky space, full of artwork by local artists that is rotated regularly. All the art is displayed on consignment, so if you fall in love with a piece of artwork, you can buy it. Pom Pom’s is open until 4 AM on Fridays and Saturdays, making it an oasis for hungry and restless partiers, back when it was safe to be out partying. In addition to the sandwiches, salads, and tea drinks, there is also a breakfast menu, only available Friday night through noon on Saturday, and then Saturday night through 4 PM on Sunday.

On a visit a while back, the special tea (heh, “specialty”) of the day was strawberry-kiwi, so I impulsively ordered an iced version for $3. I’m not a big tea drinker, although I sometimes appreciate a good, strong, sweet Southern-style iced tea. I am not into hot beverages at all, but you can order any of Pom Pom’s teas hot or iced. The strawberry-kiwi was sweet, but not overly sweet, and very refreshing. I was glad that it tasted like real fruit juice, not artificial or chemically. I’m not a big tea drinker in general, but I’ve had the chocolate cream tea there before, and that’s always really good.

One one particular visit, I ordered two sandwiches, just so I could write a more comprehensive review here. I’ve been going to Pom Pom’s since shortly after Pom opened the place, and I have my favorites, so I decided to choose an old favorite and try something new too. This was my old favorite, the Woody ($9.95), with hot pastrami, Swiss cheese, honey mustard, Thousand Island dressing, Southern slaw, and red onion on pressed pumpernickel bread. I always love pastrami, and the pumpernickel goes so well with it. (You can choose sourdough, whole wheat, or rye with caraway seeds as the other bread options.) All the sandwiches at Pom Pom’s are pressed, so they’re served hot. Especially with the Woody, you get the crispiness of the pressed bread and the melty, crunchy, meaty, creaminess of all the other ingredients, warm and sliding around.

This was the new sandwich I hadn’t tried before, the Billy Chang (also $9.95). It sounded a little weird, but just weird enough to work: sliced smoked beef brisket, blue cheese, red onion, and strawberry jelly, and I got it on pressed sourdough bread. This sandwich had everything: salty, smoky, pungent, sweet, funky, crispy.
I love savory and sweet flavors together, but I think the smoky brisket and sweet jelly would have worked together with something spicy uniting them, like a pepper jelly instead. I would have also preferred goat cheese or cream cheese to the crumbly and funky blue cheese, and it also would have made for a more cohesive sandwich that held together better. But those are my own personal hang-ups, not meant to take away from the sandwich at all. There was a lot going on, flavor-wise, and it was also the messiest sandwich I’ve ever eaten, on one of the very rare days I ate lunch in my office at work. It had already soaked through the paper wrapping by the time I got it back to my desk, and eating the half I tackled at work was a multiple-paper towel job. Would I get it again? I don’t think so, not that it was bad! There are just so many other sandwiches at Pom Pom’s I either like more, or that I still have yet to try.

On a more recent visit, I got my old favorite sandwich, the smoked salmon ($11.25), with thin-sliced nova salmon, bacon, cream cheese, cheddar cheese, arugula, tomato, and and lemon caper aioli. This is an intense rush of strong, smoky flavors, and I just love it. I ordered it on pumpernickel and it came on sourdough, but I couldn’t complain because it was still awesome.

On my previous visit, I tried the daily special sandwich, a spicy mac tuna melt. I grew up eating tuna salad sandwiches, but never buy canned tuna anymore, and rarely order it out anywhere. Pom’s regular melt includes capers, celery, red onions, lemon zest, and your choice of a domestic cheese, which sounds good on its own. But I loooooove the macaroni and cheese here (more on that shortly), and I figured adding it to any sandwich would take it to another level — like hipster tuna noodle casserole, only a thousand times better. I didn’t think the combination would disappoint, and it definitely did not.

Putting their delicious macaroni and cheese in a sandwich is a recurring theme at Pom Pom’s, because here is a special from this very weekend, the Chez G, with spicy crumbled chorizo sausage and mac and cheese on sourdough. I took this one home, so the bread wasn’t crispy anymore, but it was still really good.

Pom Pom’s offers a few sides, including my absolute #1 favorite macaroni and cheese in Orlando, the spicy turkey mac and cheese (on the right; $2.25), with cheddar cheese, diced tomatoes, scallions, and that most overrated of hot sauces that nevertheless works so perfectly here, sriracha. There are always nice cubes of tender turkey in it too. When I make mac and cheese at home, this is the consistency I aim for — not a liquidy, cheesy soup, and not barely-melted cheese shreds that look like they came straight out of a bag. It’s the ideal “middle way.” Melty, not soupy, not greasy, not dry. I love it, and I would happily eat a much larger portion of it. On the left, you can see Pom Pom’s German potato salad ($2.25), which is different from most American-style potato salads, which are usually mixed up with mayo and served cold. This potato salad is served warm with crumbled bacon, scallions, and vinegar, and it’s so, so good if you’ve never had it before. I love potato salad. In fact, it’s probably my second-favorite thing to do with potatoes, after chips, and just edging out fries. That’s my spicy hot take on potato salad, that underrated side order. And as much as I love the mayo-based varieties (especially Southern-style potato salad with chopped hard-boiled eggs, pickles, and yellow mustard added), German potato salad is a nice change of pace, especially as a rich side dish in the fall and winter.

Pom Pom’s also has soups of the day that I rarely order, but I’m usually happy with the ones I try. Waaaaay back in December 2020, Pom had cooked up a pot of dark chocolate duck chili, and there was no way I was going to miss that. They were selling it by the cup for $5 or by the bowl for $7. I ordered a bowl for myself and a cup to bring home to my wife, who doesn’t like my chili at all, but sometimes surprises me by liking professional chefs’ better versions of chili. Both were served in coffee cups as part of my takeout order, and mine was topped with scallions and smoked gouda cheese. It was a rich, hearty chili with at least two different kinds of beans and plenty of shredded, stewed duck.

You can get a better view of everything here, after I caused a stir. It was quacktacular!

When I returned today, I tried Pom’s beef lasagna soup, which sounded perfect on a cooler day leading into a very cold night. It was a savory tomato broth with crumbled, seasoned ground beef, lasagna noodle sheets cut into squares, floating pools of melted mozzarella cheese, lots of garlic, and a surprising amount of chunks of zucchini and yellow squash.

So this is a review after at least three separate visits to Pom Pom’s Teahouse and Sandwicheria, even though I’ve lost count of the many times I’ve been here over the past 16 years. Follow Pom Pom’s Instagram page for daily specials, and time your visit so you can try something new that may never be seen again. But the old classics stick around for a reason — because they are loved and treasured throughout Orlando.

Phở Vinh

Phở Vinh (http://www.phovinhorlando.com/) is one of the many Vietnamese restaurants east of downtown Orlando, but it is slightly east of the main Vietnamese neighborhood, Mills 50, in an adjoining neighborhood known as the Milk District, due to the presence of the T.G. Lee Dairy headquarters. Some of my favorite restaurants in Orlando are in the Milk District, and I’m happy to add another one to that number.

Our wonderful next-door neighbors took us to dinner at Pho Vinh several years ago, and we all liked it, but my wife and I kept returning to our usual Vietnamese restaurants, Phở 88 and Little Saigon, in the subsequent years. Both are very good, but I recently felt like a change, so I recently called in a takeout order with Phở Vinh, brought it home, and unpacked deliciousness that even exceeded that dinner way back when.

Since the name of the place is Phở Vinh, we both decided to order phở, the classic Vietnamese beef noodle soup that we love so much. Even though “beef noodle soup” sounds heavy, it is surprisingly light and refreshing, despite still being hearty and filling.

When we go to our usual Vietnamese restaurants, my wife always orders phở tai ($9.95), with thin slices of rare beef that cook in the hot, fragrant, clear broth. Phở Vinh does what most Vietnamese restaurants do, packing the meat, noodles, and aromatics in one container, and the broth in a separate container, so the meat doesn’t get fully cooked and the noodles don’t turn to mush on the drive home. We order takeout a lot more often than we dine out, especially these days, so we appreciate this very much.

I got what I normally order at other Vietnamese restaurants, the phở xe lưa ($13.95), with thin slices of rare beef, brisket, flank steak, tendon (rich, unctious, and chewy — I love it), and tripe (not my favorite, but it’s always included with the other meats in the combination phở).

Here is the phở broth. We both got identical containers, which are pretty generous.

And here is a shot of my steaming soup, all the meats and noodles simmering with torn basil leaves, paper-thin sliced onions, scallions, and fresh jalapeño peppers with all the fiery seeds and ribs intact. I squirted in a bit of lime juice from lime wedges (also included), but I rarely alter my phở beyond that, despite the addition of sauces like hoisin and sriracha. It is better to taste it as intended, especially when visiting a new restaurant for the first time, or in our case, the first time in a long time. It was wonderful. So fresh and fragrant, and like I said, never a heavy meal.

I also got an order of cơm chiên dương châu ($11.95), fried rice with shrimp, roast pork, ham, and sweet, chewy Chinese sausage called lap cheong or lap xeong, which I love. They should call this dish the “kosher special”! I was hoping to share it with my wife, but figured she might not like it, so I’d have more for myself to pack for lunch the next day. But she thrilled me by loving the fried rice, even the Chinese sausage, which I definitely wasn’t expecting.

Guessing wrongly that she wouldn’t be into the fried rice, I ordered my wife a second whole meal for the next day, since I was going to be at work, and she doesn’t cook. After phở tai, this is her favorite Vietnamese dish to order: bún bò nướng, or charbroiled beef with rice vermicelli (the bún). At Phở Vinh, this also came with a crispy fried spring roll, so the dish was called bún bò nướng chả giò ($12.95). I thought she might like to try the spring roll (the chả giò), but she wasn’t interested in it, so I ate it while it was hot and fresh. We almost never get spring rolls, and I was reminded how much I like them. I didn’t try any of the rest, but she ate it all, which means she liked it. (If she didn’t, she wouldn’t!)

My next visit to Phở Vinh to bring home more takeout was two weeks later, on a recent drizzly, dreary Friday evening. I got my wife the summer rolls she greatly prefers (an order or two for $3.95). Unlike the crispy fried spring rolls, summer rolls are wrapped in a thin, chewy, sticky rice crepe, stuffed with pork, shrimp, rice vermicelli, and vegetables, and served chilled. I’m never into these, but she loves ’em, especially the sweet, sticky peanut sauce they are always served with.

She got her usual phở tai again, but I switched it up and got a different kind of noodle soup, the very spicy bún bò huế ($11.95), with slices of beef and pork in an intensely hot broth. As usual, the meats, noodles, and vegetables were packaged separately from the orangey-red broth.

And here’s the gleaming, glistening soup, perfect for warming me up (and making my eyes water and nose run) on a surprisingly chilly, rainy evening.

Finally, I got bánh mì bò kho ($11.95), a rich Vietnamese take on classic beef stew, served with half a loaf of crusty French bread. I didn’t eat this until the following Sunday, two days later, when it was even chillier, but it heated up great and tasted delicious. It was thicker than the phở and bún bò huế, but not nearly as thick as some beef stew I’ve had. There were plenty of big chunks of soft carrot, thin slices of onion, and huge pieces of tender beef that were a perfect, soft consistency — not that different from oxtails, which are one of my favorite foods. That got me thinking about how awesome a Vietnamese oxtail soup or stew would be.
Unfortunately, the French bread was burnt, as you can see. I still ate it, don’t get me wrong! I heated it up in the toaster oven, but had I been at the restaurant, I would probably have asked for another piece.

So as you can see, Phở Vinh won us over. With this stupid weather we’ve been having, alternating between days in the 80s and nights in the 50s, you can imagine how good nice, hot soups and stews would be. If you’ve lived in Orlando for a while, you probably have a favorite Vietnamese restaurant. We sure did, but I’m glad we branched out and tried Phở Vinh. It is definitely a regular in our rotation now, and we will definitely return.

Smokemade Meats + Eats

Sometimes my parents joke that they have no idea why I like so many different kinds of food that my family never ate when I was growing up. I got curious and wanted to try new things once I was on my own, out of their house, taking the advice of cultured, worldly friends or the Internet hive-mind. Not my dad, though! He likes what he likes, he’s set in his ways, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t on a constant quest for the best too! Just today I reassured my dad that he is a big reason I appreciate food as much as I do. He used to drive all over Miami to find the best Chinese buffets, hot dog carts, New York pizza (by the slice!), bagels, Cuban bistec milanesa, and pastrami sandwiches. He’d schlep up to an hour for a good meal, so that’s where I get it from. We had a heartfelt conversation where I told him that I love all the same foods he loves, but along the way, I just figured out I like to eat other things too. We had one of those “We’re not so different, you and I” moments over the phone.

Well, another kind of food my dad actually likes is barbecue… as long as it is not too saucy or spicy, that is! He got me into barbecue at the legendary Shorty’s in Miami, and we ate there together countless times. Barbecue is a reliable crowd-pleaser and a timeless and true American art form, like jazz, blues, and comic books. Most people have strong opinions and great loyalty to barbecue, but even when we find a ‘cue joint we like, we’re always scanning the sky for scintillating smoke signals, seeking something equally good or even better. And today I think I found that place.

Smokemade Meats + Eats (https://www.smokemade.com/) is a pop-up restaurant that started pitching a tent and serving up Texas-style barbecue at local breweries around Orlando earlier this year. I’m back at work with a heavy teaching load, so between that and the pandemic worsening in Florida, I’ve been laying low, avoiding crowds, and not exploring as much as I would like. But after several months of frustration, I finally made to a Smokemade pop-up at Whippoorwill Beer House & Package Store in Orlando’s Milk District and met Tyler Brunache, the sorcerer supreme of smoke and mystical maven of meat. Tyler, an FSU graduate (which I’ll forgive) started barbecuing in Washington D.C. before returning home to Orlando, and we should all be glad he made that decision. You have to follow Smokemade on Facebook or Instagram and find out where he’ll next appear, so you can try this delicious food for yourselves.

I hated crowds and long lines before social distancing was cool, so I was smart and made it to Whippoorwill Beer House on the early side, before it got overrun with Milk District hipsters. I parked right in front of the establishment (a very pleasant surprise), and Smokemade was already set up in a tent in the parking lot with Tyler, three associates, and a very tenacious bee flying around inside the tent, occasionally landing on them but going unnoticed. Everyone was friendly as they were taking and assembling orders, and nobody seemed perturbed about the bee, even though I warned two of the guys to watch out for it. Those guys are nonchalant AF. I would have gotten the hell out of that tent until the bee got bored and took off. He must have been there because of all the positive buzz online.

Anyway, even with the curious bee, I was one of the first in line, so I was able to order and get my food packed up within ten minutes. Keep in mind that proper barbecue is smoked low and slow — low temperatures for hours at a time. Tyler’s beef brisket is smoked for 16 hours, his pulled pork is smoked for ten hours, his pork spare ribs are smoked for six hours, and his scratch-made sausages are cold-smoked for four hours. Then all the meats have to rest for hours before serving to be at their best, kind of like me. So even though I got my order quickly, it took over 24 hours to get ready behind the scenes. What looks like a pop-up to us takes days of planning, prepping, and perfecting. And looking at drool-worthy photos of Smokemade’s food online over the past few months, it sure looks like Tyler Brunache has perfected his process.

So what did I get?

Well, whenever I try any new restaurant, I always like to order something where I can sample as many different flavors as I can. Here, that was the Texas Trinity Platter ($29), featuring a half-pound of beef brisket, a half-pound of pork spare ribs, and two sausages. Keep in mind, I was bringing all of this home to share with my wife!

When I got home with this massive takeout order, I opened the heaviest box first to reveal the Texas Trinity Platter, and this is what we saw. WOW. But you’re not even seeing all of it here!

The first thing I did was remove that half-pound slice of brisket to portion it out. Look at that gorgeous color, that bark, that marbling! My photo fails to describe just how thick and substantial it is. But it’s magnificent, masterful meat. I asked for our brisket to be a little more moist and fatty, rather than lean. Trust me, it’s better. Texas-style barbecue is never served drenched in sauce, but even though we got several small cups of barbecue sauce, none of the meats really needed it. This brisket stands on its own just fine.

By the way, you can also order a brisket sandwich on a roll for $15, and they look huge.

Underneath, you can see what is essentially a double-order of spare ribs, since I added on an extra half-pound ($9). Hey, my wife and I both love ribs, and I knew she wouldn’t want any of the sausages. The ribs are magnificent. The sweet, sticky, peppery glaze adds tremendous texture and fabulous flavor. These ribs are so tender, not only do they fall off the bone, but I swear I chewed up part of one of the bones, since it was as tender as the meat surrounding it! Today, Tyler offered two different kinds of sausages, his popular cheddar jalapeño sausage, and a hot gut sausage. I requested one of each in the Texas Trinity Platter, and they are both coarsely ground in natural casings (hence the “hot gut” moniker) that give you a satisfying crispy crunch sensation when you bite into them. They were both heavy and dense sausages, and with everything else we tried, I could only eat a small segment of each. The cheddar jalapeño was my favorite of the two, with pockets of oozing orange cheddar and a pleasant heat throughout.

Since I can’t always make it to these ephemeral pop-ups around town, I ordered what I could, while I could. This here is a half-pound portion of pulled pork ($10), not included in the Texas Trinity Platter, but well worth trying. It is much more understated than the brisket, ribs, and sausages, but I’d still totally recommend it. You can also order a pulled pork sandwich on a roll for $11. They were generous with the scratch-made barbecue sauce, which is thin and vinegary, not the usual thick slurry of ketchup, high fructose corn syrup, and artificial smoke flavor like too many sauces.

Barbecue focuses on the meats, but sides are part of the experience. I couldn’t leave without trying three of Smokemade’s sides: coleslaw made with red cabbage and apples, jalapeño dill potato salad, and pinto beans that are spicier and more savory than the typical sweet “barbecue” baked beans served with Southern BBQ. Each of these sides cost $3.50. I liked the beans the most, but the meats are the real reason to chase down Smokemade.
Honestly, my favorite among all these pictured sides were the pickle slices and pink pickled onions in the top left corner of the box, and those actually came with the Texas Trinity Platter! I already love pickled onions (I make my own), and I am starting to consider myself more of a pickle aficionado, but I really liked these. Their puckery, pungent punches complemented the salty, smoky meats very well — even better than the actual separate side items, in my opinion. I asked Tyler, and he said they make everything from scratch except for the slices of white bread that came with the platter. I don’t know if he would consider selling his pickles and pickled onions in larger portions in the future, but if he offers them, run, don’t walk.

Finally, I couldn’t come home to face my wife without a dessert, so I chose bread pudding over key lime pie (I love it but she doesn’t) and banana pudding. Each of the three desserts costs $4. This was a nice-sized chunk of sugary-sweet, soft, moist bread pudding, featuring cinnamon and caramel flavors. We thought it might have been made with challah bread, as it did taste somewhat eggy. We each had a nice-sized portion earlier tonight, and there is still some bread pudding left for tomorrow (with my wife’s name on it). I’d love to try the banana pudding and key lime pie on a future visit.

You might have noticed this was a lot of food for two people, but I fully expected we would get multiple meals out of it, especially with me packing lunches for work to wolf down between classes and reference interviews, and her being home for the time being. And it was all so good, neither of us will mind eating amazing Texas-style barbecue for another couple of days.

Five years ago, I was lucky enough to attend an annual conference for my professional organization in Dallas, Texas. Of course I had to try the local barbecue, so I sought out the famous and highly recommended Pecan Lodge. It was amazing — easily some of the best barbecue I’ve ever eaten. Maybe the best. I’ve never had anything quite like it in Florida, until now. I never forgot that meal, but I can tell you that Tyler Brunache’s food from Smokemade Meats + Eats looks, smells, and tastes just like that real-deal Texas ‘cue I enjoyed so much in Dallas and dreamed about ever since.

Seriously, don’t sleep on Smokemade, and don’t write it off as a logistical nightmare just because there isn’t a permanent, brick-and-mortar location. Follow the social media, figure out where Smokemade Meats+ Eats will pop up next, get there early so they don’t sell out of what you want, and go with friends so you can sample a little bit of everything on the menu. But be careful out there, and drink responsibly at all these breweries!

Back in 1996, the great singer/songwriter/actor/Texan Lyle Lovett sang “That’s right, you’re not from Texas, but Texas wants you anyway.” Well, I’m not from Texas, and neither is Tyler, and statistically, most of you stalwart Saboscrivnerinos probably aren’t either. But take it from The Saboscrivner: you want this Texas barbecue anyway! Heck, even my dad would.

Tomasino’s New York Pizzeria

Sometimes you never know the wonders in your own neighborhood, and you can live in a place for years before you discover them. My wife and I were neighbors for two years — me living with one of my good friends and her living with her parents, five minutes away — before we met on OKCupid. And in our very neighborhood was a pizzeria I’ve been driving past for over 15 years, that we finally took a chance on trying in recent weeks. It turned out to be another pleasant surprise moments from our driveway. This is Tomasino’s New York Pizzeria (http://www.tomasinospizza.com/), with three locations in Orlando (along East Colonial between Primrose and Bumby, in the “Milk District”), Winter Springs (near us), and Lake Mary (I never go up there, so I have no idea what it’s near).

For our first visit, we decided to dine in, because pizza is always better hot and fresh out of the oven. The Winter Springs Tomasino’s is a very small space, but we are early birds whenever possible and got seated immediately. Later on, as you will find out, they get slammed. We started out with an order of fresh-baked garlicky cheese knots ($3.99), drenched in thick, melty garlic butter, dusted with Romano cheese, and served with the most delicious marinara sauce for dipping. Deez knots were very soft and fluffy, which we always like. Sometimes garlic knots can be too dense and chewy, like little softballs, but not these!

This was the 14″ Arthur Avenue-style pizza ($18.99), named after the famous old street of Italian restaurants, delis, and grocery stores in the Bronx. This pizza sounded perfect for me, topped with spicy soppressata salami, caramelized onions, and goat cheese — these are a few of my favorite things! They finish it off with a drizzle of their “spicy marinade” that definitely contains crushed red pepper, that pizzeria tabletop standard. However, I couldn’t shake the fact (no pun intended) that it tasted like the Frank’s Red Hot sauce you put on Buffalo-style hot wings.

Here’s a slice of the Arthur Avenue pie. I love vinegar and spice, but I’m not the biggest fan of hot Buffalo wings, and that was the overwhelming flavor on this particular pizza, due to that “spicy marinade.” I would have tried it no matter what, but next time I’ll just stick to plain cheese or splurge on meatballs, onions, and peppers as toppings.

My wife opted for two slices: a Don Tomasino slice ($4) and a regular cheese slice ($2.50), both cut from larger 18″ pizzas. The Don Tomasino is their regular bianca pizza (mozzarella, ricotta, parmigiana and fresh garlic, with no red sauce), topped with thin-sliced breaded eggplant, spinach, fresh tomatoes, and drizzled with their “special pink sauce” (like a vodka sauce).
She didn’t even come close to finishing these, but as usual, I greatly preferred the crispy texture of these large slices to my 14″ pie. When I return (AND I DID), I’m going to stick to slices, like I usually do at my other local favorite pizzerias Del Dio and Paradiso.

We shared a slice of strawberry cheesecake for dessert, since Tomasino’s gets cheesecake from the legendary Junior’s restaurant in Brooklyn. This past summer, my wife and I went to New York and ate at two different Junior’s locations in the theater district. I argue Junior’s bakes the best cheesecake anywhere — far better than your jiggly Japanese cheesecakes, the Publix bakery, and especially the Cheesecake Factory. It’s nice to know we can get Junior’s slices at Pickles Deli in Longwood as well.

More recently, I brought home takeout from Tomasino’s, so we had a second round of trying stuff.

We got the garlicky cheese knots again:

My wife got another slices of the Don Tomasino pizza:

I got my own slice of plain cheese this time (topped with her tomatoes that I dutifully plucked off the Don Tomasino, since she doesn’t like raw tomatoes:

And a very good meatball sub ($7.99), with onions and peppers added. Don’t worry, I only ate a few bites after two knots and the slice of pizza. It heated up perfectly well in the toaster oven the next day.

And for dessert, my wife wanted to try the chocolate mousse, which was very rich. She barely made it through half of the decadent domelike dessert, and I only had a few bites, so she had plenty left to enjoy the next day.

A cross-section, showing the layers of lusciousness:

But I placed this pickup order on a Friday evening, just before leaving work at 6:00, and let me tell you, Tomasino’s was a standing room only crowd by the time I got there. The only thing harder than getting a table was getting a parking space, especially with the even larger and busier Gators Dockside restaurant next door. So keep in mind Tomasino’s delivers too, for peak times like that. But also keep in mind that our pizza slices were cold by the time I got home, ten minutes away. Pizza — especially thin and crispy New York-style slices like they serve here — is always better eaten at the restaurant, hot and fresh out of the oven, like I warned at the beginning of this review. We knew better, but don’t get me wrong — the food was still good. I’m glad we finally gave our friendly neighborhood Tomasino’s a chance, and after two visits, we have every intention of becoming regulars.