Ice Cream – The Saboscrivner

Chain Reactions: V Pizza

Based on a recommendation from one of my closest foodie friends, who I trust completely, my wife and I took a drive across Orlando to Palm Parkway, down near the entrance to Disney World, to try a new pizzeria. The touristy Lake Buena Vista seemed like quite a schlep for pizza, but V Pizza (https://www.vpizza.com/locations/lake-buena-vista-orlando-fl/) ended up being totally worth the schlep. V Pizza is a chain based in Jacksonville, a city that has never held much appeal to me, but this is its first of hopefully several locations in Orlando.

V Pizza uses clay brick ovens made in Italy to bake Neapolitan-style pizza at 900 degrees. The website says the “V” stands for Veloce, Italian for “fast,” because the ovens bake pizzas in as little as 90 seconds. Their pizzas come out with a thin, crispy crust, similar in style to Anthony’s Coal Fired Pizza and Orlando’s own Pizza Bruno, two of my favorite pizzerias. All of their pizzas are 13″, so kind of a personal size, but still fine for sharing. Having said that, I think any pizza can be a personal pizza if you believe in yourself.

When you get to V Pizza, you order and pay at the counter, then sit down, and a server walks your food out to you. It is a very casual restaurant, not upscale or fancy, but really, really good. They have an open kitchen, and you can see multiple flavors of gelato on display in a glass case. There is also a bar in the back of the restaurant, and they have trivia nights. (I wish my friends and acquaintances would invite me to a trivia night some time, because we would totally win. But alas, I work until 9 PM during the week, which puts a damper on the Saboscrivner’s social life!)

I ordered one of the house special pizzas, the salsiccia pizza, with San Marzano tomato sauce (made with the world’s best tomatoes, grown in volcanic soil in Italy), provolone and mozzarella cheeses, spicy Italian rope sausage (I couldn’t resist trying an unfamiliar sausage), roasted bell peppers and onions, and a drizzle of Calabrian chili pepper oil. It was so fine. All the high-quality ingredients worked really well together, the sausage was excellent, the crust was perfect (not quite as charred as Anthony’s Coal Fired), and the sauce really sang. It was a top-tier pizza, put over the top by that fresh, bright, robust sauce and tender crust.

My wife and I were both kind of shocked that I ate the whole thing right there, in the restaurant. I didn’t set out to eat an entire pizza; it just happened. It was just so good, and surprisingly light, even with the slices of rope sausage on top. So much for leftovers!

My wife built her own pizza, with mushrooms, black olives, and a whole burrata cheese ball. She demurely ate a slice at the pizzeria, and we took the rest home. You might be wondering “Where’s the burrata?”

It came on the side, in a little metal bowl, rather than plunked on the pizza. In case you haven’t experienced the wonder of burrata before, it is a ball of tender, fresh mozzarella cheese (about the size of a large egg, give or take), but the inside is made of stracciatella cheese curds made from buffalo milk and clotted cream, so it is really soft and stretchy with a rich and creamy center. You can buy it at most grocery stores, but this one at V Pizza was really good, drizzled with a bit of olive oil. She loved it, and I think it was better this way, rather than being baked and melted on top of the pizza, losing its consistency and creaminess.

We also shared a pancetta sandwich that came out before the pizzas, like an appetizer. I have recently won my wife over with the wonders of pancetta as an ingredient in so many dishes, from scrambled eggs to roasted potatoes to pasta sauces. It is similar to bacon, only cured but not smoked. I think of it so much as an ingredient, with unrivaled versatility in the kitchen like anchovies, but better. Restaurants hardly ever offer it as a sandwich meat or even a pizza topping, so we couldn’t refuse!

The pancetta in the sandwich was served warm in slices, with melty fresh mozzarella, fresh tomato, fresh basil, and some drizzled Calabrian pepper oil on a crusty, ciabatta-like roll. It was fine, but I think I still prefer pancetta as an ingredient, and I would prefer prosciutto as a (cold) sandwich, which V Pizza also offers.

In addition to pizza and sandwiches, V Pizza also serves salads, pasta dishes, wings, and even brunch on Sundays from 10 AM to 2 PM.

I would be remiss if I did not mention V For Victory (V4V), V Pizza’s charitable mission to partner with local businesses to provide financial support for area families fighting cancer. The website says “V4V and their business partners provide support throughout the duration of treatment, connecting individuals and families with direct services to meet everyday needs such as lawn care, house cleaning, auto repairs, free meals, and more.” That is a noble goal, and even if I didn’t like the food as much as I did, I would still feel really good about supporting V Pizza and boosting their signal.

There is so much on the menu at V Pizza that I would like to try, and I will certainly return. Our server told us they are planning to open another location in Winter Park, and I will probably wait for that one to open. It should do well there, whereas I was sad to see the restaurant on Palm Parkway mostly empty when we went for a late lunch. There are so many dining options in that sprawling shopping center, including the beloved Japanese izakaya Susuru, the hot new Kung Fu Kitchen (which I tried going to once, but the line was way too long), a Korean barbecue and hot pot place (so trendy right now!), two completely unrelated Irish pubs, and a video game bar. I just hope V Pizza doesn’t get lost amid all those other options, especially not being on some main drag in the touristy side of town, because I loved it, and I have impeccable taste. With that in mind, I think most people will find a lot to love there too, even if it’s a schlep for you to get out there as well. Help the battle against cancer and eat some perfect pizza while you’re at it! That’s a win-win situation if there ever was one.

D’Amico & Sons Italian Market & Bakery

After a long wait (which probably felt much longer for the owners than people like me looking forward to the opening), D’Amico & Sons Italian Market & Bakery (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100093695793933) has officially soft-opened in the Oviedo Mall. Sometimes I go to the Regal movie theater in that mall, and it desperately needs something else to keep bringing people in. I am pleased to report that D’amico & Sons should flourish there, if the enthusiastic crowds on the second day of its soft opening continue. Its hours are 7 AM to 7 PM, Monday through Saturday, and 7 AM to 3 PM on Sunday.

I am thrilled to have another Italian market in town, especially one that is much closer to me than my beloved Stasio’s and Tornatore’s. It is a much larger space than either, having completely refurbished the old Chamberlin’s health food store, bright and clean and spacious, with plenty of natural light and ample parking. There is even a covered patio with tables under an Italian flag awning, for those who want to enjoy coffee, gelato, pastries, and sandwiches on the premises.

Like any good Italian market, you can order a variety of coffee drinks. I am happy to see any locally owned and operated coffee shops to combat the Starbucks stranglehold.

There is a gelato counter too, although it was too crowded today to get a photo of it. It looked like they might have twelve or 16 different flavors, and I’m sure my wife and I will work our way through them eventually. Of course I like ice cream (who doesn’t?), but I like gelato even better. I prefer the texture, the intensity of the flavors (especially fruity flavors), and somehow, it is even healthier (or less unhealthy, if you will).

When I arrived around 12:30 on its second day open, there was a long line just to get up to the bakery counter. I managed to snap this shot of beautiful macarons and pastries in a glass case, but there were other cases to behold on each side of it, with cakes to the left and cookies to the right:

Here is another vertical refrigerated case full of gorgeous gelato cakes: chocolate raspberry, triple chocolate, and pistachio.

I ended up bringing home two lobster tail pastries that were so flaky and crispy — the top one filled with rich Bavarian cream, and the bottom one filled with cannoli cream and tiny chocolate chips. Below that are two zeppoli, fried pastries dusted in powdered sugar. Those were my wife’s favorites.

They also sell these Italian wedding cookies and black and white cookies, which I highly recommend. I have bought this brand of black and white cookies before (Bakery Boys of New York), but I brought home the Italian wedding cookies because she loves those, and she was really happy with them. I don’t think they sold individual Italian wedding cookies at the cookie counter, but one would not have been enough!

There are plenty of savory foods to choose from too, including golden-brown arancini, rice balls coated in bread crumbs and lightly fried, for a texture that is crispy-crunchy on the outside and soft and yielding inside. If you’ve ever had a papa rellena from a Cuban cafe or bakery, these are similar, but with rice instead of mashed potatoes inside. There are original, cheese, and cheesesteak arancini to tempt you. D’Amico & Sons definitely have a lot of balls.

I brought an original rice ball home for my wife. The thing is the size of a baseball!

A butcher case of fresh sausages was tempting, but I passed on this first visit. I’ll definitely be back to try some.

They also offer pizzelles, which are pizza-like flatbreads, sold by the slice (and possibly also whole). They looked great, but I treated myself to a pizza yesterday and still have leftovers.

You can also get sandwiches made to order, and I took great care to get a legible photo of the hanging menu, since it is not listed on the Facebook page yet. Right-click this image and open it in a new tab for a larger, more legible photo.
I was really surprised they don’t offer a traditional Italian sub with salami, ham, and other deli meats, plus the typical provolone cheese, veggies, and a vinaigrette, so I ordered what seemed like the closest approximation: the Italian Cubano, with Boar’s Head prosciutto Riserva, porchetta, Swiss cheese, pepperoncini peppers, tomato, deli mustard, and Boar’s Head Pepperhouse Gourmaise (a really good mayo-based condiment) on a sub roll. It was ready pretty quickly, despite how slammed they were at the deli counter.

This is the Italian Cubano sandwich, unwrapped back at home. I would have preferred the pepperoncini peppers to be sliced or chopped rather than whole, but at least they removed the stems. The bread, prosciutto, and Pepperhouse Gourmaise really made this sandwich, but it was a little light on ingredients, and the bread was not fully sliced all the way across, so the ends didn’t have any of the good stuff on them. I didn’t get a taste of the porchetta by itself, but at least I saw it in there. I wonder if they would consider getting a sandwich press for more of a traditional Cubano experience.

I would absolutely try other sandwiches from here, even if they’re not going to dethrone Stasio’s (and my favorite sandwich in the city, the namesake Stasio) anytime soon.

There is a separate counter next to the gelato for ordering fresh-baked bread, and I wisely bought two different loaves to bring home. The sub roll was great, but this sesame seed-studded semolina loaf was even better — warm and fluffy inside, crackly crust outside, and so wonderful when spread with some of our room-temperature butter back at home.

I also bought a pull-apart olive batard, which didn’t have a crunchy, crackly outer crust, but was also warm and fluffy and full of salty, chewy, pungent black olives, baked in. I’m not the biggest olive guy in the world, but I like them as olive salad on a muffuletta sandwich, and I liked them in this bread. My wife really loved this one, and olive her.

Over by the pizzelles, there is a refrigerated case brimming with different Italian cheeses, including ricotta, fresh mozzarella, and even some delicious-looking smoked cheeses. I abstained this time, but I’m glad to know they have all this variety.

And since I am infamous for documenting my love of sardines with my ‘Dines List reviews, I could not leave without a can for this Cuoco brand Seasoning for Macaroni with Sardines. I’ve made the Sicilian dish pasta con le sarde before, with fresh fennel, but I look forward to trying this ready-made combination of sardines, oil, fennel, onions, raisins, and salt the next time I cook up some high-quality imported pasta. Of course I will review it in a future installment of The ‘Dines List! Good for Kaley Cuoco for choosing to diversify, selling sardine seasoning while still performing the animated voice of Harley Quinn. Beauty, talent, and business savvy!

While D’Amico & Sons does not have a full-service Italian restaurant next door like Tornatore’s (probably my favorite Italian restaurant in Orlando), and while the sandwiches may not be Stasio’s quality just yet (definitely my favorite sandwiches in Orlando), Central Florida’s newest and most spacious Italian market, bakery, cafe, and deli is already off to a terrific start, and Seminole County residents are lucky to have it. I know I am. I strongly encourage all my regular readers to make a pilgrimage out here ASAP and consider getting Christmas and New Year’s Eve goodies for any entertaining you have planned. Heck, Hanukah celebrators should find a lot to love here too!

Primrose Lanes

This may be the most predictable review I have written for The Saboscrivner food blog in a long time, probably because this particular restaurant is the talk of the town right now. Orlando-based foodie social media has gone gaga (or gone to the dogs, if you will) discussing, debating, and deconstructing the $15 hot dog from Primrose Lanes (https://www.primroselanes.com/), the new restaurant and bar from former Luke’s Kitchen and Bar Executive Chef Jason Campbell. I will say that if you haven’t heard about this hot dog, then congratulations — you haven’t been spending much time online, and that is laudable. But if you are familiar with Orlando’s latest obsession, sometimes things that get a lot of hype have earned it and deserve it, and this fabulous, fantastic, first-class, fine freakin’ frankfurter definitely lives up to the hype, hoopla, hubbub, and hysteria.

But Primrose Lanes is not just some hot dog hut. It used to be the bowling alley Colonial Lanes, founded in 1959. It was sold and set to become yet another self-storage facility, and the owners even started ripping apart the bowling lanes. Then the Team Market Group bought the building, refurbished the eight remaining lanes, and worked with Chef Campbell to create a dining and drinking destination far beyond what you would expect from “bowling alley food.” Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the pastrami sandwich and house-made potato chips at Brooklyn South Bar at Aloma Bowl, but this is a legit gastropub — a true culinary experience that is far better than anything you’re envisioning. It may not be the cheapest meal in Orlando (although plenty are way more expensive), but as someone who seeks out bargains and hates feeling ripped off, you will definitely get what you pay for at Primrose Lanes, and you’ll leave the restaurant feeling like you just bowled a perfect game.

On my first visit to Primrose Lanes, I went alone and sat on a high-top stool along a beautiful polished wood countertop. I believe a lot of the wood in the restaurant was salvaged from the 24 original bowling lanes that had been destroyed. The restaurant and bar area is a beautiful space, both modern and retro at the same time, with a big glass window overlooking the eight bowling lanes.

I started out with the “Funyun” fried onions, because I review onion rings wherever I find them on menus with a special notice longtime readers know as “RING THE ALARM!” Of course I’m more about the concept of fried onions than the classic ring shape, so I am not a stickler for literal onion rings every time. These fried onions were unlike any other fried onions I’ve ever had, with thin stems serving as handles to hoist the thick, rounded bulbs and dip them into creamy comeback sauce. For a guy who eats a lot of chips and other salty snacks (and reviews them in my recurring Tight Chips features right here on this blog), I almost never eat Funyuns, those vaguely onion-flavored corn snacks, but they made a very interesting coating for these very real onions.

The O.K.C. smashburger was a magnificent double-decker monster, extremely juicy despite the two patties being smashed flat on the flattop grill (hence the name). I always liked thicc burgers (R.I.P. Fuddruckers) and bemoaned the smashburger trend, worried that everyone would be serving dried-out, overpriced hockey pucks. But smashburgers like this one have won me over and give me hope for the future.

This O.K.C. smashburger was dressed with American cheese (still the best burger cheese), mayo, thin slices of delicious house-made pickles, and lots and lots of thin strands of fried onions, which really make a burger for me. Dating back to the Great Depression, Oklahoma-style burger patties are pressed into super-thin strips or slices of onion, which then cook in the heat and the meat juices. It was served on a brioche kaiser roll baked by the Olde Hearth Bread Company, which provides baked goods (no baked bads, ever) to many of the best restaurants in the Orlando area. Even without ketchup, it was a winning burger through and through.

And what about this bougie $15 hot dog? Well, like I said, it surpasses the hype, and anyone who has tried it will probably agree. I rarely order hot dogs when I’m out on the town, because you can pay $7 or $8 for a pack of good-quality Sabretts or all-beef Boar’s Head dogs in the natural casing, so why would you pay that for a single hot dog? But I’m glad I recently treated myself to the brilliant Detroit coney dog at SoDough Square, and I thought I had discovered the best hot dog in Orlando then. It is great, no doubt about it, but Chef Campbell’s hot dog is a triumphant treasure in every possible way.

It is house-made, and I don’t know who else around here goes to the significant effort of making their own hot dogs. It has such a fantastic snap, the way the best hot dogs and sausages do, and I had to close my eyes to savor every bite. In a recent article by Orlando Sentinel food writer (and mah friend) Amy Drew Thompson, Chef Campbell said the hot dogs are made with “Certified Angus. Ribeye, short rib, brisket and chuck in a lamb casing,” and then smoked. That lamb casing is what gives it the satisfying snap, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you need to treat yourself to a higher standard of hot dogs, my dudes. The tangy, zingy relish is house-made too, but I don’t know if the buttery grilled bun is from Olde Hearth Bread Company or baked in-house. The pickle spear next to the burger and the hot dog were delicious too, much to nobody’s surprise. I have no doubt they were also made in-house by Chef Campbell and his team.

Oh yeah, I had heard you could get it topped with smoked trout caviar for an extra $5, and I said “Yes, let’s do that thing.” It added an extra level of decadence to the best hot dog ever (to say nothing of additional salt and smokiness), and I have no regrets. Hey, I’m eating at home more than ever now that I have a remote job, and this was my first trip out of the house in several days, so I felt like living large! WHAT?

Anyway, when I picked up my wife a little later after enjoying that epic meal, she was really hungry and wanted to go to one of her favorite spots for chicken tenders. I was raving about the meal I had enjoyed earlier, and I told her Primrose Lanes had chicken tenders too, as well as a Shirley Temple made with house-made grenadine syrup. I thought for sure she would say “Let’s try it some other time,” but instead she said “That sounds really great, and we’re close, and I’m hungry. Would you mind going back the same day?” And I said “Hell yeah, girl,” and back I went, fewer than two hours later!

She loves Shirley Temples, so she ordered that, and I ordered a lemonade that was nice and cold and tart and refreshing, and not too sweet. She said her Shirley wasn’t as sweet as most, which probably use all kinds of artificially flavored grenadine syrups, possibly bolstered with high fructose corn syrup. She said it was almost “savory,” but I tried a sip and can tell you it wasn’t necessarily savory, but definitely not cloyingly candy-sweet like most. It was also garnished with a dark cherry that definitely wasn’t a bright red maraschino, but maybe an amarena or Luxardo cherry.

She ordered the chicken tendies [sp], which came out darker than either of us expected. I asked if they were burned, and our lovely, patient server Claire, who took care of me on both back to back visits, said they all look like that. The tendies (I still can’t get used to that) came with a ranch dip seasoned with dill and “sha’bang sauce” that was thick and spicy — not exactly buffalo or sriracha, but they could have been involved — with tiny bits of sliced orange in it.

We also shared hash brown bites, perfect potato cubes that were crispy on the outside and soft and yielding inside, dressed with garlic crema and topped with more of that smoked trout caviar. These would be a terrific appetizer to order with any meal, unless you are a vegetarian, and then they could easily hold the trout roe for you. They reminded me of LEGO blocks, the way they were stacked so nicely.

One of the biggest hits of my wife’s first visit to Primrose Lanes and my second was the tuna tartare (her choice), a refreshing portion of diced raw tuna with avocado, spicy mayo, lightly pickled cucumber slices (so good!), sprinkled with regular and black sesame seeds and accompanied by what had to be fried Saltine crackers.

This dish knocked my wife’s socks off. Every ingredient, every taste, every texture worked in perfect harmony. It was my favorite part of my second visit, after all the heavy stuff I ate not that much earlier in the day. It was so cool and creamy and crispy and piquant, especially since I love spicy tuna rolls and poke bowls so much. She was in love with the fried Saltines, which had some kind of mysterious seasoning on them too, and I couldn’t believe nobody else had ever done that before.

And because my wife loves soft serve ice cream, she ordered vanilla soft serve for dessert (because they were out of chocolate) and got it topped with fudge sauce. While I thought the smashburger, the hot dog, and the tuna tartare could not be beat, this was her overall favorite. She looked pensive after the first bite, engrossed in thought, consumed as she consumed it. Her eyes rolled back in her head. She said she had never had soft serve ice cream this good; nothing else had ever come close. She used the word “orgasmic.” Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first.

I could usually do without soft serve ice cream — it tends to be kind of bland and tasteless for me, and rarely tastes like vanilla so much as some kind of plain whiteness. But upon her urging, I tried it, and it was as inspired as the rest of the food on this menu, so far above and beyond what most people might expect, so much better than it even needed to be.

This is the exact kind of restaurant I love to review on my blog. There are countless restaurants where you can get a decent-to-good meal, and if you pay enough money, you’re bound to get something above-average. But I especially love finding good or great food where you don’t expect it, whether it’s a nondescript food truck or trailer or a restaurant inside a place where you wouldn’t go looking for one, and especially wouldn’t dream of finding a good one. I’d say an excellent restaurant in a bowling alley counts for that, even though Primrose Lanes is more of a restaurant and bar with eight really cool bowling lanes than a bowling alley with that serves food.

I don’t mind admitting that I’m a pretty rotten bowler. Because I suck so much, I don’t particularly enjoy bowling, so I don’t do it, and that means I never improve. But if you ever go out for a trivia night with me, you will see me kick all kinds of ass and be impressed, then maybe a little scared, then annoyed, then bored, and then probably round the corner to impressed all over again. And if you ever join me for karaoke, you will find that I am not a particularly good singer, but I will do my damn best and cheer like crazy for my friends who are doing their damn best along with me. Unfortunately, I have yet to find ridiculously elevated food like this at any local trivia or karaoke spots, nor do I have many friends who are ever up for that kind of thing.

The good news about Primrose Lanes is that you don’t have to bowl at all. Plenty of people go just for the food, and you can too. But if you like to eat and bowl, then my stalwart Saboscrivnerinos, this needs to be your next night out with the ladies or the fellas, or your next hot date. Everyone will love it. But if you’re trying to corral 15 or 20 small kids for a bowling birthday party, I would advise against schlepping the little dudes to Primrose Lanes. Children are certainly welcome, but I’d say it is more of a place for adults to have fun. And as a non-kid-haver who ate there twice in one day, adults will likely have more fun there without kids… unless your kids are really cool.

Chain Reactions: Culver’s

Culver’s (https://www.culvers.com/) is a fast food chain that was founded in in Sauk City, Wisconsin, in 1984. I tried it on a short trip to Wisconsin over 20 years ago, to visit the weird, wonderful, and uniquely American roadside attraction The House on the Rock in Spring Green, Wisconsin. Now we have multiple Culver’s locations across Central Florida, and since I am obsessed with regional restaurants and food trends, I appreciate having more options to choose from, chains or not.

Culver’s is famous for its frozen custard, “ButterBurgers,” and breaded, fried cheese curds. But even though the ButterBurgers are above average fast food burgers, my wife and I usually return when we’re in the mood for delicious fish, hand-battered and deep-fried. Culver’s has the best fried fish of any fast food restaurants, and better than a surprising amount of seafood restaurants and Irish and British pubs we’ve been to.

Specifically, they serve North Atlantic cod, which you can get as a sandwich or as a dinner with two or three pieces of fish. Sometimes my wife and I will split a three-piece North Atlantic cod dinner, which comes with fries, cole slaw, and a roll, but you can select two sides of your choice if you don’t want fries (standard crinkle-cut fries) or cole slaw. Ring the Alarm! Culver’s has excellent onion rings, with beer batter coating similar to the battered cod filets. They are my favorite fast food onion rings. They are considered a Premium side, so you have to pay a small upcharge for them. DO IT!

Here’s a close-up of the battered fish from a different visit. It will make you say “Oh my cod!”

As great as the Atlantic cod is (and it is), Culver’s brings out a different battered, fried fish once a year for a limited time: Canadian Northwoods walleye, which is a very light, buttery fish. Even though this sandwich is $7.99, which seems expensive for fast food, it is worth every penny. I added the creamy, crunchy cole slaw on top of the sandwich, too:By the way, the Culver’s website says the tartar sauce includes olives, capers and sweet relish! I would not have guessed olives or capers, but they list the ingredients right on the peel-off lid of the little dipping cup.

That walleye doesn’t look that different from the cod, but trust me, you could tell the difference in a taste test. The sandwich comes with a bit of lettuce and tartar sauce underneath the fish, and the bun is buttered and lightly grilled like all Culver’s sandwich buns. That’s always a nice touch.

I already said that I think the ButterBurgers are just okay, but Culver’s amazed and astonished when they came out with this limited-time special: the “Curderburger.” It is exactly what you think — a burger served on the typical bun (buttered and lightly grilled, thank you very much), topped with a “cheese crown.” Yes, that is a giant breaded and fried cheese curd patty, and it’s the stuff that dreams are made of. (Because “SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF CHEESE!”)

Here’s a cross-section, with melty, molten cheddar cheese curd leaking out of the fried patty on top of the burger. You probably shouldn’t eat more than one of these a year, or the Curderburger could become a Murderburger. Luckily, it is a limited-time menu item.
I should note that back in the ’90s, my brother and I were enamored with a similar decadent burger from the late, lamented chain restaurant Bennigan’s, the “Wheelhouse burger,” topped with what was essentially a mozzarella cheese stick in patty form instead of stick form. And I have to give a shout-out to Orlando’s beloved Se7enbites, the Southern restaurant and bakery where Chef Trina Gregory-Propst created the Italian Stallion burger, topped with tomato jam, pesto aioli, and a mozzarella cheese plank. But I digress!

This is my wife’s favorite Signature side, the pretzel bites, which you have to pay a $1.50 upcharge for if you get them in a combo with a sandwich or a dinner. But again, like so many things at Culver’s, they are totally worth it. The outside crust is lightly crackly and crispy and buttery and salty, and the inside is pillowy soft. They come with a little dipping cup of Wisconsin cheddar cheese sauce for dipping, but they don’t need anything — and I say that as someone who always likes dipping things in other things.

In fact, I tried a few of the different dipping sauces with onion rings, as you can see. That’s the Wisconsin cheddar cheese sauce on the left in the unlabeled cup. The Boom Boom sauce is a little spicy and surprisingly thick and heavy, but the creamy, tangy Culver’s Signature sauce SLAPS. Those are both recent discoveries from my last trip, and I would definitely get that Signature sauce again.

George’s chili is considered a Signature side too, so you have to pay a $1.50 upcharge for it as well. I always love chili, and if it’s offered on a menu, I will always try it. The website boasts that this is “medium-spicy” chili con carne, but keep in mind this is a chain restaurant from Wisconsin, and I found it very mild. It is made by simmering ground beef (the same stuff the burgers are made of, naturally), diced tomatoes, dark red kidney beans, peppers, onion and celery, and a “secret blend of peppery spices.” With Culver’s always making a big deal about its Wisconsin roots and all its great cheese, I thought the chili could really use some shredded cheese or the cheddar cheese sauce on top to melt into it.

I appreciate fast food restaurants that don’t just offer burgers and chicken, but have all kinds of odd, offbeat options. You may have already noticed Culver’s is cool like that, but they even have a pot roast sandwich made with hand-shredded braised chuck roast. I have a deep, abiding love of slow-braised and stewed meats, cooked until they are moist and tender and falling apart. Too many people under-season their pot roast and dry it out, to the point that you can chew it forever and nothing happens, but not so with this sandwich. It was a tasty, savory alternative to the standard burgers and fried fish, and I would definitely get it again some time.

In addition to the ButterBurgers, the frozen custard is a big draw at Culver’s and a major part of its brand. It is my wife’s favorite part — even more than the fish. She usually opts for the chocolate custard with chunks of Butterfinger candy swirled in, but this time she got it with some chocolate syrup, pecans, and a cherry on top.

I’ve been sitting on this review for the better part of a year, waiting for the triumphant return of Culver’s lemon ice, a summer treat that sadly disappears for the rest of the year. Summer is my least-favorite season here in hot, humid, sticky, sweltering Florida, but I do love all the sweet, cold, refreshing drinks and treats that come out in the summer. My favorite is Culver’s lemon ice — in this case, a strawberry-mango lemon ice cooler, which is real slow-frozen lemonade swirled with real fruit. It is definitely a dessert, not as wholesome and nutritious as a smoothie (although smoothies are also high in calories and carbs), but I love ’em. Culver’s actually has lemon ice smoothies as well, where they mix the lemon ice and fruit with their vanilla custard, but I like them more tangy and acidic and less creamy. I drank a fair bit on the drive home before I could take this photo, but they really do fill the cup all the way up. I’m trying to avoid sweets and desserts and sugary sodas, but I can see enjoying a few more lemon ice coolers before the summer of 2023 ends.

The thing on the right is a chocolate custard with M&Ms mixed in — my wife’s choice, of course.

So that’s Culver’s. They take longer to prepare your meal than most other fast food establishments, and cost considerably more, but you pay for quality, including fresh food cooked to order every time. I must admit I always look askance at the receipt on every trip to Culver’s and think “REALLY?” But the two kinds of fish (the cod and limited-time walleye), the onion rings, the pretzel bites, and the lemon ices never disappoint, and my wife loves that chocolate custard too. Anyone who has ever read my food blog knows that I don’t consider myself too cool or too sophisticated to enjoy fast food. I am neither an elitist nor a health nut. Culver’s is definitely well above average for fast food, so give it a try if you haven’t already. And if you have, what are YOUR Culver’s favorites?

Sampaguita Filipino Ice Cream

Right before the end of 2022, my wife and I were lucky enough to attend a soft opening preview of Sampaguita Filipino Ice Cream (https://www.sampaguitausa.com/), the newest sweet spot in Orlando’s Mills 50 district, one of our most diverse dining destinations. Located mere steps from previous Saboscrivner favorites like Poke Hana, Tasty Wok, and across the street from bb.q.Chicken, Sampaguita opened in an ideal central location in a neighborhood that features dozens of awe-inspiring Asian restaurants, tea and dessert shops, grocery stores, and other businesses.

I will note, as usual, that parking can be tricky around Mills 50, depending on your timing, but there is a convenient parking lot behind the Sampaguita/Tasty Wok/Poke Hana/Mamak/Moderne plaza on East Colonial and Shine, along with convenient back entrances to most of those, including Sampaguita. If you can’t find street parking in the front along Colonial, don’t despair.

The inside of Sampaguita is something to behold. The décor is gorgeous tropical paradise, inspired by the Philippines and also Miami. I found it very comforting and relaxing inside, almost like we were on vacation at an island resort. There are comfortable tables and booths, so you can linger with your ice cream in lovely surroundings. The entire staff was friendly and welcoming, explaining flavors at the counter up front, offering us free samples, and checking up on us once we were seated.

Who wouldn’t want to hang out here? I am not one of those food bloggers obsessed with ambience, being an “anti-influencer” and all (hey, that’s what they say on Reddit!), but I call ’em like I see ’em, and Sampaguita is a lovely and photogenic place.

They had 16 ice cream flavors available during the soft opening. Here are the first twelve:

The last four flavors are all vegan:
Buko pandan
Mango float
Rotating sorbet (that means they will rotate different sorbet flavors in and out)
Coffee & biskwit
They also offered two additional flavors of soft serve ice cream (softcream) in both dairy and vegan varieties: vanilla and ube, a purple yam common in Filipino desserts, with a taste similar to vanilla or taro, if you’ve ever tried that. You can also opt for the vanilla and ube to come swirled together, which my wife was all about.

We sampled several. Banoffee — a banana/toffee flavor — was excellent, and so was peach mango pie, which I figured was a playful tribute to the hand-held desserts from Jollibee, the beloved Filipino fast food chain, which finally opened in Orlando earlier this year.

If you click the Sampaguita website link above (or here, for your convenience), the menu page offers much more detailed descriptions of every flavor.

You can get a variety of toppings, as well as fresh waffle cones that smell so good, or classic cake cones.

Ultimately, I went with a triple, with a scoop of three different tropical fruity flavors — my Miami upbringing coming through. I got mango float (a vegan flavor), pineapple cake (similar to pineapple upside-down cake, with chewy cherries in there), and keso guava cheesecake, a very Miami-influenced flavor, recalling all the guava and cream cheese pastelitos you can get everywhere down there. I opted to have my three scoops topped with a drizzle of pineapple caramel sauce, and I was in heaven.

My wife opted for a triple as well. She asked if she could get a scoop-sized swirl of the vanilla and ube soft serve as one of her three flavors, and they kindly agreed. Then she got choco peanut (milk chocolate ice cream with a peanut sauce swirl, a Filipino twist on the classic chocolate peanut butter combo) and the namesake Sampaguita flavor, an almond vanilla bean ice cream base with lychee jelly and a hint of jasmine, based on a favorite childhood snack of Marie Mercado, Sampaguita’s founder and co-owner. It looked like it would be a good plain, basic flavor, but it was actually quite intense and delicious — far more almond than vanilla.

Marie visited our table to check on us, and she told us, “The Greenery Creamery [her other Orlando ice cream parlor] is an exploration of [her] self expression; Sampaguita is an exploration of [her] self identity.” Marie wants to validate all the Asian-American kids who were teased and isolated for bringing home-cooked meals in their school lunches, rather than standard American kid foods. The flavors of Sampaguita are a love letter to her family, her life, and her culture as a Filipina-American. That love really comes through in every taste, every interaction, and every moment spent in Sampaguita.

It took us too long, but we returned again recently. My wife was so enamored with the softcream that she got the vanilla and ube swirl again, this time in a fresh waffle cone that tasted better than any other ice cream cone ever, probably.

I opted for another triple with three new flavors, even though I really loved the first ones I tried. That top orange scoop is peach mango pie, the yellow-orange scoop on the right is soy sauce butterscotch, and the pale green is creamy buko pandan, with young coconut (buko) and pandan, a tropical plant that smells and tastes a bit like floral vanilla. As usual, Eater wrote a really good article explaining more about the pandan plant and its place in Filipino desserts.Since you are dying to know, the soy sauce butterscotch tasted sweet and buttery, but there was a salty umami quality that cut through. If it sounds like a weird or unpleasant combination, you couldn’t be more wrong. Just think about how sea salt started getting combined with caramel all the time a few years ago, and you’ll be close to this magical combination.

I am so happy Sampaguita exists. Marie Mercado’s ice cream dream that she shared with our city is already a smashing success, and I’m so happy to see it happening. From the moment my wife and I first wandered in, I knew people would embrace the concept, unfamiliar flavors and all. This is, without a doubt, my favorite ice cream parlor in Orlando, and I recommend it strongly. Whether you crave the conventional or have an adventurous palate and live for trying new things, you will find something cool and sweet to love here — and I don’t just mean Marie and her lovely, patient staff.

Bad As’s Burgers

Bad As’s Burgers (https://badassburgersfl.com/) is the newest restaurant venture from John Collazo, the chef and owner of Orlando’s beloved Bad As’s Sandwich. I’ve been to Bad As’s Sandwich dozens of times and tried almost everything on the menu, to the point that my detailed review from 2019 barely scratches the surface. But never content to sit still or rest on his laurels, Chef John launched his new burger concept on Curry Ford Road in late 2022, and my wife and I recently tried it.

At Bad As’s Burgers, you pretty much know what you’re going to get: smash-style burgers made with high-quality Australian wagyu beef, with a variety of creative toppings on fresh-baked buns. Just a warning to vegetarians and vegans — there are no veggie burger options at Bad As’s Burgers, at least not yet.

Similar to the menu at Bad As’s Sandwich, there are plenty of chef-created combinations to choose from, or you can build your own burger. My wife is the opposite of me, in that she likes burgers and sandwiches very plain and free from extraneous toppings, condiments, and sauces. She ordered a plain burger with a side of fries, and she seemed to really like it. These fries look and taste a lot like McDonald’s fries from times past, and that is because they are fried in beef tallow, just like McDonald’s used to, at least through the 1980s.

When I placed our order at the register, she didn’t notice on the menu that you could get sautéed mushrooms as a topping, but she really likes mushrooms. (That makes one of us.) Luckily for her, you can also order a generous side order of the mushrooms:

I was having a hard time choosing from all of Chef John’s creations, but when I saw they had a daily special that wasn’t on the regular menu, it became an easy decision. This was the Drew, a burger topped with French stewed onions, crispy onions, Bleu cheese, and some kind of tangy aioli. I had actually been fantasizing about French onion soup that very day, so it was a perfect burger and a perfect decision.

Here’s an extreme close-up of the Drew:

Chef John is great at mixing up different aiolis, which I knew from Bad As’s Sandwich. But I just love ketchup on burgers, too. Sorry, not sorry!

I opted for sweet potato fries so we could try both kinds of fries, and they were spot-on, with nice, crispy exteriors and soft, yielding centers. In fact, we both agreed that we preferred them to the beef tallow fries, despite our shared ’80s McDonald’s nostalgia.

My wife couldn’t resist a chocolate shake, and she said it was great. I appreciated Bad As’s Burgers not following the milkshake trend of adding a lot of sticky, messy, drippy stuff to the outside of the cup, hoping to appeal to the Instagram crowd but creating sticky situations.

I think Bad As’s Burgers will continue to survive and even thrive in a market full of fast-casual burger joints because of Chef John Collazo’s creativity and insistence on the highest quality product. This doesn’t feel like a corporate chain “gourmet burger” place because it isn’t. It has that uniqueness and love that you find in the best locally owned and operated restaurants. Is it the cheapest around? Absolutely not, but you pay for quality. As much as I love the cheap, tasty sliders at White Castle and Krystal, if you go to Bad As’s Burgers, you can expect top-quality beef, toppings, fries, and even fresh-baked buns. You taste every bit of effort, care, and attention to detail with every bite, just like at Bad As’s Sandwich. And even if you consider it a splurge, sometimes you just have to treat yo’self.

Hanalei Shave Ice

Hanalei Shave Ice (https://www.instagram.com/hanaleishaveice/) is a refreshing new addition to Orlando’s sweet scene, run by native Hawaiian Brandy Ford, who has a fascinating story of her own. Located at The House on Lang in the Mills 50 neighborhood, one of Orlando’s best areas for food, this welcoming and festive trailer serves up authentic Hawaiian-style shave ice (never “shaved” ice!) treats that are a perfect, soft consistency, almost like snow, topped with your choice of several delicious sauces, which are so much more than just flavored syrups.

Brandy offers dozens of flavors of shave ice, and all but one of her sauces are homemade, with all-natural ingredients. I do like orange-flavored desserts, but she went out of her way to warn me that the orange flavor contains food coloring. It might still be awesome, but I would sooner start with the others that she makes herself. And so I did.

In the article I linked to above, Brandy tells the story of buying a vintage ice shaving machine from Hawaii that had been used in a grocery store. She spoke to her father and realized it was not only from the same store where he worked decades ago, but it was the exact same machine he used when he made shave ices back in the day. Here is my delicious shave ice, posed in that meaningful, multigenerational machine (although she used a more modern machine to make it):

So this was my shave ice, with a combination of two flavors, lilikoi (passion fruit, my latest flavor obsession) and strawberry guava. There are little chunks of strawberry on top, and it is drizzled with sweetened condensed milk, which makes everything better. Brandy asked if I wanted it sprinkled with li hing mui, a dried plum powder that is popular in Hawaii, and I told her to go for it. Good call. Li hing mui adds a sweet-salty-sour taste to fruit and desserts, and it reminded me of the chamoy sauce I have enjoyed in mangonadas in the past, but different.

Here’s a close-up. The shave ice is so silky and smooth, similar to the texture of Jeremiah’s Italian Ice, for all you Orlando locals who have enjoyed it in the past. It isn’t in big chunks, and the flavor syrups distribute well throughout the entire cup, so you are not left with unflavored ice or a pool of plain water at the bottom, something that always frustrates me about Slurpees and similar “slush” desserts.

On my second visit, I got a combination of two different flavors: key lime pie (in my all-time Top Five desserts, so I had to try her version), and piña colada, once again topped with sweetened condensed milk (which may also place in my Top Five desserts, just as a solo act!). Again, it was so sweet, refreshing, and just delightful. I think the two flavors would work better separately, or combined with other things rather than with each other, but this way I got a taste of both.
When I used to teach my students about library materials, we would discuss legal treatises, and inevitably, one kid in every class would insist on pronouncing it “treat-ICE” (rather than “treat-ISS”). Nope, sorry, but thanks for playing! But here at Hanalei Shave Ice, you can get actual treat-ICES.

On weekends, she offers malasadas, traditional Portuguese doughnuts that are extremely popular in Hawaii, particularly the ones from the famous Leonard’s Bakery in Honolulu. (I’ve never been to Hawaii, but I make a living with my research skills!)

I brought home a half-dozen beautiful malasadas:

Here’s the soft, fluffy, inviting inside of a malasada, perfect for filling with three flavors of ice cream: vanilla, ube (sweet purple yam), or cheese (which I will definitely try next time), or tropical fruit sauces. Unfortunately, Brandy didn’t have the lilikoi and guava sauces the day I got these, but I was happy to accept and eat them plain. They were like really fresh, really good, really LARGE doughnuts, clearly hand-made with love rather than rolled off an assembly line.

At Hanalei Shave Ice, you can pay with cash, Apple Pay, Zelle, CashApp, or Venmo. Apparently I am an old, because I don’t have any of these apps, just Paypal, since I have been buying, selling, and trading collectible comic books and action figures online since the ’90s. So I paid cash, which I rarely do anywhere else.

You need to check out Hanalei Shave Ice. While I usually hate that Orlando doesn’t get a real winter with cold weather that lasts more than a day or two, an upside is that we can enjoy cold, sweet treats year-round. Brandy Ford has ample experience in the restaurant industry as a chef and manager, but since she decided on this phase of her career, she’s building a loyal following with Hawaiian hospitality here at the House on Lang in Mills 50. She’s so warm and welcoming, quirky and kind. Her shave ices are so refreshing, and you have almost infinite flavor combinations to keep coming back and treating yourself. They’re so much lighter than ice cream, to the point where you can convince yourself you’re actually eating health food here! I don’t know if I’ll ever make it to Hawaii, but Orlando is already building up a deep bench of restaurants serving Hawaiian favorites, like my beloved Poke Hana and Hanalei Shave Ice, just minutes away from each other. I’ll have to bring my wife out there one day, because I’m already such a huge fan of the local specialties.

Chain Reactions: Salt & Straw

Salt & Straw (https://saltandstraw.com/) is a small chain of artisanal ice cream shops, founded in 2011 by cousins Kim and Tyler Malek in that hipster hub of Portland, Oregon. Now they have four locations in Oregon (three of which are in Portland) and a handful in other cities known for their strong foodie culture: Seattle, the San Francisco Bay Area, Los Angeles, San Diego, two in Miami, one at Disneyland in California, and now one right here at Disney Springs in Orlando, which opened just this past Wednesday, four days ago!

Your friendly neighborhood Saboscrivner was right there on the scene, accompanied by his wife and three dear friends who came in from Tampa to join us in our decadent breakfast of ice cream. We were the first people there when the doors opened at 10 AM, since I had read about long lines the past few days. That’s how we roll, folks. Get in, get out, beat the crowds, and hopefully limit our COVID-19 exposure.

It is located near the AMC Theater, Starbucks, and the Star Wars and Marvel stores on the west side of Disney Springs. If you’re making a special trip just to try it, I recommend parking in the Orange Garage, or in the parking lot near the House of Blues and Cirque de Soleil.

Salt & Straw is known for some pretty creative flavors, all made from high-end, often locally sourced ingredients. The official website doesn’t list the flavors for the brand-new Disney Springs location yet, but the Disney Springs website does. I also took a picture of the flavors, for your convenience:
We were amused by a lot of people walking by, looking at the sign, and remarking how “weird” a lot of those flavors sounded. I think the location will do very well, because there are plenty of novelty-seekers who just love trying new things and having new experiences. I’m certainly one of those, and we may outnumber the people who get stressed out by too many options, or put off by unfamiliar options.

This is not cheap ice cream, folks, but if you’re on Disney property, you must already realize that nothing is cheap. But I hate a ripoff, and I’m happy to report you get what you pay for here. Also, the patient Salt & Straw staffers will hand you spoons to sample any flavor, and possibly even every flavor if they aren’t too busy. Since we were first, Keanna was extremely patient and gracious with us, as we sampled their wares. I kept promising that we were going to buy a lot of ice cream after all those samples, and we certainly did!

Our one friend got a single scoop “kids” portions for $5.75, and she chose honey lavender, which she seemed to love. I’m not a huge fan of lavender as a food flavor — it often makes things smell or taste like soap to me. But I also tried a free sample spoonful of that flavor, and it was nice — smooth and floral, but not soapy. Sorry I didn’t get a photo.

But the best deal, which I highly recommend, is the ice cream flight, where you can choose up to four flavors — four separate, slightly smaller scoops — in a container with four compartments to keep them from touching. It costs $14.75, and that’s definitely the way to do it. My wife and I studied the menu in advance, and after trying our samples, we knew exactly what to get.

This was my flight:

Top left: a new flavor called Bottomless Limes!, invented by a 12-year-old kid named Rae. According to the menu, “[they] ribbon in Key Lime cheesecake with hunks of golden pie crust, crystallized with brown sugar and ginger, and shards of sprinkle-studded chocolate bark.” I’ve made no secret of my love of key lime pie, citrusy desserts, and cheesecake, so that sounded perfect for me.
Top right: strawberry honey balsamic with black pepper, another flavor that sounded tailor-made for me. I often buy fresh strawberries, chop them up, and then macerate them in the fridge with balsamic vinegar, which brings out their natural sweetness. This sounds weird, but it is amazing, and even more amazing scooped over vanilla ice cream. So with this combination from Salt & Straw, it was definitely an example of great minds thinking alike.
Bottom left: Roasted pineapple coconut sherbet. This is a vegan flavor. I love anything pineappley and coconutty, and those flavors work so well together.

Bottom right: The Salty Donut guava and cheese, inspired by an artisanal doughnut shop that opened a location in Orlando a year or two back, but I haven’t been to it yet. I’m from Miami, and I grew up eating pastelitos, flaky pastries stuffed with sweetened cream cheese and guava paste, so I couldn’t resist this combination of cream cheese ice cream, glazed brioche donut chunks, guava curd, and puffed pastry streusel.

You can see above that they serve the flights in a flat plastic container with flat lids, which makes it a heck of a lot easier to carry out of the shop, since there is no seating inside. They are also nice enough to write the flavors on the lid, so you can always remember which one you are trying.Here they are, uncovered. The Bottomless Limes! flavor (top left) had a lot going on — maybe too much. But it wasn’t as citrusy or as tart as I would have liked. The Salty Donut had a slight tartness from the cream cheese ice cream base, but I didn’t detect a single morsel of guava curd in there, and neither did our other friend, who got a scoop in his flight. Again, I’m glad I tried both of those, but I wouldn’t get either one again.
On the other hand, the strawberry honey balsamic with black pepper (top right) was sweet, tart, and magnificent, and the roasted pineapple coconut sherbet (bottom left) was subtle, but refreshing, and I loved it. I’d definitely recommend those.

This is my wife’s flight:

Top left: Cinnamon snickerdoodle, with actual freshly baked snickerdoodle cookies (or cookie dough?) folded into the cinnamon ice cream. This was by far her favorite.
Top right: The “Ice Cream of Moo,” invented by a 10-year-old named Bridget. It features “Silky chocolate ice cream dashed with a touch of salt, studded with clusters of candied caramel cashews and hunks of maraschino cherry-laced chocolate ganache.”
Bottom left: Chocolate gooey brownie, with actual fudge brownies folded into chocolate ice cream.
Bottom right: Double Fold vanilla, with ground vanilla beans and double-folded vanilla extract. We were looking forward to a great, simple vanilla ice cream, but we thought this one was rather bland and kind of disappointing, compared to the others’ strong flavors and bold combinations.

Those waffle cone “chips” are pretty amazing, by the way. Very buttery, with a slight hint of salt, and they stayed crunchy even in the ice cream. I had bought an extra waffle cone for the two of us to sample (just $2), but that was before I knew they threw in these waffle cone chips with the flights… and then it rolled off my container and fell on the ground, shattering. Hopefully one of the cute Disney squirrels got to enjoy that cone.

My other friend’s flight included the Triple Tropic Twist flavor, which features “Bright mango-pineapple jelly and citrus mousse swirl through a wildly fruity raspberry sherbet.” He let me taste that one, and it was really good too. It had more of that tartness I always enjoy in fruity desserts. I also really like sherbet and sorbet, sometimes even more than creamy ice cream.

And before we got served, I also sampled the Arbequina olive oil ice cream (extremely subtle and not too sweet or too strong; probably great as a palate cleanser between stronger flavors) and the Panther Coffee chocolate tres leches ice cream, featuring espresso from Miami’s popular hipster coffeehouse. Tres leches is one of my favorite desserts, but I didn’t really taste any of that in my little sample spoonful. I just tasted milky coffee ice cream, but really good milky coffee ice cream.

Would I rush back to Salt & Straw? I don’t think so, but mostly because we are not really “Disney adults,” and the place is such a schlep to get out to. But I sure love trying new things and writing about them, so I’m very glad I was able to try as many new ice cream flavors as I did, treated people I love to them too, and got to tell this tale afterwards. If you’re at Disney Springs and are craving something sweet, absolutely check it out. I don’t think you could possibly regret it, especially if you order a flight, as most of us did this morning. If you get there early enough to not have to wait in a long line in the blazing heat and oppressive humidity, even better!

Also, I must note this, because I am a fan of professional wrestling and action movies: a co-worker tipped me off that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is now an investor in Salt & Straw, and they have released flavors inspired by his larger-than-life persona as one of the biggest entertainers in the world (figuratively and literally). None of those were available today, but you might SMELLLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING on a later visit to Salt & Straw, Orlando’s newest and most exciting ice cream destination.

Build My Burgers

Build My Burgers (https://www.buildmyburgers.com/) sounds like something an old-timey Southern lady would say, as an expression of surprise or exasperation: “Well, build mah burgers!” But no such phrase exists, although maybe it should. Instead, Build My Burgers is a new fast-casual burger restaurant that opened in a small shopping plaza on University Boulevard, just a few minutes west of the University of Central Florida. It is an independent, locally owned restaurant, and it could really use your support, because Build My Burgers will build you a tasty burger to your exact specifications, with dozens of options to customize it. You can have a lot of fun here. I sure did.

The burgers themselves are Black Angus beef, served as thin, “smashed” patties. They might not be as thick or juicy as the patties from a burger joint like Fuddruckers or Teak, but they pack a lot of flavor and are clearly high-quality beef. You can also choose regular or spicy fried chicken, a veggie burger, or an Impossible Burger if you don’t feel like beef. Brioche is the standard bun, but you could also get your burger or sandwich on a thicker pretzel bun for a $2 upcharge or a lettuce bed for no additional cost, for the keto dieters out there. (I did keto for five miserable months in 2017, and let’s just say it did not end well.)

But best of all about Build My Burgers, at least in my book, is the voluminous list of burger toppings and condiments to choose from. I know some people’s brains short-circuit and shut down when faced with too many choices, but I love being able to choose so many different flavors and textures to make a one-of-a-kind meal, whether I’m customizing a poke bowl, a sandwich, a burrito, or a burger, in this case.

I opted for a double-patty burger ($8.99) with two slices of American cheese (75 cents each) on the standard brioche bun. From there, I asked them to add ketchup, spicy mustard, barbecue sauce, lettuce, tomato, caramelized onions, pickles, roasted red peppers, crunchy potato sticks (making their second appearance in a row on The Saboscrivner blog), and guacamole. Our food arrived on metal trays, with the burgers wrapped up, fast food-style, already assembled. Good grief, that was an insanely beautiful, messy, and delicious burger!

My wife likes to keep things simple, so she ordered a single burger ($6.49) on the pretzel bun (a $2 upcharge), and only opted to add thousand island dressing, which was a really good condiment pairing. She ended up thinking the pretzel bun was just okay, but probably would have preferred the brioche. I thought the denser, thicker pretzel bun would have been balanced better with a thicker, two-patty burger and more toppings and condiments.
Next time she’ll get a burger on a brioche bun with guacamole, and next time I’ll probably get something very similar to what I got this time, but add thousand island. We both thought the crinkle-cut fries, dusted with a peppery seasoning, were just okay.

What really sold me on finally trying Build My Burgers were people’s photos of the onion rings. Sharp-eyed Saboscrivnerinos know I am an onion ring aficionado, and I’ll try onion rings anywhere I find them. Those inevitable onion ring reviews get a special tag: RING THE ALARM! And these onion rings ($4.99) are “my type,” with their golden brown batter. Perfect size, shape, color, consistency, and taste. Flawless onion rings, worth ringing the alarm for.

My wife was really craving a chocolate shake ($5.99), but also asked me if I had any interest in sharing an order of fried Oreos ($5.99). That’s a decadent double dessert right there, but I realized neither of us had ever had fried Oreos before, so why not? Anything the Scots love has to be pretty good, right? Well, she seemed to really like the shake, and I enjoyed the obligatory sip I took.
Does anyone remember Pulp Fiction, one of the biggest movies to come out in 1994? I was in 11th grade at the time, and I was absolutely obsessed with it. Anywhere, there was a whole discussion about how a cheesy ’50s diner-themed restaurant in L.A. served five-dollar milkshakes, and what a ripoff that was. I always think of that moment in the film whenever I encounter milkshakes, because over 25 years later, five dollars is pretty standard, and many places cost far more. Vincent Vega would have lost his damn mind if he saw the $15.99 “freaky shakes” on the Build My Burgers menu, but those are huge, opulent, towering structures meant to be photographed and shared (but not picked up, because all kinds of stuff is stuck to the outside of the glasses). This standard chocolate milkshake in a standard plastic cup suited my wife just fine.

And because you were wondering, here’s a cross-section of the fried Oreos. They were actually better than I expected, in that the batter was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, and the Oreo still had some crunch to it. I was expecting a sad, greasy mess that would make me feel guiltier than usual, and also a little disappointed. Well, they weren’t greasy or disappointing at all, I’m happy to report!

I don’t end up on the east side of Orlando near UCF to eat very often, but if you’re out there, you can definitely count on a tasty burger from Build My Burgers. Any of my stalwart Saboscrivnerinos know how much I value freedom of choice, and how much I love being able to customize and trick out my meals with a variety of options. This is the perfect place for that. Even vegetarians would be very content. I look forward to returning and improvising some new crazy burger combination, but in the meantime, I wanted to spread the word about a relatively new restaurant that could use every bit of support.

Jr Tropical Ice Cream

I think by now, we have established that I’m the “food guy” at work. I’ve never been a fan of the word “foodie,” or anything else that sounds like baby talk, but I’ve embraced my role as the food guy, quick to make restaurant recommendations, show up with delicious snacks to share, or try to wrangle people to go out to lunch somewhere new and different.

My colleagues don’t always take my advice, especially when it comes to picking a place to go out to lunch, but today they did. I drove three of them to a great, relatively new restaurant that none of us had been to before, but I had been reading good things about, that I had been wanting to try for a while. That review is coming soon, but when we were almost back to work, someone mentioned ice cream, I mentioned I had heard about a new ice cream place that sounded good, and then they all demanded I keep driving and take them there next.

So we ended up at Jr Tropical Ice Cream (https://www.facebook.com/JrTropicalicecream), a small establishment on Goldenrod Road, in a little shopping plaza just south of East Colonial Drive. I had driven by this place a couple of times, but never had a chance to stop and explore. I saw in the window that Jr Tropical serves a bunch of unique flavors of ice cream, including several tropical fruits (my favorite, Miami boy that I am) and some Puerto Rican and other Latin flavors. I was so excited my co-workers were on board, trusting me even though I hadn’t even been here yet myself.

Jr Tropical Ice Cream instantly reminded me of my favorite ice cream parlor I’ve ever been to, Azucar Ice Cream Company in Miami, which offers a lot of unique flavors based on tropical fruits and Cuban desserts. I hope to make it back to Azucar some day to write a proper review, but in the meantime, I am thrilled that we have Jr Tropical Ice Cream here in Orlando.

Well, everyone loved it, I’m pleased to report. It’s a delightful little place with a huge variety of ice cream flavors, all made in-house. The young man and woman who worked there were extremely friendly and welcoming, and you could tell they took a lot of pride in their ice cream. Not only do they have so many interesting flavors, but the prices are definitely right.

Everyone except me ordered a small, for a very reasonable $2.99. You can try up to two different flavors in a small. Me being me, I asked how many flavors you could try in a medium for $4.50, expecting three, but you can get *four*. They had me at four!

You can also upgrade to a small waffle cone for $3.75, a large waffle cone for $4.90, a waffle bowl for $5.60, or get a banana split for $5.57. What isn’t listed on these TV menus is that you can also get ice cream in half of a fresh coconut, which they cut in half right then and there. I don’t even know why I didn’t get my ice cream in half of a coconut. Even though we all knew we had to go back to work, I would have totally felt like I was on vacation. Next time!

So the next four slides are my less-than-perfect photos of all the flavors of the day. I’ll type them out to make it easier:
Tamarindo/tamarind
Acerola/West Indian cherry
Parcha/passion fruit
Guayaba/guava
Almendra/almond
Mango piña/mango pineapple

Piña/pineapple
Guanabana/soursop
Arroz con dulces/rice pudding
Guava piña/guava pineapple
Maiz/corn
Piña colada/pineapple coconut

Fresa/strawberry
Vainilla/vanilla
Birthday cake
Panky (we asked about this one, and Panky is a popular Puerto Rican wafer cookie, so this is chocolate ice cream with crumbled chocolate Panky wafers mixed into it)
Chocolate
Anis/anise (the flavor of black licorice)

Coco/coconut
Ron con pasas/rum raisin
Tres leches (literally “three milks,” a traditional Latin American dessert that is one of the richest, creamiest, most decadent and delicious desserts ever, made from a sponge cake swimming in a combination of sweetened condensed milk, evaporated milk, and heavy cream)
Nutella
Cookies and cream
Chocolate chip

And here are all the toppings and syrups that are available. None of us opted to get any toppings or syrups on our maiden voyage, but when I return, I may add some sweetened condensed milk to whichever ice cream flavors I choose. It’s so good, a lot of the time I’d rather just spoon or pour some condensed milk out of a can than eat a conventional dessert like cookies, cake, or a lesser ice cream.

But these were not lesser ice creams, constant readers! They all had a thick, rich texture with a nice “mouth feel” — no gritty iciness from freezer burn, no weird mouth-coating fattiness like you notice from some cheaper, low-quality ice creams. We lingered to enjoy them inside the shop because it was so hot outside, and I appreciated nobody asking if we could eat them in my car on the short drive back to work. That’s how you get ants!

One colleague sampled the West Indian cherry and thought it was a little sour. He ended up getting a small with the parcha (passion fruit) and the rum raisin, and he raved about how terrific the rum raisin was. That’s an underrated ice cream flavor, if you ask me. Rum Raisin isn’t flashy or sexy, it doesn’t have half of a candy store mixed into it, kids would probably think it is gross, but it’s kind of sophisticated and adult, and you could pretend you were on vacation trying it, or at least pretend your workday was already over.

And what about my four flavors? I started with the passion fruit myself, then asked for guava, then mango piña, and topped it all off with the corn flavor. I’ve had a sweet corn ice cream before at Wondermade in Sanford (another fantastic local ice cream shop), so I wanted to try this one. It tastes a lot like sweet corn, but it was a uniform consistency with no kernels or anything. It was good, but the fruit flavors were the real draw. I loved them all, but I am obsessed with pineapple, mango, guava, and passion fruit and anything with those flavors. I was an easy mark, but they didn’t disappoint at all.

Another colleague got the tres leches and let me sample a taste of it. It was so good, I preferred it to my top layer of maiz ice cream. It definitely had cinnamon in it, so it reminded me almost more of horchata, that sweet Mexican rice milk flavored with cinnamon, than tres leches. But unlike most of the other ice creams that were a uniform consistency without chunks, this one had the texture of little pieces of chewy cake. It was great.

When I return to Jr Tropical Ice Cream, I will try some new flavors. Even growing up in Miami and developing a taste for tropical fruits, I don’t think I’ve ever had guanabana, the fruit also known as soursop, despite being a popular juice and milkshake flavor at Cuban restaurants. Next time I’ll try that, and also the straight-up pineapple and coconut flavors… and also the rum raisin my co-worker raved about so much.

This is a great little place that everyone should stop into and support. And if the location on Goldenrod, just south of Colonial, isn’t convenient, there is a second location of Jr Tropical Ice Cream down in Kissimmee. It might be September now, but we all know it’s going to be hot and humid up until Thanksgiving here in Orlando. I hate the heat and humidity, but say what you will about it, it remains perfect weather to cool down and treat yourself with some ice cream.

If you feel like ice cream is too much of an indulgence and too “dangerous” or “naughty” to keep around, then don’t buy it at the supermarket to fill your freezer — just go out and treat yourself here once in a while! A trip out to an ice cream parlor, especially a locally owned one like Jr Tropical Ice Cream with so many unique flavors, will make it seem so much more special than going through a pint (or a gallon) of mass-produced, corporate ice cream without even thinking about it, while binge-watching your favorite shows at night.

And when you go, remember to ask for your ice cream in the coconut, for the truest tropical experience. Learn from my mistake, a mistake I will not be making a second time!