Salads – The Saboscrivner

Tuun (at Sea Thai)

Tuun (https://www.instagram.com/tuunorlando/) is essentially a restaurant operating within a restaurant, at Sea Thai (https://seathaiorlando.com/), located at 3812 E Colonial Dr, Orlando, FL 32803. Sea Thai has been in that location near the Fashion Square Mall and Orlando’s Milk District neighborhood since 2007), so it was still new in the early days of my old job, when I had lunch there a few times. I don’t know why I never worked it into my regular rotation, because it was always solid.

But I had been dying to get back over there to try the special menu offered at Tuun, coming out of the same kitchen as all of Sea Thai’s regular dishes. It’s the brainchild of Chef Jack Jone Tawa Chavitranurak, the brother of the owner of Sea Thai. He started Tuun in 2020, so it took far too many years to finally try it, but better later than never.

We got together with a super-cool couple for dinner (literally the coolest people we know), and it was the first time we’ve ever had a chance to sit and eat and chat, all four of us. You see, I would run into them on the rare times I go anywhere cool or do anything fun in Orlando, first meeting them at a Kyle Kinane show at The Abbey in Thornton Park, then at Neko Case at the Beacham in downtown Orlando, then at J.G. Thirlwell at the Timucua White House, and I saw him flying solo at a Surfragettes show at Will’s Pub and a couple of comic conventions. We’ve also had lunch at Black Bean Deli and Isan Zaap Thai Cafe before. I’d always come home raving about how cool they are, and my wife finally met this mythical couple when we all saw Fred Armisen perform at The Abbey last year. We’ve been wanting to hang out with them in a place we could talk and hear each other ever since, and we finally made it happen at Sea Thai!

Our friends ordered these spring rolls off the regular Sea Thai menu to start with. They are filled with glass noodles and mixed vegetables, fried in their tightly rolled wrappers until crispy, and served with plum sauce for dipping.

And here is a shot of the Tuun menu, since it isn’t on the Sea Thai website, and there isn’t a Tuun website:

This is the watermelon salad, two round watermelon slices topped with lemongrass, kaffir lime leaves, fried shallots, and chili watermelon dressing. Both couples ordered a watermelon salad to share, and I think everyone liked it a lot. My wife enjoyed it even more than I.

This was the roti, a crispy, crackly fried savory pastry topped with boneless beef short rib curry, chili oil, kaffir lime, and fried shallots. It felt so much more delicate than the flaky, buttery roti canai that everyone always orders at Hawkers Asian Street Fare. I’m not convinced the roti at Hawkers isn’t a frozen version, since I’ve bought very similar ones at Asian and Indian markets around Orlando. But there is nothing like this roti anywhere, I promise you that!My wife has really been expanding her palate since some surviving some medical issues earlier this summer, and she loves trying new foods more than ever before, which is a joy to watch. She was undaunted by the short rib curry, something she never would have messed with before, but it wasn’t spicy, just flavorful.

The roti was served with cool, crisp cucumbers and some thin-sliced red onions pickled in sweet vinegar. As a fan of so many things pickled and vinegary, I just loved this. It worked well for cutting the salty, fatty, spicy qualities of the other dishes.

My wife is always an octopus lover, and she chose this beautiful, lightly grilled octopus tentacle, served with mango salad, fried shallots, cashews, and garlic lime dressing.

I ordered the Tuun noodles, assuming we would split them, but she didn’t really want any. They were very similar to drunken noodles, also known as pad kee mao or pad kee mow, one of my all-time favorite Thai dishes, and these were served with spicy braised beef, bell pepper, basil, and a big fried egg in the middle. They come with mushrooms too, but I asked our server to hold the mushrooms. I’m sorry I didn’t take another photo to include a view of the flat, wide noodles, but you can kinda-sorta make them out around 6:00. Funny thing, my wife and our friends thought I ordered “tuna noodles” and were surprised when I mentioned beef. I remember eating tuna noodle casserole as a kid, but these Tuun noodles are a world apart from that. Drunken noodle lovers (by which I mean lovers of drunken noodles), don’t sleep on these.

And now, seared duck confit, a dish my wife and I both loved. She’s a superfan of it now, served with more of those fried shallots and tangy-sweet tamarind sauce. I now realize it was supposed to come with fried eggs, but they left them out. We didn’t even notice at the time, but the duck legs were so rich and decadent, cooked to perfection, that we were distracted.

A few weeks later, we had to return to Sea Thai ourselves to go through that Tuun menu again and revisit some of those killer dishes. My wife started with a creamy, smoky Thai iced tea, and this time I remembered to get a picture of it.

This was very much a “greatest hits” meal, because we couldn’t stop thinking about it. I think my photo of the watermelon salad came out better this time. But she loved it so much, I let her have it all.

I think my roti photi (sorry, photo) came out better this time as well.

And the sweet, pickled cucumbers were even more delicious and refreshing this time.

She got the duck confit again, and this time they included the egg, which were jammy in the center and lightly fried.

Me being me, I had to switch it up this time, so I tried Tuun’s stir-fried soft shell crab, with tom yum powder, kaffir lime, fried garlic, and fried shallots. I always like crispy soft shell crab, especially at Thai restaurants, and I was not disappointed. The sauce had a bit of tangy sweetness, maybe also from tamarind (I think the menu was the same on this second visit, but it didn’t mention it), and I swear I tasted ginger as well.

Here’s another angle on the soft shell crab dish:

We will definitely keep returning to Sea Thai for those Tuun specialties, and next time, I might actually order some things off the regular menu. I noticed they have khao soi noodles, which I fell in love with at Thailicious in Longwood last year. But I tell ya, if you go to Sea Thai on a Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or Monday evening, you are doing yourself a disservice if you don’t sample some of the dishes off the special Tuun menu. We are huge fans now, and I can’t imagine anyone could sample these gorgeous plates and not be blown away by their presentation and perfection.

Kaya

Kaya (https://www.kayaorlando.com/) is an upscale Filipino restaurant in Mills 50, Orlando’s best foodie neighborhood. It is owned and operated by Chef Lordfer Lalicon and General Manager Jamilyn Salonga Bailey, who first made names for themselves with Kappo in Orlando’s East End Market food hall, then launched their award-winning omakase sushi restaurant Kadence. I have not been lucky enough to go to either yet, but I’ve been aware of them for the longest time, and they seem like incredibly nice, hard-working, talented people who deserve all their accolades and local love. Kaya first opened in 2022, and while I’ve been wanting to try it ever since, I finally made it there for the first time a few weeks ago. Better late than never, because I had an unforgettable experience that I’ve been replaying in my head ever since.

I was actually meeting a friend for dinner on a rare weeknight I was off work: someone I also consider a mentor and a role model, Amy Drew Thompson, the food writer for the Orlando Sentinel. This was my second time meeting Amy Drew in real life, and she is a delightful person who is so nice, so knowledgeable, and an amazing writer. Kaya is one of her favorite local restaurants, and I was thrilled she was willing and able to meet me there. Of course everyone at Kaya knew her, because she does so much for Orlando’s local food scene. Jami came by to check on us a few times, and even Chef Lalicon (who everyone calls “Chef Lo”) popped out of the kitchen. We sat at the bar, and the two bartenders, Daniel and a nice lady whose name I’m blanking on, took wonderful care of us.

They started us out with a mocktail called Hiraya, with white peony and marigold tea, pineapple juice, and lime juice, sprinkled with Sichuan peppercorns. It was so refreshing! It started with the unmistakable sweet taste of pineapple, but that quickly faded to something more botanical. I’ve never tasted anything like those tea flavors, but it tasted like my wife’s shampoo smells (in a good way).

The first dish to come out was Lumpiang Shanghai, an order of three very long, very crispy spring rolls, stuffed with seasoned pork and chicken and served with hibiscus sweet chili sauce. I knew these as lumpia, and I’ve had them before (including when a very sweet student made them and brought me some, years ago), but with all due respect to her, I’ve never had anything close to these. They set the tone for a multi-course meal where each dish was the most interesting thing I had ever tasted, until the next one came along and supplanted it.

Kinilaw is a raw fish-based dish somewhat reminiscent of ceviche in Latin American countries, except where ceviche uses citrus juices to “cook” the fish, kinilaw utilizes vinegar for a similar purpose. This gorgeous kinilaw incorporated madai, the Japanese word for red sea bream, a whole new fish I had never tasted before (although some of my research tells me the term is used interchangeably with red snapper, usually when it’s served as sushi). Delicate raw slices of the madai were served with peaches, paper-thin slices of crunchy radish, coconut, and chili flakes, all arranged artfully on separate little crispy islands of puffed rice. You can see five little radish slices, each one topping a piece of the madai, and there’s puffed rice under each one. You would scoop up the whole little stack, and it is a perfect bite of food with so many textures and flavors. Chef Lo used pinakurat, which is a spiced coconut vinegar (made from coconut sap). I’ve bought the Suka Pinakurat brand before, at Orlando’s many Asian markets, since I love experimenting with different vinegars almost as much as I love mustards, but I never dreamed anyone could use it to create a dish on this level of complexity and beauty.

This beautiful dish was Bicol Express mussels, served in a broth of coconut cream, Thai chilis, shallot, garlic, and bagoong, served with thick slices of pandesal toast for dipping in the rich broth. I love mussels in any form, and this dish was the most unique way I’ve ever eaten them. Bicol Express is a Filipino dish traditionally made with cubes of pork, rather than one of the best bivalves.

Bagoong, by the way, is a Filipino condiment made of fermented shrimp or krill cured in salt, which makes a salty, savory, umami flavor. It sounds intense and funky, but I didn’t notice anything intense or funky standing out to distract from the mussels or their creamy, spicy, coconutty broth. But I like intense and funky! (I’ve been told that I AM intense and funky!)

I wrote about pandesal, literally “bread of salt,” when I reviewed the Filipino-American fusion bakery-cafe The Baker’s Son in Kissimmee, this past December. It is some of the most delicious bread I’ve ever tasted, similar to buttery brioche, Japanese milk bread, and French pain de mie, sharing their subtle sweetness. As I’ve gotten older, and especially as I’ve cut way back on carbs, sometimes I just really appreciate good toast, and this pandesal toast was no joke, especially when used to sop up the broth and flex a couple of mussels.

This was Ningang’s rigatoni, a take on the Filipino style of spaghetti, which is traditionally served with cut-up hot dogs and Spam in a sweet tomato sauce. On my one trip to the Filipino fried chicken chain Jollibee, I was most excited to try a side order of that spaghetti, but I didn’t think it was anything special. Kaya’s menu describes their version of the dish as “Filipino beef Bolognese, Spam, aged gouda, a touch of sweetness, a lot of love.” You can taste the love in it, along with in everything else Chef Lo makes. I love a good pasta dish, especially a meat sauce, and I really loved this rigatoni. I would have a hard time returning to Kaya and not ordering this every time (among other things, natch).

I’ve written often about how one of my favorite meats is oxtail, whether it’s in Jamaican or Trinidadian cuisine, American soul food, or even in a steaming bowl of Vietnamese pho. I was curious about trying Kaya’s oxtail kare kare, served in a rich peanut sauce with eggplant, bok choy, and a little dipping bowl of bagoong (in the top right, so you can see it by itself), but I’ve never tried or even seen oxtail like this. Usually eating it is a messy affair, as you’re holding the irregularly shaped bone segments and chewing the tender meat and unctuous fat off them, and the bones are slippery enough that they can slip right out of your hands and go flying. If my dad ever dared to eat oxtail, he would probably add it to his list of foods to not eat on a date, including most other hand-held meat with bones, and anything you have to “fight with” too much — crab legs that need to be cracked, shrimp that need to be shelled, and so forth. But Chef Lo deboned all that rich meat and pressed it into a brick, then seared the outside to crispy perfection. It was not only delicious and not only gorgeous, like everything else we were experiencing at Kaya, but he made it EASY.The oxtail kare kare was served with a side of buttery garlic rice called sinangag, which you must order separately (for $5) if your entree doesn’t come with it.

Because I was dining with a culinary luminary, Jami and Chef Lo sent us out these gambas: huge Cape Canaveral white shrimp, served with the heads on as well as the tails, in rich garlic butter, kalamansi verde, and preserved lemon. Now these were messy, but what a festival of flavors and textures and colors!
Kalamansi (sometimes called calamansi or calamondin) is a small, round citrus fruit, a hybrid of a kumquat and a Mandarin orange, and their juice is used in a lot of Filipino recipes. Ripe ones are orange, but because the ones used in this recipe were kalamansi verde (green), they added sour notes because they weren’t ripe yet, perfectly balancing the richness of the garlic butter. My wife says I love sour and tangy flavors more than anyone she’s ever met, which is one big reason I’m so crazy about Filipino cuisine. (I also jokingly call myself the “acidic Jew” because of this.) I have enjoyed kalamansi juice in cool, refreshing beverages before, including from the aforementioned The Baker’s Son (not that different from lemonade or limeade), and after a dear friend with a green thumb hooked me up with kalamansi from her own garden, I squeezed enough juice out of them to make my favorite dessert ever, a variation of Atlantic Beach pie. (If you’re curious, drop me a line, sweet-toothed Saboscrivnerinos!)

Speaking of dessert, we were about to be blown away by the creativity of Kaya’s talented pastry chef, Chef Clarice Lam. This was her Silvana Alaska, based on beloved Filipino cookies called Silvanas: two cashew-meringue wafers with a layer of buttercream between them, coated with cookie crumbs. Chef Lam’s show-stopper was a gluten-free dessert with cashew meringue, ube French buttercream, blueberry compote, a dome-like layer of toasted Swiss meringue (hence the “Alaska” part, like the classic old-timey dessert baked Alaska), tiny cubes of blueberry jellies, and surrounded by a sweet, creamy moat of ube crème anglaise.By the way, ube is a purple yam that is definitely having a moment, being used in all kinds of desserts. My wife loves the ube soft serve ice cream at Sampaguita Filipino Ice Cream, mere moments away from Kaya, but I’ve never had a dessert of this level of complexity, with or without ube.

Once we split into the meringue dome, this is what the Silvana Alaska looked like inside. (I think my photo looks like a big fish opening its mouth, with the blueberry jelly cube as its eye, but that was not my intention.)

I am so proud of my wife, who has been trying all kinds of new foods lately. Even though she wasn’t with us at this dinner (arguably having even more fun than we were, seeing her beloved Tori Amos in concert), I selected another tempting dish to bring home for her to enjoy later. We both love squid ink pasta (I call it “Goth pasta”), and this was Kaya’s squid ink pancit: house-made spaghetti noodles topped with calamari rings, adobo sauce, black garlic aioli, and pandesal bread crumble. It was magnificent. We both sampled it later that night, after I picked her up from the concert, and she got two more whole portions out of it the next day.

Folks, I cannot stress how awe-inspiring this meal was. I rarely go out to dinner because of my odd work schedule, but if Kaya was open for lunch (it isn’t), I’m sure I would have tried it years ago. Instead, I’m late to the party, but this was, without a doubt, the absolute #1 best meal I’ve ever eaten in my 22 years in Orlando, and in the Top Five meals of my entire life.

I can tell you three of the others right now:

- Babbo in NYC for our honeymoon in 2009, before we knew what a shit Mario Batali was,
- Chef Michael Solomonov’s elevated Ashkenazi Jewish restaurant Abe Fisher in Philadelphia in 2023, which closed not long after our visit up there to see Le Tigre, so I never got around to writing about it, and
- Chef Marcus Samuelsson’s Red Rooster Overtown in Miami, before seeing De La Soul in 2025.

But I was wowed by every part of the Kaya experience: not just the once-in-a-lifetime dishes my friend/mentor and I shared, but the professionalism of our bartender-servers, Jami’s warmth and kindness, the decor, the unbridled creativity of Chef Lo and Chef Lam, and the way the whole place — the whole experience — feels like a labor of love and a way of sharing a cuisine and a culture that too many Americans have yet to experience. The website lists Kaya’s values with their names in Tagalog, and I really needed to share these, because you don’t see restaurants with a mission statement all that often, and they really exemplify all these beautiful, noble, lofty ideals:

- Pamilya: We treat our team and guests like family. We practice radical hospitality so that our guests feel a sense of belonging and ease. We create space to be present for our families.
- Kapwa + Bayanihan: We care deeply about community. We treat one another with love, look out for each other, and lift one another up. We build a model that allows us to be full, whole humans in right relationship with one another.
- Utang Na Loob: We respect and honor our community, elders, and ancestors, as well as the land and its resources. We take a no/low-waste, sustainable approach, and we celebrate the beauty and richness of our heritage.
- Mapanlikha: We move from a place of possibility, learning from the past and our experiences while actively creating our vision for the future. We pay close attention to how we can constantly improve while shaping the narrative of what’s possible.

Nothing about this epic experience was “mid” or forgettable, nor was it snooty or snobby or inaccessible. Nobody was going through the motions. Even with my own hang-ups about fine dining (that it isn’t meant for people like me), I never felt like an impostor or a sellout or a disappointment to my parents. It was a close to perfect as a meal could be, and I had a blast! Kaya has clearly earned its Michelin Green star for sustainability, and deserves to be in that rarified pantheon of top restaurants in Orlando, if not all of Florida, but I feel like it deserves a regular star as well, if not two. By the way, according to the website, “kaya” means capable in Tagalog, and “kaya natin” means we can. They are beyond capable, and not only can they, but they do.

And as much as I hoped to return to Kaya sooner rather than later, I surprised myself by returning just a few weeks later — yesterday, in fact! But it wasn’t for another dinner, not this time. Instead, Executive Pastry Chef Clarice Lam hosts an event called Kapé Kaya, a daytime bakery concept featuring her awe-inspiring pastries, every Saturday, from 9:30 AM until 12 PM. I’ve seen pictures of her past creations, but this was a rare treat: the second of three Kapé Kaya events where she teams up with another local restaurant hero: Chef Tyler Brunache of SmokeMade Meats + Eats, my favorite barbecue restaurant in Orlando that won Michelin Bib Gourmand awards for “good quality, good value cooking” in 2025 and 2026.

This was like when Jack White teamed up with Norah Jones… or when Jack White teamed up with Alison Mosshart from The Kills… or when Jack White teamed up with Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest! Or maybe like the too-rare team-ups between Daredevil and Captain America, a pairing that makes all the sense in the world even though you don’t automatically think of them as obvious partners. I had to be there, so I arrived around 8:45 AM, and there were already about 30 people ahead of me, waiting in line outside Kaya. The heat and humidity didn’t get too bad until around 9:30, but they moved things along pretty well inside. In the meantime, we studied the menu:

Jami came outside to announce when they were finally opening up, and I couldn’t believe she recognized me after meeting me once, a few weeks ago. (I was also somewhat incognito, wearing sunglasses and my “I Love Research” bucket hat under the baking morning sun, looking like the nerdiest rapper ever, and she still recognized me and gave me a hug.) When I finally got in, they had all the gorgeous pastries on display on the bar, with labels and prices. You order and pay up front, then wait for the staff to assemble your order in large pink bakery boxes.

I thanked Chef Lam on the way out the door, and even though I had considered doing it, I refrained from doing my Anthony Hopkins-as-Hannibal Lecter impression, greeting her with “Hello, Clarice.” She’s probably heard it before, and Mads Mikkelsen was the better Hannibal Lecter anyway, by far. (I said what I said.) I was on my way by 10:15, leaving me enough time to make it to donate blood in Altamonte Springs by my 11 AM appointment time. As usual, I brought a cooler with me to keep my Kapé Kaya treats safe and cool in this awful summer heat.

Back at home, this is a close-up of my brisket bear claw, which had buttery, flaky layers like the best croissant you’ve ever had.

This was the longganisa sausage bun, and keep in mind this was all one interconnected thing! I’ve been lucky enough to catch Chef Tyler’s longganisa sausage as a weekend special at SmokeMade, and I love how sweet and savory it is. All his house-made sausages have a perfect crispy natural casing, and Chef Lam’s dough was kind of like a savory danish pastry, not flaky and layered like the bear claw.

I love macaroni salad and always enjoy the slightly sweet taste of surimi (imitation “krab”) in sushi and poke, so I couldn’t resist the krab macaroni salad puff pastry tart. It was so refreshing, especially compared to the other two heavier pastries, and the tart shell was flaky and light.

Here they are on a plate, so you can see a cross-section of the brisket bear claw with all those laminated dough layers and smoked brisket, gouda cheese, pickles, and barbecue sauce inside. Upon tearing into it, it reminded me of a cross between a croissant and the Cuban pastelitos I grew up eating in Miami, sometimes stuffed with seasoned ground beef called picadillo.

And here are my sweet choices. One the left, I got the mango coconut croissant bibingka, because I thought it was something my wife and I would both like, whereas I figured the savory pastries above would be all mine. This thing was so dense and rich, we’re both slowly working our way through it over 36 hours later, a bite or two at a time. Like so many other Filipino dishes, bibingka is new to me, so I looked it up. Serious Eats never lets me down: it is a “coconut-flavored, banana-leaf scented rice cake topped with caramelized coconut strips.” However, not having had prior bibingka experience, I would have guessed it was more like a bread pudding, since that’s what the texture and consistency felt like to me. I loved the mango puree on top. It was so good, but a little goes a long way.The same could be said for Chef Lam’s “thick’em cookie,” the one thing my wife actually requested. This is a huge cookie, even bigger than the ones from Gideon’s Bakehouse. The edges were crispy, but the rest was soft and yielding, which I always prefer in my cookies. There were chocolate chunks, corn flakes, and some fancy salt crystals sprinkled on top. My wife was in heaven, and she has also been nibbling away at the cookie because you can’t just devour it. This plate was surprisingly heavy with both of these on it.

So that was my amazing Kapé Kaya experience, just weeks after my first dinner at Kaya. I am posting this NOW because there is one more scheduled Kapé Kaya crossover with SmokeMade Meats and Eats, and that is next Saturday morning, August 1st. I’ll probably be seeing the next Spider-Man movie before the Internet can spoil it all for me, but all my dozens of readers should do whatever it takes to be at Kaya before the line gets too long and the heat gets too unbearable. Spider-Man is supposed to team up with the Hulk and the Punisher, but the best team-up in Orlando is going to be happening right at Kaya, and you don’t want to miss it!

Bachour (Coral Gables)

Bachour (https://antoniobachour.com/) is a beloved bakery-cafe-restaurant in Coral Gables, a historic and tony area of Miami. I was down that way back in May, visiting my family in Kendall for the first time in far too long. I also spent some quality time with my best friend (going back to elementary school) and his amazing girl, taking advantage of their generous hospitality and visiting parts of Miami I never ventured out to when I grew up down there. The last day I was in town, we had brunch at Bachour, and his mom — who just happened to be my first-grade teacher! — joined us. We had a great time, despite getting rained on while we ate in a semi-covered outdoor alcove. The food, which combined French and Latin influences, was magnificent.

Founded by Puerto Rican-born Chef Antonio Bachour, Bachour is known for gorgeous pastries, arranged artfully in glass display cases:

We started out with an order of arepa fritters, one perfect crispy fried sphere for each of us, stuffed with cotija cheese and held in place with avocado puree underneath.

We also got an order of tequeños, small pastries made of long, flat strips of dough wrapped around salty queso blanco and baked or fried. (These were fried.) They were served with cilantro garlic aioli dipping sauce, which was so good, I kept it for whatever was coming next.

This stunning swirled pastry is Bachour’s version of a cinnamon roll. Look at those crispy, light, flaky layers of laminated dough. It was a work of art.

My boy’s mom ordered this creme brulee French toast with vanilla custard and mascarpone creme as her entree, even though that’s a dessert in my book.

His lovely ladyfriend got this breakfast sandwich with scrambled eggs, applewood smoked bacon, aged cheddar, truffle butter, and arugula (it’s a veg-EH-ta-ble) on a soft brioche bun.

She also ordered a side of crispy home fries with it.

My friend got the Bachour crispy chicken sandwich, with butter lettuce and creamy, crispy slaw on a brioche bun, and he said it was one of the best chicken sandwiches he’s ever had. He chose fries as his side instead of a salad, which makes me think of John Mulaney’s routine about ordering a chicken sandwich and choosing between the two most different foods in the universe.

And as for me, your friend and humble narrator, one of those foods that always tempts and tantalizes me is smoked salmon, so I got something I normally never order anywhere, a club sandwich (a triple-decker sandwich with bacon, lettuce, tomato, and mayonnaise on white toast) with smoked salmon and a bit of avocado added in. Club sandwiches often slide apart, or the toasted bread crumbles under the architecturally unsound structure of its fillings, but I am a grown man, and I promise you I did my best.
Even though I really have been trying to eat healthier, I kept the server from removing that delicious cilantro garlic aioli from earlier, so I ordered fries instead of a salad too, figuring I would share them with everyone else at the table to assuage my guilty conscience (another Mulaney bit).

I brought home two croissants for my wife. This one was pistachio:

And this one was almond. She loved both, but I don’t think she mentioned a favorite between them.

All in all, it was a nice visit back home, and a highlight of the trip was this wonderful brunch shared with some of the best people I know. I had heard of Bachour before, but just like 90% of places I hear about in Miami, I never thought I would actually go there. Well, on this recent trip down, I scratched a few of those semi-mythical spots off my list. This was a great meal, and the company couldn’t be beat.

Canter’s Deli (Los Angeles)

Canter’s Deli (https://www.cantersdeli.com/) is a legendary Los Angeles delicatessen, a Hollywood hotspot that has been in business since 1931 and in the same location at 419 North Fairfax Avenue since 1953. The decor is pure 1950s-style Art Deco, which I associate fondly with Los Angeles delis and diners, and with the City of Angels in general. I wish everyplace was decorated this way, including my own home. Like so many other timeless restaurants I’ve enjoyed in L.A. like Langer’s Deli, Philippe the Original, HMS Bounty, The Prince, Bob’s Big Boy, and Pann’s, Canter’s retains all its old-school cool as it approaches its hundredth anniversary. I regret not taking any photos of the interior, but I was a little distracted on my one and only visit.

I visited Canter’s on my second work trip to L.A., where I met an Internet friend for the first time after knowing him online for over 25 years, along with his lovely and talented wife, who many of you may recognize.

These free pickles were delivered to the table, as any good deli should do, and they were great.

Instead of a soda or egg cream, I ordered this chocolate phosphate, kind of like a creamy chocolate soda — so not really that different from an egg cream. I just thought it would be nice to try, like an old-timey soda fountain favorite that you never see on menus anymore. Now that “dirty sodas” are a whole thing, I wish people were willing to go more retro and bring back the whole soda fountain concept. With all the jerks out there, maybe some of them could find work as soda jerks.

My friend’s wife is an actress you would have seen if you watched the first season of The Pitt, the wonderful HBO Max hospital drama that was my favorite show of 2025. She ordered a lox benedict, a classic brunch dish with a toasted English muffin topped with salty, smoky salmon, poached eggs and velvety, creamy hollandaise sauce. I didn’t try any, but it looked like a perfect version of eggs benedict. Personally, I never order benedicts at restaurants, but sometimes I make them in my own kitchen because there is no place like home for the hollandaise. At the top, she chose potato pancakes (also known as latkes) for her potato side. They are usually served with sour cream, applesauce, or in this case, both. I always recommend both.

Los Angeles is a big pastrami city, between its historic delis like Langer’s and Canter’s as well as the pastrami French dip, a more localized sandwich that hasn’t spread out of the city. (I tried one of those at a “deli-adjacent” spot more recently, and I will get around to reviewing it eventually.) Local fast food joints like Original Tommy’s and The Hat even load up burgers and hot dogs with pastrami. Somebody call Randy Newman, because I too love L.A.!

My friend, an accomplished film critic, ordered this terrific-looking pastrami Reuben sandwich with grilled pastrami (my preferred alternative to the traditional corned beef), Swiss cheese, sauerkraut, and Russian dressing on rye bread grilled to perfection. It looked perfect, and so did the fries.

I got the Canter’s Fairfax sandwich, with generous portions of corned beef AND pastrami on rye. Just like I did at Sarge’s in NYC and Attman’s in Baltimore, when I visit a deli in a faraway city, I usually order combination sandwiches that allow me to sample as many different tastes as possible. They loaded up the sandwich higher than the pastrami sandwiches (plural!) I tried at Langer’s, but I give Langer’s the edge for the exquisite quality of their thicker, hand-sliced pastrami. Not that this was bad, by any means. It was terrific! That’s potato salad in the background — the Canter’s Fairfax comes with a choice of that or cole slaw. The good conversation distracted me, because for a mere dollar more, I could have ordered the Fresser, an identical sandwich that would have come with potato salad AND cole slaw. Oh well! At least the potato salad was excellent.

Because I’m me, I had to RING THE ALARM and try onion rings while I was at Canter’s, and I’m so glad I did. These are some of the most perfect onion rings I’ve ever had in my life. There’s something about Jewish delis just nailing the batter, the frying process, and onion rings in general. Junior’s and Sarge’s Deli in New York City both serve a very similar style. They all share rich, thick batter that holds up and doesn’t separate from the onions, and they are the perfect light, crunchy consistency that never has any burnt spots.
Yup, those are my Top Three onion rings of all time (and no others even come close): Sarge’s, Junior’s, and Canter’s. I’ve never had any quite like them here in Florida. I guess Jewish delis in major metropolitan cultural centers are the lords of the rings.

I can’t imagine how many famous, talented people have hung out at Canter’s Deli over the past 95 years, although the website drops a few dozen names. (I loved Guns ‘n’ Roses back in 8th and 9th grades, and I know they hung out at Canter’s all the time back in the late ’80s.) It is staggering to think how many genius ideas were born there, how many deals were struck there that helped shape our culture, and how many delicious deli dishes were devoured during those acts of creation and negotiation. We certainly enjoyed the heck out everything we tried. Even though there are other delis I have yet to discover in L.A., I would totally return to Canter’s on a future visit. Whenever I do, what should I try next time? I’m thinking some kind of smoked fish, but it would be hard to turn down those top-tier onion rings again.

Talay

Talay (https://www.talayorlando.com/) is one of the newer and more upscale Thai restaurants in Orlando, located in the “North Quarter” on 861 Orange Avenue, right before you cross East Colonial Drive into downtown Orlando. I took my wife there for lunch a few weeks ago, and we had a nice meal in the spacious dining room, which was surprisingly empty. I’m sure it gets crazy crowded later on, though. Everything is light wood and creamy colors, making the space feel modern and elegant. There are some booths inside, and there is even more seating outside, on an inviting covered patio.

As usual, my wife started her with a creamy and refreshing Thai iced tea:

We ordered four different things, intending to share most of them and end up with leftovers. A few were relatively small portions, so it all worked out.

This was salmon chae nam pla, an appetizer with thin slices of raw salmon (each garnished by a paper-thin slice of pickled garlic), two little clusters of salmon roe, and mint leaves, all displayed on a sea of spicy cilantro chili-lime dressing. The dressing was too spicy for my wife, so I ended up eating most of these. I must be part bear (I definitely look like a bear), because I never tire of devouring raw salmon.

We also shared goong ob woon sen, a dish neither of us had ever tried before, or even noticed on any other Thai menus before. It included plump shrimp served with their tails on, glass noodles (traditionally made from mung bean or sweet potato starch, which turn translucent), thin slices of bacon, black pepper, sesame oil, celery, ginger, “Talay’s signature wok sauce,” and cilantro chili relish served on the side. Those leaves in the middle are a tiny celery stick garnish sticking out.

You wanted a noodle pull? Well here’s a noodle pull! This was a good dish, and the noodles had a nice chew to them. I didn’t pick this one, and I didn’t know what to expect (other than “bacon is always good”), but it all came together.

I finally got my wife into my favorite Thai dish that I used to order all the time as a benchmark of any new Thai restaurant, pad kee mao (sometimes spelled pad kee mow, and also known as drunken noodles). As long as she orders it mild, she loves it as much as she loves her old go-to, pad Thai. This was Talay’s pad kee mao, a stir-fried sensation with flat rice noodles (always so nice and chewy), green and red bell peppers, Thai basil, chili, and Talay’s spicy wok sauce, which they surely toned down for her. She chose crispy duck as the protein (for a small upcharge), and the duck was wonderful — tender, juicy, battered and fried to perfection. We are both big duck fans.

And as for me, I panicked. So many things sounded good, and I know for a fact I won’t make it back to this spot very often. Instead of going with a familiar favorite, I wanted to try something more unique off Talay’s Signature menu, since they have so many elevated dishes you can’t find just anywhere. I decided to go with something I always love on any menu, whether it’s a seafood shack or a Thai restaurant, soft shell crab. This was pu nim tod kra tiam, crispy soft-shell crab served with garlic, pepper, and a savory brown sauce. It ended up being a new twist on an old classic, and it was much less heavy than it looks here.

It came with white rice on the side, which I mixed in to gather all the sauce under the crab, and I asked to try the roasted chili relish, which costs $3 extra. All I got was the little ramekin on the right, and it was interesting. It definitely had some sweetness and funky umami, maybe from fish sauce.

Due to the location, I don’t expect we will become regulars at Talay, especially since I bring home takeout much more often than we dine out. But Talay is definitely one of the nicer Thai restaurants in Orlando, and it would be a fantastic place for a date or a big night out. It reminded me of Lim Ros Thai Cuisine that way, another Thai restaurant that is a little more elegant and elevated than usual. Both feature lush, sexy vibes, rather than the “hominess” of the more old-school Thai restaurants we honestly end up at more often (like Thailicious in Longwood). But I can’t say anything bad about either of them, and if you already know Talay, I’m sure you can’t think of anything negative about it either. If I ever do make it back, what should I order next time? I’m always happy to try anything new!

Chayhana

Chayhana (https://chayhanaorlando.com/) is an Uzbek restaurant that serves authentic Uzbek and Central Asian food, all of which is halal. It is located at 851 State Road 436, #1027, Altamonte Springs, FL 32714, in the long plaza at the intersection of State Roads 436 (Semoran Boulevard) and 434. I’ve had Uzbek food before, at Caravan Uzbek & Turkish Cuisine, but that’s all the way across town from me, in an area I never go. I was excited to finally try Chayhana, which is a lot closer. I’ve brought takeout home twice now, and it was great both times.

My wife is the biggest hummus aficionado I know. She loves hummus to the point where I wonder if I should be jealous of hummus. (With all honesty, I am very secure in our marriage, and I am always glad when she enjoys anything.) Not long after we both discovered the greatness of The Hummus Guy food truck in Maitland earlier this year, we realized Chayhana’s hummus was very different, but also terrific. They sprinkle theirs with some light seasoning, drizzle on olive oil, and top it with a few chick peas. And if I may, what’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? The president has never paid to watch a Russian garbanzo bean. Hey-o!

The hummus came with these warm, lightly grilled pita wedges for spreading or dipping. I consider myself a bit of a pita connoisseur, since there are good and bad kinds, and this is the good kind that gyros are often served on. You can buy the Kontos brand of this kind of pita at some places, like the halal Indian market Apna Bazaar, with locations on South Orange Blossom Trail and on 434 in Longwood.

My wife also loves kasha, or buckwheat (o-tay!), a nutty and earthy grain that is toasted and then boiled until tender, kind of like couscous. I ordered her this grechka, which is warm buckwheat, sprinkled with parsley.

I ordered this pumpkin manty with her in mind. Manty are filled dumplings with a soft, thin, chewy, handmade dough wrapper, kind of like Chinese wontons, Italian ravioli, or Polish pierogi. These manty were much larger than any wontons, ravioli, or pierogi I’ve ever seen, though. And yes, they were stuffed with seasoned pumpkin, onions, and spices for a delicious dish vegetarians would love. Actually, anyone would love these. I thought they might be a bit bland, but they were anything but. And look at the pattern on the outside. They didn’t have to make them look that beautiful, but someone went to the trouble of doing that to all the manty!

This dish is Chayhana’s best-seller, and you can see why. It is plov, a dish of fragrant, buttery fried rice cooked with halal-certified beef and lamb, carrots, onions, scallions, a hard-boiled quail egg, and pomegranate arils. It is gorgeous, isn’t it? It looks like Christmas, with the parsley, scallions, and shiny red pomegranate arils sparkling on top. It’s delicious, too. I preferred it to the similar rice dish at Caravan called to’y osh.I mentioned this in my recent review of Gateway to India, but plov shares its etymology with a more familiar rice dish, pilaf (always so good and buttery from Turkish restaurants like Bosphorous and Istanbul Grill), and they both evolved from Persian pilau, along with Indian biryani, another beloved rice dish. I love that so much.

But that’s not all! I had to try the boso laghman, a dish of hand-pulled wheat noodles, halal beef, thin strips of an egg omelet, sauteed onions and bell peppers, and sprinkled with parsley and sesame seeds, all sauteed together in a savory sauce. Those are the omelet strips on top, not the noodles.

Here are the noodles, and they were so nice and chewy and al dente. The sauce gave everything the slightest smoky flavor. I also ordered laghman at Caravan, and while it was very good, I once again give the edge to Chayhana. I’ve mentioned in a few different reviews that the term laghman was derived from the Chinese lamian (like the wonderful, chewy noodles I reviewed earlier this year at SLAP! Hand Ripped Noodles), and that’s how we also got the Chinese lo mein and the Japanese ramen.

Here is my plate. What a bounty! And now you can get a good look at how gorgeous the dough sculpting on that manty was.

After reading the menu, my wife asked me to bring her pistachio cake, which I was happy to do. But when I got there, they had two different pistachio desserts, and I wasn’t sure which one she wanted, so I brought both home. That’s the kind of husband I am.

This dome-shaped dessert was the pistachio cupala, which Chayhana imports from a Michelin-starred bakery in Turkey. I didn’t have any (I’m avoiding sweets, and this didn’t look like my thing anyway), but she seemed to like it.

She preferred this Antep dream cake (topped with finely crushed pistachios above that rich, creamy layer of chocolate). It was not listed on the website, but it was available when I went in. I think it looks more appetizing, personally:

Everything was such a treat, I returned a few weeks later for another round of takeout.

The hummus wasn’t sprinkled with that seasoning or adorned with extra chick peas the second time, but she still liked it a lot:

The plov was still wonderful:

SinceI feel like I ran amok with carbs on our first takeout trip, I resolved to eat a little healthier the second time around. This was the chicken shish, served in small chunks rather than one long skewer so it could fit in a small takeout box. I could tell the chicken was marinated in herbs and spices and grilled, but I most admit, the picture on the website made it look better with the nice caramelization from grilling. I don’t think it lived up to the “golden and smoky” description from the menu. It was chicken breast meat, which is certainly healthier (and it’s what I cook and eat at home all the time now), but I think thigh meat is always more flavorful and feels like more of a treat.

I preferred the lulya kebab, made of seasoned halal ground lamb and beef that was skewered and grilled. This is the kind of thing I will always order at any Middle Eastern or Central Asian restaurant, kind of along the same lines as the lamb adana kebap I ordered at Istanbul Grill or the Iraqi kebab we tried at Rawsha Mediterranean Cuisine. Both kebabs were served with red onions (some raw, some grilled) over very thin flatbread.

We have yet to dine in at Chayhana, but there is a nice little dining room that looks comfortable. When I picked up my takeout orders, it was during the holy month of Ramadan, and smiling Muslim families were just starting to show up for dinners. Everyone looked so happy to be there, and hopefully I’ve communicated why. Chayhana is the very definition of a hidden gem, serving food that may be somewhat familiar, but with unique twists. It makes you think about geography, about how little we (as Americans) know about Uzbekistan and other Central Asian countries, but how their cuisine has so many similarities with Turkish and other Middle Eastern fare, and how they all evolved from shared origins. That makes our increasingly complicated world seem a little bit smaller, and hopefully gives us all a little hope that we’re not so different, you and I. And for those of us who live in the Orlando area, we are so lucky to have a diverse culinary scene that allows more than one Uzbek restaurant to survive and thrive, even in super-suburban Altamonte Springs.

Aloha Hawaiian Kitchen

I love Hawaiian food, and I had been excited to try Aloha Hawaiian Kitchen (https://alohahawaiiankitchen.com/) for a while. Aloha is down near Orlando International Airport, so I don’t see it becoming part of my regular restaurant rotation, but when I finally made it there in December, it did not disappoint. Hawaiian cuisine evolved from a combination of Native Hawaiian, Japanese, Chinese, Filipino, Korean, Portuguese, and mainland American ingredients and influences due to the diaspora, but it is very much its own thing. It is one of my favorite regional American cuisines, up there with Ashkenazi Jewish delis and appetizing stores and the grand tradition of barbecue. But while I’ve tried amazing delis in New York City, Los Angeles, and South Florida and barbecue in Texas, Memphis, and right here in Orlando, I have yet to visit Hawaii, so I take our local Hawaiian restaurants at their word.

Because I always love sampling multiple things, especially when I know I won’t be able to return to a restaurant often, I ordered the Surfside Sampler, which comes with three meats: marinated and grilled beef short ribs (kalbi), crispy marinated and fried ono shrimp, and marinated and pulled luau pig. However, I asked if I could substitute the mochiko chicken instead of the luau pork, since it is the same price when they are sold separately. They were kind enough to allow me to get that substitution. This heaping tray came with scoops of white rice and Hawaiian macaroni salad, which I am a huge fan of. It was probably more than enough calories for the full day, with more to spare. I think the Hawaiians perfected mayonnaise-based macaroni salad, which I have recreated at home. The secret, which I found in a few different recipes, is to let slightly underdone macaroni noodles absorb a lot of milk, and then stir in your mayo. (They recommend Best Foods, which I think is the same stuff sold as Hellman’s in the eastern U.S., but I’m a Duke’s man.)

I first tried mochiko chicken at the first Hawaiian restaurant I ever visited, a place called Hawaiian Grindz that used to be on State Road 434 in Oviedo. It didn’t last very long, perhaps in part because the laid-back owners didn’t always open on time… or at all, despite posted hours. But I loved the little pieces of fried chicken thighs, which were lightly breaded and then tossed in a sweet sauce. While these mochiko chicken pieces at Aloha look a bit dark, I can assure you they were fried to crispy perfection. They weren’t overly sweet, either. It was a nice blend of sweet and savory — much less sweet than the mochiko chicken at the old place that closed.

Here’s a close-up of the kalbi, those wonderful marinated and grilled Korean-style beef short ribs, cut against the bone These also had a savory-sweet marinade, and the grilling process added some great flavor from caramelizing sugar on the surface. The meat was tender, but not exactly falling apart or off the bone. Kalbi (sometimes called galbi on Korean menus) always has a pleasant chew, and you can usually tear or bite the meat near the bone and pull it right out. That area is even chewier, but the texture is nice.

Here is an extreme close-up of one of the crispy, garlicky-fried shrimp. It had such a nice flavor and crunch, and just like at my beloved Poke Hana, it is fried so well that you can eat it crunchy tail and all. Look at all that garlic!

While I wanted to try more, I limited myself to a Spam musubi, which I enjoyed later, back at home. These are the ultimate in simple comfort food: a slice of fried Spam (which is actually delicious, snobs and skeptics!) on a bed of sushi rice, rolled tightly in a sheet of nori (seaweed, the same stuff in sushi rolls), and often served warm. I’ve seen these musubi referred to as “Hawaiian protein bars,” and they do have just enough protein and carbs to give you a burst of energy when you need it.

By the way, Spam is a product of Minnesota, but it became closely associated with Hawaiian cuisine when the U.S. military used it to feed troops stationed in Hawaii in the 1940s. That’s how it found its way into saimin (a Hawaiian take on ramen), Spam fried rice, and of course, the musubi.

We are lucky to have a few wonderful Hawaiian restaurants to choose from in Orlando, including the aforementioned Poke Hana, OverRice, the new Moa Kai Hawaiian Diner, and Hanalei Shave Ice for a cool, refreshing dessert. Aloha Hawaiian Kitchen is in great company. Sadly, Aloha is much further away from me, but even though I don’t foresee going back as often, it was very good, and I’m so glad I tried it. If you find yourself down near the airport, or coming or going from the 528 or the Lake Nona area and you don’t feel like awesome seafood at High Tide Harry’s or Orlando’s best Cuban sandwich at Vicky Bakery, check it out. Aloha features a large menu, including meat-centric combo meals like I ordered and customizable poke bowls, if you want something lighter than the smorgasbord of meats I enjoyed. Nowadays, as I continue slowly losing weight from eating less and eating healthier, I would have gotten two or even three meals out of that Surfside Sampler, but I housed it in one sitting at the time, thinking that dangerous thought of “Well, it won’t be as good heated back up later!” I’ve come a long way over these past four months.

Barkhaven

“D’ya like dags?”
“Dags?!?”
“Yeah, dags.”
“Dags!”
“Ohhhh, dogs. Yeah, I like dags.”
(Name that movie!)

Barkhaven (https://barkhaven.com/) is a combination dog park, dog grooming facility, restaurant, and bar in Orlando’s Ivanhoe Village area at 724 Brookhaven Drive, Orlando, FL 32803. To put everyone’s minds at ease, don’t worry — there are no dogs in the dining room shedding, drooling, making noise, or trying to steal people’s food. There is a separate entrance for people to bring their dogs outside to the fenced-in dog park, but there are windows to watch dogs romp and frolic while you eat inside the restaurant, or there are outside tables separated from the dog park with a fence.

Full disclosure: we don’t have a dog. I am super-allergic to them, and I am much more of a cat person (more like I’m totally obsessed with cats and want to be best friends with every cat ever). But my wife grew up with Yorkies and one wonderful Yorkie/schnauzer mix and misses them terribly. When I recently found out Barkhaven existed, I thought she would appreciate a chance to watch some dogs make with the romping and the frolicking while enjoying lunch out after a nearby hair appointment.

The restaurant and bar area is a large, wide-open space with tables and a few half-booths up against one wall. All the food is served in disposable paper bowls and plates, with plastic utensils, which is fine with me. It’s a very casual place. The menu says they don’t use any seed oils, and they do all their frying in beef tallow, so look out, vegetarians. I don’t know when seed oils became public enemy #1 or beef tallow started being considered a healthier option, but I remain skeptical. I’m seeing this sentiment so often, I expect it’s some political agenda. Unlike the wonderful smokiness that comes from frying in reserved bacon grease, I don’t think beef tallow adds any particular flavor to foods, just kind of an oppressive heaviness. Would I end up changing my mind after this lunch at Barkhaven? Read on, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos.

My wife is obsessed with hummus, especially since our recent discovery of The Hummus Guy food truck. Aside from the dogs and the proximity to her stylist, the other reason I suggested Barkhaven was because I saw they serve hummus, and I knew she would want to try it. It’s a very nontraditional hummus, though — mixed with balsamic red peppers (I loved ’em, she didn’t), topped with crushed crispy chickpeas (not sure if they were dehydrated or fried in beef tallow?) and paprika, and served with thick-sliced cucumbers and pita chips (definitely fried in beef tallow, maybe a moment too long).

She usually likes wings, and I’ve been thinking a lot about delicious Korean-style crispy chicken wings recently. As a result, we were both intrigued by the honey mustard crunch wings, glazed with fermented honey mustard, sprinkled with green onions, and drizzled with scratch-made ranch dressing. These were meaty wings, not those tiny, sad sports bar wings I hate, but they were a little dry. The wings were suitably crispy without being breaded (there’s that beef tallow again), and as a mustard aficionado, I liked the honey mustard flavor that wasn’t too sweet like so many honey mustards that I call “dessert mustards.” My wife doesn’t like ranch and didn’t care for the ranch being drizzled on, so I ended up eating most of the wings in three separate servings, mostly back at home.

This was definitely the best thing I tried at Barkhaven, the arayas, also known as a Lebanese burger. Rather than a traditional burger patty that might just be sprinkled with salt and possibly pepper, this beef was heavily seasoned with delicious spices, and it actually had some heat, which I enjoyed. It was stuffed into a pita and grilled to get a crispy exterior, then drizzled with garlic tahini and rosemary pineapple hot honey. It was terrific — savory, spicy, and so messy and greasy. It reminded me of a spicier, greasier, messier version of the hawawshi I enjoyed so much last summer at The Cairo Express, although that was crispier because it didn’t have any condiments or sauces on the exterior surface.
The crunchy red cabbage slaw on the side was pleasant, even though I usually prefer the creaminess of conventional cole slaw. And I didn’t realize this arayas was going to come with fries, but I’m trying to be good and avoid fries. These were pretty conventional crinkle-cut fries, despite the beef tallow, so I wasn’t terribly tempted. I dipped a few in the ranch that came with the wings and dragged a couple through whatever tahini, honey, and meat juice dripped out of the arayas, but I left most of the fries behind and only felt a little guilty about the unexpected food waste.

Even though I’ve been eating less and eating healthier (this meal being an exception), and even though I didn’t devour all the fries, I saw Barkhaven offered onion rings, so I had to try them. I try onion rings anywhere and everywhere, since I have a recurring feature on this food blog called Ring the Alarm! These were described as “Thick-cut onions dipped in a crisp, golden beer batter and fried to perfection,” but they were not the kind that I am always delighted to find in the wild, at restaurants like The Whiskey, Christo’s, Build My Burgers, bb.q Chicken, and even Culver’s. The batter on these was dry, kind of tasteless, and had several burnt, scorched spots. Maybe it was the beef tallow.

Barkhaven also serves wood oven pizzas, fish and chips, salads, a hot dog (natch), desserts that include deep-fried pound cake (I guess they have to put that beef tallow to use!), and a whole menu for dogs. When I saw the combination of “beef, pumpkin, and broccoli” on the menu, along with “frozen carrots,” I thought “those are certainly some choices,” until my wife pointed out that those are options for dogs. But again, the dogs would eat outside. They also have a large selection of beers, wines, cocktails, coffee, tea, and other non-alcoholic beverages, all for humans.

Once we boxed up our ample leftovers, we adjourned outside to watch the aforementioned romping and frolicking for a little while. Those good boys and girls were having a grand time, and we saw some beautiful huskies and even a rascally shiba inu. It was a nice way to decompress mentally and physically after what turned out to be a heavy meal. So that was Barkhaven. If you like dogs, drinking, and beef tallow, you’ll be in absolute heaven!

The Hummus Guy

The Hummus Guy (https://thehummusguyft.com/) is a Middle Eastern food truck that sets up at 711 North Orlando Avenue (also known as 17-92), Maitland, Florida 32751, outside of a bank building. The truck’s usual hours are noon to 7 PM, every day except Monday and Saturday, but always check their Facebook page for updates, just in case. A friend of mine has been singing its praises for a while, but I finally tried it in January, and I’ve been back many times since that first discovery — almost weekly!
The Hummus Guy isn’t just a generic description, but the owner-operator’s name is Guy and he makes he best hummus ever… as well as the best of so many other things. Buckle yourselves in for this one, constant readers! You’re about to discover one of my new favorite places to eat in the entire Orlando area.

I had taken large, clear photos of the menu to share, but Guy recently posted a new, updated menu online, so I’m using his own posted images instead. These are all the pita sandwich and plate (bowl) options:

Here are all the “extras” — a la carte orders that aren’t sandwiches or bowls.

The first time I visited the truck was a pretty cold January evening. While I waited for my food, Guy was kind enough to give me a free sample of four freshly rolled, freshly fried falafel balls with a pool of the smoothest, creamiest tahini (sesame paste) ever. These were so delicious, with the perfect crispy crunch, soft and yielding centers, and not greasy at all. Best falafel ever? Certainly the best falafel I’ve ever had anywhere, and my falafel-loving wife would soon agree.

This is the crown jewel, the chicken shawarma pita sandwich. I’ve been on a shawarma kick lately, discovering a great grilled beef shawarma at The Cairo Express Egyptian food truck in Winter Park last summer, as well as a few lesser shawarmas. But this is the absolute best chicken shawarma I’ve ever had in my life. Best chicken shawarma in the world? I can’t answer that, but I would certainly support it in a shawarma-off. So delicious, so flavorful, so tender. It’s addictive. We have since ordered it so many times, and it is never dry. So many shawarmas are disappointingly dry!The pita sandwich is garnished with chopped salad, creamy hummus, and tahini. By the way, Guy’s pita bread is all baked from scratch, and it is smaller diameter than most store-bought pitas, but a lot thicker and fluffier. It makes for a wonderful sandwich, and those sandwiches are stuffed so full of ingredients spilling out the top, they are best enjoyed on the premises. (Don’t worry, there are a few tiny portable tables with chairs.)

This is one of the many chicken shawarma plates I’ve brought home over the past two months. This one is served on a bed of addictive, savory mujjadara, buttery rice sauteed with lentils and a healthy amount of caramelized onions. As a caramelized onion lover, I love this mujjadara, and I appreciate that Guy goes HARD on the onions. Even my wife, who usually hates onions in anything, likes this stuff.

On a later visit, I brought home an order of the best chicken shawarma ever, which came with a simple side of tahini. This was a HUGE portion, and while I probably could have devoured it in one sitting, my wife and I spaced it out and made it last a few days, since I am consciously trying to eat less, eat healthier, and lose weight (believe it or not).

Here is a falafel plate I brought home for my wife on one of my many recent visits, on another bed of that insanely good mujjadara. That’s hummus on the side, topped with some of Guy’s spicy sechug sauce, made with fresh herbs (I’m guessing cilantro and parsley) and jalapenos. I’ve bought the Trader Joe’s version before (they spell it “zhoug” and describe it as a spicy condiment from Yemen), but Guy’s version is lighter, thinner, and less oily than Trader Joe’s and reminds me of a spicy tomatillo salsa.

More recently, my wife requested a simple order of falafel, not as part of a plate. We got a lot of balls!

(Seriously, these orders usually include 12 or 13.)

Something my wife and I discovered over a recent breakfast at the new Turkish restaurant Cafe De Wan in Casselberry is that you can add a thick, syrupy, sweet grape molasses called pekmez to tahini, and it becomes like the Turkish version of peanut butter and jelly. I bought a big jar of pekmez at Global Bazaar, a Turkish grocery store, and sometimes she will dab a little into the side cups of The Hummus Guy’s tahini for a uniquely sweet treat.

This is Guy’s chicken schnitzel, thin chicken tenders that are breaded and fried to perfection, also over mujjadara. They are great too, don’t get me wrong, but if I come here for chicken, I’m going to stick to the chicken shawarma and leave the chicken tenders to my beloved Chicken Fire. But the chicken schnitzel had a lot of flavor and has never been greasy, dry, or burnt. With so many restaurants serving and even specializing in chicken tenders, a lot of them half-ass it, but not Guy! This is a man who takes so much pride in his product, you can tell. It is refreshing, and the side of hummus topped with more spicy sechug sauce is even more refreshing.

This is the sabich pita sandwich, which would have looked a lot prettier if I ate it on premises instead of having Guy wrap it up to go. It is a sandwich of baked eggplant, a brown boiled egg, chopped salad, fresh herbs, amba sauce (made of mangoes and pickles), and tahini. It tasted better than this photo looks, I swear. Next time I’ll get one and eat it while I wait for the rest of my to-go order.

Likewise, the kebab pita sandwich from my third visit, with two grilled beef patties mixed with herbs and spices, would have looked a lot nicer if I ate it while hanging out at one of the tiny tables set up outside the truck. There were tomatoes and scallions in this sandwich, along with the hummus and tahini. I asked for some of the amba sauce in this one too, once I found out what it actually was. I love the intense sweetness and tartness of mango, and I always think something acidic is the missing ingredient in most dishes that brings them from good to great.

This is one of the many 16-ounce containers of hummus I’ve brought home, because it is such a rich, creamy, tasty hummus. None of the premade commercial brands at the supermarket can compare. It comes topped with parsley, a little olive oil, and that spicy sechug sauce. My wife has been eating a lot of roasted or baked sweet potatoes at home, especially the incredible Japanese murasaki sweet potatoes they sell at Trader Joe’s. I never add any oil during the roasting process, but she likes to apply hummus and/or tahini when she eats them! She is definitely in her sweet potato and hummus era, thanks to The Hummus Guy.

This is Guy’s babaganush, roasted eggplant with tahini and garlic. It can be used as a spread or a dip, and it is one of my wife’s favorite things in the world to eat, so we try it everywhere. This babaganush is somewhat more tahini-forward than others we’ve tried, where you taste more of a smoky flavor from the roasted eggplant.

To fully compare and contrast, I also ordered the eggplant mayo salad, which is roasted eggplant with mayonnaise instead of tahini, as well as the requisite garlic. I’m not quite as into tahini as my wife, but I am a sucker for mayo-based deli salads (macaroni, potato, egg, tuna, chicken, cole slaw), and I honestly liked this one better than the babaganush.

The Hummus Guy has become a new Friday evening tradition for us, since he is not there on Saturdays. He closes at 7 PM, so I try to make it over there in the last hour he’s open. We’ve been going through a 16-ounce container of his hummus each week, in addition to whatever else I bring home. Guy is a stand-up guy, so friendly and welcoming, and his food is second to none in the Orlando area. He’s always busy, so people are definitely discovering his amazing food and spreading the word, and now it’s my turn to do so. Guy’s wife Abbie, who was so patient with me when I first texted to find out their location and hours, is a lovely person too. Try their food soon — the shawarma, the mujjadara, the falafel, the hummus, the tahini, the fresh-baked pita bread — and I promise you won’t regret it!

Selva Rosa Cocina and Bar

Selva Rosa Cocina and Bar (https://soon.selvarosa.com/) is a gorgeous new Mexican restaurant with some Japanese fusion elements, located in Maitland. It took over the old location of Teak, a casual restaurant we loved at first, but the quality faltered over the years until it closed. (This may become relevant later, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos.) It is on one corner of The Village apartment complex on 17-92 (not to be confused with the infamous Villages elsewhere in Central Florida), with Lim Ros Thai Cuisine on the opposite corner.

The interior is very modern and pretty, with plenty of pink neon signs and fake plant walls, designed to be trendy and Instagrammable for photo ops. They are going for sexy, sophisticated style. More about that later, I promise.

We have been there twice now, and they always bring out thin, crispy tortilla chips that are well-salted and are not greasy at all, along with a simple, tasty table salsa.

I took photos of the menu, because they still aren’t available on the shell of a website. You may want to right-click on these to open them in new tabs and then expand them:

My wife ordered a black sesame latte on our first visit, perfect for our early lunch on a chilly Saturday. She said it was delicious.

I ordered this pair of Ensenada-style tacos, one for each of us, with fried grouper, shredded cabbage, pico de gallo, and habanero salsa on soft flour tortillas. I love a good fish taco, and they are surprisingly hard to come by in Orlando. This was excellent, in part because grouper is one of the tastiest fish… and also surprisingly hard to come by in Orlando.

My wife ordered pollo a la brasa, half of a deliciously marinated and grilled chicken, served artfully on a banana leaf with avocado crema and fresh cilantro on top, with a mound of the best Mexican rice I’ve ever tried anywhere and excellent black beans topped with queso fresco.

I was going to go with something else, but mentioned to our server David that I had a hard time deciding and would have to return soon. He suggested one of their most popular dishes, the short rib taquiza, a sizzling fajitas-sort of setup with a giant beef short rib, prepared with birria-style seasoning and a huge bone that slides right out. I know he was trying to upsell me, because this is a $38 dish, but I am a sucker for slow-braised, tender meats on the bone, and I already like short ribs, so I changed my order. No regrets. This thing was a beast, and it came out smoking and sizzling to beat the band. Even I got three meals out of this massive meat, but believe it or not, I am consciously trying to eat less, and also to eat healthier when I can. Short rib isn’t health food by any stretch, but at least I didn’t devour the whole thing in one sitting. (I always joke that my mom doesn’t approve of ordering fajitas at restaurants because people shouldn’t draw attention to themselves with those sizzling platters, but the main reason is because she doesn’t like Mexican food.)

The short rib taquiza came with another mound of that terrific Mexican rice (did I mention it’s the best I’ve ever had?), a bowl of rich, thick beans with chunks of unctuous pork belly, and a salad of shredded iceberg lettuce mixed with sliced tomatoes, raw white onion, and a little guacamole.It also came with warm, soft, handmade corn tortillas, probably the best corn tortillas either of us have ever had in Orlando, but I failed to get a photo of them. My wife and I loved the corn tortillas so much, we planned to get more on our next visit.

My wife ordered this dessert after her first choice (something with pistachios) was sold out. It looked cool, but she didn’t care much for it, and I had no interest in something chocolatey. It didn’t look appetizing to me at all. By the way, that was a shortbread-like cookie underneath it, not a layer of frosting or whipped cream.
It had raspberry puree in the middle, which she didn’t like or want. Back at home, I performed a bit of surgery, slicing it open and removing the raspberry filling for her. It wasn’t anything mind-blowing, and neither of us would ever get it again.

We returned the following weekend for a later lunch on “Superb Owl” Sunday, figuring the restaurant would not be too busy. We were right. But even though it wasn’t busy at all, it was a very different experience. What a difference a week makes!

She ordered another sesame latte, which was served in an attractive glass this time:

This time, we made it a point to arrive after 1 PM so we could hopefully try one of their sushi or similar raw fish dishes, since the menu said they do not serve them before 1. Instead of a sushi roll, my wife chose the ahi tuna truffle appetizer for us to share, with a mound of raw ahi tuna over diced avocado with red onion, cilantro, and their sweet soy truffle sauce, served with crunchy fried cassava chips and crispy tostadas. I am not a truffle fan, but this whole dish worked really well together. Ahi tuna is one of my favorite things to eat in the world, and she liked it too. By the way, all our food — apps and entrees alike — came out at the exact same time. Not ideal, but not something that would usually annoy me. Stay tuned, true believers.

Knowing we would have plenty of leftovers to enjoy over the next few days, I selected another pair of tacos, since we were both intrigued by this combination. These were the tacos bacanos, with ropa vieja (a Cuban dish of shredded beef stewed in a savory, tomatoey broth), black beans, avocado, and salty crumbles of queso fresco. These particular tacos were supposed to come on “plantain tortillas,” which I expected might be like tostones, but fried into a curved taco shell shape. As far as I could tell, these were pretty typical corn tortillas. Once I got home and started writing this review, I realized the menu said these tacos should also include avocado crema (so good on my wife’s grilled chicken on our previous visit) and pickled onions, but ours didn’t come with either. Missing or switched ingredients would be a recurring theme this time around, leading to more perplexing disappointment.

My wife loves a good steak, and she ordered the churrasco al carbon for her entree, figuring she would get multiple meals out of it. The grilled angus skirt steak arrived looking beautiful, topped with a little chimichurri and a few hot pink pickled onions. The kitchen cooked it rare as she requested, something that some other trendy restaurants just couldn’t get right. It came with yuca fries, black beans, and “seasonal vegetables” — mostly roasted squash.

This time I got the fajitas I almost ordered last time, when David recommended the colossal short rib instead. This was the asado Selva Rosa, a sizzling setup that was supposed to come with guajillo lime chicken, adobo grilled chicken, achiote shrimp, and one of my favorite Mexican meats, chorizo sausage. Since I’m trying to eat more protein and fewer carbs, it seemed like a nice way to try multiple things, but I fully admit that the chorizo was the deciding factor for me. So I thought it was a little odd that our new server asked how I wanted the meat cooked. Chicken, shrimp, and crumbly chorizo? I was surprised, so I hesitantly said “medium, so the chicken is cooked all the way through.” I just wasn’t expecting that question. I like my steak rare, but not my chicken!
So when it arrived, I couldn’t differentiate between two different types of chicken, the chorizo was noticeably absent, and there was also some steak that was tough and overdone. The menu didn’t say anything about steak, and if I had known steak would be involved, I would never have asked for it medium, because as I said, I like my steak rare. The hits just kept on coming! Honestly, I wonder if someone in the kitchen mixed up “churrasco” (steak) and “chorizo” (sausage).

It came with the same side salad, refried beans (not as good as last time, with no big chunks of pork belly or any other meat), and Mexican rice (also not as good as last time, when I told ya it was the best Mexican rice I’ve ever had).

This time I remembered to take a photo of the fresh corn tortillas when I unwrapped them from the foil, soft and steaming. But these looked different — certainly not as good. I gave them to my wife, who loved them last time, and I think she agreed they weren’t as good.

I asked our server what happened to the chorizo, because that’s why I ordered this dish. She said she would check, then some time passed and she said the kitchen would make me some chorizo, then more time passed and they brought this out. This was definitely not the orangey-red, spicy, savory, greasy, crumbly chorizo I’ve enjoyed in countless authentic tacos, burritos, and tortas. This was a slight step up from a salchicha, not that different from a hot dog, but possibly with a natural casing that got crisped up. Full disclosure: they took $5 off the bill because of this without me asking them to, but all these little things were adding up, and we were both feeling annoyed.

At this point, we had a lot of leftovers and were losing steam (and patience), so I asked our server for the Rosa en Fuego dessert they were out of last time, as well as some boxes. She brought us two boxes for all this food, so we had to go back and forth a couple of times to get enough boxes to pack everything up, and then a separate request for a paper bag to carry everything in. I refuse to leave expensive food behind at restaurants, even if more and more places are starting to act weird about offering to-go containers. It was starting to feel like a comedy sketch, and I imagined a domineering manager berating the wait staff about giving customers too many to-go boxes, and that’s costing them money. It really felt like that could be happening behind the scenes, and I’m a pretty chill, patient, conflict-averse guy, but it all seemed so unnecessary and ridiculous.

This was the Rosa en Fuego, a pretty large and attractive dome.
I never even saw the dessert menu, but my wife wanted to try it because it included pistachio and rosewater, two ingredients she loves. I joked that Pistachio and Rosewater sounds like a law firm for elves, and we riffed for a while about how they practiced enchanted forest law, like toadstool landlord/tenant issues, lily pad eminent domain, and zoning ordinances for businesses inside holes in tree trunks.

What we didn’t realize was that this would be a whole production, with some kind of alcohol set ablaze with a torch:

Then poured onto the dome, flames and all (hence the “en fuego”):

The sugary dome started to burn and melt away:

And it ended up being this little melty, shriveled thing with a light green bit of pistachio cake underneath. I was never interested, and she said it tasted like kerosene (probably butane, to be more accurate). I’m sure the influencers will go gaga over it, posting video of the burning, the melting, and their inevitable reaction shots.

As an aside, I noticed the men’s restroom looked surprisingly luxurious, with gleaming black urinals and fancy faucets for the sinks, but when my wife returned from the women’s restroom early in our meal, she looked upset. The toilet in the one accessible stall (which her rollator could not fit inside) was clogged and overflowing, and she said it made her lose her appetite. That kind of set the mood for our entire lunch. On the way out, after I paid our bill and tipped well, she told the manager about the restroom situation in a polite and diplomatic way, and we both looked into the eyes of a man who had no fucks left to give.

After two visits a week apart, after how much we enjoyed everything the first time and how many corners were cut the second time, our excitement has cooled like that weird melted dessert. My wife put it best: more than the food (which features trends like wagyu and truffle and fusion sushi), Selva Rosa Cocina and Bar is all about the vibes. The decor, the menu options, the presentations, the fact that ingredients are substituted or missing without warning and nobody seems too concerned, the checked-out service — it all feels aimed at trendmongers who care more about how their photos will look than about the overall quality, and most importantly of all, how they look in those photos. For us, that holds no appeal, and yes, I am fully aware of the irony of me taking a lot of photos for the purposes of this review. I realize this is still a relatively new restaurant, so they may be working out kinks and/or bugs, but the colossal downgrade in our experience from one week to the next was noteworthy. It is probably clear that Selva Rosa is not our scene, so I wanted to tell a full, clear, unbiased story so you can determine whether or not it may be your scene. Let me know what you decide.