July 2018 – The Saboscrivner

Raglan Road

This past weekend, my wife and I journeyed to Disney Springs to see the ridiculously talented singer/songwriter/rapper/dancer/actress Janelle Monae perform at the House of Blues. Needless to say, she was incredible. I’ve been a fan of her Afro-futuristic feminist funk-soul-pop-hip hop-R&B for almost a decade, and this was our first opportunity to see her live. If you ever get the chance to see her, DO IT. You won’t regret it. She might be the most talented and culturally relevant female musician out there right now, and yes, I did consider your favorite artist. I would be thrilled to introduce my readers to her best material, but here’s her song “Americans” off her new album Dirty Computer, which I think serves as an anthem and rallying cry for the progressive, inclusive, empathetic resistance in 2018: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POZNheF-KdY

Anyway, we’ve had good, bad, and plenty of so-so experiences dining at Disney Springs, so we opted to return to an old favorite, the boisterous Irish pub Raglan Road. Sprawling, loud, and crowded, you can always count on a festive atmosphere, solid food, and friendly service. This evening, they had a three-piece Irish band playing Celtic folk music, along with winsome Irish dancers clogging away on a central stage. Sometimes it can be too loud to have a conversation, but we were seated a decent distance from the stage, ironically in the “Music Room,” where we could hear and enjoy the music perfectly without it drowning out each other’s voices.

It’s hard to not get caught up in the welcoming old-country vibe and party atmosphere of the place, and I’ve never been to Ireland and don’t think I have any Irish in me. But when I listen to the Pogues, I feel a strong kinship with Irish culture, and when I set foot in a good pub, I feel the same. Not bad for a guy who doesn’t even drink!

Of course, every meal at Raglan Road starts with slices of rich, brown Irish soda bread, served with a masterful dipping sauce that is Guinness stout ale reduced with sugar and mixed with olive oil. It is so good, and it sets the tone for everything to follow. Sorry I didn’t get a picture this time.

On previous visits, we have defaulted to Irish pub classics like fish and chips, bangers and mash, or bacon loin and cabbage (much more traditional than the 19th Century New York City substitution of corned beef and cabbage). Once we arrived early enough on a Sunday for them to offer a full Irish breakfast option, which I had to go for (much to the chagrin of my body). My favorite part is always the black pudding (AKA blood sausage), and I’m 100% serious. It is delicious, and I wish it was a regular menu item.

This time, the menu had several new options since the last time we were there (maybe two years ago), so we decided to split two entrees that were new to us. My wife loves sea scallops, pork belly, and gnocchi, those chewy, potatoey dumplings, so she had a hard time saying no to the “Gnocchi See, Gnocchi Do,” with handmade potato gnocchi, seared Georges bank scallops, crispy pork belly, tomatoes, and kale in a white wine butter sauce. She was kind enough to share some of it with me, although she gave me one whole scallop and the dish only came with three! That’s true love, folks.

They were really big scallops, perfectly seared, sweet and buttery. But I almost hate ordering scallops at restaurants because you can usually end up counting them on one hand. The tomatoes were halved grape tomatoes. She’s not a tomato fan and I got too full to finish them. I would have preferred regular diced tomatoes, or better yet, sun-dried tomatoes, which would have added another nice texture and a little sweetness.

I asked what her second choice was, so I could order that and share it with her. We both love game meats, or any gamier meat, so we were both tempted by the Boaring Burger, a grilled wild boar burger with Cashel blue cheese, crispy onion strings, arugula, port and pear chutney, and herb aioli, served on a floury potato bun. We both thought the wild boar was a little dry, but at least it had a nice flavor (much more interesting than most pork, which I find almost as bland as boneless, skinless chicken breasts). There was nothing “boaring” about it!

The burger had a lot of contrasting tastes and textures that worked well together, and the bun held it all in place well. It even came with a nice little side salad, and a crunchy sweet pickle garnish. Believe it or not, I’m not generally a fan of pickles, but I am working on developing more of an appreciation for them.

And since I had a choice of side and the fries/chips walking out of the kitchen looked a little light and unappealing, I opted for onion rings. That’s right, folks, this ended up being a RING THE ALARM! feature! (Cue the air horns!)

I must admit, these are not my favorite kinds of onion rings. They were huge, and the batter was thick, heavy, and crunchy, but at least not overly greasy. I suspect it may be the same kind of batter they use for their fried fish, but despite being referred to as “beer battered onion rings” on the menu, they aren’t the golden-brown beer battered rings I’m on a never-ending quest for. But for a change, my wife actually liked them — or at least the crunchy batter. She peeled a few of them and left the onions behind for me!

Raglan Road has one of my all-time favorite desserts, a rich bread and butter pudding that almost defies explanation, especially because I haven’t had it in a few years. But we were both very full, she had already had mini-cupcakes from the nearby Sprinkles bakery, and we had a concert to go to at a sold-out venue with limited restrooms, so I figured “Why tempt fate?” Get to be my age, you Millennials, and you’ll start enjoying the same interior monologues with every meal YOU eat.

Sláinte!

Teak Neighborhood Grill

Teak Neighborhood Grill (http://teakorlando.com/) is an underrated gem of a restaurant that opened near us in 2017. Teak already had a location across town in the MetroWest area, but the second location in Maitland is much more convenient for us.

We especially like going for an early lunch on weekends, right when they open at 11 AM. That’s when they have their brunch menu as an alternative to the regular menu, and my wife loves their chicken and waffles. The waffles are thick, Belgian-style, with the slightest bit of caramelization around the edges, making them a perfect consistency of crispy outsides and soft, chewy insides. The chicken breasts are buttermilk-dipped and hand-breaded, always moist, never dry or greasy. They also include bacon and some very nice, crispy breakfast potatoes.

I don’t think I’ve ever gone to Teak and not ordered a burger, though. They have 18 different burgers listed on their website menu (plus the $45 “Teak Challenge” burger, which is the last thing I need), but if you go, ask for their “secret burger menu,” and you’ll get a long, laminated list of about 20 more varieties. Their burgers are among the best in town, and I usually try to pick a different one every time, to keep things from getting stale. I always ask for them medium-rare, and they always cook them to perfection.

This time, I ordered the caprese burger off the secret menu, which comes with melty provolone cheese, fried mozzarella, pesto sauce, balsamic glaze, spring mix, and tomato on a ciabatta roll. The only thing that gave me pause was the ciabatta, since I sometimes find those rolls a little too crusty and hard, and I’d much rather have a burger on a potato bun, brioche, or pretzel roll. But I’m glad I put my faith in Teak’s system, as it was a very good roll that held everything together. It looks hard to eat, but I was able to squish it down pretty flat, and all the flavors worked very well together. I really love balsamic glaze, and I’m a sucker for fried mozzarella — when my students ask me if I can recommend any apps, I will go into dad mode and blurt out “Mozzarella sticks!” Every. Time.

You get a choice of sides, including good fries and decent onion rings, but since I discovered Teak has excellent chili, I always get a cup of chili as my side. Hey, it cuts the carbs a little, plus I love chili, and everyone always has a completely unique version that is worth trying. (See also: meatloaf, pimiento cheese, and of course onion rings.) Theirs is a thick, beanless, red chili that has a lot of flavor, but not much in the way of heat. I actually brought it home and ate it the next day mixed with a little bit of leftover pasta shells. Yes, my family ate chili over pasta long before we learned it was a whole thing in Cincinnati. We called it “Cowboy Spaghetti,” and I’ll defend it to the death. But I digress.

That caprese burger again:

Looking through the starters (appetizers), we have tried Teak’s OMG Chips before (housemade potato chips topped with blue cheese crumbles and maple bacon drizzled with balsamic reduction), as well as their soft pretzel rolls, and both are great. But this time, we inquired about ordering a mysterious-sounding side item called Sidewinders as an app, and our server assured us we would love them. Hey, we’re fun, daring people who live on the edge! Why not? I’ll try anything once, and usually twice, just to be sure.

The Sidewinders were twisty potato slices, fried until they had crispy outsides and soft insides, like really great steak fries, but almost as thin as kettle chips. They were tossed in a “garlic bistro” seasoning with lots of herbs, and the seasoning really made them. I’m a big weirdo who can take or leave a lot of fries, but these were delicious, and I’m glad we gave them a chance.

As you can see, they came with a sauce that, to quote Homer Simpson, “It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain’t ketchup!” I thought it was some kind of fancy barbecue sauce, so when I asked, our server told us it was…

Wait for it…

Their housemade ketchup.

Normally it’s Heinz or the highway for me, as I’ve sampled some weird ketchups that taste too much like Christmas, but this was really good. Make sure you order something you can dip in ketchup when you go to Teak!

The restaurant is a huge dining room with ample seating on the outside patio, with a welcoming, casual vibe. For weekend brunches, they put out a build-your-own Bloody Mary bar, which I suspect is a huge selling point for most people. You can add all kinds of marinated and pickled vegetables (pickles, banana pepper rings, cocktail onions), cheese cubes, over a dozen different hot sauces, and more to your Bloody Mary, but some of us don’t need any help with getting acid reflux.

I suspect not enough people are aware of Teak, but it’s a fantastic option if you’re in Maitland, Winter Park, Casselberry, or anywhere near the MetroWest location, which is nowhere near us. Especially if you like a tasty burger, I’d say they serve some of the better burgers in Orlando. Service is always great, prices are reasonable, and the menu has something for everyone. I asked them once if they served their burgers as veggie burgers, and they confirmed that they can make anything as a black bean burger, so that may also help some of you come to a decision.

Stasio’s Italian Deli & Market: Opening Day review!

Well, after tracking its progress for what seems like a year, Orlando’s first Italian deli and market, Stasio’s, finally opened for business today, as a soft opening. (https://www.facebook.com/Stasios-Italian-deli-194418224503776/) I love Italian delis and markets — Mazzaro’s Market in St. Petersburg is one of my favorite destinations in all of Florida (and I don’t just mean restaurants), and DeLaurenti inside Pike Place Market in Seattle and Eataly in Chicago are two of the coolest places I’ve ever been. Needless to say, I had to make a pilgrimage to Stasio’s on its opening day, and I’m so glad I did, because they are filling a void in Orlando’s burgeoning culinary scene. The family that owns Stasio’s also founded the venerable and much-missed Louie and Maria’s Italian restaurant, as well as the Pizzeria Valdiano location in Waterford Lakes, so they aren’t new to Orlando or to delicious Italian food.

My co-worker and I arrived around 1 PM, and I was glad to see the place busy and bustling. We immediately got in line to order sandwiches at the deli counter, where we were presented with a laminated menu. For me, choosing the Stasio sandwich was an easy choice: prosciutto, hot capicola, mild soppressata, fresh mozzarella, roasted red peppers, red onion, and white balsamic vinaigrette on a sub roll, for $11. That’s my idea of a good time! My vegetarian co-worker ordered the Melenzani sandwich, with eggplant, spinach, roasted red peppers, marinated tomatoes, fresh mozzarella, and balsamic reduction, which only came as a panini, for $11. (Editor’s note: she e-mailed and said it came on a sub roll after all, despite the menu saying it would be a panini.)

They were slammed on their first day, so it gave us time to browse around. At the deli, I ordered some sliced Italian beef brisket and porchetta, both made in-house, while my co-worker picked up some beautiful fresh sfogliatelle (flaky, shell-shaped pastries) from their bakery counter. They had plenty of other meats and cheeses, huge square slices of pizza ($4.95 for a gigantic slice), deli salads and vegetables, including broccoli rabe, multicolored roasted peppers, stuffed cherry peppers, and sundried tomatoes glistening in oil, marinated imported anchovies that looked like actual silvery fish and not the salty brown fillets that everyone except me dreads on their pizza, and prepared Italian meatballs and sausage. Shelf-stable groceries included all kinds of fancy pasta you will NOT find at Publix, and plenty of cans, jars, and bottles of delicious Italian delicacies.

Stasio’s does not have tables, but the store is lined with a long counter for people to enjoy their food while sitting on stools. We brought ours back to work, though. They also have an espresso counter near the cash registers at the front, and it looks like you can also order wine by the glass there, but I could be wrong. (Don’t drink, wasn’t paying that close attention.)

Upon returning to work, I couldn’t be more pleased to say how great the sub was. The melange of meats worked together in perfect harmony with the fresh “mutsadell” (I promise I’ll never do that again), and roasted red peppers are a welcome addition to almost any sandwich. I’m sure someone is wondering how the sub roll was, and I’m happy to report it was the perfect amount of chewy with an exterior that wasn’t too crusty — just how I like them. The rolls were also baked in-house, of course. I would have liked more toppings on the sub — lettuce, tomato, maybe some of the long hot peppers they advertised on other sandwiches — but ordering was a bit of sensory overload today, and I didn’t even ask. Next time!

Here’s a much better photo of a different Stasio sandwich from a later visit:

I also impulse-bought a Manhattan Special espresso soda in a glass bottle, because even though I’m not much of a coffee drinker, I sure love trying new and interesting soda flavors. It was good, although I think a cappuccino/latte version with some creaminess would have been much better. All they had were regular and diet version of the espresso soda, though.

Well, I am very happy Stasio’s is finally open, and so close to my work! I’ll definitely add it to my regular restaurant rotation, and I suggest my dozens of loyal readers (bakers’ dozens?) give it a try at your earliest convenience. I wish them the best and welcome them to the neighborhood!

ADDENDUM: My co-worker gave me one of her shell-shaped sfogliatelle pastries, and it was delicious. The crispy outer dough is very flaky and fragile, able to be peeled apart in thin, spiral-like layers. The inside is kind of like a thick, lightly-sweetened cheese (not creamy or runny at all, more like the filling of a cheese danish but not nearly as sweet), speckled with tiny, chewy bits of candied lemon for a subtle fresh citrus taste and scent.

ADDENDUM 2: If you go on a weekday afternoon, Stasio’s will often have huge rectangular slices of Sicilian-style pizza, which I just love. I highly recommend seeking one of these big baddies out.

Baltimore, Part 3: A Tale of Two Crabcakes (Phillips and Faidley’s)

Well, I’m already home from my trip to Baltimore, back at work, back in the real world. It was a nice second visit to Charm City. I learned a lot, saw some old friends, made some new ones, and had a few really terrific meals (plus some not so blog-worthy ones, including a trip to Subway because I was pressed for time and it was the best option around).

Baltimore is really known for its famous crabs: blue crabs steamed in Old Bay seasoning and served in the shell, which you smash with mallets and pick apart, and the classier, less-messy alternative, crabcakes. Crabcakes should be soft and fork-tender, with their outer surfaces only slightly crispy from being pan-seared or broiled. They aren’t batter-dipped or deep-fried. It’s a croquette of shredded crabmeat, probably some bread crumbs, possibly onions, peppers, garlic, celery, herbs and spices, and maybe an egg to bind it together. Obviously the best crabcakes are heavy on the crab and light on the fillers.

Now, you’ve probably tried a crabcake at some point in your life, but the ones in Baltimore are unmatched. I was lucky enough to try two of the city’s iconic crabcakes at two very different restaurants. You could say I was on a seafood diet on this trip: when I would see food, I’d eat it, as long as it was seafood.

This past Friday evening (7.13.18), I walked to Phillips, a giant seafood restaurant in the touristy Inner Harbor area, to meet two friends for dinner. (https://www.phillipsseafood.com/) Phillips is a pretty nice place, and their crabcakes were no exception.

These Hooper’s Island crabcakes came with roasted, seasoned potatoes and a nice blend of seasonal vegetables. Those are two sides I would rarely choose myself, but I enjoyed both more than I expected to. They also came with a tangy remoulade sauce, a great accompaniment for almost any seafood that is a good alternative to tartar sauce. I liked them, don’t get me wrong. They were delicious, and the company at dinner was unparalleled. But I already knew there were better crabcakes to be found in Baltimore, from my previous visit back in 2011. Would I make it back there in time?

Well, of course I did, hence the title of this post. Baltimore’s hottest spot for crabcakes is Faidley Seafood, a legendary restaurant and seafood market inside the Lexington Market. (http://www.faidleyscrabcakes.com/ and http://lexingtonmarket.com/) I’m a huge fan of food markets, and they have been some of my favorite travel destinations in cities over the years: the Reading Terminal Market in Philadelphia, Pike Place Market in Seattle, the Ferry Building in San Francisco, the North Market in Columbus, Ohio, and the granddaddy of them all, the Lexington Market, founded in 1782. There’s a lot of history at this place — you can feel it. It’s nestled in the middle of a historic part of downtown Baltimore, walkable from the Inner Harbor, but not in a direction most tourists would automatically head in. The indoor market shows its age, and it definitely isn’t fancy, but it’s totally worth visiting and checking out the 88 vendors — especially Faidley.

Founded in 1886 and a Lexington Market resident from the beginning, Faidley Seafood feels like a time capsule in the best way. It’s a little intimidating at first, since there’s a lot going on at multiple counters throughout the restaurant: a fresh fish counter on your left when you walk in off Paca Street, an oyster bar right in the middle, and the counter where you order crabcakes and other food on the right. They will prepare any fresh fish you choose, in addition to their regular menu items, which is pretty cool.

They sell a few different crabcake varieties, as well as seafood platters, where you can try multiple things. When I went yesterday (7.17.18), I opted for a seafood platter with a backfin crabcake, fried oysters, and fried clams, which also came with two sides. I got macaroni salad and potato salad, since I like trying everyone’s different versions. And they had onion rings, so this is also a stealth RING THE ALARM! feature!

The fried oysters and clams were great. Sometimes you can order those and taste nothing but breading and grease and wonder if there were any mollusks in there, but these were so fresh, and not at all greasy. The potato salad and macaroni salad were thick (I hate it when the mayo is runny), creamy, cool, refreshing, and incredibly well-seasoned. They gave me cocktail sauce and tartar sauce, which were nice for some dipping, but not necessary, given how flavorful everything was.

The crabcake was the best I’ve ever had, and I felt that way after my earlier trip to Faidley Seafood back in 2011. It was seasoned better than the one at Phillips, and I greatly preferred Faidley’s much more casual and historic atmosphere. A classy sit-down restaurant versus a bustling, historic seafood market where you order at a counter and stand up to eat at long tables — you’d think the better one would be obvious, but I prefer casual and historic anyway, and Faidley’s crabcake was just superior. (And I often eat over my kitchen counter at home, so I’m used to standing up while I eat!) It was my favorite meal of the entire trip to Baltimore, and I’m so glad I fit it in before a long and frustrating afternoon at the airport.

Crabcake close-up:

I wasn’t sure what to expect from the onion rings, since we have a local seafood restaurant that makes onion rings that I don’t care for at all, but these were terrific. Some of the better ones I’ve had — the perfect thickness, the perfect batter, the perfect texture and taste. They were perfect in every way, not that I should have been surprised.

If you’ve ever watched The Wire (which I mentioned is my favorite show of all time), two different characters refer to Faidley’s in two different scenes: Omar mentions it to his partner, and McNulty brings a bag of crabcakes to two excited cops as a favor. David Simon, the showrunner, was a long-time journalist for the Baltimore Sun and more recently, a MacArthur “Genius Grant” recipient, so if you don’t believe me, believe him. Not many people know their way around Baltimore better. If you visit Baltimore and can only go one place for its legendary crabcakes, eschew the touristy Phillips and soak up the local culture at Faidley Seafood in the Lexington Market. Just go for lunch, since they aren’t open for dinner!

Baltimore, Part 2: Dangerously Delicious Pies

When you’re a grown-ass person, you can choose to have dessert for dinner if you want to. Normally that isn’t my ideal meal; I like some sweets, but I’m more likely to crave a good sandwich (almost everything is better in sandwich form), pasta, or salty, crunchy snacks. But when it comes to desserts, my favorite might be PIE. I’ll take pie over cake any day; I love pie, and I’m sad that for the most part, pie isn’t hip or cool or popular. There was a time in the U.S. when pie wasn’t just for Thanksgiving — and true confession time, I think apple and pumpkin may be the most boring, pedestrian pies, and Thanksgiving dinner is boring and bland in general. But that’s a hot take for another blog entry!

There were times past when you could take a date out for coffee and pie after a movie, or convince more people to attend a voluntary meeting if you promised punch and pie. Those days are gone, and what desserts are en vogue now? We’re left with trendy cupcakes, crumbly dry nibbles of cake buried under mounds of sickly-sweet, greasy frosting; macarons, tiny pastel burger-looking things that still look much prettier than they taste; and biscotti, a cruel joke against anyone who likes cookies.

But pie is comfort food, nostalgia, hope — all the good parts of America with none of the bad, the most pastoral of pastries, equally at home cooling on a farmhouse windowsill or resting under a glass dome in a lonely big-city diner straight out of an Edward Hopper painting. I even fulfilled a lifelong dream I never even knew I had earlier this year, when I volunteered as a judge in the American Pie Championship, right here in Orlando. That was an experience I’ll never forget or regret, even though I got stuck with the apple pie category and never need to have apple pie again.

So needless to say, I was thrilled when two Facebook friends alerted me to the presence of a pie restaurant right here in Baltimore, where I’m spending the next few days! Dangerously Delicious Pies (https://www.dangerouspiesbalt.com/) was founded by Rodney Henry, frontman of Baltimore rock band The Glenmont Popes, and apparently quite a baker as well. The restaurant has two locations in Baltimore, and they specialize in sweet AND savory pies! The menu is huge, almost to the point of intimidating, but I figured I’d get a piece of savory pie so I could feel like a functional grown-ass person and have more than just dessert for dinner, but follow it with a sweet slice.

I took a Lyft ride to the scenic Canton neighborhood location with an old friend and one of her work colleagues. It was a cool, funky little restaurant, with walls painted red, some rock ‘n’ roll decor, and a glass case teeming with gorgeous, tempting pies. All savory pies are $7.50 per slice, and quiches and sweet pies are $6.50 per slice. Every pie is baked in a 10″ pie pan, and they are cut into six equal, generous slices.

My friend selected the Hot Rod Potato pie: kind of like potatoes au gratin with potatoes, roasted peppers, cream, cheeses, onions, and bacon. 20180714_192934_resized

Her colleague had just flown into Baltimore and was hungry enough to order two slices: the Cannonball (bratwurst, onions, and peppers roasted in Heavy Seas Loose Cannon beer) and the Polka pie (Kielbasa, sauerkraut, potatoes, and cheese). They were kind enough to let me try theirs, and I did the same.

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I think I panicked from the seemingly-limitless options, because I chose the sausage, tomato, and fennel pie — good, but not as great as all of theirs. I love tomato-based sauces on pasta, pizza, salsa, you name it, but this had chunks of stewed tomatoes that were a little too large for my liking. I think it came down to a texture issue for me, as I’d rather have a smoother sauce without huge chunks when it comes to hot, cooked tomatoes. But my pie included both sweet and hot sausages, and it still tasted really good. It could have used some cheese, though — either melty mozzarella or provolone, or even a gooey white American or cream cheese to balance out the acidic, chunky tomatoes.

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All these pies had the same crust — fork-tender, flaky, buttery, a little salty, chewy yet also crispy, not really sweet. It was a really solid pie crust that got thicker and a little dryer toward the back. Like a lot of dry pizza crusts, I wasn’t too tempted to eat the outer crust pieces, but the tops and bottoms were terrific.

The pies all came with complimentary sides of either a vinegar-based cole slaw with poppy seeds, or a simple side salad. I opted for the cole slaw, which was great, except for the poppy seeds that got lodged between some of my teeth all night. I still contend they need to develop an app that warns you about visible food caught between your teeth.

For her sweet pie, my friend went with the house specialty, the Baltimore Bomb, a vanilla-custardy chess pie with Berger cookies, a local delicacy similar to New York’s familiar black and white cookies, melted and swirled into the custard filling. Berger cookies are smaller than your average black and whites, but they’re comparable “cakey” cookies, covered with rich, thick chocolate icing. It was in the same kind of flaky, buttery crust as the savory pies, but it was almost a sweetness overload.

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I had a much easier time choosing my sweet pie, especially after studying the menu in advance: the Pineapple Right Side Up pie, white chocolate maple chess pie topped with brown sugar and pineapple. As I write more on this blog, you will learn that I love anything with pineapple and anything with maple, but it’s very rare for a dessert to include both flavors. Needless to say, it was delicious, but also ridiculously sweet and rich. I would have liked a little more of a pineapple upside down cake taste mixed throughout (that’s one cake that I’ll always love) and a little less of the rich custard, which was extremely “eggy”-tasting in both sweet pies. And normally I love chess pie!

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Anyway, it was an awesome dinner, a unique restaurant, and a great value. None of us had any regrets, even if I don’t feel like I chose the best savory pie option. I’m so glad some of my hip friends hipped me to the existence of Dangerously Delicious Pies, because I came across as so cool recommending it to my other friend and her friend. Now I can say that almost everything is better in sandwich form AND pie form.

This place opens at 10 AM during the week and 9 AM on weekends, and stays open until 10 PM most days, and midnight on Friday and Saturday. You could literally have pie for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and I strongly recommend you try that at least once.

To quote FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks, one of my favorite fictional characters of all time from one of my favorite shows of all time, these were some damn fine pies.

Baltimore, Part 1: Attman’s Deli

I am in Baltimore, Maryland for the next few days. When I am lucky enough to take work trips, I always try to explore, eat, and soak up the local culture as much as I can on my own limited time. I despise driving in unfamiliar places, so whenever I travel, I walk when I can, take public transportation if it’s available, or rely on ride-sharing services or cabs. Luckily, Baltimore has a fantastic public transportation system. I took a light rail from the airport to my hotel for $1.80, and took a free bus to and from my first restaurant destination. Figuring out the public transportation systems when I travel makes me feel more like a “man of the world,” and not just a lifelong Floridian who has to drive everywhere to get anywhere. I was last in Baltimore on a short trip with my wife in 2011, but even before that, the city was already close to my heart.

My favorite television show of all time is The Wire, David Simon’s Baltimore-set epic that unfolds like a great American novel with a cast of hundreds, about the failure of the war on drugs, the struggles of cops and criminals alike, the collapse of blue collar jobs, the failing public school system, the decline of print journalism. It’s about how institutions always tear down individuals who try to change things for the better, but how you still have to try, to fight the powers that be. It’s often bleak and grim, sometimes heart-wrenchingly sad, occasionally uproariously funny, and incredibly well-written and well-acted. The cast members, primarily actors of color, have gone onto higher-profile roles in more popular shows as well as movies, and I’m always happy to see them pop up. The Wire ran for five seasons on HBO, from 2002 to 2008, and you can still watch it by streaming on Amazon Prime or HBO Go. I can’t recommend it highly enough. Here’s the offical website with a trailer for the series: https://www.hbo.com/the-wire

To make this food-related, I discovered The Wire after it had ended, like so many other fans — but better late than never. Long before the show was available to stream online, one of my former students always raved about it, and she had been discussing shopping around for a Crock-Pot. We worked out a deal: I traded her my Crock-Pot in exchange for borrowing her DVDs of the complete series! She changed my life for the better (and now I own my own DVDs), and I hope she had better luck with that Crock-Pot than I did.

Anyway, back to Baltimore! My first stop, after checking into my hotel, was to take one of the city’s wonderful free buses to Attman’s Deli, a legendary Jewish deli founded in 1915. (https://attmansdeli.com/) I’m a sucker for the food, culture, and history of Jewish delis, and for any restaurants with that kind of resilience. In this era where everything is ephemeral, I am drawn to those institutions that are obviously doing everything right in order to last decades, whether they change with the times or are so good at what they do that they don’t have to.

To my surprise, Attman’s isn’t a table service restaurant. You enter and line up in a long, narrow corridor at the deli counter, place your order, pay for it at the end, and then take it to a dining room or to go. The sandwiches and other options are listed above the counter, but the menu is overwhelmingly long, so I suggest you study it in advance, as I did, or grab a paper menu when you enter (since that includes the prices, whereas the listings above the deli counter don’t).

I chose the Lombard Street (named for the street Attman’s is on), a double-decker sandwich that comes with pastrami, corned beef, chopped liver, and Russian dressing on rye bread, for a pretty fair $14.95. I figured that was a good way to try a lot of deli staples at once. I also ordered a potato knish, because those are so rare nowadays (as are delis in general), and because this is The Saboscrivner, I had to get an order of onion rings so this review could also be a RING THE ALARM! feature.

The knish was good. For those who don’t know a knish from kishka, it’s a baked or fried dumpling stuffed with savory fillings, usually mashed potatoes seasoned with onions, but sometimes kasha (boiled, seasoned buckwheat grains), ground beef, or even spinach. This was a baked knish, the more common variety, but the legendary knishes made by Gabila’s in New York are fried. The doughy outer shell was soft, but held up firmly enough to properly contain the potatoey filling, and the potatoes had a rich, oniony flavor. It was everything a baked knish should be. I like my knishes with lots of deli mustard. (Stay tuned for CUTTING THE MUSTARD, another planned recurring feature when I start reviewing mustards.)

The sandwich was delicious. Not as hugely overstuffed as Katz’s infamous deli sandwiches in New York, which is fine, because I didn’t have to deconstruct it or dislocate my jaw in the process. I sampled the corned beef, pastrami, and chopped liver separately, to fully appreciate them, as well as together in the sandwich as a melange of salty, juicy, beefy flavors. I consider myself a connoisseur of the salted, cured meats, and I was glad to have chosen wisely from that long, almost intimidating menu. (https://attmansdeli.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/05/Attmans-Carryout-menu-2018_web.pdf) In fact, I was so wise that I saved half of the sandwich for later, and I am thrilled that my hotel room has a fridge AND a microwave!

And the onion rings? Well, they were fine, but not my favorite kind of onion rings. They were a little thicker than optimal, with a coating that was kind of like crispy bread crumbs, with that unmistakable jagged surface. The coating stayed on well, which is always appreciated, but beer battered onion rings are still my Platonic ideal. Ring the Alarm!

Well, stay tuned for more Baltimore food reviews in the days to come.

CLOSED: Jade Sushi & New Asian

EDITOR’S NOTE: Jade Sushi & New Asian closed for good on November 5th, 2022.

***

For a guy who writes about food, I rarely leave work to go out to lunch, even though I work near some of our city’s best restaurants. Nope, I pack mostly-healthy lunches in a lunch box with baked chicken, sometimes cans of sardines, hard-boiled pickled eggs I pickle myself, big salads, vegetables, berries. Everyday stuff. Boring stuff. And I eat alone in our break room and usually choke it all down quickly so I can get back to work. Not festive, folks. Not blog-worthy. This Onion article hits really close to home for me: https://local.theonion.com/man-brings-lunch-from-home-to-cut-down-on-small-joys-1819577433

But today was a rarity, because not only did I go out to a nice lunch, but I met a lot of super-cool people from the Orlando Foodie Forum on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/orlandofoodieforum/), the community that keeps me in the loop and eating well in the first place. If I’m any kind of authority on local food (and I am, at least for friends, co-workers, and students), it’s thanks to that place.

Seven of us assembled at Jade Sushi & New Asian (http://jadenewasian.com/) in the College Park neighborhood near downtown Orlando: myself, Foodie Forum and Tasty Chomps food blog (http://tastychomps.com/) founder Ricky Ly (who I’ve known online for years but never met), and other super-cool people who probably don’t want me to list their full names: Krystle (another fellow blogger, of http://www.theorlandogirl.com/ fame), Monica, Mia and Aranya, and Lani (who I owe a debt of gratitude to, for welcoming me into the world of pie championship judging earlier this year). I always feel awkward in social situations, like I’m not going to belong, but this was a very friendly and welcoming group, and I like to think I clicked with them.*

*Speaking of “clicked,” I’m sure at least one careful Foodie Forum reader at this gathering was like “Really? This is the guy who elected to take the group picture?”

We ordered lots of food, and everyone was very generous and laid-back about sharing. We tried fried chicken wings in spicy-sweet Korean red sauce, pork belly bao, and they brought out thin slices of hamachi (a fish similar to amberjack) for us all to sample, which was really nice.

A few of us ordered spicy tan tan men, which is thin, ramen-like noodles served with ground beef in a spicy, oily red sauce. I love a similar dish at Chuan Lu Garden with ground pork, but this might have even been better because it also came with soft-boiled egg halves like “fancy” ramen (to me, that’s any non-instant ramen), beautiful chili threads as a garnish, and I opted for a bit of sliced cha shu pork with mine as well.

I’m pretty sure Ricky took this picture with my camera phone:

And here’s my terrible photography again!

Ricky has been promising to give me a food photography tutorial, so today was our chance. I felt extremely relieved and vindicated when he quickly concluded that my phone camera is just the worst, rather than my eye or my talent as a photographer. Hey, it’s not a fancy phone, but you would plotz if you knew how little it cost, and how little I pay for my plan per month. That allows me to go out to eat slightly more often and write about my experiences here. The downside, dear readers, is you have to look at my blurry-ass food photos from time to time.

Well, I can never resist a deal on sushi, and Jade has some great lunch specials, including two rolls for $11. I opted for two standards, intending to share them: a spicy tuna roll and a bagel roll with smoked salmon and cream cheese, because that is the food of my people. I haven’t had sushi in a long time, and they totally hit the spot.

Other people ordered some beautiful-looking bento boxes and ramen bowls. Jade Sushi & New Asian has a huge menu (http://jadenewasian.com/menu/), so take your time looking it over so you can make the best choices. Better yet, go with a bunch of friends (or friendly Internet strangers) and share everything!

I have been to Jade twice before, and from those prior visits, I strongly recommend the “sizzling evil ribs” (great name, even greater dish) and the Stormtrooper roll, with smoked salmon, asparagus, and fried jalapeno, wrapped with escolar, spicy mayo, and eel sauce.

So today was better than most days. I left work, ate a terrific lunch at a restaurant I love, and hung out with some friendly fellow foodies for the first time.

Remembering Anthony Bourdain

A big reason I started The Saboscrivner is because of local celebrity Ricky Ly, founder of http://www.tastychomps.com, published author, and one of the biggest food writers in Orlando. Ricky and I both used to be regular, prolific posters on the Florida forum on Chowhound.com, but when he founded the Orlando Foodie Forum on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/orlandofoodieforum/), I followed him there and became a part of that incredible community. I have not yet had the opportunity to meet Ricky in real life, but he has definitely been an influence on me. I feel more connected to Orlando because of him, and I’ve learned a lot about our rich restaurant scene and food in general thanks to him. Through his Facebook group, I’ve received a lot of encouragement about my writing, inspiring me to finally create this blog, which I should have done a long time ago.

However, maybe the biggest reason I got into this food blogging game was Anthony Bourdain. His death last month hit me much harder than any other celebrity deaths I can think of, because I was such a huge fan of his. Through his TV shows, his food writing, and even his novels and graphic novels, I felt like I knew the guy, and I thought the world of him. He really inspired me to think more about the food I ate, where it came from, who made it, and the stories and culture behind it all. He was a saboscrivner too — when you listened to his voice or read his words, you were along for the ride with this very cool, but very tortured, tour guide. The sights, the smells, the tastes — he made them real. You were there. That’s what I hope to do, on a much smaller scale.

When I learned of Bourdain’s suicide almost one month ago, I wrote what I hoped was a worthy tribute on Facebook, and Ricky included my piece among other local culinary luminaries on his food blog, Tasty Chomps. I was honored to be included among well-known chefs and much better-known food writers. So here’s his compilation of eulogies from several different writers, including mine:

http://tastychomps.com/2018/07/in-memoriam-orlando-remembers-anthony-bourdain.html

Bosphorous

On Sunday evening, I met a friend at Bosphorous, the beautiful Turkish restaurant on Park Avenue in Winter Park. (https://www.bosphorousrestaurant.com/) It is one of my favorite restaurants in Orlando, and it never disappoints. This time was no exception.

My friend had never been there before; I suggested it because she is vegetarian, and other vegetarian friends I’ve brought there thought they died and went to heaven, with all the delicious options to choose from.

We shared the mixed appetizer platter with puffy lavas bread, which is almost a requirement when you eat there. The soft, pita-like bread will arrive at your table puffed up with hot air, and you need to pierce it with fork tines to deflate it to avoid being burned. Then rip off pieces and go to town with the cool, refreshing dips in the platter.

I have said that everything tastes better in sandwich or dip form, and these dips are among the finest around. The platter also comes with one of Bosphorous’ stuffed grape leaves, sliced in two, and a few kalamata olives and cornichons (tiny pickles, which I love, even though I’m normally not big on pickles). You have to order the lavas bread separately, but you’ll regret it if you don’t!

One of my favorites is the savory tomato and sauteed eggplant dip called soslu patlican. I could eat a whole jar of that stuff in no time. I should really learn how to make it myself! The platter also includes babaganoush (smoked eggplant dip), tabbuli (similar to couscous), ezme (a spicy salsa-like dip with tomatoes, onions, jalapenos and other peppers, and walnuts), and haydari (a thick, creamy yogurt dip with walnuts).

My absolute favorite, which my wife loves too, is taramosalata, which is a creamy, salty, fish roe concoction. Unfortunately, it wasn’t included this time, replaced with a thin, creamy dip called cacik, with yogurt, cucumber, mint, and dill. (My brilliant brother, one of my most loyal readers, suggested cacik might be etymologically related to the similar Greek yogurt sauce tzatziki, and he’s probably right!) I guess without the taramosalata, the whole platter is vegetarian, so that makes some sense. It doesn’t even seem to be on the menu anymore!

If you don’t want to spring for the whole platter, you can always order any of these dips separately, but for first-time diners, I strongly recommend trying them all, so you can pick out the ones you like best. My least-favorite is the hummus, because it’s just plain hummus, which I eat all the time. I wonder if they let you mix and match. It never occurred to me to ask!

While my wife and I usually share the mixed appetizer platter and an order of doner kebap (similar to gyro meat, and served on a bed of rich and buttery rice pilaf, perfect for wrapping up in the lavas bread), this time I tried something new to me: the lahmacun, which is like Turkish pizza — flatbreads that were at once both crispy and soft, covered with ground lamb in a piquant sauce. It comes accompanied by shredded, pickled red cabbage, beets, and red onions (love it!), plus some mixed greens and sliced tomatoes. You put the vegetables on the lahmacun half-moons, pour on a little of the incredible vinaigrette dressing, fold it, and eat it like a sandwich. I loved it.

My friend ordered the spinach and feta pide, a pastry “boat” that was warm and soft, stuffed with sauteed spinach and melty, cheesy goodness, topped with sliced tomatoes. She was suitably impressed.

Unfortunately, my wife was down for the count with a migraine to end all migraines, which is the only reason she didn’t join us for dinner. But I ordered another mixed appetizer platter and a whole lavas bread to bring home to her, which she appreciated. (Except they forgot the stuffed grape leaves on this one — First World Problems Alert!) This is one of the ways you make a marriage work, you guys.

CLOSED: Blue Jacket Grille

NOTE: Sadly, Blue Jacket Grille closed in September 2020.

Occasionally you’ll see posts titled “Ring the Alarm!,” so you’ll know onion ring reviews are coming. I love onion rings, and I’m always on a quest for good ones. Sadly, there are a lot of mediocre-to-bad onion rings out there. Yesterday, I had some of the best around.

***

Yesterday I had a working lunch with two of my co-workers and our supervisor. We went to the nautical- and Navy-themed Blue Jacket Grille (https://bluejacketgrille.com/), moments from work. It’s so great to have this relatively new restaurant close at hand. This was my fourth visit in about six months, and the food has yet to disappoint.

I almost always order a burger there, and not just any burger, but the Pimento Cheese burger, which comes with a fried green tomato slice, and of course, what Mike Ehrmantraut referred to as the “caviar of the South” on Better Call Saul: pimento cheese. I became obsessed with pimento cheese after trying it on one of the best burgers of my life at the Stock and Barrel in Knoxville, Tennessee, back in 2013. Orlando has some mighty fine pimento purveyors, including Blue Jacket Grille, The Coop, Se7enbites, and Swine and Sons. I make my own now, too. Just like chili, meatloaf, and salsa, everyone’s version is different, but it’s hard to go wrong.

Also, this burger comes on marble rye, but I always request it on a soft brioche bun instead. They cook it medium rare, as most tasty burgers should be cooked, and automatically serve it with lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickle, as most tasty burgers should be served.

And of course, because I love onion rings enough to make Ring the Alarm! a regular feature on The Saboscrivner, I got onion rings as my side with the burger. The choice was a no-brainer; these are some of the best onion rings in town. Golden-fried, beer-battered, not overly greasy, not too thick or too thin, the onion doesn’t come whipping out of the breading to whack you in the face — they’re perfect in every way. Definitely in the top five best onion rings in town. I had already turned one of my co-workers onto these rings, and I was pleased to note that she and our supervisor split an order of their own.

Blue Jacket Grille is in the former location of the Smiling Bison (now in Sanford), and Redlight, Redlight (now in Audubon Park) before that, on Bennett just north of Colonial. It’s a nice little neighborhood place, with everything you’d expect to find on a sports bar or family restaurant menu, just done better than most. I’d rather eat here than the Ale House, Chili’s, or most other restaurants of that style any day. They also have really terrific beer cheese, which comes with lightly-toasted pretzel slices, and if you want tots, they will bring you a HUGE basket of tots. There are TVs all over the walls, mostly tuned to sports, if you can’t eat without that. They have trivia nights on Tuesdays and karaoke nights some other night, which I have every intention of making it to some day. I love both, but nobody else I know does. Cue the sad trombone for me!