Sofrito Latin Cafe

Sofrito Latin Cafe (https://www.sofritocafe.com/) features familiar dishes (and a few more esoteric ones) from eight countries: Cuba, Colombia, Venezuela, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Argentina, Peru, and Brazil.  It is located at 8607 Palm Parkway, Orlando, FL 32836, in the Lake Buena Vista area near Disney Springs — way out of my usual radius.

Last weekend, however, I met two out-of-state friends there for lunch: a cat-loving badass with his own hardcore/punk/metal record label, Absolute Contempt Records, and his partner, an accomplished and brilliant art history professor.  They were exhausted after a week at Disney World and getting ready for the long drive home, and they wanted some good Cuban food before leaving Orlando, since it isn’t available anywhere in their small college town.  They actually discovered Sofrito, which was close and convenient, but I had never heard of it, since I’m never on that side of town.  It ended up being the perfect place to meet and catch up before they hit the road.

Like many other fast casual establishments have started doing, you order and pay on touchscreens at the front of the restaurant, then your food is delivered to your table.

My one friend has a real sweet tooth, and I was living vicariously through his social media photos of the food they were eating at Disney all week.  He ordered himself a virgin piña colada and a coconut flan, which they brought out before all the rest of our food.  For most, flan is a dessert, but for this dude, flan was an appetizer!

His partner ordered this Cuban pernil sandwich, with roast pork marinated in cilantro-garlic mojo criollo on pressed Cuban bread.  They shared the sandwich and fries, which cost extra.

He ordered himself this Venezuelan arepa de pabellon, a corn patty stuffed with shredded beef (similar to Cuban ropa vieja), black beans, crumbled white cheese, and a sweet plantain, which I write about often enough that my dozens of readers probably know them as maduros by now.

And speaking of sweet plantains, I ordered a unique Venezuelan sandwich for myself: this beautiful patacon de maduro.  Instead of bread, this sandwich of the same shredded beef, white cheese, chopped lettuce, diced tomatoes, and cilantro-garlic sauce was (barely) held together between two flattened and fried sweet plantains!  This was a “knife-and-forker” sandwich for sure; there was no picking it up.
That little ramekin in the photo above is Dijon mustard, which they serve their Cuban sandwiches with.

Here’s an inside view.  I think it could have used far more tomatoes and cilantro-garlic sauce, and some onions would have been nice, but it was still good, and the Dijon helped add some necessary acidity and spice to this patacon de maduro.    I am proud to report I got two meals out of this!

Sofrito Latin Cafe had a nice menu with plenty of choices to please anyone, and all the food we tried was solid.  It would be a convenient place to stop into occasionally if it was anywhere near me, but because it is almost an hour away, I don’t know when or if I’ll ever return.  But for anyone who lives on that side of town, or any tourists who dare to venture out of the parks and want an authentic sampling of all the diverse Latin culinary cultures in Orlando, it would be a fantastic destination — affordable, fast, welcoming, and plenty of variety.

Chima Steakhouse

“Who is the gaucho, amigo?
Why is he standing
In your spangled leather poncho
And your elevator shoes?
Bodacious cowboys
Such as your friend
Will never be welcome here
High in the Custerdome.”

–“Gaucho” (1980), written by Donald Fagen and Walter Becker, performed by Steely Dan.

If you’ve ever been to an all-you-can-eat Brazilian steakhouse (commonly called churrascarias), you are familiar with the servers (commonly called gauchos, named after Brazilian and Argentinian cowboys) showing up at your table with a never-ending parade of grilled meats on swords and serving whatever you request, as many times as you wish.  While the titular gaucho in Steely Dan’s song was a garishly clad, unwelcome weirdo, the gauchos at these restaurants are a welcome sight, and they will seduce you with steak, beguile you with beef, and charm you with chicken.

Chima Steakhouse (https://chimasteakhouse.com/), located at 7830 West Sand Lake Road on Orlando’s “Restaurant Row,” is one of these Brazilian churrascarias, similar in concept to international chains Texas de Brazil and Fogo de Chao and Orlando’s locally owned and operated Adega Gaucha and Boi Brazil.  They are all decadent experiences, where you can eat like a king until you get the meat sweats, but I can’t eat like I used to, back in my 20s.  (Shame, because I have a much better budget now to treat myself to dining out.)

But my favorite part of all the all-you-can-eat Brazilian steakhouses, even moreso than the gauchos and their tireless meat delivery system, is the sumptuous salad bar all these restaurants have in common.  As if nonstop meats weren’t enough of a draw, they also offer a variety of fresh salads and house-made dressings, fresh, roasted, grilled, marinated, and pickled vegetables, fresh fruit, hot rice and potato dishes, prepared salads (Chima has a mayo-based potato salad with chicken and a quinoa salad, among others), Brazil’s beloved national dish feijoada (a black bean stew full of beef and pork, which you top with toasted yuca flour called farofa), smoked salmon, fine imported cheeses, fancy cured meats, and more.  And you know your friendly neighborhood Saboscrivner — some of my favorite foods in the whole world are smoked salmon, cheese, and cured meats!

Chima’s salad bar is top-tier.  Here you see their gorgeous platter of folded slices of melt-in-your-mouth cold-smoked salmon, perfect and untouched since we got there right when the restaurant first opened for lunch.  In the top left, you see their chilled kani and mango salad, kani being the sweet and tender surimi, or “krab” you may have enjoyed in California rolls.  Below that is their seafood salad, which includes shrimp, scallops, tender squid rings, grape tomatoes, red onions, celery, and capers, tossed in a light and refreshing vinaigrette dressing.  I loved all of this, especially on a hot September day.

And of course, I couldn’t leave these delectable cured meats behind!  Not when there are thin slices of peppery Genoa salami, rich and salty prosciutto, and tender, fluffy mortadella with pistachios to choose from.  I’m a shark when it comes to charcuterie. 

And these were paper-thin slices of beef carpaccio, served chilled, topped with pesto sauce, grated Parmigiano Reggiano cheese, and capers.  This was another hit, as far as I’m concerned.

By the way, during the week, if you just get the salad bar at lunch, it is only $20 per person, which I consider one of the best deals in town, with all of this bounty.  I don’t get many weekdays off work, but you better believe I will return to take advantage of that deal.  My wife and I went to Chima on a Saturday with the salad bar on our minds first and foremost, but we found out that on the weekends, the salad bar costs $36.  However, for lunch, the complete churrascaria experience is $54 — much cheaper than it is at dinnertime — so for an additional $18, we decided to treat ourselves and go for the meat as well.  We don’t go to these places often, but I was happy to try as many things as I did.  And this way, I can offer my dozens of readers a more thorough and detailed review!  Yes, I did this for YOU.  You’re welcome!

This was my plate of salad bar goodness, with all of the above, plus fresh mozzarella and gouda cheeses, sun-dried tomatoes, roasted garlic, orzo pasta salad with pesto, and what they had labeled as “Brazilian vinaigrette,” that reminded me of a pico de gallo with all the finely chopped multicolored vegetables.

When we first sat down, our jocular server brought us this pao de queijo, Brazilian cheese bread that is always a little chewy and gummy.  My wife absolutely loves these, but I gotta admit, for a fella who loves bread and cheese and especially cheese on or in bread, they don’t do much for me.  It’s a texture thing, as well as having my buffet-loving dad’s voice in my head, sharing his wisdom, cautioning me “DON’T FILL UP ON BREAD!”

The pao de queijo were soon joined by cinnamon-dusted fried bananas (top right), creamy mashed potatoes (bottom left; neither of us messed with this), and fried polenta (bottom right).  I had a piece of the fried polenta just to try it, since none of the other Brazilian steakhouses serve these; it was okay, but I won’t bother with them in the future.  The bananas were my favorite, but I would have preferred them a little caramelized with sugar rather than cinnamon, like my beloved maduros. 

These days, I mostly eat lean meats at home: chicken breasts (boring, but healthy), lean pork loin (a blank canvas for infinite variations), and ground turkey, which I usually make into meatloaf or chili.  I hardly eat beef at all anymore, especially because it is so expensive these days, but I figured I would go hard on protein and take advantage of Chima’s offerings.

The very first meat that was delivered to our table was filet mignon.  Our server asked us how we like our meat, and we both said rare, so all the gauchos were very conscious of only bringing us rare cuts of beef.  (Luckily, they didn’t deliver us any rare chicken.)  While I failed to photograph the filet, it was so incredibly tender.  I almost never eat steak, and especially not filet, but I was impressed by the almost buttery texture.

Next up, I tried both cuts of chicken Chima offered: grilled chicken thigh marinated in their house-made aji sauce, and a beer-marinated chicken drumstick.  Usually I skip the chicken at these Brazilian churrascarias, because it tends to be on the bland side (and it’s cheaper than beef, so they  walk the chicken around more often, hoping you’ll fill up on it), but these were amazing.  I could have happily made a meal of just these two kinds of chicken.That is rare flank steak on the right, which was delicious, but much tougher than the perfect filet.

I held off on eating the next few meat deliveries so I could take a pretty picture for y’all.  That’s how much I care.  On the left, carnivores will recognize the famous Brazilian picanha, or top sirloin, which is a standard at these sorts of places.  On the top, you have a rich, fatty, tender cut of beef rib (costilla), cut right off the huge bone.  This is my favorite cut of beef at churrascarias, and it is one of my wife’s favorites too.  Next to it are two different Brazilian sausages.  Most of these restaurants just offer the more pinkish-hued savory sausage on the bottom, but Chima also had a cheddar sausage (on the top), full of melty cheddar cheese that oozed out when I cut into it.  I really enjoyed that one.On the right, you can see marinated and grilled shrimp, which I’ve never noticed at Texas de Brazil, Fogo de Chao, or Adega Gaucha.  These were also terrific.  And in the middle, those lovely things are grilled slices of Brazilian coalho cheese, topped with a little honey.  These were so nice as palate-cleansers between the various rich and salty meats.  Adega Gaucha and Boi Brazil serve this cheese with a thick and sticky guava sauce, which I honestly prefer, but they were great with the honey.  When the honey hit that Brazilian sausage, it was also a flavor sensation, reminding me of how Special Agent Dale Cooper loved it when maple syrup collided with ham on his breakfast plate on Twin Peaks.

These were slices of pineapple, grilled and covered with cinnamon, which served as a nice, light dessert after all that heaviness.  I love pineapple in any form, or pineapple-flavored anything, but this was another rare time when I preferred the more caramelized, less cinnamony grilled pineapple at Adega Gaucha.

Neither of us had expected to have such a huge and heavy lunch when we headed down to Chima, but faced with paying $36 for the salad bar versus $54 for the full experience, I think we made the right call.  I’d do it again, but honestly, I am much more likely to return on one of my rare weekdays off from work, so I can take advantage of that gourmet salad bar for the low, low price of $20.

How would I rare Chima compared to the four other Brazilian churrascarias I’ve been to?  Well, I’ve never gotten around to reviewing Fogo de Chao (after four visits) or Boi Brazil (after one visit that will probably be my only one).  I think Adega Gaucha was my favorite of all of them, and I can’t say anything bad about it, but I honestly think Chima might be my new favorite, and my wife agrees, having been to all of them except Fogo.  The atmosphere at Chima was incredibly nice, and the service was top-notch.  I appreciated how they remembered our preference for rare steak and how they took requests, like when we asked about the beef rib.  They were also forthcoming with the better cuts of meat, even though I actually loved the chicken here.  A lot of the other restaurants walk around a lot with a parmesan-crusted pork loin that I always find to be very dry, but nobody even approached us with that one at Chima.

I think I liked all the meats here the best for one major reason: they were much less salty than all of their competitors, which is another reason I like doing the salad bars alone so much.  I like meat, I like salt, but most of their rivals oversalt the meats like crazy.  Not Chima.  Everything was seasoned and cooked perfectly.  That chicken!  That shrimp!  That filet!  Those sausages!  And yes, the salad bar was unparalleled.  I give Chima my Saboscrivner Seal of Superiority, and I know I’ll be back at some point.  (It’s across town from us, but maybe that’s a good thing, so I’m not tempted to try again tomorrow.)

Chain Reactions: Philly Pretzel Factory

Philly Pretzel Factory (https://phillypretzelfactory.com/) is a chain of soft pretzel bakeries that two Philadelphia guys started 25 years ago.  The website doesn’t make it easy to see a complete list of locations, but as of this writing, there are two in Florida — one that opened recently right near me in Casselberry, and another further south in Palm Beach Gardens.  However, more are coming to Orlando’s Kia Center, Winter Garden, Cocoa Beach, South Tampa, and Cape Coral, and their pretzels are also available at Big Dave’s Cheesesteaks in Oviedo and Orlando’s SoDo neighborhood.  (I haven’t tried Big Dave’s yet because I already have my favorite place for cheesesteaks in all of Florida).

But just for the heck of it, I searched for locations within 200 miles of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and 150 showed up, so there may be a Philly Pretzel Factory near you, wherever you are — or one might be coming soon, in any case.

When I visited the Casselberry shop the week it opened, the lady working was kind enough to offer me a free pretzel right away!  I don’t think I’m a special person or anything; she probably offers everyone one.  But since I was coming in to purchase a pretzel, I happily accepted.  This is what five of them look like, and they pull apart easily. 
The pretzels are somewhat soft, but on the dense side.  If you’ve been to a Wawa (another Philadelphia import; my favorite convenience stores in the Orlando area, which serve surprisingly solid hoagies and other fresh food), they sell really similar dense pretzels.  As an aside, we used to buy frozen Deutsche Kuche pretzels at Aldi, imported from Germany.  I must admit that after baking those in the toaster oven, they are a lot softer and fluffier than Philly Pretzel Factory or Wawa.

Thinking of my wife back home, as I always do, I thought she might like the cinnamon “rivets,” pretzel nuggets coated with cinnamon and sugar.  Unfortunately, they only sell them in these large shaker cups.  She didn’t really care for them, and I’m more of a savory pretzel person, so I literally rinsed the cinnamon and sugar off each one, dried them carefully, and used them for my own savory (never unsavory!) purposes.

I couldn’t resist the allure of these pretzel poppers, which are stuffed with Philly cheesesteak — sliced and chopped steak and Cooper Sharp white American cheese, which has become my favorite cheese for burgers, grilled cheese sandwiches, breakfast sandwiches, and of course cheesesteaks.  American cheese is already great for any melting purposes, and I like the tanginess of Cooper Sharp more than any other brands I’ve tried.  If you’re stuck in the mindset that American cheese is all gross plastic-wrapped, highly processed “cheese food,” think again!

They come in an order of three, and here’s a cross-section:These were far superior to the plain pretzel, and so much more unhealthy!

Because I am also a mark for spicy sausages, I couldn’t turn down a spicy pretzel sausage on my first visit:

And here it is, cut in half.  I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was essentially a hot dog inside, just a little thicker and slightly spicier than a normal hot dog.  But it paired well with…

Mustard!  Philly Pretzel Factory sells four kinds of mustard in squeeze bottles, and they have little dipping cups for those who aren’t obsessive-compulsive mustard collectors like your humble narrator.  I skipped the original yellow and honey mustards, but I bought bottles of the spicy brown and super hot mustards.  How were they?  You’re going to have to wait for my next installment of Cutting the Mustard, my massive mustard mega-reviews, to find out!

So did I like Philly Pretzel Factory?  Sure!  They were so nice, and I rarely regret trying anything new and novel.  I was a little disappointed that the regular pretzels are almost identical to the ones at Wawa, in all their denseness.  But I was happy to try the Philly cheesesteak-stuffed pretzel poppers and even the spicy pretzel sausage, and I’m always thrilled to discover new mustards to sample and review.  But at the end of the day, my greatest soft pretzel experience remains a different chain, one you probably recognize from malls and airports: Auntie Anne’s.  I love their buttery goodness above all!  Maybe one day I’ll review them.

Guelaguetza (Los Angeles)

Guelaguetza (https://www.ilovemole.com/) is an Oaxacan Mexican restaurant in L.A.’s Koreatown, founded by chef-owner Bricia Lopez.  I first became aware of her as one of the guests on celebrity chef David Chang’s Netflix series Dinner Time Live, where he cooks for famous friends on an actual live (recorded) show from a set somewhere in L.A.  She was vivacious and telegenic, with a big, fun personality.  It almost seemed like she was auditioning for a cooking show of her own without even trying, and she really should get one.  I had never heard of her before, but I thought she had everything it takes to become a household name.  I looked Bricia Lopez up online, found out her parents founded Guelaguetza in 1994, they serve ancient family recipes, and she has even authored two Oaxacan cookbooks.  After reading the menu, I had been wanting to go there ever since.

I actually work and stay in Koreatown on my occasional work trips to L.A., but I mapped out the route, and it was too far to walk from either my work site or my hotel, and public transportation wouldn’t take me there easily.  Plus, I knew if I went there solo, there were so many things I would want to try, and the main thing I wanted would just be too much for a single diner.  I honestly don’t eat as much as I used to, I swear!  But I’m writing this review the day I had lunch at Guelaguetza with two of my wonderful local work colleagues.  I had been bugging them to go out to lunch with me, of course I had a list of suggestions, and this place was the most appealing to everyone.  It was the first time for all of us, and needless to say, everyone was thrilled.

We all ordered sparkling aguas frescas: lemon (left) and passion fruit (right).  I am deeply skeptical of any Mexican restaurants that don’t offer aguas frescas in at least a couple of different flavors.  I admit I like them better when they aren’t sparkling, but they were still nice and refreshing.  No free refills, though.

Freshly fried tortilla chips weren’t salted, but they were nice and crunchy and not too greasy.  They were topped with crumbled queso fresco and a thick, rich dark red sauce I figured was a type of mole.  It wasn’t spicy, but it was very savory and had a hint of chocolate.  More on that later, I swear!

My colleague suggested we order the molcajete de guacamole Oaxaqueño.  It wasn’t made tableside, but that’s really not necessary for me.  It was thinner guacamole than I’m used to, but it was so fresh and bright-tasting, with fresh lime, topped with cilantro, serrano peppers, diced tomatoes, and crumbled queso fresco, and it came with another order of (plain) chips.My well-traveled colleague said an authentic molcajete (the mortar bowl that guacamole and salsa are often mixed and served in, usually made of volcanic basalt rock) would have been in the shape of a pig, but that was news to me.  As a Florida Man, I’ve eaten plenty of Mexican food, but I’ve never seen a pig-shaped molcajete at any of our Mexican restaurants.  Of course, I’ve never found a Oaxacan restaurant anywhere in Florida!

This massive platter was the tlayuda Guelaguetza.  A tlayuda is a 15” crispy corn tortilla, handmade in Oaxaca from heirloom corn and grilled over fire.   It was layered with bean and chicharrón spread (mmmm, pork rinds), shredded cabbage, quesillo (salty shredded Oaxacan cheese), queso fresco (crumbled fresh cheese), pork cecina, pork chorizo, and beef tasajo.  The tlayuda itself was cut into slices like a pizza to make it easier to eat, and we just shared the meats. 

This is the pork cecina, pork loin that is rubbed or marinated in chile paste, pounded very thin, and air-dried before being grilled.  It was a bit dry, but it had so much flavor.

The chorizo sausage on the left may not be the most appetizing-looking, but it was one of my favorite things we tried at this sumptuous lunch.  Each round link was dark red on the inside, firm and slightly crumbly, and they could be easily cut or pulled apart.  It was much less greasy than any other Mexican chorizo I’ve ever had (I love chorizo, but it always drenches everything in orange grease, except this one), and the outer casing had a nice snappiness.  The beef tasajo on the right was salt-cured, pounded thin, air-dried, and grilled.  It tasted like really good carne asada, but was closer in consistency to high-quality beef jerky (just not as dry).

The thing I had been dying to try ever since discovering Chef Lopez and Guelaguetza was the Festival de Moles, a sampler of four different moles, the specialty of the house.  But that would be way too much food for one man, especially staying in a hotel room.  I was thrilled that my colleagues decided to join me, so we could share all this deliciousness.  The moles came on a long wooden serving board in four separate bowls that were all a lot deeper than they first appeared to be.  These first two were laden with pieces of boneless pork spare ribs.  On the left you see mole rojo, a “rich, spiced red mole featuring chilhuacle rojo and ancho chiles, heirloom tomatoes, toasted almonds, peanuts, sesame seeds, and aromatic spices.”  Despite the chiles, it was more savory than spicy.On the right you see mole estofado, a “mild almond-based mole balanced with raisins, olives, and pickled jalapeños, creating a uniquely sweet and savory profile.”  I didn’t fully read these descriptions until after we ate, so I never would have guessed it was almond-based, but I can tell you I’ve never had anything quite like it.  I thought the raisins and olives were interesting additions, especially because both of them end up in Cuban picadillo, a seasoned ground beef dish that otherwise has nothing in common with mole estofado, or any mole.

These other two moles came stuffed with shredded chicken breast.  On the left, you see mole negro, Guelaguetza’s “signature smoky black mole crafted from chilhuacle negro, ancho chiles, toasted almonds, peanuts, sesame seeds, and traditional spices.”  This was another banger.  On the right, you see mole coloradito, the same mole served on our complimentary chips at the beginning of the meal.  It is a “sweet and mildly spicy mole with guajillo chiles, toasted almonds, peanuts, sesame seeds, spices, and a subtle hint of chocolate.”

Damn, son.  I’ve tried a few mole dishes in my lifetime, but only ever thought they were okay.  I’ve even bought a jarred, pre-made version that was terrible.  I don’t think I could even finish the jar, which hurts, because I hate wasting food, but I couldn’t do it.  But these four moles were not just streets ahead, but worlds apart.  They were so rich and complex, I have never tasted anything like them, and I doubt I ever will again.  If you go to Guelaguetza, I strongly recommend ordering one of these moles, or ideally, drag friends and share this Festival de Moles.

Even the veggie rice that came with our Festival of Moles was delicious, although we couldn’t finish it.

My other colleague ordered something else I had my eye on: the memelita sampler with five memelitas, small corn tortillas each topped individually with chicharrón spread and queso fresco, with additional different toppings on each one.  From left to right, they were topped with pork cecina, nopal (cactus) salad, beef tasajo, quesillo (fresh, shredded, salty Oaxacan cheese, with the consistency of mozzarella string cheese), and papa con chorizo (diced potatoes with crumbled sausage), kind of like corned beef hash, but so much more flavorful.   
I ended up eating most of the nopal salad memelita, and it was wonderful. Again, I’ve had pickled nopal cactus from Florida taqueria salsa bars and even out of a can, but these were fresh, and there is nothing quite like them, especially combined with the flavor of fresh diced tomatoes on top.  They reminded me a bit of fiddlehead ferns, but maybe just texture-wise.

My female colleague’s birthday was the next day, so of course I had to mention it to our server.  He brought her a complimentary piece of flan with a candle and three spoons, and we serenaded her with “Feliz cumpleaños a ti” (or “Happy birthday to you” in Spanish).  I’m not a flan guy — never have been, even after growing up in Miami — but even I could appreciate this rich, decadent flan. 

So anyway, that’s how you should do Guelaguetza.  The three of us ordered a lot of food and still ended up with a bunch of leftovers, most of which I schlepped back to my hotel room, since at least I have a fridge and a microwave here.  It wouldn’t have been the same going alone, especially because I would not have been able to try so many of Chef Bricia Lopez’s mind-blowing Oaxacan dishes.  And the way the three of us ordered, I think we really maximized being able to taste as many different things on the menu as possible.  Props to them for having such good taste and being willing to share.  Plus, these two are always great company, and I’m grateful to be able to work with them and see them two or three times a year.

Several publications have named Guelaguetza one of the best restaurants in Koreatown, one of the best Mexican restaurants in all of L.A., and one of the best Oaxacan restaurants in the world, if not the best.  It deserves all of those fabulous superlatives and more, and it’s a huge, festive, fun place — perfect for a celebratory dinner or just a weekday lunch with co-workers you actually like.  Angelenos have no shortage of Mexican restaurants to choose from, but in my three years of traveling out to L.A., I am sure I’ve tried two of the best in the city: Holbox and now Guelaguetza.

Wine 4 Oysters

Wine 4 Oysters (https://www.wine4oysters.com/) is a friendly neighborhood restaurant and bar with a nautical theme and a seafood-centric menu.  It has been on my radar for years, but it’s in East Orlando, at 1957 South Alafaya Trail in the Publix plaza, south of the sprawling Waterford Lakes shopping plaza and State Road 408, in a part of town I NEVER go to, so I had never made it… until two weeks ago.  I timed my visit with my wife for 4 PM on a very rare Friday off, to be there when Wine 4 Oysters opens, snag one of their few booths, and take advantage of their happy hour specials.

This is the counter.  I appreciate any blue decor in restaurants, which I find soothing and comforting. 

Here is the opposite side of the dining room.  There are two half-booths in the very front, up against the front window that lets in lots of natural light, and you can see the one other half-booth in the back. 

We both studied the menu in advance, but my wife was more prepared than I.  She knew exactly what she wanted, and she defaulted to two time-tested favorite dishes.  The first one was baked brie, which came in a ramekin, melty and warm, topped with walnuts.  They served it with toasted bread, cranberry sauce, and apple wedges on the side.  I love cheese, but brie honestly does nothing for me, so this was all her.  She doesn’t eat a lot, so she brought quite a bit of this home to enjoy the next day.

As for me, I love oysters, but they are such a rare treat for me.  I realize I haven’t had oysters in well over a year, but we’ve been dealing with some very stressful health-related situations lately, and I also had some good things happen at work that we haven’t had a chance to celebrate or even acknowledge.  Since we were finally at Wine 4 Oysters during their happy hour, I said “screw it” (actually, I said something a little more adult) and ordered 30 plump Gulf oysters for the excellent price of $35.  My wife doesn’t like raw oysters, so I ate them all myself… and I’d do it again.  They were so cool and refreshing, and so far, I am not regretting it. 

The oysters came with accompaniments: the lemon wedges and cocktail sauce above, plus hot sauce, a French mignonette with shallots in red wine vinegar, a different mignonette with jalapenos and lemon, and grated horseradish in the cylindrical container.  I tried them all in various combinations and permutations, and it was nice.  It was just nice being there, out on a rare Friday date with my wife, who has been through so much lately, enjoying a huge platter of one of my favorite “sometimes foods,” going through the ritual of topping them with various acidic accoutrements to enhance their fresh, briny flavor.

At happy hour (which is 4 to 6 PM, Monday through Friday), in addition to the 30 Gulf oysters for $35, Wine 4 Oysters also offers 30% off James River oysters from Virginia, oyster shooters, and cocktails.  And on Wednesdays, I believe they run an all-you-can-drink wine special, so bohemians, wine moms, and UCF students, just be careful, that’s all I ask.

I am always a sucker for smoked fish dip, that Old Florida standard that has infinite variations, but it’s almost always great.  Like Italian subs, chili, and onion rings, I will almost always order smoked fish dip if I see it on a menu, so I was immediately drawn to the house smoked tuna dip at Wine 4 Oysters.  It was presented as a large scoop over a spring mix salad with wasabi dressing, accompanied by long, thin, unsalted flatbread-style crackers (Sixty Vines serves similar ones).  I was a little disappointed that the “dip” was more like the consistency of tuna salad, rather than a creamy dip.  It tasted good because I happen to like tuna salad a lot, but it wasn’t what I expected or hoped for.  I blame myself rather than the restaurant.  The taste and texture made me think it was made from regular canned tuna fish rather than ahi tuna or some other higher-grade tuna.  I’ve made similar-tasting tuna salad at home, sometimes with a splash (or more) of liquid smoke, so even though it was fine, and I ate every morsel, it didn’t blow me away.

One thing my wife will always order on a menu is octopus.  She loves those tender, brainy cephalopods!  This lemon garlic octopus came with one large, heavily seasoned, super-garlicky tentacle, plus a mountain of white rice with some seasoning on top, a scoop of relatively thin baba ghanoush, and a mixed greens salad with pomegranate dressing, probably made from pomegranate molasses.  She loves baba ghanoush too (and she orders that anywhere it is available), so this was a winning combination for her. That said, since she was pretty full from the baked brie and doesn’t eat that much to begin with, she only tried a tiny bit of the octopus at the restaurant.  We (mostly she) brought home a bunch of leftovers, and she had more of the octopus the following day, just chilled, straight out of the fridge.  She said it was much tastier the following day, eaten cold!

Finally, I thought we would both enjoy the Russian beef pelmeni dumplings, and we did.  They were pretty much what I hoped for, with thin, chewy dumpling wrappers, similar to Chinese wontons and the wonderful, beautiful manty dumplings we enjoyed so much recently at Uzbek restaurant Chayhana, but with seasoned beef filling.  They were served in a pool of melted butter and topped with a dollop of rich sour cream and plenty of parsley.  Both of us enjoyed these quite a bit.  I don’t know if they were handmade (because you can buy frozen pelmeni from multiple brands at Green Hills Supermarket, the huge Russian and Eastern European grocery store in Altamonte Springs), but it doesn’t matter, because they might have been my favorite part of the entire meal. 

I don’t know when I’ll make it back to Wine 4 Oysters, but it’s the kind of place more people should know about, so here I am, boosting the signal.  I love oysters so much, and even though I’ll always sing the praises of High Tide Harry’s and The Osprey, two of my favorite restaurants in the entire Orlando metropolitan area, it is always good to have options.  Wine 4 Oysters is another fine oyster option, especially for people living on the east side of town.

Cutting the Mustard V: What Are Ya, YELLOW?

I love mustard.  As far as I’m concerned, it is a perfect condiment, especially because there are so many styles and infinite subtle variations to choose from.  At the start of 2026, I officially started trying to lose weight by eating smaller portions and eating healthier in general, which includes fewer restaurant meals.  Mustard has been a godsend for jazzing up the simple, everyday, high-protein, low-fat foods I’ve been preparing in different ways to stave off boredom and blandness: chicken breast, lean pork loin, turkey, and of course sardines and other tinned seafood.  No matter if you’re eating the leanest, dryest chicken breast there is or a juicy, fatty, salty, decadent cut of meat, almost any savory dish can be improved by introducing an acidic component, and that’s where mustard really shines.

For my first-ever Cutting the Mustard back in 2021, I reviewed seven different mustards.  In 2022, I raised the stakes by reviewing ten different mustards in Cutting the Mustard II: The Search for More Mustard.  In 2024, I went above and beyond by reviewing 26 mustards (making up for skipping 2023) in Cutting the Mustard III: Mustardy Agreement.  Last year’s Cutting the Mustard IV: Mustard on the Beat included a whopping 18 new mustards.  And now, following my arbitrary tradition of posting these on Memorial Day weekend, we’re going to try this again!

I am opening with organic Dijon mustard from Whole Foods’ 365 private label.  I almost never use Dijon mustard by itself, on sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, or anything else.  For me, Dijon is more of an ingredient.  I put a little into my homemade Caesar dressing, and whenever I roast lamb chops, I rub them down with Dijon.  But I tried a little on this Deutsche Kuche (pronounced “douche cooch”) Bavarian soft pretzel stick from Aldi, for the sake of this mustard mega-review, and it was good. 

The next two mustards were random finds at Big Lots, a store that specialized in random finds, like close-outs from other retailers.  Sadly, all the Big Lots locations closed over a year ago, but it was a neat place to browse, especially for interesting chips, sodas, and international foods.  I had never heard of the Morehouse brand, and I’ve never seen them anywhere else before or since.  For some people, that would be a few red flags right away, but for me, it was “Challenge accepted!”

I keep striking out with German mustards, even though Germany is a pretty big country for mustard consumption.  I never like the ones Aldi brings back twice a year for their German weeks, and I thought this Morehouse German mustard was kind of bland and forgettable on the same Aldi pretzel stick.  I would not buy it again, not that I could even if I wanted to.

The Morehouse horseradish mustard was brighter and spicier, so of course I liked it a lot more on this pretzel stick.  (Saboscrivner secret: I usually get multiple mustard shots out of a single “douche cooch” pretzel stick.  I haven’t been eating a whole pretzel with each mustard I sample and photograph!)  Anyway, I always like the sinus-clearing flavor and heat of horseradish, especially in mustard.  Stay tuned for more horseradish mustards that are even better!

I forgot where I found the Silver Spring chipotle mustard (left) and Beer’n Brat mustard (right) in Orlando.  Maybe Petty’s Meats, a bougie grocer in Longwood?  I’ve had very similar mustards from other brands before, but both were perfectly fine with the same soft pretzel.  The chipotle is very mild, spice-wise, but had a decent smoky, acidic kick. 
One of my favorite people in the world, a friend who is a true foodie and intrepid traveler, brought me the Lars Swedish Style spicy brown mustard (in the middle), and it was a standard Gulden’s-esque spicy brown, but I enjoyed it quite a lot.  I know it made it into a couple of batches of chicken salad that I make with Costco rotisserie chickens.

The same friend also brought me another Lars Swedish Style mustard.  This is the mild & sweet variety, which was a pleasant, middle-of-the-road mustard, but luckily not too sweet.  A lot of honey mustards are cloyingly sweet to me, and I am never okay with a “dessert mustard.”  This was a safe and solid choice for roast pork loin sandwiches and the like.   

Publix, Florida’s ubiquitous supermarket chain, where shopping is a pleasure for almost everyone but me, started carrying Mike’s Amazing mustards about a year ago, and they have even put them on BOGO sale a few times.  It’s a relatively cheap mustard as it is, usually around $1.99.  I bought two at my earliest opportunity to try them.  Here is Mike’s Amazing spicy brown mustard on one of many rotisserie chicken salad sandwiches I’ve made over the past year, and I know I mixed it into the chicken salad as well.  It was another Gulden’s-esque flavor, as one would expect.

I preferred the brighter taste of the Mike’s Amazing deli mustard, which was more like my beloved Ba-Tampte (but not on that level) than Gulden’s spicy brown.  I was enjoying a ham and cheese sandwich here, since I treat myself to a whole spiral-sliced ham about once a year when Aldi deeply discounts them after the holidays (I call them my “half-price Hanukkah hams”), but that’s not the only reason I liked this mustard better. 

Over a year ago, back in February 2025, I took a trip down to Miami to visit my parents and see one of my all-time favorite musical groups with my best friend: the legendary hip hop collective De La Soul.  That’s when I had one of the top two meals of my entire life, at Red Rooster Overtown.  But on my rare trips down to Miami, I like to stop at all the bougie grocery stores in Broward and Palm Beach Counties to hunt for unfamiliar mustards and other condiments that aren’t available here in Orlando.  I visited three markets and made out like a bandit.  I’ve been slowly making my way through this haul for over a year, all leading up to this review:

I found a few of these at Carmine’s Gourmet Market, one of the nicest and bougiest grocery stores I’ve ever been to, in tony Palm Beach Gardens.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many high-end condiments and sauces for sale at one place before, and I was in heaven.  They had several sauces and condiments with their own private label, including some mustards.  I bought the two most intriguing flavors.  The jalapeño mustard was paler and creamier than most spicy yellow mustards I’ve tried over the years, kind of like a cross between a yellow mustard and a Dijon.  As usual, the heat was more mild than wild, but I liked it a lot, especially on these crispy house-made potato chips that were left over from Runabout Brewing Co.

I am an onion freak, much to my wife’s chagrin.  I love onions and put them in or on everything.  Most of the time, I buy sweet onions, even when recipes call for harsher-tasting white or yellow onions, so I couldn’t pass up trying Carmine’s Vidalia onion mustard.  Now this one was surprisingly sweet, despite having the texture of grated onions giving it some thick body.  I’m so glad I tried it, but I don’t know if I would get this one again.  It was too sweet for me. 

But sometimes a sweeter mustard hits in all the right ways.  Kozlik’s is a Canadian mustard brand, and it is the finest I’ve ever encountered.  I’ve never had a bad Kozlik’s flavor; in fact, they have all been among the best mustards I’ve tasted in my life.  Unfortunately, nobody sells them in Orlando (The Ancient Olive in Winter Park used to, but not in years), and they are expensive, but I was glad to find them at Carmine’s.  I always love balsamic vinegar, figs, and dates, so I couldn’t pass up Kozlik’s balsamic fig and date mustard.  It was thick, sweet, rich, and tangy, and I can’t say enough good things about it.  For a guy who usually eschews sweeter mustards for anything spicy and deli-style, this was a huge hit.  Honestly, you could even dab this mustard on vanilla ice cream, and it would slap.  But if you put it on chicken, pork, or fish, you couldn’t go wrong. 

I also love maple as a flavor, and maple syrup can be a great ingredient in savory and spicy marinades and sauces.  I also indulged in Kozlik’s Amazing Maple mustard, and it lived up to its name.  This one would be amazing with salty breakfast meats, among other things.  I might have even spread some on a Sausage McMuffin with Egg, classy guy that I am.  

About 25 years ago, Food Network used to feature celebrity chefs who actually taught you how to cook on their shows, instead of just endless, pointless cupcake competitions.  I loved this era of Food Network, and it inspired me to become both a better home cook and a more adventurous diner in general.  Emeril Lagasse emerged from New Orleans as a successful chef, restauranteur, and multimedia mogul, to the point where he once owned two restaurants here in Orlando, both of which are long gone.  You don’t hear about Emeril much anymore, but every time I attempted one of his recipes, it was rad.

When I stopped at the Famous Market Deli, a kosher grocery store and delicatessen in Delray Beach, Florida, on the same trip, I was thrilled to find multiple mustards from Emeril’s own brand, which I’ve never seen for sale anywhere else.  I bought three of them.  How could I not?

This was a recent roast pork loin sandwich on toasted keto bread from Aldi, garnished with fresh spinach, homemade Chicago-style spicy giardiniera (that came out so well), balsamic glaze, and Emeril’s deli style mustard, which was another Gulden’s-esque mustard, but I think better.  As I’ve said before, I love strong flavors, and I’m obsessed with how acidic flavors really make every meal pop.  BAM!

Emeril’s horseradish mustard was even better, on yet another pork loin sandwich, this one topped with hot cherry peppers and Grillo’s pickles (my favorite commercially available pickles that I’ve found).  It made me feel things!  BAM! 

And here is yet another pork loin sandwich with giardiniera, Grillo’s pickles, and Emeril’s jalapeño mustard, a yellow mustard jazzed up with random tiny flecks of spicy peppers.  This would be a fabulous mustard for a hot dog, a Cuban sandwich, or anything else you’d put regular, everyday yellow mustard on.  With very few exceptions (like Beaver products), the “spicy” mustards are never as spicy as I anticipate or crave, but this was a fine product nonetheless, and it doesn’t have the weird and unnecessary ingredients I discovered in Beaver mustards.  BAM! 

Have I made you miss Emeril?  Maybe not so much?

For the longest time, you couldn’t get Nathan’s mustards anywhere in the Orlando area.  My dad craved them, so I ordered some for him from a mail order company called Pop Pop Foods, but the shipping was very high, so I didn’t get any for myself.  When I found Nathan’s deli mustard and spicy brown mustard at the Famous Market Deli last year, I bought a bottle of each for myself, even though I already reviewed the Nathan’s deli mustard in Cutting the Mustard III after trying it at my parents’ house.

But I tried Nathan’s spicy brown mustard on a delicious and keto-friendly egg bite I made earlier this year after blending eggs with cottage cheese, then filling baking cups with ham, jalapeño peppers, the egg and cottage cheese mixture, and I think muenster cheese, then baking them.  These were quick, easy, tasty, and carb-free bites I could microwave and chomp on whenever I wanted, and they paired exceptionally well with multiple mustards.  Nathan’s makes one of the better spicy brown mustards I’ve sampled in all my years — definitely better than Gulden’s or Mike’s Amazing.

A few weeks ago, I was at the gargantuan Walmart Supercenter near my home, actually getting some bloodwork done at the Quest Diagnostics lab inside the Walmart (something that always makes me think of a late-stage capitalist dystopia).  I rarely go out of my way to shop at Walmart, but if I’m there, I always look down the action figure aisle (old habits die hard) and check out the groceries to see what they have that other places don’t carry.  I was pleasantly surprised to see Walmart stocks Nathan’s deli mustard, spicy brown, and a new flavor that I wasn’t expecting but maybe should have: hot honey deli mustard!  I had to have it, and it did not disappoint.  It’s everything you love from the regular (very good) deli mustard, but with a touch of sweet and a pleasant amount of heat.  On yet another roast pork loin sandwich on keto bread, I tried the hot honey deli mustard with Sir Kensington’s chipotle mayonnaise and some sweet peppers I pickled myself in the leftover spicy brine from a larger jar of hot cherry peppers.  Everything paired so well, the sandwich practically sang. 
Hot honey is definitely having a moment right now, the way chipotle and sriracha were the “it” condiments in past years, and it makes sense.  Try hot honey on pizza some time, and you won’t regret it.  Deli purists might be appalled by the concept of Nathan’s hot honey deli mustard, but I thought the flavor profile worked very well, and I would get this one again.  (Don’t put this on pizza, though, or you will regret it.)

Sharp-eyed Saboscrivnerinos may have noticed the Emeril’s and Nathan’s mustards come in identical plastic bottles, so I’m guessing they are made at the same facility, although I could be wrong about that.

I first tried Sy Ginsberg’s New York Style deli mustard at the Palm Avenue Deli in Sarasota, Florida, a few years ago.  That was a wonderful deli meal, and I would be a regular patron if it wasn’t so many hours away from us.  But when I found Sy Ginsberg at the Famous Market Deli in Delray Beach, I had to get a bottle to enjoy at home.  This time I added it to egg salad, along with Foraging Fox smoked garlic mayo (something I picked up on clearance at Sprouts grocery store) and Hoff Dirty Dust, an awesome seasoning blend I picked up on clearance at Fresh Market.  Hoff was a hot sauce company that recently went out of business, but I loved their hot sauces and especially this seasoning, which tastes just like the seasoning on Zapp’s Voodoo potato chips — salty, tangy, smoky, vinegary, spicy, and sweet all at once.  I bought the place out because I knew it would be gone forever.  Anyway, I always like egg salad, and this was an excellent batch, thanks in large part to Sy Ginsberg.  What a mensch!

Last summer, hip hop DJ and producer Mustard (real name: Dijon Isaiah McFarlane, which is just perfect) got together with condiment giant Heinz to release a limited edition MUSTAAAAAARD, which was chipotle honey mustard.  I remember it was briefly available at Buffalo Wild Wings restaurants (which I really do not like) and at some Target stores and Amazon.  I had to try this, especially as a fan of both mustard and hip hop, so feeling that FOMO, I ordered my bottle from Amazon.  (Of course, months later, I found these at Ollie’s Bargain Outlet marked down to a dollar each.) 
Heinz MUSTAAAAAARD tasted more like a vaguely mustard-based barbecue sauce, slightly sweet and slightly smoky, but not the least bit spicy.  It had a creamy consistency, but there wasn’t any oil added.  The ingredients were distilled white vinegar, sugar, water, mustard seed, honey, and less than 2% of salt, mustard flour, natural smoke flavor, chipotle peppers, molasses, paprika, spices, turmeric, and “natural flavor.”

This is an earlier chicken salad sandwich on the excellent sourdough bread from the Sourdough Bread House, a Turkish treasure here in Casselberry that I recommend to all locals.  I added Sy Ginsberg’s deli mustard to the chicken salad along with Foraging Fox smoked jalapeno mayo, chopped Grillo’s pickles and pepperoncini peppers, dried shallots, and Hoff Dirty Dust seasoning salt, but I topped the sandwich with the MUSTAAAAAARD to give it a hit of smoky, creamy sweetness.  It was a bit much, and it took me a while to get through the bottle.  I’m not a cynical person, so whenever I’m disappointed or let down by something, whether it’s a movie or a food, I always wish I liked it more than I did, and that was the case with this. 

Despite my reservations about both honey mustards and Dijons, this Bornier honey Dijon mustard, a French product, was far better than I expected.  This was one time where I made stuffed pork loin, cutting into the cylindrical cut in a spiral pattern so I could “roll it out,” then pounding it flat with a rolling pin, stuffing it with fresh spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, spicy pickled cherry peppers, seasoned bread crumbs, and parmesan cheese, then rolling it back up to roast so it looks pretty when you slice it.  (I got better after this early attempt.)  Anyway, with all those strong, savory flavors, the Bornier honey Dijon paired very well with the stuffed pork loin — thick, not overwhelmingly sweet, and the white wine flavor and mild nose-tingling sensation came through.

Finally, this California Olive Ranch roasted garlic, Dijon, and rosemary marinade came from The Fresh Market, a bougie grocery store if ever there was one.  I used most of the bottle marinating my usual pork loins, which I roast and slice thin for so many of the above sandwiches.  I’m not the biggest rosemary fan in the world (no, not even with potatoes), but luckily for me, the garlic and Dijon flavors came through stronger than the rosemary, which I often find overpowering.  I’m very glad I tried this, but I think I got the bottle on clearance, so I don’t know if I would restock this marinade at full price.

So by my count, that was *22* new mustards I reviewed for you in 2026.  Some great, some good, some passable, and a couple I never want or need to taste again.  I hope anyone who stuck around to the end enjoyed this journey, and while I don’t expect anyone to race off to track any of these down, please let me know if you do, and what you think of them.  In fact, if you have any mustard recommendations for me, please share, because I’m always looking to expand my palate and my collection.  Mustard manufacturers, to paraphrase TLC, I ain’t too proud to beg for free samples, as long as you’re cool with me reviewing them objectively.  As you may have realized, I’m a nerd who loves trying new foods and sharing information about them, and I’m always on a quest for new and interesting mustards.  I guess you could call these recurring Cutting the Mustard features “yellow journalism.”

Junior Colombian Burger

It has been a while since I’ve been to Junior Colombian Burger (https://juniorcolombianburger.com/), which has four locations in Orlando, none of which are exactly close to me.  But the one I visited was in East Orlando, between UCF’s sprawling campus and the Waterford Lakes sprawling shopping center, at 11875 East Colonial Drive, Orlando, FL 32826.  Junior’s is a casual restaurant where you order at the counter, and they have a lot to choose from: multiple burgers, hot dogs, arepas (savory Colombian corn pastries stuffed with cheese, beef, or chicken), empanadas, fries covered with various toppings, and plantains covered with various toppings.  This is not exactly health food, especially when you realize there are eight different sauces to dip your food in.  I fully admit the allure of multiple sauce combinations and permutations is what pulled me in to finally try Junior’s.

From left to right: pink sauce (kind of like a ketchup/mayo concoction), pineapple sauce (sweet and sticky; thinner than preserves), garlic sauce (mayo-based for creaminess), Zulu hot sauce, and Bella hot sauce.  

And in additional squeeze bottles, pale orange creamy chipotle sauce, tangy barbecue sauce, and a mysterious unlabeled green sauce.  

Here they are!  Do I remember which is which?  Abso-fucking-lutely not!  Like I said, it has been a while.  But were they good?  Yes, every one is worth trying, as long as you’re there.

RING THE ALARM!  These onion rings were breaded rather than battered, which is not my preferred style.  They were on the greasy side and remained boiling lava hot while I tried to eat them, complete with that mouth-shredding texture.  But they functioned mostly as delivery devices for the eight condiments. 

Because this was my first visit, I chose the eponymous Junior’s burger, with a single beef patty, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, cooked onion, potato chips, pineapple sauce, pink sauce, and garlic sauce on a soft brioche bun.  Yes, there’s a lot going on there, but that is far from their most complicated or decadent burgers.  As you can see, the patty is on the small side, cooked like a smashburger (although it didn’t get much in the way of crispiness from the Maillard reaction), and gets a bit lost in the mix with all the other flavors and textures.   
I didn’t hate it by any means, but there are certainly better burgers to be found in Orlando.  I think a thicker, juicier burger patty would help immensely, but I always prefer those to thin smashburgers.

Next time I’ll branch out from burgers and try something a little more unique.  I love that they have a ridiculous-looking sandwich served on flat fried plantains instead of bread called the amor toxico (toxic love), topped with cheese sauce, queso fresco, mozzarella cheese, ketchup, mustard, garlic sauce, tomato, lettuce, corn, and a choice of beef, chicken, or both.  I know Junior’s Colombian Burger has a strong and loyal fan following, so please tell me, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos: what are your favorite menu items, and what should I get next time?

Uncle Tony’s Backyard BBQ

I love barbecue, and now that I’m making a genuine effort to eat fewer carbs, I have made two visits to a relatively new barbecue restaurant, knowing I could focus on delicious meat and hopefully make wise choices with the sides.  Uncle Tony’s Backyard BBQ (https://uncletonysbackyardbbq.com/) is located in Orlando’s Pinecastle neighborhood, at 6807 South Orange Avenue, south of Lancaster Avenue (which you can take west to Orange Blosson Trail get to Saboscrivner favorites Bombay Street Kitchen and Tortas El Rey).  Back in 2018, when I had just started this blog, I reviewed a short-lived sandwich shop called Dancing Pigs Deli in the same location Uncle Tony’s has been operating in for the past four years.  Because it is all the way across town from me, I only recently made it down there, but I’m so glad I did.  By the way, it is open Tuesday – Saturday, 11 AM to 3 PM.  There are tables for dining in, but no booths.

I brought home takeout both times.  On my first visit, my wife requested St. Louis style ribs, so I got her an order that came with four generously sized, tender ribs.  By the way, St. Louis style is more of a cut than a specific barbecue style or flavor.  All the meals come with two sides, but the only thing she was in the mood for was collard greens.  I got her the greens, plus baked beans for myself. 

Meals also come with a choice of bread, and she wanted cornbread.  It’s a dollar upcharge, but it is so good, that’s a bargain at twice the price.  

I got a two-meat combo for myself, with spare ribs (so we could try both kinds of ribs) and brisket, plus collard greens and potato salad.  Between those two and the baked beans, I knew I would be in side heaven, and you can gauge barbecue joints by the quality of their sides as well as their meats.  I liked both kinds of ribs, but she liked my spare ribs even better than her St. Louis ribs.  After I had one of these, we traded the rest of our ribs.  Happy wife, happy life!

Here’s a better view of that brisket on a separate plate.  It looks a little dry, but it tasted great, I assure you.  I prefer fattier brisket, so I made a mental note to request it that way next time.

The potato salad was Southern style, with some crunch and tanginess from diced pickles, as well as some yellow mustard in there.  This might be a hot take, but aside from chips, potato salad is probably my favorite way to eat potatoes.  Better than baked, mashed, even fries?  I said what I said! 

Forgive me — I don’t remember exactly which sauce was which, but the reds were hot and extra hot, and the oranges were “tangy” and mustard.  I liked them all, but naturally, I preferred the hot ones.  But whenever I visit a new barbecue restaurant, I want to try all of the sauces.  

I returned to Uncle Tony’s in late April when my wife was craving ribs, greens, and cornbread again.  I brought her home a two-meat combo with the spare ribs, a smoked chicken leg and thigh, collard greens, and yellow rice and peas.  The ribs were good this second time, but we both underestimated how perfect the smoked chicken would be.  I always prefer thighs and legs (at least when it comes to chicken), and they were so tender and juicy.  The skin pulled off easily, and she doesn’t like to eat chicken skin, so that was my little treat.  It was sooooo good.  This might have been the best smoked chicken we’ve ever had anywhere. The rice and peas were somewhat nondescript, aside from being salty, but the greens remain the best around.

I got that great cornbread for both of our sides so she could have them, since I’m still trying to be better about carbs.

I got myself a two-meat combo with the the St. Louis-style ribs again, plus smoked sausage.  My favorite part about barbecue sausage is the almost crispy natural casing, and this did not disappoint.  I admit I prefer SmokeMade Meats + Eats for sausage as well as brisket, but we are both superfans of the ribs here at Uncle Tony’s.   The sauteed cabbage in the top left was extremely salty, but I love cabbage in all its forms, so I’m glad I tried it.  But those greens have never failed us and never could.

This time, I splurged on the beef rib as well, a huge and expensive piece of meat we have both enjoyed at multiple barbecue spots, including SmokeMade, Briskets in Oviedo, and the much-missed Git-N-Messy BBQ (RIP, Chef Chuck Cobb).  Beef ribs are a perfect example of a “sometimes food,” for multiple reasons (fattiness plus cost), but it was a worthwhile indulgence, since they only ever offer them on Fridays and Saturdays.  Luckily, they are big enough that we can easily get a few portions out of each one.  I could easily slide the bone right out of the rich, marbled meat.

Here’s a top view, so you can see that peppery crust on it. 

Well folks, I gotta tell you, my wife liked the smoked chicken and collard greens so much that she asked me to return the following Saturday to bring home more.  And I never say no to Dr. Professor Ma’am if it’s within my power to do what she wants.  The smoked chicken was just as good this time, after setting a very high bar.

Finally, here’s a good close-up of those tender, savory, smoky collards that are packed with smoked meat:

It took me three visits to finally try Uncle Tony’s macaroni and cheese, and it is wonderful.  Definitely one of the best mac and cheeses in the Orlando area.  Not baked to dryness, and not swimming in a gloopy, gloppy cheese “sauce.”  Just perfect.

I had to bring home another beef rib as a treat.  Here’s a surprisingly good photo I took after removing the bone, which was as long as my forearm.  (As Jason Statham said in the movie Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, “It’s as long as my arm; I wish it was as long as something else!”)

And here’s that top view again.  The rib was even better this second time around, and more photogenic to boot.

Despite the distance, we intend to keep coming to Uncle Tony’s, most likely to continue bringing home takeout.  Our other favorite barbecue place in Orlando, the aforementioned, Michelin-recommended SmokeMade Meats + Eats, isn’t exactly close either, but we love both, and it is nice to have a couple of fantastic options to choose from.  I think their beef ribs are about equal, but I give Uncle Tony’s the edge for smoked chicken and all the different sides, especially the greens, potato salad, and mac and cheese.  Also, now that I’ve spoken to Tony himself and his wife LaShunda, they are the nicest people, and they deserve all of our support.  If you have already been to Uncle Tony’s Backyard Barbecue, what are your favorite dishes on the menu, and what do I need to try next time?

Holbox (Los Angeles)

Holbox (https://www.holboxla.com/) is the first actual Michelin-starred restaurant I’ve ever dined at, although I have visited several Michelin Bib Gourmand award winners and Recommended restaurants here in Orlando.  It specializes in Mexican seafood dishes, and in all my research on Los Angeles restaurants, it is one of the most popular and highly recommended destinations for Angelenos and tourists alike.  However, even though the food is crafted and plated with elegance and style, tasting as beautiful as it looked, it is a humble stall inside Mercado La Paloma, a Mexican food hall in South Los Angeles, surrounded by five more casual food stalls — at the time of this writing, four other Mexican restaurants and one Thai place.

Because you can either eat at the counter or communal tables, I would say Holbox is casual and accessible too, which makes it kind of a novelty for a Michelin-starred restaurant, and extremely unique.  They offer an eight-course tasting menu that surely sells out weeks in advance, but I shared a magnificent feast with a good friend on a work trip to L.A. back in November, just sitting at the counter and ordering off the regular menu.  I’m so glad we got to experience Holbox for ourselves, after reading so much hype and love online.

(By the way, Holbox is pronounced “OL-bosh,” like the “ol’ swimmin’ hole.”  Maybe that wasn’t the best example.)

This was my sparkling lemonade, and we shared these fresh tortilla chips and salsa.  Since my friend and I take eating seriously, we almost skipped the chips until I realized they are only $1.  How could we say no to $1 chips?  That would be worth it anywhere, and especially at the legendary Holbox.  They were good chips — so light and thin and crispy! — and the salsa was magnificent.

All four of these fresh hot sauces were stellar: Chile Kut with roasted habanero, Habanero, Arbol-Guajillo, and Chile Morita.  The roasted habanero had an almost creamy consistency, and the Arbol-Guajillo and Chile Morita were deliciously smoky.  I wish they sold them in jars like these, but I would not have been able to bring them home with me on the plane anyway.

This beautiful, intricate creation was my tuna tartare tostada, with Baja bluefin tartare, Sinaloa-style salsa negra, pickled carrots and onions, dollops of pureed avocado, and fresh cilantro on a thin and crispy fried corn tortilla (like an open-faced taco). 

And my friend got this smoked kanpachi tostada, kanpachi being a type of fish.  His tostada also included Hokkaido scallops, shrimp, the aforementioned arbol-guajillo hot sauce, dollops of avocado, and cilantro. 

Since I am obsessed with smoked fish, I got this house-smoked kanpachi taco for myself, with queso chihuahua, salsa cruda, avocado, and peanut chili oil on a fresh blue corn tortilla.  Every bite was fabulous.

You can see the smoked fish interior better in this shot:

In the photo below, the taco on the top is the Baja fish taco, with crispy battered local Vermillion rockfish, crema, mayonnaise, salsa roja, and pico de gallo.  I got a perfect bite of the fried rockfish, and it might have been my first time trying that fish (a second new fish on a trip to L.A., after discovering sand dabs at H.M.S. Bounty!).On the bottom is the pan-seared Hokkaido diver scallop taco, with three scallops, chile x’catic sauce, caramelized onions, tomato, and marinated fennel on the same blue corn tortilla.  I got a scallop, and it was as perfect as a scallop can be.

Finally, we shared the filete al carbon, a mesquite-grilled filet of branzino served over cilantro rice with black beans, more of that x’catic sauce, avocado, and pico de gallo, with rolled-up tortillas in that foil off to the left side.I think we settled on this dish because they were out of something that interested us both more, but it did not disappoint, despite seeming a little more ordinary than the other creations.

Every time I hang out with this friend of mine, we always fit in an epic meal.  We enjoyed Langer’s Delicatessen, Pann’s, and Genghis Cohen on three of my previous L.A. trips, as well as a few other L.A. restaurants (including a famous, iconic Hollywood classic) and an awe-inspiring indigenous restaurant in Portland, Oregon, that I have yet to review.  He’s a stand-up guy, a great professor, and a fellow adventurous diner, so I am always happy to catch up with him when I’m on the other coast.  Holbox was one of our greatest discoveries to date, and if you don’t want to take my word for it, that tire company loved it enough to give it a coveted Star.

The Hummus Guy

The Hummus Guy (https://thehummusguyft.com/) is a Middle Eastern food truck that sets up at 711 North Orlando Avenue (also known as 17-92), Maitland, Florida 32751, outside of a bank building.  The truck’s usual hours are noon to 7 PM, every day except Monday and Saturday, but always check their Facebook page for updates, just in case.  A friend of mine has been singing its praises for a while, but I finally tried it in January, and I’ve been back many times since that first discovery — almost weekly!
The Hummus Guy isn’t just a generic description, but the owner-operator’s name is Guy and he makes he best hummus ever… as well as the best of so many other things.  Buckle yourselves in for this one, constant readers!  You’re about to discover one of my new favorite places to eat in the entire Orlando area.

I had taken large, clear photos of the menu to share, but Guy recently posted a new, updated menu online, so I’m using his own posted images instead.  These are all the pita sandwich and plate (bowl) options:

Here are all the “extras” — a la carte orders that aren’t sandwiches or bowls.

The first time I visited the truck was a pretty cold January evening.  While I waited for my food, Guy was kind enough to give me a free sample of four freshly rolled, freshly fried falafel balls with a pool of the smoothest, creamiest tahini (sesame paste) ever.  These were so delicious, with the perfect crispy crunch, soft and yielding centers, and not greasy at all.  Best falafel ever?  Certainly the best falafel I’ve ever had anywhere, and my falafel-loving wife would soon agree.

This is the crown jewel, the chicken shawarma pita sandwich.  I’ve been on a shawarma kick lately, discovering a great grilled beef shawarma at The Cairo Express Egyptian food truck in Winter Park last summer, as well as a few lesser shawarmas.  But this is the absolute best chicken shawarma I’ve ever had in my life.  Best chicken shawarma in the world?  I can’t answer that, but I would certainly support it in a shawarma-off.  So delicious, so flavorful, so tender.  It’s addictive.  We have since ordered it so many times, and it is never dry.  So many shawarmas are disappointingly dry!The pita sandwich is garnished with chopped salad, creamy hummus, and tahini.  By the way, Guy’s pita bread is all baked from scratch, and it is smaller diameter than most store-bought pitas, but a lot thicker and fluffier.  It makes for a wonderful sandwich, and those sandwiches are stuffed so full of ingredients spilling out the top, they are best enjoyed on the premises.  (Don’t worry, there are a few tiny portable tables with chairs.)

This is one of the many chicken shawarma plates I’ve brought home over the past two months.  This one is served on a bed of addictive, savory mujjadara, buttery rice sauteed with lentils and a healthy amount of caramelized onions.  As a caramelized onion lover, I love this mujjadara, and I appreciate that Guy goes HARD on the onions.  Even my wife, who usually hates onions in anything, likes this stuff. 

On a later visit, I brought home an order of the best chicken shawarma ever, which came with a simple side of tahini.  This was a HUGE portion, and while I probably could have devoured it in one sitting, my wife and I spaced it out and made it last a few days, since I am consciously trying to eat less, eat healthier, and lose weight (believe it or not).

Here is a falafel plate I brought home for my wife on one of my many recent visits, on another bed of that insanely good mujjadara.  That’s hummus on the side, topped with some of Guy’s spicy sechug sauce, made with fresh herbs (I’m guessing cilantro and parsley) and jalapenos.  I’ve bought the Trader Joe’s version before (they spell it “zhoug” and describe it as a spicy condiment from Yemen), but Guy’s version is lighter, thinner, and less oily than Trader Joe’s and reminds me of a spicy tomatillo salsa.   

More recently, my wife requested a simple order of falafel, not as part of a plate.  We got a lot of balls!

(Seriously, these orders usually include 12 or 13.)

Something my wife and I discovered over a recent breakfast at the new Turkish restaurant Cafe De Wan in Casselberry is that you can add a thick, syrupy, sweet grape molasses called pekmez to tahini, and it becomes like the Turkish version of peanut butter and jelly.  I bought a big jar of pekmez at Global Bazaar, a Turkish grocery store, and sometimes she will dab a little into the side cups of The Hummus Guy’s tahini for a uniquely sweet treat.

This is Guy’s chicken schnitzel, thin chicken tenders that are breaded and fried to perfection, also over mujjadara.  They are great too, don’t get me wrong, but if I come here for chicken, I’m going to stick to the chicken shawarma and leave the chicken tenders to my beloved Chicken Fire.  But the chicken schnitzel had a lot of flavor and has never been greasy, dry, or burnt.  With so many restaurants serving and even specializing in chicken tenders, a lot of them half-ass it, but not Guy!  This is a man who takes so much pride in his product, you can tell.  It is refreshing, and the side of hummus topped with more spicy sechug sauce is even more refreshing.   

This is the sabich pita sandwich, which would have looked a lot prettier if I ate it on premises instead of having Guy wrap it up to go.  It is a sandwich of baked eggplant, a brown boiled egg, chopped salad, fresh herbs, amba sauce (made of mangoes and pickles), and tahini.  It tasted better than this photo looks, I swear.  Next time I’ll get one and eat it while I wait for the rest of my to-go order.

Likewise, the kebab pita sandwich from my third visit, with two grilled beef patties mixed with herbs and spices, would have looked a lot nicer if I ate it while hanging out at one of the tiny tables set up outside the truck.  There were tomatoes and scallions in this sandwich, along with the hummus and tahini.  I asked for some of the amba sauce in this one too, once I found out what it actually was.  I love the intense sweetness and tartness of mango, and I always think something acidic is the missing ingredient in most dishes that brings them from good to great.

This is one of the many 16-ounce containers of hummus I’ve brought home, because it is such a rich, creamy, tasty hummus.  None of the premade commercial brands at the supermarket can compare.  It comes topped with parsley, a little olive oil, and that spicy sechug sauce.   My wife has been eating a lot of roasted or baked sweet potatoes at home, especially the incredible Japanese murasaki sweet potatoes they sell at Trader Joe’s.   I never add any oil during the roasting process, but she likes to apply hummus and/or tahini when she eats them!  She is definitely in her sweet potato and hummus era, thanks to The Hummus Guy.

This is Guy’s babaganush, roasted eggplant with tahini and garlic.  It can be used as a spread or a dip, and it is one of my wife’s favorite things in the world to eat, so we try it everywhere.  This babaganush is somewhat more tahini-forward than others we’ve tried, where you taste more of a smoky flavor from the roasted eggplant. 

To fully compare and contrast, I also ordered the eggplant mayo salad, which is roasted eggplant with mayonnaise instead of tahini, as well as the requisite garlic.  I’m not quite as into tahini as my wife, but I am a sucker for mayo-based deli salads (macaroni, potato, egg, tuna, chicken, cole slaw), and I honestly liked this one better than the babaganush.

The Hummus Guy has become a new Friday evening tradition for us, since he is not there on Saturdays.  He closes at 7 PM, so I try to make it over there in the last hour he’s open.  We’ve been going through a 16-ounce container of his hummus each week, in addition to whatever else I bring home.  Guy is a stand-up guy, so friendly and welcoming, and his food is second to none in the Orlando area.  He’s always busy, so people are definitely discovering his amazing food and spreading the word, and now it’s my turn to do so.  Guy’s wife Abbie, who was so patient with me when I first texted to find out their location and hours, is a lovely person too.  Try their food soon — the shawarma, the mujjadara, the falafel, the hummus, the tahini, the fresh-baked pita bread — and I promise you won’t regret it!