Condiments and Sauces – The Saboscrivner

Guelaguetza (Los Angeles)

Guelaguetza (https://www.ilovemole.com/) is an Oaxacan Mexican restaurant in L.A.’s Koreatown, founded by chef-owner Bricia Lopez. I first became aware of her as one of the guests on celebrity chef David Chang’s Netflix series Dinner Time Live, where he cooks for famous friends on an actual live (recorded) show from a set somewhere in L.A. She was vivacious and telegenic, with a big, fun personality. It almost seemed like she was auditioning for a cooking show of her own without even trying, and she really should get one. I had never heard of her before, but I thought she had everything it takes to become a household name. I looked Bricia Lopez up online, found out her parents founded Guelaguetza in 1994, they serve ancient family recipes, and she has even authored two Oaxacan cookbooks. After reading the menu, I had been wanting to go there ever since.

I actually work and stay in Koreatown on my occasional work trips to L.A., but I mapped out the route, and it was too far to walk from either my work site or my hotel, and public transportation wouldn’t take me there easily. Plus, I knew if I went there solo, there were so many things I would want to try, and the main thing I wanted would just be too much for a single diner. I honestly don’t eat as much as I used to, I swear! But I’m writing this review the day I had lunch at Guelaguetza with two of my wonderful local work colleagues. I had been bugging them to go out to lunch with me, of course I had a list of suggestions, and this place was the most appealing to everyone. It was the first time for all of us, and needless to say, everyone was thrilled.

We all ordered sparkling aguas frescas: lemon (left) and passion fruit (right). I am deeply skeptical of any Mexican restaurants that don’t offer aguas frescas in at least a couple of different flavors. I admit I like them better when they aren’t sparkling, but they were still nice and refreshing. No free refills, though.

Freshly fried tortilla chips weren’t salted, but they were nice and crunchy and not too greasy. They were topped with crumbled queso fresco and a thick, rich dark red sauce I figured was a type of mole. It wasn’t spicy, but it was very savory and had a hint of chocolate. More on that later, I swear!

My colleague suggested we order the molcajete de guacamole Oaxaqueño. It wasn’t made tableside, but that’s really not necessary for me. It was thinner guacamole than I’m used to, but it was so fresh and bright-tasting, with fresh lime, topped with cilantro, serrano peppers, diced tomatoes, and crumbled queso fresco, and it came with another order of (plain) chips.My well-traveled colleague said an authentic molcajete (the mortar bowl that guacamole and salsa are often mixed and served in, usually made of volcanic basalt rock) would have been in the shape of a pig, but that was news to me. As a Florida Man, I’ve eaten plenty of Mexican food, but I’ve never seen a pig-shaped molcajete at any of our Mexican restaurants. Of course, I’ve never found a Oaxacan restaurant anywhere in Florida!

This massive platter was the tlayuda Guelaguetza. A tlayuda is a 15” crispy corn tortilla, handmade in Oaxaca from heirloom corn and grilled over fire. It was layered with bean and chicharrón spread (mmmm, pork rinds), shredded cabbage, quesillo (salty shredded Oaxacan cheese), queso fresco (crumbled fresh cheese), pork cecina, pork chorizo, and beef tasajo. The tlayuda itself was cut into slices like a pizza to make it easier to eat, and we just shared the meats.

This is the pork cecina, pork loin that is rubbed or marinated in chile paste, pounded very thin, and air-dried before being grilled. It was a bit dry, but it had so much flavor.

The chorizo sausage on the left may not be the most appetizing-looking, but it was one of my favorite things we tried at this sumptuous lunch. Each round link was dark red on the inside, firm and slightly crumbly, and they could be easily cut or pulled apart. It was much less greasy than any other Mexican chorizo I’ve ever had (I love chorizo, but it always drenches everything in orange grease, except this one), and the outer casing had a nice snappiness. The beef tasajo on the right was salt-cured, pounded thin, air-dried, and grilled. It tasted like really good carne asada, but was closer in consistency to high-quality beef jerky (just not as dry).

The thing I had been dying to try ever since discovering Chef Lopez and Guelaguetza was the Festival de Moles, a sampler of four different moles, the specialty of the house. But that would be way too much food for one man, especially staying in a hotel room. I was thrilled that my colleagues decided to join me, so we could share all this deliciousness. The moles came on a long wooden serving board in four separate bowls that were all a lot deeper than they first appeared to be. These first two were laden with pieces of boneless pork spare ribs. On the left you see mole rojo, a “rich, spiced red mole featuring chilhuacle rojo and ancho chiles, heirloom tomatoes, toasted almonds, peanuts, sesame seeds, and aromatic spices.” Despite the chiles, it was more savory than spicy.On the right you see mole estofado, a “mild almond-based mole balanced with raisins, olives, and pickled jalapeños, creating a uniquely sweet and savory profile.” I didn’t fully read these descriptions until after we ate, so I never would have guessed it was almond-based, but I can tell you I’ve never had anything quite like it. I thought the raisins and olives were interesting additions, especially because both of them end up in Cuban picadillo, a seasoned ground beef dish that otherwise has nothing in common with mole estofado, or any mole.

These other two moles came stuffed with shredded chicken breast. On the left, you see mole negro, Guelaguetza’s “signature smoky black mole crafted from chilhuacle negro, ancho chiles, toasted almonds, peanuts, sesame seeds, and traditional spices.” This was another banger. On the right, you see mole coloradito, the same mole served on our complimentary chips at the beginning of the meal. It is a “sweet and mildly spicy mole with guajillo chiles, toasted almonds, peanuts, sesame seeds, spices, and a subtle hint of chocolate.”

Damn, son. I’ve tried a few mole dishes in my lifetime, but only ever thought they were okay. I’ve even bought a jarred, pre-made version that was terrible. I don’t think I could even finish the jar, which hurts, because I hate wasting food, but I couldn’t do it. But these four moles were not just streets ahead, but worlds apart. They were so rich and complex, I have never tasted anything like them, and I doubt I ever will again. If you go to Guelaguetza, I strongly recommend ordering one of these moles, or ideally, drag friends and share this Festival de Moles.

Even the veggie rice that came with our Festival of Moles was delicious, although we couldn’t finish it.

My other colleague ordered something else I had my eye on: the memelita sampler with five memelitas, small corn tortillas each topped individually with chicharrón spread and queso fresco, with additional different toppings on each one. From left to right, they were topped with pork cecina, nopal (cactus) salad, beef tasajo, quesillo (fresh, shredded, salty Oaxacan cheese, with the consistency of mozzarella string cheese), and papa con chorizo (diced potatoes with crumbled sausage), kind of like corned beef hash, but so much more flavorful.
I ended up eating most of the nopal salad memelita, and it was wonderful. Again, I’ve had pickled nopal cactus from Florida taqueria salsa bars and even out of a can, but these were fresh, and there is nothing quite like them, especially combined with the flavor of fresh diced tomatoes on top. They reminded me a bit of fiddlehead ferns, but maybe just texture-wise.

My female colleague’s birthday was the next day, so of course I had to mention it to our server. He brought her a complimentary piece of flan with a candle and three spoons, and we serenaded her with “Feliz cumpleaños a ti” (or “Happy birthday to you” in Spanish). I’m not a flan guy — never have been, even after growing up in Miami — but even I could appreciate this rich, decadent flan.

So anyway, that’s how you should do Guelaguetza. The three of us ordered a lot of food and still ended up with a bunch of leftovers, most of which I schlepped back to my hotel room, since at least I have a fridge and a microwave here. It wouldn’t have been the same going alone, especially because I would not have been able to try so many of Chef Bricia Lopez’s mind-blowing Oaxacan dishes. And the way the three of us ordered, I think we really maximized being able to taste as many different things on the menu as possible. Props to them for having such good taste and being willing to share. Plus, these two are always great company, and I’m grateful to be able to work with them and see them two or three times a year.

Several publications have named Guelaguetza one of the best restaurants in Koreatown, one of the best Mexican restaurants in all of L.A., and one of the best Oaxacan restaurants in the world, if not the best. It deserves all of those fabulous superlatives and more, and it’s a huge, festive, fun place — perfect for a celebratory dinner or just a weekday lunch with co-workers you actually like. Angelenos have no shortage of Mexican restaurants to choose from, but in my three years of traveling out to L.A., I am sure I’ve tried two of the best in the city: Holbox and now Guelaguetza.

Wine 4 Oysters

Wine 4 Oysters (https://www.wine4oysters.com/) is a friendly neighborhood restaurant and bar with a nautical theme and a seafood-centric menu. It has been on my radar for years, but it’s in East Orlando, at 1957 South Alafaya Trail in the Publix plaza, south of the sprawling Waterford Lakes shopping plaza and State Road 408, in a part of town I NEVER go to, so I had never made it… until two weeks ago. I timed my visit with my wife for 4 PM on a very rare Friday off, to be there when Wine 4 Oysters opens, snag one of their few booths, and take advantage of their happy hour specials.

This is the counter. I appreciate any blue decor in restaurants, which I find soothing and comforting.

Here is the opposite side of the dining room. There are two half-booths in the very front, up against the front window that lets in lots of natural light, and you can see the one other half-booth in the back.

We both studied the menu in advance, but my wife was more prepared than I. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she defaulted to two time-tested favorite dishes. The first one was baked brie, which came in a ramekin, melty and warm, topped with walnuts. They served it with toasted bread, cranberry sauce, and apple wedges on the side. I love cheese, but brie honestly does nothing for me, so this was all her. She doesn’t eat a lot, so she brought quite a bit of this home to enjoy the next day.

As for me, I love oysters, but they are such a rare treat for me. I realize I haven’t had oysters in well over a year, but we’ve been dealing with some very stressful health-related situations lately, and I also had some good things happen at work that we haven’t had a chance to celebrate or even acknowledge. Since we were finally at Wine 4 Oysters during their happy hour, I said “screw it” (actually, I said something a little more adult) and ordered 30 plump Gulf oysters for the excellent price of $35. My wife doesn’t like raw oysters, so I ate them all myself… and I’d do it again. They were so cool and refreshing, and so far, I am not regretting it.

The oysters came with accompaniments: the lemon wedges and cocktail sauce above, plus hot sauce, a French mignonette with shallots in red wine vinegar, a different mignonette with jalapenos and lemon, and grated horseradish in the cylindrical container. I tried them all in various combinations and permutations, and it was nice. It was just nice being there, out on a rare Friday date with my wife, who has been through so much lately, enjoying a huge platter of one of my favorite “sometimes foods,” going through the ritual of topping them with various acidic accoutrements to enhance their fresh, briny flavor.

At happy hour (which is 4 to 6 PM, Monday through Friday), in addition to the 30 Gulf oysters for $35, Wine 4 Oysters also offers 30% off James River oysters from Virginia, oyster shooters, and cocktails. And on Wednesdays, I believe they run an all-you-can-drink wine special, so bohemians, wine moms, and UCF students, just be careful, that’s all I ask.

I am always a sucker for smoked fish dip, that Old Florida standard that has infinite variations, but it’s almost always great. Like Italian subs, chili, and onion rings, I will almost always order smoked fish dip if I see it on a menu, so I was immediately drawn to the house smoked tuna dip at Wine 4 Oysters. It was presented as a large scoop over a spring mix salad with wasabi dressing, accompanied by long, thin, unsalted flatbread-style crackers (Sixty Vines serves similar ones). I was a little disappointed that the “dip” was more like the consistency of tuna salad, rather than a creamy dip. It tasted good because I happen to like tuna salad a lot, but it wasn’t what I expected or hoped for. I blame myself rather than the restaurant. The taste and texture made me think it was made from regular canned tuna fish rather than ahi tuna or some other higher-grade tuna. I’ve made similar-tasting tuna salad at home, sometimes with a splash (or more) of liquid smoke, so even though it was fine, and I ate every morsel, it didn’t blow me away.

One thing my wife will always order on a menu is octopus. She loves those tender, brainy cephalopods! This lemon garlic octopus came with one large, heavily seasoned, super-garlicky tentacle, plus a mountain of white rice with some seasoning on top, a scoop of relatively thin baba ghanoush, and a mixed greens salad with pomegranate dressing, probably made from pomegranate molasses. She loves baba ghanoush too (and she orders that anywhere it is available), so this was a winning combination for her. That said, since she was pretty full from the baked brie and doesn’t eat that much to begin with, she only tried a tiny bit of the octopus at the restaurant. We (mostly she) brought home a bunch of leftovers, and she had more of the octopus the following day, just chilled, straight out of the fridge. She said it was much tastier the following day, eaten cold!

Finally, I thought we would both enjoy the Russian beef pelmeni dumplings, and we did. They were pretty much what I hoped for, with thin, chewy dumpling wrappers, similar to Chinese wontons and the wonderful, beautiful manty dumplings we enjoyed so much recently at Uzbek restaurant Chayhana, but with seasoned beef filling. They were served in a pool of melted butter and topped with a dollop of rich sour cream and plenty of parsley. Both of us enjoyed these quite a bit. I don’t know if they were handmade (because you can buy frozen pelmeni from multiple brands at Green Hills Supermarket, the huge Russian and Eastern European grocery store in Altamonte Springs), but it doesn’t matter, because they might have been my favorite part of the entire meal.

I don’t know when I’ll make it back to Wine 4 Oysters, but it’s the kind of place more people should know about, so here I am, boosting the signal. I love oysters so much, and even though I’ll always sing the praises of High Tide Harry’s and The Osprey, two of my favorite restaurants in the entire Orlando metropolitan area, it is always good to have options. Wine 4 Oysters is another fine oyster option, especially for people living on the east side of town.

Cutting the Mustard V: What Are Ya, YELLOW?

I love mustard. As far as I’m concerned, it is a perfect condiment, especially because there are so many styles and infinite subtle variations to choose from. At the start of 2026, I officially started trying to lose weight by eating smaller portions and eating healthier in general, which includes fewer restaurant meals. Mustard has been a godsend for jazzing up the simple, everyday, high-protein, low-fat foods I’ve been preparing in different ways to stave off boredom and blandness: chicken breast, lean pork loin, turkey, and of course sardines and other tinned seafood. No matter if you’re eating the leanest, dryest chicken breast there is or a juicy, fatty, salty, decadent cut of meat, almost any savory dish can be improved by introducing an acidic component, and that’s where mustard really shines.

For my first-ever Cutting the Mustard back in 2021, I reviewed seven different mustards. In 2022, I raised the stakes by reviewing ten different mustards in Cutting the Mustard II: The Search for More Mustard. In 2024, I went above and beyond by reviewing 26 mustards (making up for skipping 2023) in Cutting the Mustard III: Mustardy Agreement. Last year’s Cutting the Mustard IV: Mustard on the Beat included a whopping 18 new mustards. And now, following my arbitrary tradition of posting these on Memorial Day weekend, we’re going to try this again!

I am opening with organic Dijon mustard from Whole Foods’ 365 private label. I almost never use Dijon mustard by itself, on sandwiches, hot dogs, burgers, or anything else. For me, Dijon is more of an ingredient. I put a little into my homemade Caesar dressing, and whenever I roast lamb chops, I rub them down with Dijon. But I tried a little on this Deutsche Kuche (pronounced “douche cooch”) Bavarian soft pretzel stick from Aldi, for the sake of this mustard mega-review, and it was good.

The next two mustards were random finds at Big Lots, a store that specialized in random finds, like close-outs from other retailers. Sadly, all the Big Lots locations closed over a year ago, but it was a neat place to browse, especially for interesting chips, sodas, and international foods. I had never heard of the Morehouse brand, and I’ve never seen them anywhere else before or since. For some people, that would be a few red flags right away, but for me, it was “Challenge accepted!”

I keep striking out with German mustards, even though Germany is a pretty big country for mustard consumption. I never like the ones Aldi brings back twice a year for their German weeks, and I thought this Morehouse German mustard was kind of bland and forgettable on the same Aldi pretzel stick. I would not buy it again, not that I could even if I wanted to.

The Morehouse horseradish mustard was brighter and spicier, so of course I liked it a lot more on this pretzel stick. (Saboscrivner secret: I usually get multiple mustard shots out of a single “douche cooch” pretzel stick. I haven’t been eating a whole pretzel with each mustard I sample and photograph!) Anyway, I always like the sinus-clearing flavor and heat of horseradish, especially in mustard. Stay tuned for more horseradish mustards that are even better!

I forgot where I found the Silver Spring chipotle mustard (left) and Beer’n Brat mustard (right) in Orlando. Maybe Petty’s Meats, a bougie grocer in Longwood? I’ve had very similar mustards from other brands before, but both were perfectly fine with the same soft pretzel. The chipotle is very mild, spice-wise, but had a decent smoky, acidic kick.
One of my favorite people in the world, a friend who is a true foodie and intrepid traveler, brought me the Lars Swedish Style spicy brown mustard (in the middle), and it was a standard Gulden’s-esque spicy brown, but I enjoyed it quite a lot. I know it made it into a couple of batches of chicken salad that I make with Costco rotisserie chickens.

The same friend also brought me another Lars Swedish Style mustard. This is the mild & sweet variety, which was a pleasant, middle-of-the-road mustard, but luckily not too sweet. A lot of honey mustards are cloyingly sweet to me, and I am never okay with a “dessert mustard.” This was a safe and solid choice for roast pork loin sandwiches and the like.

Publix, Florida’s ubiquitous supermarket chain, where shopping is a pleasure for almost everyone but me, started carrying Mike’s Amazing mustards about a year ago, and they have even put them on BOGO sale a few times. It’s a relatively cheap mustard as it is, usually around $1.99. I bought two at my earliest opportunity to try them. Here is Mike’s Amazing spicy brown mustard on one of many rotisserie chicken salad sandwiches I’ve made over the past year, and I know I mixed it into the chicken salad as well. It was another Gulden’s-esque flavor, as one would expect.

I preferred the brighter taste of the Mike’s Amazing deli mustard, which was more like my beloved Ba-Tampte (but not on that level) than Gulden’s spicy brown. I was enjoying a ham and cheese sandwich here, since I treat myself to a whole spiral-sliced ham about once a year when Aldi deeply discounts them after the holidays (I call them my “half-price Hanukkah hams”), but that’s not the only reason I liked this mustard better.

Over a year ago, back in February 2025, I took a trip down to Miami to visit my parents and see one of my all-time favorite musical groups with my best friend: the legendary hip hop collective De La Soul. That’s when I had one of the top two meals of my entire life, at Red Rooster Overtown. But on my rare trips down to Miami, I like to stop at all the bougie grocery stores in Broward and Palm Beach Counties to hunt for unfamiliar mustards and other condiments that aren’t available here in Orlando. I visited three markets and made out like a bandit. I’ve been slowly making my way through this haul for over a year, all leading up to this review:

I found a few of these at Carmine’s Gourmet Market, one of the nicest and bougiest grocery stores I’ve ever been to, in tony Palm Beach Gardens. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many high-end condiments and sauces for sale at one place before, and I was in heaven. They had several sauces and condiments with their own private label, including some mustards. I bought the two most intriguing flavors. The jalapeño mustard was paler and creamier than most spicy yellow mustards I’ve tried over the years, kind of like a cross between a yellow mustard and a Dijon. As usual, the heat was more mild than wild, but I liked it a lot, especially on these crispy house-made potato chips that were left over from Runabout Brewing Co.

I am an onion freak, much to my wife’s chagrin. I love onions and put them in or on everything. Most of the time, I buy sweet onions, even when recipes call for harsher-tasting white or yellow onions, so I couldn’t pass up trying Carmine’s Vidalia onion mustard. Now this one was surprisingly sweet, despite having the texture of grated onions giving it some thick body. I’m so glad I tried it, but I don’t know if I would get this one again. It was too sweet for me.

But sometimes a sweeter mustard hits in all the right ways. Kozlik’s is a Canadian mustard brand, and it is the finest I’ve ever encountered. I’ve never had a bad Kozlik’s flavor; in fact, they have all been among the best mustards I’ve tasted in my life. Unfortunately, nobody sells them in Orlando (The Ancient Olive in Winter Park used to, but not in years), and they are expensive, but I was glad to find them at Carmine’s. I always love balsamic vinegar, figs, and dates, so I couldn’t pass up Kozlik’s balsamic fig and date mustard. It was thick, sweet, rich, and tangy, and I can’t say enough good things about it. For a guy who usually eschews sweeter mustards for anything spicy and deli-style, this was a huge hit. Honestly, you could even dab this mustard on vanilla ice cream, and it would slap. But if you put it on chicken, pork, or fish, you couldn’t go wrong.

I also love maple as a flavor, and maple syrup can be a great ingredient in savory and spicy marinades and sauces. I also indulged in Kozlik’s Amazing Maple mustard, and it lived up to its name. This one would be amazing with salty breakfast meats, among other things. I might have even spread some on a Sausage McMuffin with Egg, classy guy that I am.

About 25 years ago, Food Network used to feature celebrity chefs who actually taught you how to cook on their shows, instead of just endless, pointless cupcake competitions. I loved this era of Food Network, and it inspired me to become both a better home cook and a more adventurous diner in general. Emeril Lagasse emerged from New Orleans as a successful chef, restauranteur, and multimedia mogul, to the point where he once owned two restaurants here in Orlando, both of which are long gone. You don’t hear about Emeril much anymore, but every time I attempted one of his recipes, it was rad.

When I stopped at the Famous Market Deli, a kosher grocery store and delicatessen in Delray Beach, Florida, on the same trip, I was thrilled to find multiple mustards from Emeril’s own brand, which I’ve never seen for sale anywhere else. I bought three of them. How could I not?

This was a recent roast pork loin sandwich on toasted keto bread from Aldi, garnished with fresh spinach, homemade Chicago-style spicy giardiniera (that came out so well), balsamic glaze, and Emeril’s deli style mustard, which was another Gulden’s-esque mustard, but I think better. As I’ve said before, I love strong flavors, and I’m obsessed with how acidic flavors really make every meal pop. BAM!

Emeril’s horseradish mustard was even better, on yet another pork loin sandwich, this one topped with hot cherry peppers and Grillo’s pickles (my favorite commercially available pickles that I’ve found). It made me feel things! BAM!

And here is yet another pork loin sandwich with giardiniera, Grillo’s pickles, and Emeril’s jalapeño mustard, a yellow mustard jazzed up with random tiny flecks of spicy peppers. This would be a fabulous mustard for a hot dog, a Cuban sandwich, or anything else you’d put regular, everyday yellow mustard on. With very few exceptions (like Beaver products), the “spicy” mustards are never as spicy as I anticipate or crave, but this was a fine product nonetheless, and it doesn’t have the weird and unnecessary ingredients I discovered in Beaver mustards. BAM!

Have I made you miss Emeril? Maybe not so much?

For the longest time, you couldn’t get Nathan’s mustards anywhere in the Orlando area. My dad craved them, so I ordered some for him from a mail order company called Pop Pop Foods, but the shipping was very high, so I didn’t get any for myself. When I found Nathan’s deli mustard and spicy brown mustard at the Famous Market Deli last year, I bought a bottle of each for myself, even though I already reviewed the Nathan’s deli mustard in Cutting the Mustard III after trying it at my parents’ house.

But I tried Nathan’s spicy brown mustard on a delicious and keto-friendly egg bite I made earlier this year after blending eggs with cottage cheese, then filling baking cups with ham, jalapeño peppers, the egg and cottage cheese mixture, and I think muenster cheese, then baking them. These were quick, easy, tasty, and carb-free bites I could microwave and chomp on whenever I wanted, and they paired exceptionally well with multiple mustards. Nathan’s makes one of the better spicy brown mustards I’ve sampled in all my years — definitely better than Gulden’s or Mike’s Amazing.

A few weeks ago, I was at the gargantuan Walmart Supercenter near my home, actually getting some bloodwork done at the Quest Diagnostics lab inside the Walmart (something that always makes me think of a late-stage capitalist dystopia). I rarely go out of my way to shop at Walmart, but if I’m there, I always look down the action figure aisle (old habits die hard) and check out the groceries to see what they have that other places don’t carry. I was pleasantly surprised to see Walmart stocks Nathan’s deli mustard, spicy brown, and a new flavor that I wasn’t expecting but maybe should have: hot honey deli mustard! I had to have it, and it did not disappoint. It’s everything you love from the regular (very good) deli mustard, but with a touch of sweet and a pleasant amount of heat. On yet another roast pork loin sandwich on keto bread, I tried the hot honey deli mustard with Sir Kensington’s chipotle mayonnaise and some sweet peppers I pickled myself in the leftover spicy brine from a larger jar of hot cherry peppers. Everything paired so well, the sandwich practically sang.
Hot honey is definitely having a moment right now, the way chipotle and sriracha were the “it” condiments in past years, and it makes sense. Try hot honey on pizza some time, and you won’t regret it. Deli purists might be appalled by the concept of Nathan’s hot honey deli mustard, but I thought the flavor profile worked very well, and I would get this one again. (Don’t put this on pizza, though, or you will regret it.)

Sharp-eyed Saboscrivnerinos may have noticed the Emeril’s and Nathan’s mustards come in identical plastic bottles, so I’m guessing they are made at the same facility, although I could be wrong about that.

I first tried Sy Ginsberg’s New York Style deli mustard at the Palm Avenue Deli in Sarasota, Florida, a few years ago. That was a wonderful deli meal, and I would be a regular patron if it wasn’t so many hours away from us. But when I found Sy Ginsberg at the Famous Market Deli in Delray Beach, I had to get a bottle to enjoy at home. This time I added it to egg salad, along with Foraging Fox smoked garlic mayo (something I picked up on clearance at Sprouts grocery store) and Hoff Dirty Dust, an awesome seasoning blend I picked up on clearance at Fresh Market. Hoff was a hot sauce company that recently went out of business, but I loved their hot sauces and especially this seasoning, which tastes just like the seasoning on Zapp’s Voodoo potato chips — salty, tangy, smoky, vinegary, spicy, and sweet all at once. I bought the place out because I knew it would be gone forever. Anyway, I always like egg salad, and this was an excellent batch, thanks in large part to Sy Ginsberg. What a mensch!

Last summer, hip hop DJ and producer Mustard (real name: Dijon Isaiah McFarlane, which is just perfect) got together with condiment giant Heinz to release a limited edition MUSTAAAAAARD, which was chipotle honey mustard. I remember it was briefly available at Buffalo Wild Wings restaurants (which I really do not like) and at some Target stores and Amazon. I had to try this, especially as a fan of both mustard and hip hop, so feeling that FOMO, I ordered my bottle from Amazon. (Of course, months later, I found these at Ollie’s Bargain Outlet marked down to a dollar each.)
Heinz MUSTAAAAAARD tasted more like a vaguely mustard-based barbecue sauce, slightly sweet and slightly smoky, but not the least bit spicy. It had a creamy consistency, but there wasn’t any oil added. The ingredients were distilled white vinegar, sugar, water, mustard seed, honey, and less than 2% of salt, mustard flour, natural smoke flavor, chipotle peppers, molasses, paprika, spices, turmeric, and “natural flavor.”

This is an earlier chicken salad sandwich on the excellent sourdough bread from the Sourdough Bread House, a Turkish treasure here in Casselberry that I recommend to all locals. I added Sy Ginsberg’s deli mustard to the chicken salad along with Foraging Fox smoked jalapeno mayo, chopped Grillo’s pickles and pepperoncini peppers, dried shallots, and Hoff Dirty Dust seasoning salt, but I topped the sandwich with the MUSTAAAAAARD to give it a hit of smoky, creamy sweetness. It was a bit much, and it took me a while to get through the bottle. I’m not a cynical person, so whenever I’m disappointed or let down by something, whether it’s a movie or a food, I always wish I liked it more than I did, and that was the case with this.

Despite my reservations about both honey mustards and Dijons, this Bornier honey Dijon mustard, a French product, was far better than I expected. This was one time where I made stuffed pork loin, cutting into the cylindrical cut in a spiral pattern so I could “roll it out,” then pounding it flat with a rolling pin, stuffing it with fresh spinach, sun-dried tomatoes, spicy pickled cherry peppers, seasoned bread crumbs, and parmesan cheese, then rolling it back up to roast so it looks pretty when you slice it. (I got better after this early attempt.) Anyway, with all those strong, savory flavors, the Bornier honey Dijon paired very well with the stuffed pork loin — thick, not overwhelmingly sweet, and the white wine flavor and mild nose-tingling sensation came through.

Finally, this California Olive Ranch roasted garlic, Dijon, and rosemary marinade came from The Fresh Market, a bougie grocery store if ever there was one. I used most of the bottle marinating my usual pork loins, which I roast and slice thin for so many of the above sandwiches. I’m not the biggest rosemary fan in the world (no, not even with potatoes), but luckily for me, the garlic and Dijon flavors came through stronger than the rosemary, which I often find overpowering. I’m very glad I tried this, but I think I got the bottle on clearance, so I don’t know if I would restock this marinade at full price.

So by my count, that was *22* new mustards I reviewed for you in 2026. Some great, some good, some passable, and a couple I never want or need to taste again. I hope anyone who stuck around to the end enjoyed this journey, and while I don’t expect anyone to race off to track any of these down, please let me know if you do, and what you think of them. In fact, if you have any mustard recommendations for me, please share, because I’m always looking to expand my palate and my collection. Mustard manufacturers, to paraphrase TLC, I ain’t too proud to beg for free samples, as long as you’re cool with me reviewing them objectively. As you may have realized, I’m a nerd who loves trying new foods and sharing information about them, and I’m always on a quest for new and interesting mustards. I guess you could call these recurring Cutting the Mustard features “yellow journalism.”

Junior Colombian Burger

It has been a while since I’ve been to Junior Colombian Burger (https://juniorcolombianburger.com/), which has four locations in Orlando, none of which are exactly close to me. But the one I visited was in East Orlando, between UCF’s sprawling campus and the Waterford Lakes sprawling shopping center, at 11875 East Colonial Drive, Orlando, FL 32826. Junior’s is a casual restaurant where you order at the counter, and they have a lot to choose from: multiple burgers, hot dogs, arepas (savory Colombian corn pastries stuffed with cheese, beef, or chicken), empanadas, fries covered with various toppings, and plantains covered with various toppings. This is not exactly health food, especially when you realize there are eight different sauces to dip your food in. I fully admit the allure of multiple sauce combinations and permutations is what pulled me in to finally try Junior’s.

From left to right: pink sauce (kind of like a ketchup/mayo concoction), pineapple sauce (sweet and sticky; thinner than preserves), garlic sauce (mayo-based for creaminess), Zulu hot sauce, and Bella hot sauce.

And in additional squeeze bottles, pale orange creamy chipotle sauce, tangy barbecue sauce, and a mysterious unlabeled green sauce.

Here they are! Do I remember which is which? Abso-fucking-lutely not! Like I said, it has been a while. But were they good? Yes, every one is worth trying, as long as you’re there.

RING THE ALARM! These onion rings were breaded rather than battered, which is not my preferred style. They were on the greasy side and remained boiling lava hot while I tried to eat them, complete with that mouth-shredding texture. But they functioned mostly as delivery devices for the eight condiments.

Because this was my first visit, I chose the eponymous Junior’s burger, with a single beef patty, American cheese, lettuce, tomato, cooked onion, potato chips, pineapple sauce, pink sauce, and garlic sauce on a soft brioche bun. Yes, there’s a lot going on there, but that is far from their most complicated or decadent burgers. As you can see, the patty is on the small side, cooked like a smashburger (although it didn’t get much in the way of crispiness from the Maillard reaction), and gets a bit lost in the mix with all the other flavors and textures.
I didn’t hate it by any means, but there are certainly better burgers to be found in Orlando. I think a thicker, juicier burger patty would help immensely, but I always prefer those to thin smashburgers.

Next time I’ll branch out from burgers and try something a little more unique. I love that they have a ridiculous-looking sandwich served on flat fried plantains instead of bread called the amor toxico (toxic love), topped with cheese sauce, queso fresco, mozzarella cheese, ketchup, mustard, garlic sauce, tomato, lettuce, corn, and a choice of beef, chicken, or both. I know Junior’s Colombian Burger has a strong and loyal fan following, so please tell me, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos: what are your favorite menu items, and what should I get next time?

Uncle Tony’s Backyard BBQ

I love barbecue, and now that I’m making a genuine effort to eat fewer carbs, I have made two visits to a relatively new barbecue restaurant, knowing I could focus on delicious meat and hopefully make wise choices with the sides. Uncle Tony’s Backyard BBQ (https://uncletonysbackyardbbq.com/) is located in Orlando’s Pinecastle neighborhood, at 6807 South Orange Avenue, south of Lancaster Avenue (which you can take west to Orange Blosson Trail get to Saboscrivner favorites Bombay Street Kitchen and Tortas El Rey). Back in 2018, when I had just started this blog, I reviewed a short-lived sandwich shop called Dancing Pigs Deli in the same location Uncle Tony’s has been operating in for the past four years. Because it is all the way across town from me, I only recently made it down there, but I’m so glad I did. By the way, it is open Tuesday – Saturday, 11 AM to 3 PM. There are tables for dining in, but no booths.

I brought home takeout both times. On my first visit, my wife requested St. Louis style ribs, so I got her an order that came with four generously sized, tender ribs. By the way, St. Louis style is more of a cut than a specific barbecue style or flavor. All the meals come with two sides, but the only thing she was in the mood for was collard greens. I got her the greens, plus baked beans for myself.

Meals also come with a choice of bread, and she wanted cornbread. It’s a dollar upcharge, but it is so good, that’s a bargain at twice the price.

I got a two-meat combo for myself, with spare ribs (so we could try both kinds of ribs) and brisket, plus collard greens and potato salad. Between those two and the baked beans, I knew I would be in side heaven, and you can gauge barbecue joints by the quality of their sides as well as their meats. I liked both kinds of ribs, but she liked my spare ribs even better than her St. Louis ribs. After I had one of these, we traded the rest of our ribs. Happy wife, happy life!

Here’s a better view of that brisket on a separate plate. It looks a little dry, but it tasted great, I assure you. I prefer fattier brisket, so I made a mental note to request it that way next time.

The potato salad was Southern style, with some crunch and tanginess from diced pickles, as well as some yellow mustard in there. This might be a hot take, but aside from chips, potato salad is probably my favorite way to eat potatoes. Better than baked, mashed, even fries? I said what I said!

Forgive me — I don’t remember exactly which sauce was which, but the reds were hot and extra hot, and the oranges were “tangy” and mustard. I liked them all, but naturally, I preferred the hot ones. But whenever I visit a new barbecue restaurant, I want to try all of the sauces.

I returned to Uncle Tony’s in late April when my wife was craving ribs, greens, and cornbread again. I brought her home a two-meat combo with the spare ribs, a smoked chicken leg and thigh, collard greens, and yellow rice and peas. The ribs were good this second time, but we both underestimated how perfect the smoked chicken would be. I always prefer thighs and legs (at least when it comes to chicken), and they were so tender and juicy. The skin pulled off easily, and she doesn’t like to eat chicken skin, so that was my little treat. It was sooooo good. This might have been the best smoked chicken we’ve ever had anywhere. The rice and peas were somewhat nondescript, aside from being salty, but the greens remain the best around.

I got that great cornbread for both of our sides so she could have them, since I’m still trying to be better about carbs.

I got myself a two-meat combo with the the St. Louis-style ribs again, plus smoked sausage. My favorite part about barbecue sausage is the almost crispy natural casing, and this did not disappoint. I admit I prefer SmokeMade Meats + Eats for sausage as well as brisket, but we are both superfans of the ribs here at Uncle Tony’s. The sauteed cabbage in the top left was extremely salty, but I love cabbage in all its forms, so I’m glad I tried it. But those greens have never failed us and never could.

This time, I splurged on the beef rib as well, a huge and expensive piece of meat we have both enjoyed at multiple barbecue spots, including SmokeMade, Briskets in Oviedo, and the much-missed Git-N-Messy BBQ (RIP, Chef Chuck Cobb). Beef ribs are a perfect example of a “sometimes food,” for multiple reasons (fattiness plus cost), but it was a worthwhile indulgence, since they only ever offer them on Fridays and Saturdays. Luckily, they are big enough that we can easily get a few portions out of each one. I could easily slide the bone right out of the rich, marbled meat.

Here’s a top view, so you can see that peppery crust on it.

Well folks, I gotta tell you, my wife liked the smoked chicken and collard greens so much that she asked me to return the following Saturday to bring home more. And I never say no to Dr. Professor Ma’am if it’s within my power to do what she wants. The smoked chicken was just as good this time, after setting a very high bar.

Finally, here’s a good close-up of those tender, savory, smoky collards that are packed with smoked meat:

It took me three visits to finally try Uncle Tony’s macaroni and cheese, and it is wonderful. Definitely one of the best mac and cheeses in the Orlando area. Not baked to dryness, and not swimming in a gloopy, gloppy cheese “sauce.” Just perfect.

I had to bring home another beef rib as a treat. Here’s a surprisingly good photo I took after removing the bone, which was as long as my forearm. (As Jason Statham said in the movie Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, “It’s as long as my arm; I wish it was as long as something else!”)

And here’s that top view again. The rib was even better this second time around, and more photogenic to boot.

Despite the distance, we intend to keep coming to Uncle Tony’s, most likely to continue bringing home takeout. Our other favorite barbecue place in Orlando, the aforementioned, Michelin-recommended SmokeMade Meats + Eats, isn’t exactly close either, but we love both, and it is nice to have a couple of fantastic options to choose from. I think their beef ribs are about equal, but I give Uncle Tony’s the edge for smoked chicken and all the different sides, especially the greens, potato salad, and mac and cheese. Also, now that I’ve spoken to Tony himself and his wife LaShunda, they are the nicest people, and they deserve all of our support. If you have already been to Uncle Tony’s Backyard Barbecue, what are your favorite dishes on the menu, and what do I need to try next time?

Holbox (Los Angeles)

Holbox (https://www.holboxla.com/) is the first actual Michelin-starred restaurant I’ve ever dined at, although I have visited several Michelin Bib Gourmand award winners and Recommended restaurants here in Orlando. It specializes in Mexican seafood dishes, and in all my research on Los Angeles restaurants, it is one of the most popular and highly recommended destinations for Angelenos and tourists alike. However, even though the food is crafted and plated with elegance and style, tasting as beautiful as it looked, it is a humble stall inside Mercado La Paloma, a Mexican food hall in South Los Angeles, surrounded by five more casual food stalls — at the time of this writing, four other Mexican restaurants and one Thai place.

Because you can either eat at the counter or communal tables, I would say Holbox is casual and accessible too, which makes it kind of a novelty for a Michelin-starred restaurant, and extremely unique. They offer an eight-course tasting menu that surely sells out weeks in advance, but I shared a magnificent feast with a good friend on a work trip to L.A. back in November, just sitting at the counter and ordering off the regular menu. I’m so glad we got to experience Holbox for ourselves, after reading so much hype and love online.

(By the way, Holbox is pronounced “OL-bosh,” like the “ol’ swimmin’ hole.” Maybe that wasn’t the best example.)

This was my sparkling lemonade, and we shared these fresh tortilla chips and salsa. Since my friend and I take eating seriously, we almost skipped the chips until I realized they are only $1. How could we say no to $1 chips? That would be worth it anywhere, and especially at the legendary Holbox. They were good chips — so light and thin and crispy! — and the salsa was magnificent.

All four of these fresh hot sauces were stellar: Chile Kut with roasted habanero, Habanero, Arbol-Guajillo, and Chile Morita. The roasted habanero had an almost creamy consistency, and the Arbol-Guajillo and Chile Morita were deliciously smoky. I wish they sold them in jars like these, but I would not have been able to bring them home with me on the plane anyway.

This beautiful, intricate creation was my tuna tartare tostada, with Baja bluefin tartare, Sinaloa-style salsa negra, pickled carrots and onions, dollops of pureed avocado, and fresh cilantro on a thin and crispy fried corn tortilla (like an open-faced taco).

And my friend got this smoked kanpachi tostada, kanpachi being a type of fish. His tostada also included Hokkaido scallops, shrimp, the aforementioned arbol-guajillo hot sauce, dollops of avocado, and cilantro.

Since I am obsessed with smoked fish, I got this house-smoked kanpachi taco for myself, with queso chihuahua, salsa cruda, avocado, and peanut chili oil on a fresh blue corn tortilla. Every bite was fabulous.

You can see the smoked fish interior better in this shot:

In the photo below, the taco on the top is the Baja fish taco, with crispy battered local Vermillion rockfish, crema, mayonnaise, salsa roja, and pico de gallo. I got a perfect bite of the fried rockfish, and it might have been my first time trying that fish (a second new fish on a trip to L.A., after discovering sand dabs at H.M.S. Bounty!).On the bottom is the pan-seared Hokkaido diver scallop taco, with three scallops, chile x’catic sauce, caramelized onions, tomato, and marinated fennel on the same blue corn tortilla. I got a scallop, and it was as perfect as a scallop can be.

Finally, we shared the filete al carbon, a mesquite-grilled filet of branzino served over cilantro rice with black beans, more of that x’catic sauce, avocado, and pico de gallo, with rolled-up tortillas in that foil off to the left side.I think we settled on this dish because they were out of something that interested us both more, but it did not disappoint, despite seeming a little more ordinary than the other creations.

Every time I hang out with this friend of mine, we always fit in an epic meal. We enjoyed Langer’s Delicatessen, Pann’s, and Genghis Cohen on three of my previous L.A. trips, as well as a few other L.A. restaurants (including a famous, iconic Hollywood classic) and an awe-inspiring indigenous restaurant in Portland, Oregon, that I have yet to review. He’s a stand-up guy, a great professor, and a fellow adventurous diner, so I am always happy to catch up with him when I’m on the other coast. Holbox was one of our greatest discoveries to date, and if you don’t want to take my word for it, that tire company loved it enough to give it a coveted Star.

The Hummus Guy

The Hummus Guy (https://thehummusguyft.com/) is a Middle Eastern food truck that sets up at 711 North Orlando Avenue (also known as 17-92), Maitland, Florida 32751, outside of a bank building. The truck’s usual hours are noon to 7 PM, every day except Monday and Saturday, but always check their Facebook page for updates, just in case. A friend of mine has been singing its praises for a while, but I finally tried it in January, and I’ve been back many times since that first discovery — almost weekly!
The Hummus Guy isn’t just a generic description, but the owner-operator’s name is Guy and he makes he best hummus ever… as well as the best of so many other things. Buckle yourselves in for this one, constant readers! You’re about to discover one of my new favorite places to eat in the entire Orlando area.

I had taken large, clear photos of the menu to share, but Guy recently posted a new, updated menu online, so I’m using his own posted images instead. These are all the pita sandwich and plate (bowl) options:

Here are all the “extras” — a la carte orders that aren’t sandwiches or bowls.

The first time I visited the truck was a pretty cold January evening. While I waited for my food, Guy was kind enough to give me a free sample of four freshly rolled, freshly fried falafel balls with a pool of the smoothest, creamiest tahini (sesame paste) ever. These were so delicious, with the perfect crispy crunch, soft and yielding centers, and not greasy at all. Best falafel ever? Certainly the best falafel I’ve ever had anywhere, and my falafel-loving wife would soon agree.

This is the crown jewel, the chicken shawarma pita sandwich. I’ve been on a shawarma kick lately, discovering a great grilled beef shawarma at The Cairo Express Egyptian food truck in Winter Park last summer, as well as a few lesser shawarmas. But this is the absolute best chicken shawarma I’ve ever had in my life. Best chicken shawarma in the world? I can’t answer that, but I would certainly support it in a shawarma-off. So delicious, so flavorful, so tender. It’s addictive. We have since ordered it so many times, and it is never dry. So many shawarmas are disappointingly dry!The pita sandwich is garnished with chopped salad, creamy hummus, and tahini. By the way, Guy’s pita bread is all baked from scratch, and it is smaller diameter than most store-bought pitas, but a lot thicker and fluffier. It makes for a wonderful sandwich, and those sandwiches are stuffed so full of ingredients spilling out the top, they are best enjoyed on the premises. (Don’t worry, there are a few tiny portable tables with chairs.)

This is one of the many chicken shawarma plates I’ve brought home over the past two months. This one is served on a bed of addictive, savory mujjadara, buttery rice sauteed with lentils and a healthy amount of caramelized onions. As a caramelized onion lover, I love this mujjadara, and I appreciate that Guy goes HARD on the onions. Even my wife, who usually hates onions in anything, likes this stuff.

On a later visit, I brought home an order of the best chicken shawarma ever, which came with a simple side of tahini. This was a HUGE portion, and while I probably could have devoured it in one sitting, my wife and I spaced it out and made it last a few days, since I am consciously trying to eat less, eat healthier, and lose weight (believe it or not).

Here is a falafel plate I brought home for my wife on one of my many recent visits, on another bed of that insanely good mujjadara. That’s hummus on the side, topped with some of Guy’s spicy sechug sauce, made with fresh herbs (I’m guessing cilantro and parsley) and jalapenos. I’ve bought the Trader Joe’s version before (they spell it “zhoug” and describe it as a spicy condiment from Yemen), but Guy’s version is lighter, thinner, and less oily than Trader Joe’s and reminds me of a spicy tomatillo salsa.

More recently, my wife requested a simple order of falafel, not as part of a plate. We got a lot of balls!

(Seriously, these orders usually include 12 or 13.)

Something my wife and I discovered over a recent breakfast at the new Turkish restaurant Cafe De Wan in Casselberry is that you can add a thick, syrupy, sweet grape molasses called pekmez to tahini, and it becomes like the Turkish version of peanut butter and jelly. I bought a big jar of pekmez at Global Bazaar, a Turkish grocery store, and sometimes she will dab a little into the side cups of The Hummus Guy’s tahini for a uniquely sweet treat.

This is Guy’s chicken schnitzel, thin chicken tenders that are breaded and fried to perfection, also over mujjadara. They are great too, don’t get me wrong, but if I come here for chicken, I’m going to stick to the chicken shawarma and leave the chicken tenders to my beloved Chicken Fire. But the chicken schnitzel had a lot of flavor and has never been greasy, dry, or burnt. With so many restaurants serving and even specializing in chicken tenders, a lot of them half-ass it, but not Guy! This is a man who takes so much pride in his product, you can tell. It is refreshing, and the side of hummus topped with more spicy sechug sauce is even more refreshing.

This is the sabich pita sandwich, which would have looked a lot prettier if I ate it on premises instead of having Guy wrap it up to go. It is a sandwich of baked eggplant, a brown boiled egg, chopped salad, fresh herbs, amba sauce (made of mangoes and pickles), and tahini. It tasted better than this photo looks, I swear. Next time I’ll get one and eat it while I wait for the rest of my to-go order.

Likewise, the kebab pita sandwich from my third visit, with two grilled beef patties mixed with herbs and spices, would have looked a lot nicer if I ate it while hanging out at one of the tiny tables set up outside the truck. There were tomatoes and scallions in this sandwich, along with the hummus and tahini. I asked for some of the amba sauce in this one too, once I found out what it actually was. I love the intense sweetness and tartness of mango, and I always think something acidic is the missing ingredient in most dishes that brings them from good to great.

This is one of the many 16-ounce containers of hummus I’ve brought home, because it is such a rich, creamy, tasty hummus. None of the premade commercial brands at the supermarket can compare. It comes topped with parsley, a little olive oil, and that spicy sechug sauce. My wife has been eating a lot of roasted or baked sweet potatoes at home, especially the incredible Japanese murasaki sweet potatoes they sell at Trader Joe’s. I never add any oil during the roasting process, but she likes to apply hummus and/or tahini when she eats them! She is definitely in her sweet potato and hummus era, thanks to The Hummus Guy.

This is Guy’s babaganush, roasted eggplant with tahini and garlic. It can be used as a spread or a dip, and it is one of my wife’s favorite things in the world to eat, so we try it everywhere. This babaganush is somewhat more tahini-forward than others we’ve tried, where you taste more of a smoky flavor from the roasted eggplant.

To fully compare and contrast, I also ordered the eggplant mayo salad, which is roasted eggplant with mayonnaise instead of tahini, as well as the requisite garlic. I’m not quite as into tahini as my wife, but I am a sucker for mayo-based deli salads (macaroni, potato, egg, tuna, chicken, cole slaw), and I honestly liked this one better than the babaganush.

The Hummus Guy has become a new Friday evening tradition for us, since he is not there on Saturdays. He closes at 7 PM, so I try to make it over there in the last hour he’s open. We’ve been going through a 16-ounce container of his hummus each week, in addition to whatever else I bring home. Guy is a stand-up guy, so friendly and welcoming, and his food is second to none in the Orlando area. He’s always busy, so people are definitely discovering his amazing food and spreading the word, and now it’s my turn to do so. Guy’s wife Abbie, who was so patient with me when I first texted to find out their location and hours, is a lovely person too. Try their food soon — the shawarma, the mujjadara, the falafel, the hummus, the tahini, the fresh-baked pita bread — and I promise you won’t regret it!

Cafe De Wan

Cafe De Wan (https://www.instagram.com/cafedewan_/) is a brand-new Turkish restaurant that just opened a few weeks ago in Casselberry. My wife and I love Turkish food, and we are still sad about Beyti Mediterranean Grill closing during the pandemic, only a year or so after it opened in our neighborhood. We really like Sourdough Bread House, another Turkish cafe in Casselberry, but Cafe De Wan is even closer, with more savory dishes on its menu. But like Sourdough Bread House, just five minutes north on Semoran Boulevard, Cafe De Wan serves an awe-inspiring Turkish breakfast feast.

We started with a spinach and onion borek (left), a flaky pastry filled with seasoned, sauteed (what else?) spinach and onions. On the right is a “Turkish pastry” that was very dense and barely sweet. These arrived at our table sliced up. They were sold separately (not part of the Turkish breakfast), but we were happy to have them, due to so many spreads and dips that were about to arrive.

The Turkish breakfast “plate” (which actually includes many plates) comes with a pot of steaming hot black tea. I am not a big tea drinker, but this was delicious, especially after adding a few sugar cubes and waiting for it to cool. I surprised myself by how much I enjoyed this tea.

Well, here we go! We first received a wooden platter with walnuts, almonds, golden raisins, grapes, orange slices, very nice green and black olives (both kinds had pits), English cucumbers, grape tomatoes, and mixed greens topped with three different kinds of cheese. The top dishes were fig jam, creamy tahini with pekmez, or grape molasses, swirled into it (not date syrup, as I originally thought), and what I thought was ajvar, a thick dip of roasted red peppers blended with garlic and olive oil, topped with a walnut. (Ajvar wasn’t listed elsewhere on the menu, but I’ve had it in jars a few times, and this was more like ajvar than any version of ezme, a spicy Turkish salsa, that I’ve ever tried.) I devoured the fig jam and ajvar, and my wife was crazy for the tahini with pekmez. A reader informed me that the combination is like Turkish peanut butter and jelly, which makes all the sense in the world. Thank you, Ipek! At the bottom, there was Nutella, that chocolatey hazelnut spread that is beloved around the world, and thick honey with decadent clotted cream in it.

The Turkish breakfast plate came with two pieces of this fantastic Turkish bread, which we both liked more than the Turkish pastry above. It was so fluffy!

This plate was menemen, a dish of scrambled eggs mixed with sauteed peppers and tomatoes and topped with a bit of cheese. I devoured the menemen since my wife didn’t want anything to do with it, so that worked out.

The Turkish breakfast plate came with yet another plate with a plain egg, fried over easy with a runny yolk. She ate that egg, and I did not get a picture of it, but I’m sure you are envisioning it in your head right now. This was so much food for $25, but we weren’t even done!

Just like I have go-to dishes that I will order anywhere (Italian subs, onion rings, chili, macaroni salad), my wife is like that with baba ghanoush, the Middle Eastern dip of roasted eggplant blended with tahini, olive oil, and garlic. We were disappointed by another new restaurant’s baba ghanoush recently, one that tasted like straight-up tahini, lacking that smoky flavor that comes from roasting the eggplants, so we were hoping for the best with Cafe De Wan’s version. It was stupendous, and the smoky flavor came through first and foremost. That’s another cured black olive on top.

The baba ghanoush came with yet another type of bread for dipping, this time pretty standard (store-bought?) soft pita bread wedges. I left most of the baba ghanoush for my wife, the true aficionado, but I used the pita for dipping in everything else on the table.

This was the lahmacun combo, one of my favorite dishes at any Turkish restaurant, which I order everywhere and have even made from scratch at home. It looks like a pizza without cheese, but it is a flatbread topped with seasoned ground lamb, onions, tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and spices, baked until crispy. Instead of cutting it into slices, you essentially put a salad on top of it (usually sliced tomatoes, onions, and flat-leaf parsley — not cilantro!), squeeze on some lemon juice, and roll it up to eat like a wrap. It is so good, and this was one of the better lahmacuns I’ve tried anywhere. It was definitely the crispiest and thinnest!

This was the “dip sauce” that came with the lahmacun combo. It was kind of like toum, a creamy, garlicky dip with the consistency of hummus. It was great, especially with so many things to dip into it!

In addition to the pot of tea that came with the Turkish breakfast plate(s), my wife ordered a drink called the Crimson Bloom, a combination of hibiscus, cranberry, and clove. She always likes jamaica (hibiscus) aguas frescas at Mexican restaurants, so this was a big hit with her. It also sounds like a superhero, or possibly a villain. The white drink is homemade ayran, a yogurt drink similar to Indian lassi, but this was tangy and sour, rather than sweet like lassi. I would not have ordered it, but it came with the lahmacun combo, which was a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t really into it, but my wife enjoyed it, so that worked out well. Next time (and there absolutely will be a next time), I’ll try Cafe De Wan’s mint lemonade. It is the same price as the ayran ($3.99), so I wonder if they would consider substituting it in the future. I would definitely get that lahmacun combo again!

It is my pleasure to welcome Cafe De Wan to our neighborhood. It doesn’t offer all the savory Turkish entrees you would find on the menu at Istanbul Grill or Bosphorous, but it has more of a cafe atmosphere, for lighter meals. That luxurious Turkish breakfast plate (which deserves to be called a feast or a smorgasbord, considering how many individual plates are involved) is a perfect thing for two people on a date to share, and they offer it all day, not just during breakfast hours. Yes, I asked. I am familiar with the concept of “girl dinner” — eating little bits of this and that, and that’s how I eat many of my meals at home, usually standing up in my kitchen so I’m not away from work for too long. If you like “girl dinner,” you’ll go gaga for the Turkish breakfast plate. My only concern (and it is a small one) is that they didn’t have any of the small plastic ramekin-style containers with lids to take home small amounts of different things, but that’s okay. They had larger containers, and we made do.

Believe me, my wife and I got at least four full meals out of everything we ordered, and you may have already noticed that I eat a lot. (I’m going to try to eat less and eat healthier in 2026, though, so wish me luck! I’m gonna need it.) Please give Cafe De Wan a try, because it deserves our support. Unique restaurants like this don’t always thrive or even survive in Casselberry, and I really enjoyed it, so please help them become a dining destination!

Colorado Fondue Company

I live right near the Colorado Fondue Company in Casselberry (https://www.coloradofondue.com/), but I had not been there in close to 15 years, not since I was dating my wife. I do love dipping foods in other foods, so it surprises me that I haven’t come here more to get my dip on. The menu features a variety of cheese and chocolate fondues, meant for sharing and dipping, as well as meats that you cook yourself on heated stones on the table.

It is a beautiful restaurant space, designed to resemble a cozy ski chalet in the Rocky Mountains, so it has an upscale-yet-festive atmosphere that would be perfect for a date or a special occasion dinner. It is even nicer around the holidays, since they put a lot of effort into decorating the place like crazy for Christmas. I get depressed around the holidays like clockwork, and I don’t do any decorating or much celebrating myself, but even I was struck by how nice it was on my most recent visit with two former co-workers, now friends. That’s why I didn’t want to wait any longer to run this review, here on Christmas Eve. If I can inspire even one couple, family, or friend group to dine there together while the Christmas decorations are still up, I will have done my job (that I don’t make a dime for), and those people will have a grand time.

In addition to a la carte options, Colorado Fondue Company offers four separate dinner options, which they call “trails,” keeping the mountain ski lodge theme. You really have to get along well with the people in your party, because each of the trails requires two people per order. I guess one ravenous person could go to town, though.

The Beginner trail is the cheapest, and each person gets to choose their own soup or salad, but they have to agree on the cheese fondue and chocolate fondue for dessert. The Intermediate trail includes the choice of soup or salad, a cheese fondue, and a selection of meats, but no dessert. My party of three went with the Expert trail, so we each got a salad, we agreed on the cheese fondue, we got the meats, and we got a dessert fondue. There is an even pricier Extreme trail with more premium meats, but we were content with the Expert options.

This was the seasonal Holiday Harvest salad that one of my colleagues ordered, with chopped iceberg lettuce, roasted pumpkin seeds, Craisins, crumbled gorgonzola cheese, and sliced apples. The website mentions a bacon balsamic vinaigrette dressing, but this looks more like a ranch dressing.

Another colleague got the Mountain Mix salad, with a blend of “harvest greens” and iceberg lettuce (although that looks like all iceberg to me), a “sesame-nut trail mix blend,” and shredded sharp cheddar cheese with honey Dijon ranch dressing. I do love those crunchy, salty sesame sticks.

For my salad, I chose the Southwest Caesar, with romaine lettuce, toasted croutons, and parmesan Caesar dressing, also anointed with a sweet red pepper coulis. I had to look up coulis on my phone (a thin, pureed sauce made from fruits or vegetables), but they had me at “sweet red pepper.” I stirred it into the salad, and it was a perfectly cromulent Caesar.

We shared more than one basket of these garlic-herb rolls, with crackly exteriors and pillowy soft interiors. They were great for dipping in the cheese fondue and various condiments yet to come.

On my first visit to Colorado Fondue Company with my now-wife, we shared the original cheddar fondue, with sharp aged cheddar and Swiss Emmenthaler cheeses, a beer and bouillon base, garlic, and herbs. This time, with my two colleagues, we shared the bruschetta Jack fondue, with fontina, asiago, and Monterey Jack cheeses, roasted garlic, sun-dried tomatoes, basil pesto, and seasoned toast crumbles on top. It was great.

They brought us a basket of various breads and generic tortilla chips to dip in the fondue. The round slices of pretzel bread were my favorites. They were very similar to the frozen Bavarian pretzels I sometimes buy at Aldi, from the Deutsche Kuche brand (which I pronounce “Douche Cooch”).

The cheese fondue also came with broccoli, sliced carrots, apples, and grapes.

Slainte! L’chayim!

Next, we got two burning hot flat stones and this long platter of raw meat and seafood to cook ourselves. It included (from top to bottom): Pacific white “fusion” shrimp marinated in basil and garlic roasted pesto, coconut milk, and salt and pepper seasoning, Pacific Northwest chicken in a citrus soy marinade with mixed herbs, Colorado lodge sirloin in a teriyaki and soy-infused ginger marinade, filet mignon in roasted garlic pesto, soy sauce, lager beer, and crusted peppercorns, and at the bottom, Jamaican jerk-marinated pork tenderloin.
I don’t have any pictures of the cooked meat, but you know what meat looks like while it’s cooking and when it is cooked. If not, take a peek at similar photos of cooking and cooked meats from my trip to GG Korean BBQ earlier this year. I can tell you that all the meats were very tender except the sirloin, which was chewy. I never order filets, but I was impressed by how tender it was, especially since I like my steak bloody rare.

We also got a fondue pot of boiling hot broth to put the ravioli and potatoes in, and there were already random mushrooms and penne pasta in that broth. I was careful to avoid any mushrooms, my old culinary nemesis.

We got these four sauces for spooning onto our plates to dip: a whipped herbed cream cheese, a creamy red pepper sauce that reminded me of thinner thousand island dressing that wasn’t spicy at all, honey mustard, and savory-sweet teriyaki sauce. Me being me, the Condiment King (with all due respect to DC Comics), I probably paid more attention to these sauces than my dining companions did. But since I wanted to let the meats speak for themselves, I mostly dipped the remaining breads in them.

One of my companions, a brilliant professor and scholar, and one of the kindest people ever, chose our dessert fondue: the Winter Caramel Crunch. It combined milk chocolate, salted caramel, and Irish creme (maybe the actual liqueur, which used to be delicious back when I drank), and was topped with crushed pretzels. I can usually take chocolate or leave it, but it was a very good choice. A real crowd-pleaser, in fact. From the name, I’m guessing it is also seasonal, so try it while you can!

The dessert fondue came with this tray of cream puffs, graham crackers, marshmallows, pretzels, cake pieces, Rice Krispy Treat pieces, sliced bananas, and strawberries. Dipping things in the fondue is always fun, but I ate the strawberries plain, since I like them best that way.

It was really nice catching up with these ladies, since I don’t work with them anymore, and the setting and dinner could not have been better. It would have been pleasant even if we went to some dive, but instead, we had a long, luxurious meal in one of the prettiest restaurants in Seminole County, if not the entire Orlando area.

Seriously, get over there ASAP, before they take down all those Christmas decorations! You won’t be sorry. If you get sentimental and nostalgic at Christmas (and I’m one of the few sad weirdos who doesn’t), you’ll be in holiday heaven. And if you don’t want to splurge too much, you can have a totally nice, light dinner date by just going with the Beginner trail: salads, a cheese fondue you all have to agree upon, and a chocolate fondue you all agree upon, with all the accoutrements, for $16.50 per person. Then you can just focus on dipping and good conversation, without having to cook your own meat.

Fiesta Cancun

Fiesta Cancun (https://fiestacancunfl.com/) is a beautiful, festive, casual Mexican restaurant in Altamonte Springs. It is tucked off the beaten path at 260 Douglas Avenue, just off busy Semoran Boulevard (State Road 436) and a minute from I-4 exit 92. You can’t see it from Semoran, but turn onto Douglas, and it will be on your left before you hit the Waffle House on the left and the Cracker Barrel on the right.

The dining room is so colorful and fun, it is hard not to get swept up in a celebratory spirit and feel like you’re on vacation. I blacked out the faces of nearby diners to preserve their privacy, but you can still tell that the vibes are super-festive.

I’ve said this before, but whenever a Mexican restaurant offers aguas frescas, I know we’re going to be in for good, authentic food. I got a passion fruit agua fresca (one of my favorite flavors of anything), and my wife chose jamaica (hibiscus flower). The glass mugs were huge, but our bill said they cost $7.50 each, and refills cost extra! (The menu says they cost $4.25 each, so maybe they did charge us for refills.) As much as I love it, I’ll stick to water in the future and not drink my calories.

The fresh, free tortilla chips were fine after adding a little salt, and the table salsa was fresh and bright-tasting. But even better, Fiesta Cancun offers a salsa bar, which was a real treat to me.I love a salsa bar, and it is one of the many reasons I’m such a fan of Las Carretas. I appreciated that Fiesta Cancun had handwritten signs posted above each salsa explaining what each one was, and what the ingredients were.

Top row:
Sliced onions with habanero peppers, tomatoes, and lime juice
Spicy molcajete sauce with serrano chiles and onions
Spicy taquera sauce with avocado, serrano chiles, onions, cilantro, and mayonnaise to make it creamy

Bottom row:
Spicy red sauce with chiles de arbol, tomatillos, and onions
Non-spicy salsa verde with tomatillo and cilantro (the only one my wife wanted anything to do with)
Spicy Jalisco sauce with chiles de arbol, serrano chiles, tomatillos, and onions

They all looked so good, and of course I tried them all! They have plenty of tiny plastic cups for you to fill.

My wife was craving a good taco salad in a crispy fried shell. This one included shredded iceberg lettuce, a healthy dollop of guacamole, and pico de gallo and sour cream on the side. I availed myself of the pico, since I am a giant fan of the stuff, and she doesn’t care for onions or tomatoes. You can choose between ground beef, shredded beef, and shredded chicken with the taco salad, but I didn’t see any meat in the photo, and I don’t remember which one my wife ordered.

I had studied the large menu in advance, and I was so excited to see that Fiesta Cancun offered cochinita pibil, a dish from the Yucatan Peninsula that is sometimes called puerco pibil. It consists of citrus-marinated, slow-roasted pork with a complex array of spices and flavors, cooked until it is fork-tender. I am always inspired to order it whenever I see it on a menu thanks to the 2003 action movie Once Upon a Time in Mexico, in which Johnny Depp’s antihero also ordered the dish whenever he encountered it. The DVD extras (remember those?) included badass writer-director-composer Robert Rodriguez demonstrating his own recipe for puerco pibil*, which I made for a work potluck once. It was a labor-intensive recipe, and my version came out great, but my old co-workers were a tough crowd that didn’t share my enthusiasm. My old director actually had the audacity to tell me I should not have wasted so much time making it, and she wouldn’t even try it! To make a long story short, the cochinita pibil at Fiesta Cancun was dry! I know, right? I was disappointed, but I still ate it, and jazzing it up with the various salsas helped immensely. The black beans were fine, and I did love the rich Mexican rice and tangy-sweet, crunchy, pink pickled onions. I wouldn’t order it again, but I wasn’t even mad. I was still having a grand time.

I had also ordered a chile relleno off the a la carte menu, intending to have it later, but I busted into it to make up for the dry pork. I apologize for not photographing a cross-section of the battered and fried poblano pepper stuffed with melty cheese, but I honestly liked it a lot more than the cochinita pibil. I would totally come back and try other things on the menu, but I’d get that chile relleno again too.

I couldn’t take my wife to a Mexican restaurant and not order her churros or sopapillas! This time, the churros won out. The fried dough sticks were covered with cinnamon and sugar and came with a chocolate dipping sauce.

So even though I was disappointed by my cochinita pibil, I would still return to Fiesta Cancun and try other things in the future, if I was ever in Altamonte with people who wanted Mexican food and fun surroundings. You might have already noticed how vast the menu is, and how they offer a lot more seafood dishes than most Mexican restaurants, which makes sense, given that Cancun is a coastal city on the tip of the Yucatan Peninsula. I think it would be a crowd-pleaser for most groups. If you’ve been there before, what are your favorite dishes on the menu, and what should I try next time?

*By the way, I’ve been a fan of Robert Rodriguez ever since I first saw his $7,000 self-financed independent debut El Mariachi back in the early ’90s. As much as I’ve enjoyed most of his movies, his coolest career moment might be when he says in the above video “Not knowing how to cook is like not knowing how to fuck.” Spot on. I also love his advice about learning to cook your two or three favorite dishes very well and making a little restaurant-style menu for your kitchen, to the point where you could always offer a few house specialties to guests with minimal notice or prep. That’s entertainment!