Category: Chili

Philippe the Original (Los Angeles)

On my second trip to Los Angeles for work, I caught a Lyft ride at the airport and went straight to another famous, historic L.A. restaurant, luggage and all, before even checking in at my hotel or reporting to work.  I had done my research like any good librarian, so I planned to go to Philippe the Original (https://www.philippes.com/), the inventors of the French dipped sandwich.  Founded in 1908, Philippe the Original has probably changed very little over the decades.  The prices have surely gone up in the past century and change, but not nearly as much as you would think.

You order and pay at the counter, and then the very patient servers assemble you a tray, cafeteria-style, while doubling as cashiers.  I miss cafeteria-style restaurants.  We went to a bunch when I was a kid, from Morrison’s in the mall to the old K-Mart cafeteria, but you don’t see this much anymore, aside from some casual Latin restaurants like Orlando’s Lechonera El Barrio.  Philippe the Original also has a diner feel to it, since it also serves breakfast (and Los Angeles is a big diner city).  But I was not here for breakfast, dear readers.  Oh no, I was a man with a shopping list.  With an agenda, even.

The main draw is the French-dipped sandwiches, which come on a delicious French roll.  You can also get them on white, wheat, rye, or sourdough bread, but please don’t do this.  You can get the sandwiches single-dipped, double-dipped, or “wet” in au jus, so I opted for a single dip as a first-timer, with an extra ramekin of jus on the side for this Jew.  You can choose between sliced beef, pork, lamb, New York pastrami, ham, or turkey, and even though I’m sure you can’t go wrong with any of those, I had a hard time choosing.  I asked, fully expecting to be told no, if I could get two kinds of meat on my sandwich, and the nice lady said of course!  I couldn’t get half the roll with one and the other half with the other meat, but I could definitely get two different meats stacked upon each other.  Now we were talking!  I asked what she recommended, and she said of the six, she would narrow it down to beef, lamb, and pastrami.  Now, I already had plans to meet friends at one of L.A.’s most iconic deli institutions, so I figured I would save the pastrami for that later meal.  Beef and lamb for the win!   I also added on bleu cheese, which pairs so well with red meat, but rarely makes an appearance in sandwiches and even less often as a thick slice.  It got surprisingly melty on there, between the warm roll, hot meat, and hot jus.  You can see the light brown lines in the cross-section of this roll above the cheese, and that is where they dipped the roll in the jus.  This was a huge, thick, hearty sandwich.  The beef and lamb were both very tender, but I preferred whichever one was sliced thinner (the beef, I think, which surprised me, since I always gravitate toward lamb when it is an option).  That purpley-pink thing in the corner was a pickled egg, one of many accoutrements I ordered with my two-meat sandwich, fished out of a big jar on the counter.  I couldn’t resist!  It was so vinegary and tangy and good.  I love pickled eggs, but never  thought to employ beet juice when I make my own at home.  Now I know… and knowing is half the battle!

Believe it or not, Los Angeles is a big chili city.  Angelenos love putting chili on hot dogs and burgers and serving it in diners, so I figured the meat-centric Philippe the Original would serve a good cup of chili.  They did.  Like everything else, it was pretty classic — no frills, not fancy, just mildly spicy, and of course they knew better than to add beans.  If you imagine a cup of chili from a diner, you’ve got it.  It might not win any awards in the Terlingua Chili  Cookoff, but this is quintessential L.A. chili.  And to me, that makes it quintessential American chili.   

Like any classic diner or cafeteria, Philippe the Original also had a refrigerated glass case full of tempting pies, cakes, baked apples (talk about old-school!), and prepared salads: cole slaw, macaroni and potato salad.  As much as I would have loved to try all three of those, I was already going a little wild.

I chose the macaroni salad, which normally edges out potato salad for me, and I chose wisely.  It was a simple, mayo-based macaroni salad with a slight crunch from celery (or green bell pepper?) and a tangy sweetness.  It reminded me of a macaroni salad you would get at a mid-century lunch counter, maybe in a drugstore or even a department store.  I miss those places too, and they were already 99% phased out by the time I was a kid in the ’80s.

Each table had a squeeze bottle of a relatively thin, horseradish-heavy hot mustard, that I applied to my wonderful beef, lamb, and bleu cheese sandwich after taking a few unadorned bites as a control.  It was an excellent mustard that complemented the rich, salty, juicy sandwich perfectly.  I noticed they sell it in bottles, but as much as I would have loved to bring one home, I do not check bags, and I knew TSA would confiscate it.  Regular readers know my obsession with mustards and other condiments (such as my Cutting the Mustard reviews), but at least I got to try it in the restaurant.

Also, I got the most delightful little glass of lemonade for something like 95 cents.  When I saw the price, I didn’t know how big the glass would be, but it was wee.  I guess this is like portion sizes were like back in the day, before Big Gulps and whatnot.  Really refreshing lemonade, though, especially after all that salty food and waking up at 4 AM for a flight.

I might have looked like a big weirdo, wheeling my roll-aboard bag through Philippe the Original, but I knew it would have to be my first stop in L.A. or I wouldn’t be able to make it back later.  I’m so glad I did, because it was truly awesome.  It lived up to all the hype I had read online, to say nothing of  passing mentions and sightings in L.A.-based TV shows like Bosch.  I love these historic restaurants that have been doing the same thing for decades, sometimes lasting a century or more, because they are that damn good.  Los Angeles is full of them, and I look forward to exploring more on future work trips (and eventually getting around to reviewing everything from this last visit).  If you appreciate a good French dip sandwich, try to make a pilgrimage to the creator some day.  The originator, the O.G. — Philippe the Original.

SoDough Square

I recently visited SoDough Square (https://sodoughsquare.com/), a new pizzeria that opened in 2022, for the first time.  It was so good, I returned a week later, with a friend and co-worker, and it was just as good on that second visit.  The original location for SoDough Square is at 419 Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida, 32806, directly next door and sharing a dining room with one of owner Rob Bair’s other restaurants, Tin & Taco, which I reviewed in early 2019.  There are a few Tin & Taco locations around Orlando, and just this past week, a second SoDough Square location opened at 223 Fairbanks Avenue, Winter Park, Florida, 32789, directly next door to another Tin & Taco.  Go Rob!

SoDough Square is unique in Orlando because it serves Detroit-style pizza, a unique pizza style that I had never seen in Florida before.  These are rectangular pizzas cooked in steel pans, then cut into four or eight slices, depending on whether you order a small or a large.  The slices crisp up from cooking in the pans, and the toppings go all the way out to the edge, which I appreciate.  Lots of upscale, pricey hipster pizzas seem to be half crust these days, and that just seems like wasted real estate to me.  SoDough Square proofs its own dough (fermented for over 24 hours), makes its own tomato sauce, and shreds its own brick cheese blend, which forms a crispy, caramelized crust around the outer edges of the rectangular slices, called “frico.”  This results in a thicc slice of pizza, similar to the Sicilian style I love so much, but not nearly as heavy, bready, and casserole-like as Chicago-style deep dish.  I’m a convert.  I love it!  If you have read this far, you probably will too.

At SoDough Square, you place your order on one of two touchscreen monitors and then wait.  I was bringing home the pizza to share with my wife, but while I was there, I enjoyed a Detroit coney dog ($5.99), topped with a savory, beanless chili sauce, chopped onions, and yellow mustard.  I rarely order hot dogs when I’m out of the house, since I can usually buy a pack of high-quality dogs for the price of one or two from a restaurant, but I will make exceptions anytime I’m near my beloved Arbetter’s in Miami, a Skyline Chili location, and now for the coney dog at SoDough Square.  I love trying anyone’s different versions of chili, and if it comes in chili dog form, all the better.
It’s a magnificent combination of flavors and textures.  The all-beef dog has a great snappiness from its natural casing, the chili was excellent (far more of a crowd-pleaser than Skyline’s polarizing Cincinnati-style chili that I nevertheless like), and you got a pleasant crunch from the onions.  As much as I love mustard (which is a lot), I usually don’t partake in plain yellow mustard, but it brought a necessary acidic brightness to this perfect coney dog that a spicy brown or horseradishy deli mustard would not have been able to duplicate.

That soda pictured above is called Rock & Rye, from Detroit’s beloved Faygo brand, a favorite of Juggalos everywhere.  I had no idea what it would taste like, but it reminded me of Big Red soda from Texas, if you’ve ever tried that one, or Barq’s Red Creme soda (a New Orleans classic that is impossible to find in Orlando).  Vaguely like cream soda, maybe a bit like cotton candy or bubble gum.  More about Faygo later, I promise.

Several of the specialty pizzas sounded good, but the one I’ve been hearing the most raves about and seeing the most tantalizing photos of was the Detroit Rob City ($15.99 for a small or $29.99 for a large), so I ordered a large to bring home.  This absolute unit is topped with Detroit red sauce, SoDough’s brick cheese blend, whipped ricotta cheese, pinched sausage (I admit it, I laughed), Ezzo cup pepperoni, Mike’s hot honey, and fresh basil.  WOW, what a combination.  This was one of the best things I’ve eaten in quite a while.  Everything comes together perfectly on this pizza!
The creaminess of the ricotta works so well cutting the saltiness of the sausage and pepperoni and the surprising spiciness of the hot honey.  (As a semi-related aside, I bought a different hot honey at Aldi, one of their private label brands that is half the price of Mike’s, but it barely has any heat at all.)  And I absolutely love fresh basil on any pizza, which works miracles when combined with the tomato sauce.  This is food of the gods, folks.

I also couldn’t resist trying the T&T ($15.99 for a small or $28.99 for a large) for myself, but I knew my wife wouldn’t be into a pizza topped with shredded lettuce, diced tomatoes, sour cream, and crushed Doritos, so I just ordered a small.  The tribute to Rob Bair’s Tin & Taco restaurants worked for me, and I was stone-cold sober when I enjoyed it back at home!

I also ordered a small garlic cheese bread for us to share ($8.99 for a small or $16.99 for a large), and it was awesome too.  It is made from the same pizza dough, but topped with garlic parmesan sauce, the same brick cheese blend, grated cheese, and fresh basil, with a small dipping cup of the house-made red sauce on the side.  Don’t sleep on this when you go!  My wife liked it even more than the pizza, which I expected, since she doesn’t like tomato-based sauces as much as I do.   

On my second visit with my friend and colleague, who loves pizza as much as I do and hot dogs even more than I do, I ordered us two coney dogs so we could each have one, and we split a small Enforcer pizza ($14.99 for a small or $27.99 for a large), with the same Detroit red sauce and brick cheese blend, pinched sausage, Ezzo cup pepperoni, applewood smoked bacon, pecorino romano cheese, and fresh basil.  Very similar to the Detroit Rob City, but personally, I would rather have the ricotta and hot honey than the bacon.  Here is my last slice of the Enforcer:

I also got three different Faygo sodas they didn’t have on my first visit.  I drank the pineapple orange with my meal, chugged most of the root beer on my way home because it was such a stupidly hot Friday afternoon, and saved the grape for my wife, who said it smelled and tasted like grape bubble gum.  (I didn’t taste it, but I thought it smelled just like a grape-flavored candy from the ’80s called Bonkers.)  My friend tried the Faygo diet cola, by the way.
I’ve had better sodas, and definitely better root beers, but I’m always happy and excited to taste anything new.  All three of the Faygo flavors I tried were pretty artificial-tasting, even by soda standards.  But they are $2.49 each, and I don’t think you can buy them anywhere else locally, so why not try something new and different?

My friend and I then walked to John and John’s – A Pizza Shop, conveniently located mere moments away, although the sweat was pouring off my shaved head by the time we walked in there.  He had never tried John and John’s either, and I figured I would keep blowing his mind by introducing him to another favorite of mine — my choice for the best New York-style pizza in Orlando.  Needless to say, he loved it too, especially the gyro-inspired Mediterranean Blue slice, named for the Greek restaurant that was the previous tenant of John and John’s space.  After that, we parted ways, and I went back to SoDough Square to order another cheesy garlic bread to bring home for my wife, since I try to be a mensch.

I admit that the Michigan Avenue location of SoDough Square is a hike from home, so I was overjoyed when I heard about the second location opening on Fairbanks, near Rollins College in Winter Park.  But I will warn you right now, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos — the new Winter Park location does not have the coney dogs, so just keep that in mind.  That’s a shame, because I can’t envision going there and not getting one of those dogs as a pre-pizza appetizer.  But no matter which location you visit, you are going to be treated to some of the best pizza in Orlando, from Detroit with love.

Have you been to SoDough yet?  Which pizzas are your favorites, and are you in love with the coney dogs as much as I am?  What is the deal with Faygo?  Is it something you had to grow up with?  Hopefully I haven’t incurred the wrath of the Juggalos over that, but it won’t be my first time, and I doubt it will be the last.

Tight Chips: Over Two Years of Potato Chips

In this new installment of Tight Chips, I will review some of the new flavors of potato chips I’ve enjoyed and discovered over the past two years, since my last chip review roundup.  I pride myself on sticking to a budget and keeping my impulse buys and “retail therapy” in check, but one way to sucker me out of a few bucks is to come out with new and weird flavors of potato chips.  I always feel obligated to try them, especially five years into this food blog, under the flimsy excuse of “JOURNALISM!” and even “SCIENCE!”  I used to be like that with sodas too (especially as a non-drinker), but at least I’ve managed to cut back on those.

But it’s almost July 4th, a time when we celebrate our country’s independence (while hopefully realizing we still have a long way to go to improve things here) and get together with family and friends for cookouts and dangerous explosions, often eating lots of chips.  Perhaps this blog entry can serve as a guide for those of you who offer your guests salty, crunchy snacks in between grilling out, drinking heavily, and blowing things up.

I’m going to start with some of my favorite potato chips I’ve ever tried: Zapp’s, out of Gramercy, Louisiana.  Zapp’s specializes in thick, crunchy kettle-fried chips with strong, bold flavors.  You can usually find them at Wawa, 7-Eleven, Publix, and Winn-Dixie stores, at least here in Orlando.

Zapp’s most popular flavors may be Voodoo and Voodoo Heat, which combine salty, savory, sweet, smoky, and tangy flavors, similar to the Canadian-inspired all-dressed chips I have reviewed before.  I give the slight edge to Voodoo Heat, which, as you might guess, is spicier than the delicious but mild Voodoo flavor.

If you like it spicy, but also tangy and sweet, these are awesome.

I must admit preferring the thinner, crispier, Lay’s-style potato chip to Zapp’s crunchier, thicker chips, but Zapp’s has recently started offering its own “Thinz,” which are more like Lay’s, texture-wise, but with the superior Zapp’s flavors.  Winn-Dixie carries larger bags of Zapp’s Thinz.

The Voodoo Thinz taste just as good as the thicker kettle chips:

Zapp’s Bourbon Street Smoky Sweet is kind of like a sweet barbecue flavor minus the tanginess of tomato, and they are also really good.  I’ve only seen the Thinz version sold around here:

But you can’t go wrong:

Zapp’s Evil Eye is more of a tomato-forward flavor that I like, but not as much as the Voodoo:

But they don’t skimp on the seasoning:

Finally, Zapp’s Cajun Dill Gator-Tators are kind of like a mildly spicy dill pickle flavor, but not overly spicy, so don’t worry.  They don’t taste like alligator at all, so don’t worry about that either.

They are one of the better pickle-flavored chips out there, but I will be covering a few more here.

The Voodoo flavor is such a breakthrough hit, other companies have similar versions.  Southeastern Grocers, the parent company of Winn-Dixie, has a surprisingly excellent New Orleans Blend potato chip flavor that is thin and crispy like Lay’s and Zapp’s Thinz, and large bags are ridiculously cheap compared to the name brands.  They also go hard on the seasoning and are excellent quality. 

These are better than they have any right to be:

I only ever see the Dirty brand of potato chips in small bags near the Publix deli (not in the chip aisle).  These are thicker kettle chips.  My wife likes the plain ones from time to time (she doesn’t share my fascination with flavored chips), but one day I tried the Funky Fusion, and it is essentially the Dirty version of Zapp’s Voodoo flavor.  Not nearly as good, though.

Not bad, but they’re no Zapp’s.

All this talk about July 4th cookouts and then the flavors of New Orleans might put someone in the mood for an icy cold, refreshing beer.  If you want one, enjoy it responsibly, but I can caution you against bothering with Clancy’s Beer-flavored potato chips, which are occasionally available at Aldi supermarkets.  Clancy’s is Aldi’s private label for chips and other salty snacks like pork rinds.  Some are great (including Moscow Mule- and Bloody Mary-flavored chips I have reviewed before), but this wasn’t one of the great ones. 

They were mostly bland, vaguely earthy-tasting, and incredibly salty, even by potato chip standards.  I wouldn’t get them again.

I mentioned Clancy’s Bloody Mary and Moscow Mule-flavored chips, which I enjoyed in the past, but the smoked Kentucky bourbon flavor was another miss from this Aldi store brand.

They tasted a little smoky, but not in a good way, like smoked meat or barbecue sauce.  Mostly they just tasted overwhelmingly salty.  I used to enjoy Maker’s Mark bourbon, and there is no substitute for the real thing.

To close out the Aldi chip discussion but tie it back to the cookout theme, Clancy’s also came out with a grilled ribeye steak flavor, which I didn’t love either. 

These had a subtle “burned on the grill” taste with more overwhelming saltiness and also a peppery flavor, but they sure didn’t taste like steak or any other meat.  I think I just don’t care for the “Krinkle Cut” style of ridged chips that much, at least not from the Clancy’s brand.  They always taste much saltier to me.

I bet you didn’t realize how classy potato chip flavors have become.  Barbecue and beer are one thing, but bourbon and ribeye steak are new.  Going beyond that, a Spanish company called Torres makes really upscale chips, including a sparkling wine flavor I recently found at Publix, and another snack company I love, Herr Foods, Inc., out of Nottingham, Pennsylvania, came out with Herr’s charcuterie board-flavored potato chips earlier this year!  Forget cookouts, these are the perfect chips for a really fancy soiree or a date!

It’s uncanny how much the Torres chips actually tasted like sparkling wine — sweet, acidic, fruity, sour.  It isn’t the most satisfying flavor combination overall, but they are definitely worth a try for those who share my fascination with novelty and weirdness.

And as my longtime readers know, I am a pretty serious aficionado of cured meats.  I love that the Lunchables generation has turned charcuterie boards into a thing, but I would rather have my salami, prosciutto, soppressata, capicola, and other delicious deli meats on a sub or hoagie, topped with cheese, vegetables, and condiments, rather than arranged beautifully on a wooden board.  But when you don’t have access to either, you probably want to try these new Herr’s chips.  They definitely have a delicate, salty, porky flavor, but didn’t taste like any specific cured meat that I could pick out.  I should note that I’ve only ever found this Herr’s flavor at Deli Desires, which is one of Orlando’s more underrated spots.These chips did not include any meat in the ingredients, so you’re welcome, vegetarians!

I love Herr’s chips, and being a Pennsylvania-based company, you can always find them at Wawa convenience stores, another Pennsylvania company.  My most recent chip finds are these three “Flavors of Philly” Herr’s chips: tomato pie, roast pork sandwich, and Korean BBQ wings.  

I tried the tomato pie chips first, inspired by Corropolese Italian Bakery & Deli in Philadelphia.  Tomato pie is similar to Sicilian pizza, but the thick, rectangular slices have a sweet tomato sauce and are topped with Romano cheese, but no mozzarella.  The closest I’ve found to it in Orlando is the tomato pie at Tornatore’s, which is more of an upstate New York version, but the scachatta at Alessi Bakery and La Segunda Bakery in Tampa is similar to tomato pie, sweet sauce and all, only they have finely ground beef in their sauces.  These chips tasted like sweet tomato sauce with a dash of pungent cheese, so they nailed it as best they could.

The roast pork sandwich chips are specifically inspired by John’s Roast Pork, a Philadelphia legend I haven’t had a chance to try, although I did have two pretty amazing roast pork sandwiches when I was there last month.  Be on the lookout for that review coming soon.  Anyway, these chips were a lot more subtle, with garlic emerging as the main flavor (aside from salt).  It’s a delicious sandwich when made well, especially when topped with sharp provolone and bitter broccoli rabe, but much more subtle than an Italian hoagie or a cheesesteak.

What I wasn’t expecting was that Herr’s Korean BBQ wings flavor, inspired by Mike’s BBQ restaurant in Philly, would be the best-tasting chips in this new trio.  But I should have guessed, because Korean-style chicken wings kick ass, whether you order them from Hawkers, Domu, Kai Asian Street Fare, or bb.q Chicken.

And Herr’s just keeps on barreling forward with wild flavors.  I admit I didn’t think much of these Loaded Tots chips, but it was an ambitious experiment:

There were some interesting flavors present, but I know I couldn’t pick out bacon and cheese and sour cream and chives!

Earlier this year, Herr’s sold new Sandwi-Chips with four “extra bold” flavors, exclusive to Wawa stores, marketed to be put into sandwiches.  That’s something I’m going to do if I have a sandwich and chips together anyway, so I took it upon myself to sample all the new flavors, inspired by condiments and sandwich toppings.

Everyone knows I love mustard, to the point where I write a recurring mustard review feature called Cutting the Mustard, so I tried the Herr’s mustard Sandwi-Chips first.

Needless to say, these tasted bright and tangy and acidic, just like yellow mustard.  If you’re making a ham, turkey, or roast beef sandwich or a burger, go to town with these.  You won’t regret it.

The sweet onion Sandwi-Chips were almost too strongly oniony, compared to a more mellowed-out sour cream and onion flavor.

They were kind of a lot, as my students used to say.

Next up, I had to try the ketchup Sandwi-Chips, because I have always really liked Herr’s regular ketchup chips.  That is a popular Canadian chip flavor, but not nearly as popular in the U.S.  I’ve never been to Canada, but always wanted to, as I have a fondness for its culture and people, with their reputations for being polite.  In fact, several people have thought I, your friendly neighborhood Saboscrivner, am Canadian, between my voice (your guess is as good as mine) and my unfailing politeness.  I’ll take it as a compliment, eh?

Anyway, to make this a truly scientific experiment (well, not really), I had to compare and contrast Herr’s original ketchup chips, which I’ve had several times, with the new Sandwi-Chips.

They tasted very similar, and I’m honestly not even sure if I mixed up the photos or not.  I’ve always appreciated that the regular ketchup chips are heavily seasoned, and they will definitely turn your fingertips RED.  They are tomatoey, tangy, and sweet, and I like them a lot.  Always have, always will.

I think the only difference I noticed was that the “extra bold” ketchup chips might have had even more seasoning on them, but I couldn’t discern any unique taste.  But I liked both!

Finally (at least for these), Herr’s came out with a spicy pickle flavor of Sandwi-Chips, and they tasted very pickley, as one would expect and hope, but somewhat light on the spice.

They were fine.  They would go particularly well on any sandwich or burger where you would normally add pickles, or even if you actually did add pickles.

As long as we’re talking about pickle-flavored chips, I should note that I used to hate pickles, until I embarked on a mission to learn to appreciate pickles by comparing, contrasting, and reviewing a bunch of different pickles.

The pickles that made me a fan were Grillo’s pickles, which I waxed rhapsodic about in that above review, “A Plethora of Pickles.”  The Utz Quality Foods company, another snack company with Pennsylvania roots (Hanover, this time), actually created Grillo’s pickle chips, which a good friend shared with me after buying a ginormous bag at Costco.

These are maybe the best pickle chips I’ve ever tried, and I was grateful to not have to buy the whole pillowcase-sized bag of them.

I can’t say I’m the biggest fan of Frito-Lay’s extremely popular Flamin’ Hot flavor, regardless of its heartwarming and/or apocryphal origin story.  What exactly does it taste like?  HOT.  It tastes like hot, and there might be a bit of lime, but maybe that’s all in my head.  All the Flamin’ Hot chips (Cheetos, Ruffles, Lay’s, etc.) are fiery, angry red, and sometimes after the fact, other things are fiery, angry red too.

Even though I would have ignored this flavor in the past, when I saw Flamin’ Hot Dill Pickle Lay’s, I had to give them a try. 

They weren’t gross like I expected.  The sourness and the dill helped offset the intense Flamin’ Hot flavor (like nothing else in nature!), and I ended up thinking these would be good pickles to crush up on a burger or in a sandwich — maybe something that already had real pickles on it.  They would be great with some kind of cool, creamy dip, too.

And while we’re still on the condiment-flavored chips, Trader Joe’s offered these Patio chips over the summer of 2021 (and possibly still, although I haven’t looked for them since). 

The bag contained a blend of multiple chip flavors: sea salt and vinegar, delicious dill, homestyle ketchup (for all the people who make their own ketchup in a world where Heinz is easily available, cheap, and superior), and smokin’ sweet BBQ.  I appreciated this ambitious experiment, but I don’t think any of the Trader Joe’s flavors stood out on their own, and crunching on multiple flavors in the same mouthful didn’t work as well as I would have guessed.  If these have since been discontinued, I wouldn’t even be surprised.

As long as we’re talking about pickled things, the Kettle brand makes really tasty pepperoncini-flavored chips, which would be awesome crushed up on an Italian hoagie, a gyro, or a Greek salad, or anywhere else you might enjoy those pale green, mildly spicy pickled peppers.

Keep in mind these are also thicker, crunchier chips.  I don’t buy the Kettle brand very much because they only come in large bags, but I’m glad I took a chance with this particular flavor.  They really did taste like pepperoncini peppers!

So let’s switch gears now and talk about some more spicy chip flavors, after that flawless segue.  Lay’s briefly offered an Adobadas flavor in 2022, featuring chile peppers, tomato, and lime.

They were okay.  I only bought one small bag one time, and that was fine with me.

On my 2022 sojourn to the senses-shattering Buc-ee’s, a colossal convenience store that pretty much sums up the American experience and all of its excesses, I bought these “Hot” flavored chips:

And they delivered.  They were hot, but not overwhelmingly so.  Definitely not “Flamin’ Hot.”  I would have preferred some nuance, though.

These Southeastern Grocers Sweet Hot Barbecue chips came from Winn-Dixie, so you know they were cheap.  But were they good?

Actually, yeah.  I love the sweet, tangy smokiness of barbecue chips, and these packed more heat than most. I still prefer the New Orleans Blend, Southeastern Grocers’ Voodoo knockoff flavor, though.

Have you tried hot honey as a condiment?  Mike’s Hot Honey is the main brand, and it has a lot more heat than other companies’ versions.  It is awesome on pizza, just FYI.  And Utz makes a Mike’s Hot Honey potato chip flavor:

They are sweet and hot, so I guess I like my potato chips like I like my women.

Just in case anyone else cares about such things, Utz owns both Zapp’s and Dirty chips, in addition to its own brand.

Lay’s short-lived chile mango chips were also sweet and hot, but I didn’t care for the flavor combination as much:

This was a one-and-done flavor for me.  I love mangos like crazy.  I will eat mangos like they’re going out of style, and I’m a sucker for anything mango-flavored.  I was excited to find these and disappointed I didn’t love them, but you don’t have to take my word for it!

On a lucky trip to Walgreens (admittedly a while back), I found not one, but two new flavors of Lay’s: Hot Sauce (specifically Frank’s Red Hot, the perfect sauce for classic buffalo wings), and Kettle Cooked Beer Cheese.  I like Walgreens because they almost always get new chip flavors first, and unlike Publix, they sell them in small bags, which make me feel much less guilty about eating chips in the first place.  What do you get, six or seven chips in these wee bags?

I like Frank’s Red Hot sauce in the first place because it balances the cayenne pepper-based heat with the acidic tang of vinegar, and I love anything vinegary.  If you shy away from spicy food and order “mild” or plain wings, you probably won’t like these.  But if you do like typical hot sauce flavors, you will be in for a real treat with these chips, especially if you have some good blue cheese dip or dressing to go with them.

The Beer Cheese Lay’s were a lot more subtly flavored.  I’ve had real beer cheese before, and it is delicious.  A friend in Kentucky assures me it’s a big deal up there, whereas it is a little harder to find around Florida.  But these chips didn’t taste too strongly of anything.  I rarely regret trying new chip flavors, but I wouldn’t bother getting these again.  I haven’t seen them in a long time, so they may already be discontinued.

One more spicy flavor, and then we’re done, if you can believe it!  I’m guessing Game Day Chili Lay’s might have been timed to come out around the NFL playoffs and the Superb Owl.  I didn’t find them until early March (2021 or 2022?), and I was really surprised to find them at all.  These were yet another Walgreens find.  I love chili in all its forms, so I was excited to tear into this bag.

This flavor was also a little disappointing, especially given how much I love chili.  It wasn’t overly tomatoey, and I didn’t pick up on cheese at all.  It wasn’t very spicy either, and nothing about it tasted “meaty.”  I’ve already gone on at great length about how I love tomatoey flavors in my chips, but this one was a letdown.  At least I didn’t spring for a larger bag.

Well, that’s a pretty good rundown of the new potato chip flavors I’ve tried since 2021 — the good, the bad, and the weird.  If you have tried any of these, I want to hear about it.  Which ones have you enjoyed?  Were any disappointing or gross?  What are your favorite chip flavors and brands, especially if I haven’t covered them, and where can I get my hands on some?  I might not be an influencer, but if anyone wants to send me chips to review, I would probably graciously accept them!

So enjoy your Fourth of July, stay safe, have something delicious to eat (ideally accompanied by people you like spending time around), and remember to stay hydrated in this insane summer heat, especially if you’re munching and crunching on salty chips.

Chain Reactions: Culver’s

Culver’s (https://www.culvers.com/) is a fast food chain that was founded in in Sauk City, Wisconsin, in 1984.  I tried it on a short trip to Wisconsin over 20 years ago, to visit the weird, wonderful, and uniquely American roadside attraction The House on the Rock in Spring Green, Wisconsin.  Now we have multiple Culver’s locations across Central Florida, and since I am obsessed with regional restaurants and food trends, I appreciate having more options to choose from, chains or not.

Culver’s is famous for its frozen custard, “ButterBurgers,” and breaded, fried cheese curds.  But even though the ButterBurgers are above average fast food burgers, my wife and I usually return when we’re in the mood for delicious fish, hand-battered and deep-fried.  Culver’s has the best fried fish of any fast food restaurants, and better than a surprising amount of seafood restaurants and Irish and British pubs we’ve been to.

Specifically, they serve North Atlantic cod, which you can get as a sandwich or as a dinner with two or three pieces of fish.  Sometimes my wife and I will split a three-piece North Atlantic cod dinner, which comes with fries, cole slaw, and a roll, but you can select two sides of your choice if you don’t want fries (standard crinkle-cut fries) or cole slaw.  Ring the Alarm!  Culver’s has excellent onion rings, with beer batter coating similar to the battered cod filets.  They are my favorite fast food onion rings.  They are considered a Premium side, so you have to pay a small upcharge for them.  DO IT!

Here’s a close-up of the battered fish from a different visit.  It will make you say “Oh my cod!”

As great as the Atlantic cod is (and it is), Culver’s brings out a different battered, fried fish once a year for a limited time: Canadian Northwoods walleye, which is a very light, buttery fish.  Even though this sandwich is $7.99, which seems expensive for fast food, it is worth every penny.  I added the creamy, crunchy cole slaw on top of the sandwich, too:By the way, the Culver’s website says the tartar sauce includes olives, capers and sweet relish!  I would not have guessed olives or capers, but they list the ingredients right on the peel-off lid of the little dipping cup.

That walleye doesn’t look that different from the cod, but trust me, you could tell the difference in a taste test.  The sandwich comes with a bit of lettuce and tartar sauce underneath the fish, and the bun is buttered and lightly grilled like all Culver’s sandwich buns.  That’s always a nice touch.   

I already said that I think the ButterBurgers are just okay, but Culver’s amazed and astonished when they came out with this limited-time special: the “Curderburger.”  It is exactly what you think — a burger served on the typical bun (buttered and lightly grilled, thank you very much), topped with a “cheese crown.”  Yes, that is a giant breaded and fried cheese curd patty, and it’s the stuff that dreams are made of.  (Because “SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF CHEESE!”)

Here’s a cross-section, with melty, molten cheddar cheese curd leaking out of the fried patty on top of the burger.  You probably shouldn’t eat more than one of these a year, or the Curderburger could become a Murderburger.  Luckily, it is a limited-time menu item. 
I should note that back in the ’90s, my brother and I were enamored with a similar decadent burger from the late, lamented chain restaurant Bennigan’s, the “Wheelhouse burger,” topped with what was essentially a mozzarella cheese stick in patty form instead of stick form.  And I have to give a shout-out to Orlando’s beloved Se7enbites, the Southern restaurant and bakery where Chef Trina Gregory-Propst created the Italian Stallion burger, topped with tomato jam, pesto aioli, and a mozzarella cheese plank.  But I digress!

This is my wife’s favorite Signature side, the pretzel bites, which you have to pay a $1.50 upcharge for if you get them in a combo with a sandwich or a dinner.  But again, like so many things at Culver’s, they are totally worth it.  The outside crust is lightly crackly and crispy and buttery and salty, and the inside is pillowy soft.  They come with a little dipping cup of Wisconsin cheddar cheese sauce for dipping, but they don’t need anything — and I say that as someone who always likes dipping things in other things. 

In fact, I tried a few of the different dipping sauces with onion rings, as you can see.  That’s the Wisconsin cheddar cheese sauce on the left in the unlabeled cup.  The Boom Boom sauce is a little spicy and surprisingly thick and heavy, but the creamy, tangy Culver’s Signature sauce SLAPS.  Those are both recent discoveries from my last trip, and I would definitely get that Signature sauce again.

George’s chili is considered a Signature side too, so you have to pay a $1.50 upcharge for it as well.  I always love chili, and if it’s offered on a menu, I will always try it.  The website boasts that this is “medium-spicy” chili con carne, but keep in mind this is a chain restaurant from Wisconsin, and I found it very mild.  It is made by simmering ground beef (the same stuff the burgers are made of, naturally), diced tomatoes, dark red kidney beans, peppers, onion and celery, and a “secret blend of peppery spices.”  With Culver’s always making a big deal about its Wisconsin roots and all its great cheese, I thought the chili could really use some shredded cheese or the cheddar cheese sauce on top to melt into it. 

I appreciate fast food restaurants that don’t just offer burgers and chicken, but have all kinds of odd, offbeat options.  You may have already noticed Culver’s is cool like that, but they even have a pot roast sandwich made with hand-shredded braised chuck roast.  I have a deep, abiding love of slow-braised and stewed meats, cooked until they are moist and tender and falling apart.  Too many people under-season their pot roast and dry it out, to the point that you can chew it forever and nothing happens, but not so with this sandwich.  It was a tasty, savory alternative to the standard burgers and fried fish, and I would definitely get it again some time.

In addition to the ButterBurgers, the frozen custard is a big draw at Culver’s and a major part of its brand.  It is my wife’s favorite part — even more than the fish.  She usually opts for the chocolate custard with chunks of Butterfinger candy swirled in, but this time she got it with some chocolate syrup, pecans, and a cherry on top. 

I’ve been sitting on this review for the better part of a year, waiting for the triumphant return of Culver’s lemon ice, a summer treat that sadly disappears for the rest of the year.  Summer is my least-favorite season here in hot, humid, sticky, sweltering Florida, but I do love all the sweet, cold, refreshing drinks and treats that come out in the summer.  My favorite is Culver’s lemon ice — in this case, a strawberry-mango lemon ice cooler, which is real slow-frozen lemonade swirled with real fruit.  It is definitely a dessert, not as wholesome and nutritious as a smoothie (although smoothies are also high in calories and carbs), but I love ’em.  Culver’s actually has lemon ice smoothies as well, where they mix the lemon ice and fruit with their vanilla custard, but I like them more tangy and acidic and less creamy.  I drank a fair bit on the drive home before I could take this photo, but they really do fill the cup all the way up.  I’m trying to avoid sweets and desserts and sugary sodas, but I can see enjoying a few more lemon ice coolers before the summer of 2023 ends.

The thing on the right is a chocolate custard with M&Ms mixed in — my wife’s choice, of course.

So that’s Culver’s.  They take longer to prepare your meal than most other fast food establishments, and cost considerably more, but you pay for quality, including fresh food cooked to order every time.  I must admit I always look askance at the receipt on every trip to Culver’s and think “REALLY?”  But the two kinds of fish (the cod and limited-time walleye), the onion rings, the pretzel bites, and the lemon ices never disappoint, and my wife loves that chocolate custard too.  Anyone who has ever read my food blog knows that I don’t consider myself too cool or too sophisticated to enjoy fast food.  I am neither an elitist nor a health nut.  Culver’s is definitely well above average for fast food, so give it a try if you haven’t already.  And if you have, what are YOUR Culver’s favorites?

CLOSED: Chicago Dog & Co

EDITOR’S NOTE: Chicago Dog & Co. permanently closed on October 8, 2023.

***

As much as I love food and restaurants and cooking, I’ve never worked a day in the food service or hospitality industries.  For me, eating, cooking, and even grocery shopping are necessities I’ve turned into hobbies.  We have to eat to survive, so I do what I can to make the experiences enjoyable, but I’ve never had to work at it.  As a result, I have nothing but admiration and awe for everyone who works in restaurants.  It’s a hard, hot, and dangerous job, and too many people take it for granted when we get delicious food we didn’t have to make ourselves.  Even I have been guilty of this in the past, but I have so much appreciation, and I always try to show it, including by writing this food blog.  I hope it comes across in my words, as I try to boost the signal for local restaurants here.

This past week my wife and I binge-watched a new show called The Bear, which consists of eight half-hour episodes streaming on Hulu.  The Bear is about Carmy, a world-renowned chef who returns to his family’s divey restaurant in Chicago after his brother commits suicide and leaves Carmy the restaurant in his will.  Most of the show takes place inside the restaurant’s cramped, chaotic kitchen, and the writing, acting, directing, and editing work in perfect tandem to create a feeling of unhinged uneasiness — a “sense of urgency,” as Carmy calls it.  All the restaurant people I know who have been watching it say they get the details almost too perfect, to the point where it is too real, too uncomfortable to enjoy.  But it’s really good, so you should watch it if you’re looking for a new show you can knock out in a weekend.

Anyway, the main specialty of Carmy’s family restaurant is a real Chicago classic: Italian beef sandwiches.  We watch them preparing hundreds of “beefs,” and before the end of the intense first episode, I was craving one here in Orlando.  The Chicago/Italian beef isn’t as ubiquitous a sandwich as the Philly cheesesteak, but there are a few places around town to find them.  My favorite local food writer, a woman who serves as a constant inspiration to me, who I am honored to think of as a friend (albeit one I have yet to meet in real life), Amy Drew Thompson of the Orlando Sentinel, wrote a guide to Italian beef sandwiches in Orlando earlier this year, which pointed me to the subject of my latest restaurant review.

Chicago Dog & Co (https://www.chicagodogandco.com/) is located in Altamonte Springs, Florida, west of I-4, close to where Altamonte starts blending into Apopka.  Sandra (a practicing attorney!) and Monica, two Chicago-born sisters raised in Central Florida, opened the restaurant just over a year ago, in April 2021, and they have been going strong ever since.  Open every day except Monday, Chicago Dog & Co has covered outdoor seating, but no indoor seating.  You walk up to order at a window, and they call your name when your order is ready.  They specialize in Vienna Beef hot dogs on steamed poppy seed buns, and you can get them with a number of toppings, including the Chicago way, “dragging it through the garden,” with yellow mustard, diced onion, sliced tomato, neon green relish, a pickle spear, “sport” peppers, and celery salt.

But as much as I enjoy a good hot dog, I’m more of a devotee of a garlicky New York-style dog, as typified by Sabrett, Nathan’s, and Boar’s Head, topped with spicy mustard and sauerkraut.  I have no doubt the Vienna Beef hot dogs are bringing back happy Chicago memories for thousands of Central Floridians, but I went there for a different reason: to get my post-Bear Italian beef fix.  And did I ever!

This was the Italian beef ($8) I brought home for myself, the tender sliced beef topped with sweet peppers and spicy giardiniera vegetables, a blend of carrots, onions, and green peppers.  (The more traditional Chicago version has carrots, celery, and cauliflower!)  It is served on a soft Gonnella roll, either dry (no au jus, or au jus served on the side), wet (au jus poured over the sandwich), or dipped (the entire sandwich, roll and all, dipped in au jus to create a real fork-and-knife experience).  Since I was bringing it home, I opened for au jus on the side.  I thought it was really good, and better once I poured the jus over the meat and bread.  The actual beef in an Italian beef isn’t super-moist or fatty, so the jus helps lubricate the sandwich, in the best possible way.  It was definitely a WAS (wet-ass sandwich) by the time I was through, and it definitely fulfilled my Italian beef craving.

Knowing my wife the way I do, she isn’t into toppings, condiments, sauces, or even sandwiches all that much, so I ordered her a plain beef ($8) with jus on the side, and also giardiniera on the side (since I knew I would get to eat hers).  Here’s the unadorned, unadulterated beef:

Since they serve chili dogs and I love chili, I asked if I could try a little side order of chili, and they were kind enough to fill a small cup for me.  Here it is with the side of spicy giardiniera. 

In addition to the dogs and beefs, Chicago Dog & Co also serves burgers.  I haven’t had a tasty burger in quite a while, so I couldn’t resist this double smash ($6) — a very reasonable price for two beef patties smashed thin with sautéed onions and melty American cheese on a soft bun.  The bun got steamed in the aluminum foil wrap on my 20-minute drive home, but I imagine it would be a lot less wrinkly if you enjoy yours at the restaurant.The burger had a great “fresh off the grill” taste, and I’m a sucker for American cheese and sautéed or grilled onions on my burger.  I added a bit of the chili once I ate about half of it at home, but it didn’t need any other adornments to improve it.

Finally, I brought home an Iltaco Pizza Puff ($4) for my wife to try.  These things are awesome — another Chicago snack that is like the best Hot Pocket you’ve ever had, or more like a small, flat, pizza-filled chimichanga or empanada.  

The crispy, bubbly, fried shell is like a flour tortilla — hence the chimichanga comparison — and it is stuffed with tomato sauce, melty mozzarella cheese, and sausage or pepperoni.  I love these things.  My wife wasn’t interested in trying it, so I ate both halves myself.

So if you also watched The Bear and have been asking “Where’s the beef?” ever since, Chicago Dog & Co is the place for you.  Since I started this blog in 2018, I’ve tried (and reviewed) two other Italian beef sandwiches in and around Orlando: Rosati’s Pizza (a Chicago chain) in Winter Park, and Christo’s, the diner in Sanford.  There are one or two other options I’m aware of, thanks in part to Amy Drew Thompson and the good people of The Orlando Foodie Forum presented by Tasty Chomps!, but as you might have realized by now, they aren’t nearly as easy to find around here as other sandwiches.  I’m happy I had time on a lazy Sunday to finally check out a new(ish) local restaurant owned by two women who deserve our community’s support.  Hopefully their kitchen is a lot more copacetic than the one in the show!  But if you go for a beef or even a Chicago hot dog, don’t forget that Pizza Puff too — trust me on that.  That thing is magical.

Thirsty Gator

Thirsty Gator (http://thirstygator.net/) is a great dive bar and casual restaurant located on a lonely stretch of Goldenrod Road between University Drive and East Colonial Drive.  The address plants it firmly in Winter Park, but the surrounding area doesn’t look or feel like Winter Park.  To be completely honest, entering the bar feels like you’ve entered a portal that transports you to the Southern college town of Gainesville, Florida, two hours north of Orlando.  It doesn’t even matter when you knew Gainesville best — it will feel like Gainesville from “back in the day,” whenever that day was for you.

As if the name wasn’t a dead giveaway, Thirsty Gator is a Florida Gators-themed bar, so I’m sure it is a hot destination when Gator games are on or when University of Florida alumni in Orlando are feeling particularly nostalgic.  I have a few degrees from UF, but as I get older, I rarely feel that nostalgia for “bright college days, oh carefree days that fly” anymore.  I had some of the best and worst times of my life during my seven years as a UF student, but I met a lot of amazing friends there, and I’m so honored to know them and so proud of what they have all become.  Also, I fully realize I am able to lead the life I live now — educated, gainfully employed, happily married — because of what I accomplished back then, so in the end, it all worked out.  I never thought I’d feel more content and fulfilled in my 40s than I did in my late teens and 20s, but here I am.  Aw heck, when I was in my 20s, there were times I honestly didn’t think I would even make it to my 40s, but here I am, doing better than pretty much anyone expected, myself included.  Stalwart Saboscrivnerinos, it really does get better.  I’m living proof of that.

But enough about an old man’s reflections of times past.  On to the food!

I brought home an order of ten mild wings ($15):

And an order of ten garlic wings ($15):
These are some of my favorite wings in Orlando.  I’ve written before about how I dislike typical sports bar wings that are tiny, greasy, crunchy, and dry.  These are the exact opposite — decent-sized wings that are tender, moist, juicy, incredibly well-seasoned, and barely greasy at all because they are baked, not fried.  I probably would have preferred them hot, but then my wife couldn’t enjoy them at all, and we always endeavor to share.  Thirsty Gator may be known for its seafood, but don’t sleep on these wings!  Seriously, they have to be near the top of the Top Five in Orlando.

My wife and I can never refuse the allure of a soft pretzel.  This one was $3.25, and it was pretty large, soft, and buttery.  It wasn’t as flaky and perfect as an Auntie Anne’s soft pretzel (the only thing I like going to malls for anymore), but still hit the spot.  That is yellow mustard in the little plastic cup, not butter! 

I can never resist garlic rolls or garlic bread either, and this garlic bread was $3.25.  You get four pieces that are similar to the frozen loaves of Cole’s garlic bread I enjoy a little bit too much.  They had softened by the time I got everything home, but they had plenty of garlic, butter, and herbs on them.  You just can’t go wrong with garlic bread.

And the main reason I got takeout from Thirsty Gator, rock shrimp (market price; currently $21.95 per pound).  This delectable denizen of the deep rarely appears on any restaurant menus, and this is the one restaurant I know of in Orlando that specializes in the little crustaceans.  These are peel-and-eat rock shrimp, and their shells are slightly harder to pierce, penetrate, and peel than the typical shrimp we all know and love.  So they’re more work, but totally worth it.

This is what one of the rock shrimp looks like peeled.  The meat is succulent and sweet, and my wife and I agree they taste more like lobster than shrimp.   
Funny enough, one of our featured songs at our wedding was “Rock Lobster” by the B-52s.  If you’ve ever had spiny lobster, AKA langoustine or langostino, those guys are the real-life rock lobsters, and I honestly think they taste more like regular shrimp than lobster.

These are a real treat, and since each one is a bit of a hassle to peel, you never take these for granted.  The peeling process may not be appealing, but you never eat rock shrimp without appreciating each sweet, tender morsel.  As a result, we took our time making our way through the pound we got.  They are served warm, but we also enjoyed them chilled out of the fridge the next day.

Aside from the rock shrimp and the wings, the other big food specialty at Thirsty Gator is the fresh raw oysters, but those aren’t great takeout food.  I’ve made no secret of my great love of oysters, so I’ll just have to go back another time to enjoy them in person.  Whether you love the Gators, hate them, or just fear them as so many do, there is so much to love at Thirsty Gator.

 

 

 

AdventHealth: 30 Days of Hospital Dining

Wait a minute… is The Saboscrivner really going to review the food at AdventHealth, Orlando’s largest chain of hospitals?  Yes, but I have a good reason.  My wife had a major surgery in May that necessitated spending nine days in AdventHealth Orlando, followed by another three weeks in AdventHealth Winter Park.  It was heavy and scary stuff, and I didn’t want her to go it alone.  I am so grateful that my employer allowed me to take a leave of absence from work, and that both hospitals allowed me to move in with her and spend every post-surgical moment at her side.  (Both of us are fully vaccinated.)  So we both lived in hospitals for 30 days — from May 11th through June 10th — and that meant eating a lot of hospital meals.  This massive review may prove useful if any of my readers, or any of their family or friends, are ever hospitalized in an AdventHealth facility, or even if you end up visiting anyone there.  But I hope you all stay healthy and safe and never have to come here, unless it’s for a positive reason, like having a baby or getting a cool prosthetic or something.

AdventHealth is a faith-based nonprofit that claims to have “nearly 50 hospital campuses and hundreds of care sites in diverse markets throughout nine states” (see https://www.adventhealth.com/who-we-are).  Despite the health care company’s strong Christian values and mission, everyone is welcome and included — staff, patients, and visitors alike.  I can say with confidence that the doctors, nurses, and therapists took exceptional care of my wife, when she needed it the most.

Now onto the food!  Both hospitals have cafeterias for the staff and visitors, and there is some surprisingly good food to be had there.  It tends to be more flavorful than the food served to the patients in their rooms, which tends to be blander, with less salt and fewer herbs, spices, and strong flavors.  The much larger AdventHealth Orlando has a much larger cafeteria, the Welch Cafe, which puts out the most options at lunchtime, the busiest time, and far fewer things to choose from in the evening.  There is an Italian station that has pizza, pasta, and rotating specials, a sandwich station where you can get a custom-made sandwich, a salad bar, a fresh sushi station, lots of pre-packaged “grab and go” options, sweets, and a lot more.  With some options, there is a price per pound and you pay whatever your meal weighs, and others have fixed prices.

I should also note that AdventHealth, founded by Seventh Day Adventists, used to only serve vegetarian food, and only in recent years started serving meat.  They do not serve any pork at all, though — not in the cafeterias or the in-room meals for patients, and not even at the Wendy’s across the street from AdventHealth Orlando.  So you’ll see a lot of beef and/or turkey substitutions for pork products, and at least one of them ended up being really good.

My wife was in AdventHealth Orlando for a total of nine days, so I ate in the Welch Cafe a few times.  Here are some of the highlights:

BWAAAAAAH!  BWAH BWAH BWAAAAAAH!
RING THE ALARM!  I had surprisingly great onion rings with my very first meal at the Welch Cafe, sleep-deprived and full of fear after delivering my wife to the hospital at 5 AM to be prepped for surgery.  After waiting for hours outside the surgical wing, I figured I might as well keep up my strength and eat something that tasted good.  These onion rings ($1.75, priced out at $7.29 per pound from the burger bar) were better than many others I’ve had around Orlando, believe it or not.   

For me, pasta is comfort food, so I indulged three times with different types of penne pasta in red sauces.  This first one, which I ate on Day One while my wife was under the knife, was kind of like penne in an alfredo sauce, but I also asked for a warm blanket of marinara over the top.  I seem to recall some pieces of tender chicken in there too.  I was worried sick about her and felt guilty eating, but I knew I would have passed out or succumbed to a stress migraine if I didn’t have something substantial.   

On two subsequent Welch Cafe visits, I got different versions of baked penne with ground beef ($4.29), both of which hit the spot.  You can’t go wrong with hearty baked pasta dishes like this:

This was a pre-made meatball sub (a very reasonable $4.99) that was much better than I expected. 

At least during the busiest hours in the middle of the day, you can get a custom sandwich made at the deli counter.  The one time I indulged, I opted for pastrami on a sub roll (a little over $7), with creamy horseradish sauce, lettuce, tomato, onions, banana peppers, and jalapeño peppers, and the nice lady even pressed it on the grill (note the grill marks in the sub roll).  It wasn’t any kind of ideal pastrami sandwich like Katz’s Deli in NYC or Orlando’s own Pastrami Project, but it was savory and spicy and messy in the best possible way.  That blend of flavors and textures provided a much-needed brief reprieve from the stress of that particular day at the hospital.  And as far as I’m concerned, that is the main goal of pretty much any sandwich.     

Yes, there is sushi available in the Welch Cafe, and yes, I had to try it.  There was a sushi chef making it fresh every day, at least around lunchtime, and then they would remain in the “grab and go” cooler for the dinner crowd.

It was pretty much on par with grocery store sushi, and I figured if it gave me any problems, I was already in a hospital.  This was the sushi sampler platter I chose.  It looked pretty, and eating it felt luxurious, like I didn’t even deserve to be enjoying something this nice while my wife was resting and healing several floors above me.

The sampler ($10.89) included some tuna and salmon nigiri, some California rolls wrapped in tuna and salmon, and a volcano roll topped with crispy rice, spicy mayo, and eel sauce.  Like I said, it was fresh, and it was luxurious.  I haven’t had any sushi since then, but just looking at this picture, I’d get something similar again without trepidation.

The Welch Cafeteria even had desserts!  I had to try the tres leches ($2.49), and it was perfectly fine, if not up to the standard of Miami’s legendary Cuban restaurant Versailles:

At one point, I brought this cookies and cream cheesecake (probably also around $2.49) back up to our room to share.  It was also fine, but I think my wife would have enjoyed it more under almost any other circumstances:

After nine days there immediately after her surgery, she was transferred to the inpatient rehabilitation unit in AdventHealth Winter Park for almost three weeks of intensive physical and occupational therapy.  It is a much smaller hospital, with a commensurately smaller cafeteria in the basement.  The onion rings definitely aren’t as good there — kind of soggy — but on this day, the special was a surprisingly spicy and tender beef dish that was probably braised, or maybe even cooked in a slow cooker or a pressure cooker.  I liked it quite a bit.  My wife didn’t want anything to do with it.

I always crave hot dogs around summer holidays, and usually buy a pack around those times of year to cook at home.  We spent Memorial Day in the hospital, so I grabbed this simple all-beef hot dog ($2.79) from the basement cafeteria that day.  It tasted a lot like a Costco hot dog, but not as cheap, as big, or quite as good.  With packets of yellow mustard and relish, it transported me away for a few brief bites to an imagined backyard cookout with friends, before I found myself back at my wife’s hospital bedside.

On one of the last days before she was discharged, the cafeteria offered a gyro as a daily special ($4.79).  I have a hard time turning down gyros anywhere, so I had to try it.  The processed, seasoned, sliced gyro meat (usually a blend of beef and lamb) was topped with shredded lettuce and sliced tomatoes, served with a tiny cup of creamy, tart tzatziki sauce, and served on a warm flatbread-style pita, it was comfort food.  Nowhere near as good as Orlando’s best gyro at Mediterranean Deli, but still better than many of the other meals I had eaten over this past month.  These onion rings ($2.69) were slightly better than that first bunch, too.

But the highlight of this cafeteria was the customizable 6″ personal pizzas for $3.99, made to order with the ingredients of your choice, and then baked in a tiny, powerful oven and presented to you two or three minutes later.  These were better than they had any right to be from a basement hospital cafeteria!  (Technically, they were underground pizzas, but a fella named Brad has built his brand around that moniker.)

I went all out with beef sausage, turkey ham, turkey pepperoni, red onion, jalapeño peppers on my pizza.  When it came out of the oven, the gentleman brushed the crust with garlic butter, and upon my request, drizzled it with balsamic glaze.  It was a damn fine pizza, I have to admit.  

I brought a couple of those basement (not underground!) pizzas back for my wife, who preferred them to most of the daily trays from Nutritional Services.  Longtime Saboscrivner scholars may remember she isn’t into tomatoey sauces, so I would order her pizzas to be brushed with a garlic butter base, and then I’d request beef sausage and mushrooms on them for her.  

So that’s what hospital staff and visitors can eat, but what about patients in their rooms?  Well, Nutritional Services delivers three meals a day to patients, and they offer a surprising amount of choices.   I tried to figure out a pattern for weeks, and then in our final week, they brought us the actual menu, which I have photographed here.  (Right-click and open them in new tabs for larger images.)

If someone from Nutritional Services manages to catch a patient in her room (between physical and occupational therapy appointments, in my wife’s case), they will take her order for all three meals for the next day, entering her choices on a tablet.  If not, the patient will just get whatever the daily specials are.  Since my wife really has to be in the mood for specific foods even when she isn’t distracted by chronic pain, post-surgical pain, and new pain from grueling therapy, I ended up helping her eat a lot of meals she wasn’t in the mood for and didn’t want anything to do with.  Also, I obsessively saved condiment and seasoning packets in our room, much like I imagine prisoners doing to make prison food more tolerable.

Do yourself a favor — if you are admitted as a patient at AdventHealth, ask Nutritional Services for a printed menu, so you can see what all the options are at all times, since they don’t always tell you every single thing you can choose from.  That way, you can also be more prepared when they come to your room to take your order.

These beef sausages, one of the Nutritional Services option for patients’ in-room breakfasts, are the same ones you can get sliced on your cafeteria pizzas.  They might not look very appetizing, but I really liked these, and even my wife embraced the greatness of the beef sausage by the end of her stay.  They were very savory, with a different texture than standard pork breakfast sausage, not as greasy, and not nearly as heavy with sage either.  I would order these in my beloved Waffle House or at another breakfast joint if they were available, or even buy them at the store to make at home.

Sliced brisket with chimichurri sauce, always served with a soft corn souffle (I amused myself by calling it “corn pone,” a term that cracks me up for no real reason) and green beans.  I make much better green beans, but I actually liked this quite a bit, and even my wife did too.

Chicken tenders.  A little bland and way too small to satisfy, but perfectly adequate, especially with some Ken’s honey mustard dressing as a dip.

Macaroni and cheese and baked sweet plantains.  My two favorite sides with any lunch or dinner orders.  I would always try to remind her to order them for me, or request to substitute them instead of boring sides like the plain white rice pictured above.  The mac and cheese was similar to what you would get at a lot of barbecue joints and Southern “meat and three”-style diners or cafeterias.  Of course I’ve had better, because this is a hospital, but I’ve had much worse.  These came with an eggy “spinach patty” that my wife kinda sorta liked, but it didn’t do much for me.

A cheeseburger that had that Burger King flame-broiled taste.  It was a little dry and not terribly juicy, but I appreciated having the general flavors and textures of a cheeseburger for the first time in a month.

My wife also ordered several vegetarian Beyond burgers as alternatives to the daily specials, which meant I ended up finishing several Beyond burgers throughout our stay.  We both used to like those, but I think we burned ourselves out on them for all time.

Lasagna rollatini, with ricotta cheese inside.  Like I said, my wife famously doesn’t like tomatoey sauces, but we quickly learned these are too dry and pretty bland with sauce served on the side, or not at all.  At least I thought they were definitely better with the sauce on them.  With just a few days left in her stay, we learned from the brochure that she could have been requesting the lasagna roll-ups with pesto sauce all along, but we never got to try that.

Chipotle chicken breast, served with yellow rice and “fajita vegetables.”  The chicken was always dry, but it had a little bit of heat, and I would eat it because she never wanted anything to do with it.

Mojo cod, served with white rice, black beans, a whole wheat roll, and more of those plantains.  Not her thing at all.  Not really mine either (but for the plantains), but I always ate it until I convinced her to request other stuff on mojo cod days.

In those final days, once we had the Nutritional Services menu and knew there were other options to choose from, my wife ordered me sandwiches with soups, while she drank Ensures and ate snacks I brought to the room from Trader Joe’s.  She knows how much I love sandwiches.

A cold roast beef sandwich on marble rye with three-bean chili.  I liked both, especially adding a bit of mustard to the sandwich.  The chili reminded me of a vegetarian version of Wendy’s chili, so not the worst thing in the world.  It also provided amusement for both of us later.

A cold turkey and havarti sandwich on marble rye, improved by yellow mustard and mayo, with chicken noodle soup (never my favorite soup):

I didn’t remember to photograph all the meals, but these were a few that (unfortunately) showed up more than once:

Sliced turkey with cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, and steamed carrots.  She couldn’t even deal with the smell of this one, but I thought it was okay.  I do stand by the controversial take that the traditional Thanksgiving dinner is bland and boring AF.

Bruschetta chicken breast (dry), covered with diced tomatoes, and served with unsauced penne pasta, underdone brussels sprouts, and splashed with balsamic vinegar.  This could have been a much better dish than it was.  I make pretty good brussels sprouts at home by oven-roasting them, and the few times I had this meal, it inspired me to improve my brussels sprouts game even more.

Spaghetti and meat sauce with broccoli.  I ate it every time because she wouldn’t, and I can’t abide by wasting food.  I love spaghetti and meat sauce.  I couldn’t bring myself to love this spaghetti and meat sauce.

Pot roast.  Just like a lot of people’s pot roast, you can chew it forever and nothing happens.  It made me want to experiment with pot roast when we got home, to try marinating and braising and using ingredients like bold Italian vinaigrettes and jars of spicy pickled giardinera vegetables.

Nutritional Services also offered desserts and snacks.  None of the baked goods were great, but I rekindled my lifelong love of orange sherbet, and now I feel the need to buy some to keep in the freezer at all times.  (No, Megan Draper, it does not smell or taste like perfume!)  And I taught my wife the joy of using graham crackers to scoop up vanilla pudding.

So that’s pretty much it.  I also brought in takeout for us a few times, but for 30 days, we lived in these two AdventHealth hospitals and mostly ate hospital food.  Some things were surprisingly good, or at least better than you would expect.  Others were much, much worse.  I’m glad that she was discharged just over a week ago, and now I’m able to go grocery shopping again, to cook for us again, and to take my wife out to eat wherever we want again.  I sincerely hope you stalwart Saboscrivnerinos never have to spend this much time in the hospital, so you never have to try most of these meals for yourselves, but I also hoped this would be an interesting look at some of Orlando and Winter Park’s most “exclusive” dining.

Chain Reactions: Skyline Chili (Fort Lauderdale)

Skyline Chili (https://www.skylinechili.com/) is a chain restaurant started by Greek immigrant Nicholas Lambrinides in Cincinnati, Ohio, in 1949.  Cincinnati chili is very different from any other kind of chili you’ve tried before.  There are no beans in it, it’s not spicy, and it’s a relatively thin meat sauce with finely ground beef — not thick or chunky.  In addition to ground beef, it contains tomato paste, tomato sauce, onions, garlic, cider vinegar, and cumin, which sounds normal enough so far.  But HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS, because Cincinnati chili ain’t Cincinnati chili without cinnamon, cloves, allspice, Worcestershire sauce, and maybe a bit of unsweetened baker’s chocolate, if you wanna get nuts.  YOU WANNA GET NUTS?  COME ON!  LET’S GET NUTS!

At Skyline and its Midwestern rivals like Gold Star Chili, you can order chili by the bowl, topping a hot dog (Skyline calls them Coneys), or served in a “3-Way” (spaghetti, chili, and bright orange, finely shredded cheddar cheese), a “4-Way” (a 3-Way topped with onions or beans), or a “5-Way” (a 3-Way topped with onions and beans).  I find the names hilariously ironic, because most people wouldn’t fare very well in a 3-way after eating a 3-Way, at least not for long.  And don’t even bother trying any kind of way after a 5-Way!

Good thing I never bothered to monetize this blog, because I’ll probably lose multiple subscribers after this review, and we all know I don’t have that many to begin with.

Anyway, there are a few Skyline locations in Florida, but none here in Orlando.  I’ve eaten at the one in Naples and two in South Florida (Sunrise and the one I’m reviewing here, in Fort Lauderdale), and there are others in Clearwater, Bradenton, and Fort Myers.  All the others are in Ohio, Kentucky, and Indiana.  Come on, Skyline!  Orlando gets tourists from all around the world, including the Midwest.  Send your 3-Ways our way!

I drove down to South Florida at the beginning of March, shortly before COVID-19 became a serious concern, to visit my family and best friend in Miami for the first time in far too long.  I also had the sad experience of attending a friend’s funeral in Fort Lauderdale on my way down.  By the time it ended, I needed to center myself before driving the last hour down to my parents’ house in Kendall, a Miami suburb.  I was running on empty — emotionally drained, hungry, and craving comfort food.  And what did I discover mere minutes from the service?  A rare Skyline Chili sighting.  Of course I had to stop, since I haven’t been to one in many years.  DSC02998

You know what’s interesting?  Cincinnati’s chili restaurants like Skyline and Gold Star are usually referred to as “chili parlors” up there.  These days, not a lot happens in parlors.  You hear about parlor games and parlor tricks, but there’s an old-timey connotation to those.  Of course there are ice cream parlors, but that’s pretty much it for food.  And then there are funeral parlors, so don’t think I missed the significance of going from a funeral straight to a chili parlor.

This location (the Skyline Chili parlor, I should clarify) was set up like a diner, with regular tables, but also a counter with a row of stools facing the open kitchen.  I always like to sit at the counter when it’s an option and I’m alone, so I parked on a stool and ordered a cheese Coney (Skyline’s small, chili and cheese-covered hot dogs) as an appetizer.  It took less than a minute for the Coney to be served in front of me — a tiny hot dog on a soft, steamed bun with a squirt of yellow mustard, topped with the hearty chili, diced raw onions, and a mountain of almost neon orange shredded cheddar.
DSC03001

My kind and thoughtful waitress was thoughtful enough to offer me a disposable plastic bib.  This was a godsend, considering I was still wearing my good black suit, white dress shirt, and skinny black tie from the funeral I had just come from.  I was really worried about how I was going to get out of this restaurant without dripping, splashing, or splattering myself, and the bib greatly improved my chances of avoiding besmirchment.

Anyway, the cheese Coney was glorious.  Everything my mind and mouth needed, even if my body might possibly regret it later.  I could have put away a half-dozen of those, but I had another hour to drive before making it to my parents’ house.  Don’t worry, though — I wasn’t done yet.

Yes, there was a hot dog under all that:DSC03002

I couldn’t leave Fort Lauderdale without enjoying a nice 3-Way, and that was when I saw a sign advertising an “extreme” habanero and cheddar cheese blend as an alternative to the classic cheddar, advising curious diners to “turn up the heat.”  So I got that, because if you’re going to have a 3-Way, you might as well make it as hot and extreme as possible.  Again, moments later, it was in front of me, steaming, melting, fragrant spicy messy tempting.DSC02999

This makes quite a mess, as you might expect from a 3-Way, but there were so many flavors and textures to enjoy, and the slower you go, the more sticky and melty everything gets.  Thank goodness for that bib!  But it totally hit the spot — my first Skyline fix in almost a decade, and on an afternoon where I really needed some uplift.DSC03000

I should note that my entire bill for the cheese Coney, the 3-Way, and a fountain soda was only $12.70, which seems like a bargain at twice the price.

I should note that the Internet abounds with Cincinnati chili recipes.  I’ve even tried some of them, and they’re all decent, if not identical to Skyline’s secret recipe.  You can’t go wrong with those basic ingredients.  Even if the idea of putting a little cinnamon and unsweetened chocolate in your chili sounds weird and wrong, step out of your culinary comfort zone, because you might discover you like it weird and wrong, and that weird and wrong is really so, so right.

You can also find Skyline Chili at some Publix supermarkets in the frozen food case, and I’ve even seen it in cans at Walmart, near the other canned chili like Hormel and Wolf Brand.  It’s an acquired taste, and one I’m sure not all my readers will love, but I believe in trying everything once, and often twice… just to be sure.  If you find the frozen or canned Skyline, you can even assemble a 3-Way in the comfort and safety of your own home and try it once for yourselves.  Just keep The Saboscrivner in your thoughts while you experiment!

In fact, I’ve been cooking at home so much during this quarantine, writing this review inspired me to make my own Cincinnati-style chili with one of the many Skyline “copycat” recipes that are out there.  I used a pound of ground chuck AND a pound of ground turkey, canned tomato sauce but no paste, added cinnamon and unsweetened chocolate I ground with my box grater, and even ground my own cloves and allspice berries in a small coffee grinder I use exclusively for spices.  I let the chili sit in the fridge for almost two days before trying it, and that allowed me to skim a lot of the orange congealed fat off the top.  Then I served it over good quality Flora brand spaghetti with a blend of extra-sharp cheddar and habanero cheddar that I shredded myself, and it was fantastic.  It was thicker than Skyline’s, which I appreciated, and also spicier due to adding a little more cayenne pepper than the recipe I found called for, plus the habanero cheddar to turn up the heat and make it extreme.  My cheese (Cabot brand) didn’t melt as quickly or as well as Skyline’s cheese, but my spaghetti was more al dente, and the whole concoction tasted great.  Since I used two pounds of meat, I’ll be enjoying 3-Ways at home for the next several days.
cincinnatichili

 

Washington D.C. Part 1: Ben’s Chili Bowl (RING THE ALARM!)

I am very lucky to be able to travel to professional conferences in different cities once in a while.  My profession has two major annual conferences: a huge national one in July and a smaller Southeastern conference in the spring.  In a really good year, I get to attend both.  Some years, my employer doesn’t have the budget to send me to either.  But each and every conference I attend is a gift.  I love them, because I get to visit and explore new cities, attend programs to help me improve at my job, learn from the best people in our field, catch up with my frolleagues (colleagues who have become friends), and eat at new restaurants along the way.

Our latest conference was in Washington D.C., and people are always shocked when I told them I’ve never been to our nation’s capital before.  Well, better late than never!  Even though this was a particularly busy conference, I was able to arrive a day early to play tourist.

That first day in D.C. was long and exhausting, but I credit a big breakfast at Reagan International Airport for giving me the strength to make it through.  I arrived so early, I figured I should kill a little time before even taking the Metro to check into my hotel.  And instead of the usual airport chains, I found a location of the Washington D.C. institution Ben’s Chili Bowl (https://www.benschilibowl.com/), a favorite of locals, tourists, celebrities, and even President Obama. DSC02332

Of course, most people opt for the historic location on U Street, founded by Ben and Virginia Ali in 1958.  While that would have been a lot more atmospheric, I couldn’t beat the convenience of passing right by it on my way out of the airport. And I had wanted to try Ben’s anyway, so it worked out perfectly.DSC02334

So this was my healthy, balanced breakfast, around 9 AM after getting three hours of sleep the night before:

A spicy chili half-smoke sausage, grilled and served on a warm steamed bun with mustard, onions and Ben’s spicy homemade chili sauce.  The tomato-based chili con carne was very thin, with finely-ground beef — a pretty-standard hot dog chili, but that’s the best kind to put on a dog. DSC02335

The sausage itself had a nice bit of heat, but best of all was the snappiness it had, due to what was probably a natural casing.  This is definitely the kind of thing to eat with a knife and fork, but of course I didn’t.  Here’s a cross-section:
dsc02337.jpg

My long-time readers know I order onion rings whenever I can, to see if they match my very high standards.  It’s a little recurring feature I like to call

[AIR HORN!]
RING THE ALARM!
[/AIR HORN!]

For maybe the first time ever, I was a little disappointed that Ben’s served such a large portion of onion rings.  I never eat breakfast, I was still tired, and I was steeling myself for a really busy, physical day, so I knew I couldn’t eat them all, and I would make myself sick trying.  Luckily, they weren’t my absolute favorite kind of onion ring — instead of the golden beer battered rings I always seek, these had a crispy bread crumb coating that peeled off pretty easily.  Not awful by any means, but not my favorite onion rings ever.  I didn’t feel too guilty leaving some of them behind, since I knew they wouldn’t be worth dragging back to my hotel room to eat cold later.

And since this meal came with a huge, early morning blast of fat, salt, spice, and grease, I ordered a pineapple milkshake too, because I love pineapple anything, and I figured it would be cool and soothing after the spicy sausage, chili, and rings.  It was very thick and refreshing, but I wish it had been more pineappley.  It might have saved me from getting some acid reflux later on, so no regrets from me.dsc02336.jpg

After that, I never made it to the original Ben’s Chili Bowl location for that historic D.C. dining experience, but I was content.  I had always heard great things about Ben’s, and I’m glad I got to try the food for myself, even if it was in an airport location.  This wasn’t bad at all, but the meals I ate in Washington D.C. only got better from here.