Bar/Pub – The Saboscrivner

Barkhaven

“D’ya like dags?”
“Dags?!?”
“Yeah, dags.”
“Dags!”
“Ohhhh, dogs. Yeah, I like dags.”
(Name that movie!)

Barkhaven (https://barkhaven.com/) is a combination dog park, dog grooming facility, restaurant, and bar in Orlando’s Ivanhoe Village area at 724 Brookhaven Drive, Orlando, FL 32803. To put everyone’s minds at ease, don’t worry — there are no dogs in the dining room shedding, drooling, making noise, or trying to steal people’s food. There is a separate entrance for people to bring their dogs outside to the fenced-in dog park, but there are windows to watch dogs romp and frolic while you eat inside the restaurant, or there are outside tables separated from the dog park with a fence.

Full disclosure: we don’t have a dog. I am super-allergic to them, and I am much more of a cat person (more like I’m totally obsessed with cats and want to be best friends with every cat ever). But my wife grew up with Yorkies and one wonderful Yorkie/schnauzer mix and misses them terribly. When I recently found out Barkhaven existed, I thought she would appreciate a chance to watch some dogs make with the romping and the frolicking while enjoying lunch out after a nearby hair appointment.

The restaurant and bar area is a large, wide-open space with tables and a few half-booths up against one wall. All the food is served in disposable paper bowls and plates, with plastic utensils, which is fine with me. It’s a very casual place. The menu says they don’t use any seed oils, and they do all their frying in beef tallow, so look out, vegetarians. I don’t know when seed oils became public enemy #1 or beef tallow started being considered a healthier option, but I remain skeptical. I’m seeing this sentiment so often, I expect it’s some political agenda. Unlike the wonderful smokiness that comes from frying in reserved bacon grease, I don’t think beef tallow adds any particular flavor to foods, just kind of an oppressive heaviness. Would I end up changing my mind after this lunch at Barkhaven? Read on, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos.

My wife is obsessed with hummus, especially since our recent discovery of The Hummus Guy food truck. Aside from the dogs and the proximity to her stylist, the other reason I suggested Barkhaven was because I saw they serve hummus, and I knew she would want to try it. It’s a very nontraditional hummus, though — mixed with balsamic red peppers (I loved ’em, she didn’t), topped with crushed crispy chickpeas (not sure if they were dehydrated or fried in beef tallow?) and paprika, and served with thick-sliced cucumbers and pita chips (definitely fried in beef tallow, maybe a moment too long).

She usually likes wings, and I’ve been thinking a lot about delicious Korean-style crispy chicken wings recently. As a result, we were both intrigued by the honey mustard crunch wings, glazed with fermented honey mustard, sprinkled with green onions, and drizzled with scratch-made ranch dressing. These were meaty wings, not those tiny, sad sports bar wings I hate, but they were a little dry. The wings were suitably crispy without being breaded (there’s that beef tallow again), and as a mustard aficionado, I liked the honey mustard flavor that wasn’t too sweet like so many honey mustards that I call “dessert mustards.” My wife doesn’t like ranch and didn’t care for the ranch being drizzled on, so I ended up eating most of the wings in three separate servings, mostly back at home.

This was definitely the best thing I tried at Barkhaven, the arayas, also known as a Lebanese burger. Rather than a traditional burger patty that might just be sprinkled with salt and possibly pepper, this beef was heavily seasoned with delicious spices, and it actually had some heat, which I enjoyed. It was stuffed into a pita and grilled to get a crispy exterior, then drizzled with garlic tahini and rosemary pineapple hot honey. It was terrific — savory, spicy, and so messy and greasy. It reminded me of a spicier, greasier, messier version of the hawawshi I enjoyed so much last summer at The Cairo Express, although that was crispier because it didn’t have any condiments or sauces on the exterior surface.
The crunchy red cabbage slaw on the side was pleasant, even though I usually prefer the creaminess of conventional cole slaw. And I didn’t realize this arayas was going to come with fries, but I’m trying to be good and avoid fries. These were pretty conventional crinkle-cut fries, despite the beef tallow, so I wasn’t terribly tempted. I dipped a few in the ranch that came with the wings and dragged a couple through whatever tahini, honey, and meat juice dripped out of the arayas, but I left most of the fries behind and only felt a little guilty about the unexpected food waste.

Even though I’ve been eating less and eating healthier (this meal being an exception), and even though I didn’t devour all the fries, I saw Barkhaven offered onion rings, so I had to try them. I try onion rings anywhere and everywhere, since I have a recurring feature on this food blog called Ring the Alarm! These were described as “Thick-cut onions dipped in a crisp, golden beer batter and fried to perfection,” but they were not the kind that I am always delighted to find in the wild, at restaurants like The Whiskey, Christo’s, Build My Burgers, bb.q Chicken, and even Culver’s. The batter on these was dry, kind of tasteless, and had several burnt, scorched spots. Maybe it was the beef tallow.

Barkhaven also serves wood oven pizzas, fish and chips, salads, a hot dog (natch), desserts that include deep-fried pound cake (I guess they have to put that beef tallow to use!), and a whole menu for dogs. When I saw the combination of “beef, pumpkin, and broccoli” on the menu, along with “frozen carrots,” I thought “those are certainly some choices,” until my wife pointed out that those are options for dogs. But again, the dogs would eat outside. They also have a large selection of beers, wines, cocktails, coffee, tea, and other non-alcoholic beverages, all for humans.

Once we boxed up our ample leftovers, we adjourned outside to watch the aforementioned romping and frolicking for a little while. Those good boys and girls were having a grand time, and we saw some beautiful huskies and even a rascally shiba inu. It was a nice way to decompress mentally and physically after what turned out to be a heavy meal. So that was Barkhaven. If you like dogs, drinking, and beef tallow, you’ll be in absolute heaven!

Sideward Brewing

Sideward Brewing (https://sidewardbrewing.com/) is a brewery-restaurant on the corner of Bumby Avenue and Robinson Street in Orlando’s Milk District. It shares a building with Stasio’s Italian Deli and Market, one of my favorite places to eat in the entire city, and the two casual eateries share an insanely tight and crowded parking lot as well.

My dozens of readers may remember that my wife and I don’t drink, but I’ve been wanting to try the food at Sideward Brewing for years. Everything is scratch-made in house, and I have cool, trusted friends who are regulars who rave about it. They also brew and can their own house-made root beer, and that was the final nudge we needed to make it over there on a recent Sunday in the late afternoon, before it closed at 6 PM. Sunday is the optimal day to go there, since Stasio’s is closed, and the parking lot won’t be as hectic and dangerous as it usually is. Seriously, I’d rather brave the Trader Joe’s/Shake Shack parking lot in Winter Park than the Stasio’s/Sideward parking lot on a Saturday.

Sideward has indoor and outdoor tables, and they all have wooden chairs. The outdoor area is covered, and the tables are four-tops, nicely spaced out. The indoor tables are long, with eight seats at each. We sat indoors, the only two people at our long table. It is a family-friendly place, and plenty of people brought little kids and dogs that were all quiet and well-behaved. You order your food and beer at the counter, and they have a cooler full of canned beers to go. They even have a house merlot, for anyone who prefers wine to beer.

We each started with a house-made Riff & Milo root beer, which is named after two dogs who I’m sure are the best boys. The cans are $5 each, but they are 16 ounces, the equivalent of a pint. I didn’t think twice about paying that price for getting to try a pint of a whole new root beer, to say nothing of supporting a local establishment. The ingredients included cane sugar, brown sugar, honey, vanilla, and natural and artificial flavors. We both thought there was a strong wintergreen taste to this root beer, so I wouldn’t be surprised if wintergreen extract is one of those flavors.

I’m sure their beers are tasty and the highest quality as well.

My wife loves boiled peanuts (which I call “bald peanuts” to fit in in the South), and I can’t think of any other restaurants in Orlando that serve them. She got a nice-sized serving of steaming hot “traditional” bald peanuts, but you can also request them with Korean BBQ, buffalo, sweet heat, Nashville spice, or spicy jalapeno seasoning. She hates anything spicy, so traditional was the safest way to go.

I appreciated that they included two cups — one for the bald peanuts and one for discarded shells.

We both love a good soft pretzel, so we shared an order of two soft pretzels, which were fluffy with lightly crispy, crackly exteriors and a light dusting of crunchy salt crystals, and so, so buttery. They were like the Auntie Anne’s pretzels I love, that I only treat myself to when I’m at an airport and my flight is delayed, but better. In fact, I would argue that this is the best pretzel in the Orlando area. Yes, even better than the big one at Hollerbach’s German Restaurant in Sanford. I said what I said! Take my word for it: there are definitely two in there. The second one is underneath the top one.

The pretzels were served with a grainy sweet mustard called Punks mustard (I’m assuming it was made with Sideward’s Punks in the Waiting Room lager), warm and gooey beer cheese (excellent), and wonderful pimento cheese topped with some thin-sliced pickled peppers. I loved both cheese dips, but these pretzels are so good that they don’t even need any accoutrements.

A muffuletta is one of my favorite sandwiches, and I was excited to try Sideward’s version. A muffuletta is a classic New Orleans Italian sandwich that originated at the Central Grocery on Decatur Street in the French Quarter. I’ve been lucky enough to have the real deal there a few times, but I haven’t been back to New Orleans since 2001. Sideward’s muff isn’t served on the same huge, round loaf of French bread topped with sesame seeds, but the salami, mortadella, capicola, provolone cheese, and olive tapenade came on fluffy focaccia bread. While some places serve a hot muff, I prefer mine chilled, as Central Grocery does theirs. Luckily, Sideward’s muff is tangy, salty, and cool. By the way, the olive salad is usually a combination of olives (green, black, sometimes kalamata), pickled giardiniera vegetables, onions, carrots, celery, and hot peppers chopped up and mixed with herbs and olive oil. You can buy the Central Grocery’s own olive salad expensively, but it is easy to make your own, especially if you start out with a jar of giardiniera. I love it on multiple kinds of sandwiches.

My wife ordered a caprese sandwich that she was kind enough to share with me. It was delicious! As good as the muff, if not better. It included house-made pesto, fresh mozzarella, roasted grape tomatoes, roasted red peppers, and balsamic-dressed arugula on a ciabatta roll that looked and tasted very fresh, with a crackly exterior crust. Usually I’m disappointed in ciabatta compared to focaccia, a nice crusty semolina roll, or even a soft hoagie roll. Many of them are difficult to tear with your teeth due to a hard and chewy outer crust, but this might have been the nicest ciabatta I’ve ever had. My wife absolutely does not share my sandwich obsession, but she appreciates a good caprese salad or sandwich (especially when I pick out the tomatoes for her, as I did here). She was really gung-ho about this one, and I was so glad she was in a sharing mood. It was perfect in every way!

I got cool, creamy, refreshing Gram’s potato-egg salad as a side, and it did not disappoint. I am convinced that hard-boiled eggs make any potato salad better.

Sideward serves a beautiful-looking breakfast burrito on Sundays from the time it opens at 11 AM, but we were too late for that. It didn’t matter, since we had plenty to choose from and enjoyed everything.

I’ve been wanting to return to Sideward Brewing for another meal, but haven’t had a chance, and I really wanted to get this review out there. I keep thinking about those pretzels and how comforting they would be in this unseasonably chilly weather, especially with all those accoutrements. I highly recommend them, along with the root beer and both sandwiches we tried. Yes, even sharing a wall and a (stressful) parking lot with Stasio’s, home of my favorite sandwich in all of Orlando (the namesake Stasio Italian sub), I would still consider Sideward’s muffuletta and caprese to be destination-worthy sandwiches. And if you like beer, I always hear it is one of the best breweries in Orlando. Check it out! And if you’ve already checked it out, what is your regular food order, and what beers do you recommend?

Lazy Moon Pizza

Lazy Moon Pizza (https://www.lazymoonpizza.com/) was one of the first pizzerias and “cool” restaurants I discovered when I moved to Orlando in late 2004. The original location opened around that same time, in a small shopping center on University Boulevard and Alafaya Trail, across the street from the massive University of Central Florida in east Orlando. Almost all the businesses in there were locally owned and operated, including Lazy Moon and Mama Millie’s Jamaican Kitchen, which was my first Jamaican restaurant in Orlando.

That original Lazy Moon reminded me of the divey college town establishments I loved back in Gainesville. It wasn’t the least bit corporate-feeling, bright, or shiny. There was a wall covered with stickers, they served pizza by the gigantic slice, and they had a $5 special called “Boxcar Willie,” a slice and a Pabst Blue Ribbon. (It is $7 now, which isn’t too bad compared to how inflation has hit so many other things.) Sadly, that shopping center was demolished several years ago to make way for a high-rise apartment building for college students. The ground floor is full of restaurants, but mostly chains (maybe all chains by the time of this writing).

Luckily, Lazy Moon reopened a few blocks west on University Boulevard, then opened a second location East Colonial Drive in the Mills 50 District (Orlando’s best neighborhood for dining) in late 2016. Most recently, a third location opened in Maitland, closest to me. I recently paid two separate visits to that Maitland location, and they were my first tastes of Lazy Moon’s pizza in close to a decade, back when the Mills 50 location had just opened. I was thrilled to say that the huge slices were as huge and tasty as always, ever since my earliest visits to that dingy dive near UCF 20 years ago.

This was a plain cheese slice I used for a “control”: the basis upon which to evaluate Lazy Moon’s crust, cheese, sauce, and their delicate balance. If a pizzeria can’t produce a good plain cheese slice, all the premium toppings in the world won’t make it a good pizza. Luckily, this was as good a pizza as I remember. Not super-gourmet, which is fine, and similar to a New York-style slice, just a lot larger. It is so thin and crispy, and it doesn’t flop when you pick it up or fold it. And if you’re going to pick it up, you almost have to fold it. My only complaint about Lazy Moon is the thickness of the crust, when they could probably cover more surface area with sauce and cheese. You can see how large it is compared to a normal-sized plate, fork, and knife. That’s the normal slice size!

This was a combination of caramelized onions and roasted red peppers, two of my favorite ingredients in anything: sandwiches, salads, pasta, and definitely pizza.

I noticed Lazy Moon served chili, but maybe they always had, and I was too single-minded to notice. This time, I tried a bowl. I love chili and always have to try it whenever it is on a menu somewhere, since every bowl is different and has its own merits. This was a pretty good, standard red chili with ground beef, kidney beans, tomatoes, and pretty typical chili spices (cumin, paprika, etc.), garnished with shredded cheddar cheese. It was really tasty and savory, but not spicy by any standard. I liked it and recommend it, especially now that we finally have some chilly (chili) weather. In fact, it inspired me to cook a pot of my own chili not that long after. Fear not, vegetarians and vegans, because Lazy Moon also serves a hearty vegetable chili with zucchini, squash, and beans simmered in “mild chili spices.” I haven’t tried it, but you may want to. You can even order giant slices of pizza with either the regular beef chili or the vegetarian chili on them!

On a second visit, I decided to try Lazy Moon’s alternative sauces for their pizza, even though I am usually a tomato sauce purist. This was a plain cheese slice with their tomatoey, smokey, slightly sweet barbecue sauce, just for the heck of it:

And this right here was the main reason I returned, to try their limited-time French onion slice, with broth-simmered caramelized onions, gruyère, asiago, and mozzarella cheese, and finely diced chives over their mustard base sauce. It sounded delicious on this chilly day, and it did not disappoint. It wasn’t drippy or soggy, but held up well and had a nice crisp crunch like all their other slices. I love French onion soup, and I love mustard, but it had never occurred to me to try their mustard-based sauce before. The mustard flavor was extremely subtle, probably more like a Dijon than a bright, overpowering mustard.

Lazy Moon makes much of their Cuban sandwich-inspired pizza, with ham, mojo criollo-marinated pork, dill pickles, and mozzarella over that mustard sauce, but I’ve never tried that one. I like Cuban sandwiches and I like pizza, but it always seemed like kind of a lot. Even though I really do consider myself a pizza purist, and I greatly prefer tomato-based sauces, this French onion slice was a real winner. But I’m publishing this review now because it is only available through “early January” (as per their Facebook post on December 22nd, 2025). So if you are intrigued, get out there ASAP to try it! By the way, the Mills 50 location did not have the French onion slice today (Tuesday, December 30th), but Maitland did, so maybe call your closest Lazy Moon first, before schlepping out to it.

In addition to the tomato, barbecue, and mustard sauces, they also offer pesto and whipped ricotta sauces for their pizza, which both sound good.

While I don’t think Lazy Moon Pizza will win over the most stereotypically loud and proud New Yawk transplants (because those people can’t lower their standards enough to enjoy any local pizza, probably because of dah watah), it is a fine place to get a huge, crispy slice with some interesting toppings and maybe enjoy a beer or cocktail with friends. All three current locations are casual and laid-back, with more modern, welcoming ambience than the ’90s college town dive bar vibes of the original, which I do miss terribly. But I like the new places too, especially the Maitland location. Regardless, don’t let that French onion slice pass you by, since the clock is ticking on it! That and a bowl of chili would be such perfect comfort food on a week like this, here at the end of 2025.

Runabout Brewing Co.

Runabout Brewing Co. (https://www.runaboutbrewing.com/) calls itself a “Kitchen and Raw Bar,” a brewpub that serves an assortment of Southern-accented comfort food (pizza, burgers, sandwiches, salads, oysters, and more) and has 20 beers on tap. Longtime readers know my wife and I don’t drink, but a cool and trusted friend loves this place, so we recently followed her advice and went out there for a Saturday lunch date. It is located at 4721 S. Orange Avenue in Orlando, south of downtown in a district I believe is called Edgewood, between SoDo and Pinecastle. We were among the first to arrive, a little before noon, but the place was pretty slammed by the time we left, probably full of loyal locals.

This hot and crispy jumbo pretzel (that’s what they call it!) is more than enough for two people to share. It has the best crackly texture, almost like it was lightly fried. It is also dusted with Tajin, a chili-lime seasoning that I’m used to having over fruit, not a baked (and fried?) good. My wife doesn’t dig on cheese sauces or dips in general, but I loved the lager cheese fondue dipping sauce.

These were some great onion rings, definitely beer-battered and served with sriracha aioli. I give these a strong and confident RING THE ALARM!

My wife ordered this lovely arugula and spinach salad, topped with feta cheese, Granny Smith apple slices, and sugar-dusted pecans. There is also a lemon vinaigrette dressing on it that she really liked. She added two buttermilk chicken tenders to the salad, which didn’t photograph well, but she seemed to like them. You can also get herb-seared steak, crispy fried oysters, a salmon filet, or three chilled prawns added onto any salad there.

I couldn’t decide between two entrees, but I had not had a good burger in a while, so I ordered this “hot stuff” burger topped with pepper jack cheese, fire-roasted peppers, and crispy fried pickled jalapenos and topped with chili sauce. It wasn’t the largest burger in town, or the thickest, or the prettiest, or the juiciest, but it was still tasty.
The fries were pretty standard — if you’re thinking they would taste like McDonald’s fries, you’d be right, but there isn’t anything wrong with that!

And while it isn’t on the menu on the website, they did offer an Italian sub on the lunch menu when we went, so I ordered it to go. I got some salami, pepperoni, provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, and vinaigrette dressing on the whitest sub roll ever. It looked underbaked but tasted fine, and it was a solid sandwich.The potato chips were house-made and stayed crispy all the way home, when I separated them from the sandwich so they wouldn’t get soggy.

It is quite a haul for us to get to Runabout Brewing from home, but I’d go back to meet friends there, absolutely. There might be bigger, better burgers and Italian subs elsewhere in Orlando, but I liked these, don’t get me wrong. I was impressed by the breadth and depth of the menu just the same, especially for a brewery-restaurant. Next time I’d probably try some seafood, especially since I love oysters so much, or the marinated and wood fire-roasted wings, since so many places serve wings but so few get them right. The menu on the website now displays collard greens braised with smoked turkey necks, which I didn’t notice at the time (or maybe they weren’t on the menu when we went), but I’ve enjoyed a lot of good collards lately, so I would definitely get those on a return trip. I am just glad to see so many local breweries thriving and serving good food, not just the lowest-effort bar food.

HMS Bounty (Los Angeles)

HMS Bounty (http://www.thehmsbounty.com/) is a beloved dive bar in Los Angeles’ vibrant Koreatown. Named after a British ship where sailors staged an infamous mutiny (you may have seen the 1962 movie Mutiny on the Bounty with Marlon Brando), the bar is nautical-themed, but not in a cheesy way. Just don’t let “dive bar” dissuade you, because it’s a cool, dark room with a lot of character (dig those red leather booths, one of my favorite bits of recurring decor in L.A. dining and drinking establishments), history (it opened in 1962 — the year that movie came out! — on the ground floor of an apartment building dating back to 1924), and most importantly, super-solid food.

Before my L.A. work trips, I often consult websites like Eater for recommendations, and they listed HMS Bounty on their lists of The 38 Best Restaurants in Los Angeles (as of this writing, I’ve been to four), 20 Classic Los Angeles Restaurants Every Angeleno Must Try (five so far!), and The Best Dive Bars in Los Angeles. The restaurant was even a filming location in season 1, episode 11 of Mad Men (a fantastic show I loved), where Elisabeth Moss’ audience point-of-view character Peggy Olson went on a date to a seafood restaurant, “La Trombetta.” Season 1 was set in 1962, so the vibes were perfect, like everything else on that show. A different season 1 episode of Mad Men filmed at The Prince, another classic Koreatown restaurant with similar vibes and decor (and surprisingly good Korean food), so they were pros at capturing L.A.’s enduring old-school cool and making it stand in for early ’60s New York City.

After teaching an evening class on one of my L.A. visits, some students invited me out to dinner with them, and I was so honored, of course I agreed. We walked to HMS Bounty (which was their idea, not mine) and proceeded to share several plates while chatting and decompressing from the school day.

Fried calamari was on point, with a nice, light breading and a tender texture. No rubber bands of squid here! I think the sauce turned out to be cocktail sauce rather than marinara, which surprised me in the moment.

As my longtime readers know (the couple dozen of you), I will order onion rings anywhere and everywhere they are available. These were really good, with a completely different kind of batter than the calamari that was crispy, stayed on, and the rings weren’t too thick or too thin. It was a generous portion for $6. RING THE ALARM!

I was blown away by these thick, meaty, tender, well-seasoned hot wings, which were mildly hot, if anything. I’ve written before about my contempt for tiny, dry, crunchy sports bar-style wings, but these were the complete opposite. They were honestly in the Top Ten wings I’ve ever had anywhere.

I don’t think I ever got a piece of fish from this fish and chips platter, and I might have grabbed a single fry, just for the experience of it all. The menu said all entrees (including these fish and chips) were served with mashed potatoes and vegetables, but I honestly don’t remember if they arrived on a separate plate or not. If not, nobody noticed or complained.

But because I always study menus in advance, this is what I really wanted to try: sautéed sand dabs, a kind of fish that I’ve never seen on any menus in a lifetime in Florida, but I’ve already been to two restaurants in Los Angeles that serve them (both old-school places, if that makes a difference). I will review the other one at some point in the future, because I’d still love to return there.
How often do you get to taste a completely new, unfamiliar fish, especially by the time you hit your 40s? These sand dabs were mild and tender (definitely not a “fishy”-tasting fish), probably lightly dredged in seasoned flour. I was so happy to try an all-new, all-different fish! By the way, sand dabs are a flat-bodied fish related to the flounder.

The one thing we didn’t order that we probably should have was the “famous baseball steak,” which the Eater writeups had mentioned. But there was plenty of food to go around, and nobody left hungry or disappointed.

This group of brilliant, ambitious, warm, welcoming students that invited me out was all about sharing food (although I think I was the most interested in the onion rings and sand dabs) and spirited conversation. It was a delightful dinner with even better company, and I was so honored to be there for multiple reasons. I mean, most of my readers have been students at one point or another, but how often have you ever wanted to hang out with your teachers or professors socially? Has that ever happened?

I can’t imaging too many L.A. tourists making a special trip to HMS Bounty (but if you do, more power to ya!), but it is definitely a place that locals should pop into at least once. With all that history, timeless cool vibes, and much better food than one might expect, it would be worth checking it off your lists. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized I really like dark dining rooms, even if I sometimes need reading glasses to make out the menu. That lovely dinner felt like I was transported to a different time and place, if only temporarily, and that’s what a really nice restaurant experience should be able to do.

Finka Table & Tap (Miami)

Finka Table & Tap (https://www.finkarestaurant.com/) is a Cuban-Peruvian-Korean fusion gastropub in Miami. If that sounds too good to be true, trust me — it’s real, and it’s spectacular. My best foodie friend took me there on my a recent trip to visit him and my family down in Miami. It is one of his favorite restaurants in the city, and he knew I would dig it too.

Finka is probably considered to be off the beaten path in Miami, far from the tony and trendy areas like Wynwood, Brickell, South Beach, and Coral Gables, but tucked away in the West Kendall suburbs. But just like another kick-ass Miami restaurant my friend brought me to, the award-winning, Cuban-inspired barbecue paradise Smoke & Dough, which is only five minutes away, Finka is worth a trip to Kendall to discover and experience for yourself.

It has been a while since our visit, so I didn’t remember what impressive-looking cocktail my friend ordered, but he identified it as a mai tai, one of his favorite drinks. He said it was a particularly good one, too, since Finka uses orgeat syrup.

It was your typical sweltering Miami summer day, and I have become a true lemonade connoisseur. Finka’s lemonade hit the spot.

Finka serve croquetas de jamon from the iconic Islas Canarias Cuban restaurant in West Kendall, and they are the absolute best croquetas anywhere in Miami. If you don’t believe me, my best foodie friend reviews Cuban cuisine and especially croquetas all over the city in his Croqueta Diaries, and he agrees. I admire his focus, and he is an excellent food writer. He’s brought me to the Islas Canarias ventanita before, to try croquetas straight from the source, but it felt like a bonus to be able to order them at Finka. They are never burnt or greasy — just fried to golden-brown perfection, smoky, creamy, and rich. A squirt from the lime wedge brought a nice acidic tang to cut the savory richness.

We set to work sharing those as well as the malanga nachos, crispy malanga (taro root) chips smothered with ribeye picadillo, a three-cheese sauce, maduros (we both love sweet fried plantains), pink pickled onions, leche de tigre sour cream, Fresno peppers, and scallions. It was a fusion feast.
By the way, leche de tigre is the spicy marinating liquid left over from marinating ceviche, so don’t worry — no real tigers were milked for this sour cream. Can you imagine?

I don’t think this is on the menu anymore, but my friend ordered the gochujang noodles, a dish with spicy sweet potato noodles, shrimp, snow peas, bok choy, squash, carrots, and mushrooms. I didn’t try it (I avoid mushrooms), but he seemed to like it.

I got “dak-galbi”-style chicken fried rice, with queso frito (fried cheese!), pineapples, red peppers, seasonal veggies, maduros, sesame seeds, spicy gochujang sauce (which I have become a huge fan of), and pickled cabbage. It was hard to choose, with so many interesting dishes on the menu, but this seemed to exemplify Finka’s commitment to fusion cuisine, while a few other things seemed a little more “normal.”

I know tourists, hipsters, and bon vivants probably avoid Kendall for their grand nights out in Miami, but there are more top-notch, destination-worthy restaurants there than when I left that area for good and moved to Orlando, at the end of 2004. My best foodie friend and I grew up in Kendall. We survived Kendall. Whether you’re a Miami local or just passing through for a good time, if not a long time, you could do a hell of a lot worse than venturing into West Kendall for a memorable fusion feast at Finka. Maybe plan accordingly and hit Finka and the outstanding Smoke & Dough on the same trip — possibly dinner at one place and takeout for lunch the next day from the other!

Nuri’s Tavern

Nuri’s Tavern (https://nuristavern.com/) is a new pizzeria and bar on Pine Street in downtown Orlando, a place I almost never go anymore. It usually takes the temptation of a concert to force me back downtown, but this time, it only took the allure of pizza… and nostalgia. Nuri’s serves thin-crust tavern-style pizza, which you can get at Domino’s, but it definitely isn’t the same. This style of pizza fills me with nostalgia for kiddie birthday party places in the ’80s, with video games, carnival games like Skee-Ball and Whack-A-Mole, cheap prizes, and creepy singing animatronic robots.

We didn’t have Chuck E. Cheese or Showbiz Pizza growing up in Miami in the ’80s, but we had a place called Mark Twain’s Riverboat Playhouse in West Kendall, complete with the video games and carny games, a ball pit for kids to play in (absolutely disgusting, if you stop to think about it for a moment), and a dining room with animatronic, anthropomorphic dogs dressed up like a Dixieland band, holding musical instruments, awkwardly herking and jerking to recordings of very non-Dixieland oldies like “Windy” by The Association and “Spinning Wheel” by Blood, Sweat, and Tears. Once per “show,” an spotlight shined on an animatronic of the great American writer and humorist Mark Twain, and he appeared to come to life during the robot dogs’ musical set. I assume he would say something pithy and then disappear off stage.

You might be thinking this is odd on so many levels, and you would be right. For one thing, anyone who knows and loves Mark Twain would know he was a huge fan of cats rather than dogs, and even rented cats from local folks when he traveled, to hang out in hotels with him. But keep in mind this place existed in Miami in the ’80s, where mountains of cocaine were surely commonplace, so there you go. I know Mark Twain’s Riverboat Playhouse survived into the early ’90s, because once my middle school jazz band went there on a field trip as a reward, even though most of us probably felt like we outgrew it. There was an even larger, more mysterious, more magical birthday party play-place called Pirates back in the ’80s, somewhere out on Coral Way. It is also long gone, but it will always exist in my increasingly foggy memories.

Anyway, I bring this up because Nuri’s Tavern gave me major early ’80s birthday party play-place vibes, just meant more for adults rather than kids. Like Primrose Lanes, the Milk District restaurant and hipster bowling alley owned by the same hospitality group, there are hipster bowling alley vibes at Nuri’s, as the founders always aim to create too-cool-for-school, Instagram-worthy destinations.

The walls are light wood-paneled, there are different kinds of cushy booths, vintage pinball machines, an antique telephone booth, a working photo booth (Nuri’s is big on booths), and even a scooter!

While the era of casual family restaurants with “crazy crap on the walls” seemed to peak in the 1990s, Nuri’s really went big with its fun, kitschy, retro decor. It also reminded me of visiting my late, great great-uncle and great-aunt in Canarsie in 1991 (when I was 13) and hanging out in their tricked-out Brooklyn basement, which had a game room/mancave atmosphere long before anyone called rooms like that “mancaves.” As you can see, there is a lot to look at once you order and wait for your food.

By the way, you scan a QR code at your table and then order and even pay on your phone. I will do this (when in Rome, right?), but I admit I’m not a big fan. That said, on both of my visits, a server stopped by our table to offer a print menu and take my order in person. However, the restaurant wasn’t busy on either of these visits, so maybe they count on the QR code ordering process when they get slammed later on.

The pizza menu is divided into red and white sauce pizzas, and they are all twelve inches in diameter and sliced into rectangles and squares. I’m always a red sauce guy, so for my first solo visit, I ordered the meatball pizza with red sauce, mozzarella and pecorino Romano cheeses, pickled giardiniera vegetables (not nearly enough; I could have used a lot more), oregano, and of course, savory mini-meatballs. It was so light and crispy and delicious — not a heavy pizza like Chicago deep dish (really more of a casserole), Detroit pan pizza with its burnt, caramelized edges, or my beloved Sicilian, but almost more like a snack pizza. Also, I posit that meatballs are the most underrated meat pizza topping.

I raved about Nuri’s Tavern all week and dragged my wife downtown to try it the following weekend. She ordered this mango lime “mocktail” that was really sour, and neither of us liked it much. Also, it was $8!

That time, I ordered the “meat x3” pizza with red sauce, mozzarella and pecorino Romano cheeses, sweet sausage, meatball, pepperoni, and onion. It was also wonderful, just maybe too similar to the first pizza. What really made a difference was requesting a swirl of pesto sauce on that pizza, which I found out about sometime after my first visit, even though it isn’t listed as an option on the menu. I love basil with tomatoes, especially a good pesto sauce, and it totally made that second pizza sing. It would be good on anything!

My wife is a white pizza gal, so she ordered the classic white pizza with mozzarella and ricotta cheeses, black pepper, and lemon. While she doesn’t always like the strong flavors I do, she admitted it was a bit bland, and she probably should have chosen the broccoli pizza instead. That probably would have been more flavorful, with mozzarella, pecorino Romano, and aged provolone cheeses, broccoli, lemon, and chili. Oh well, next time! And there will be a next time. She ended up bringing most of her classic white pizza home, and I ended up eating most of it.

We also shared an order of meatballs, which were fan-freakin’-tastic. I can’t say a single bad thing about these meatballs. They were much larger than the mini-meatballs on the meatball pizza.

And just as good as the pizza and the meatballs was the Caesar salad we shared. They use little gem lettuce (similar to romaine, but smaller and more tender), more pecorino Romano cheese, an excellent Caesar dressing with a lot of good umami flavor that almost certainly comes from anchovies, and the most awesome little “garlic crunchies” that added a lot of flavor and crunchy texture to the salad. I’ve been on a Caesar salad kick lately, and this is one of the best ones I’ve ever had — and not just in Orlando, but of all time.

My wife ended her meal with some soft serve ice cream, which she loved so much at Primrose Lanes. Both restaurants were shaped and formed by the same executive chef, Jason Campbell (formerly of Luke’s Kitchen and Bar in Maitland). We love Luke’s and were also big Primrose Lanes fans, so I wasn’t surprised at all that Chef Campbell crafted the menu at Nuri’s. Anyway, she was crazy for the soft serve here, too. I believe this was a vanilla and pistachio swirl.

So yeah, Nuri’s Tavern is terrific, and I would happily go back anytime. (If anyone ever wants to go, let me know.) Next time, I have to remember to check if those vintage pinball machines actually work, or if they’re just for decoration. And you have to remember to ask for that pesto swirl on whatever pizza you get, unless of course you don’t like basil, in which case, don’t ruin your pizza on my account!

RusTeak

RusTeak (https://www.rusteakthorntonpark.com/) is a nice little “gastropub”-style restaurant in Thornton Park, near downtown Orlando. My biggest gripes about all of Orlando’s “Park” neighborhoods (Thornton, College, Baldwin, Audubon, and Winter) is that there is rarely any parking to be found. But luckily, RusTeak is right next door to a convenient parking garage, and that makes it a perfect choice for dinner out before attending a show at The Abbey, a small concert venue directly across the street, or heading out elsewhere for downtown events. My wife and I almost never go downtown unless we’re heading to a concert, so we tried RusTeak for the first time back in April, on our way to a show at The Abbey. I’m really glad we did.

RusTeak serves a salmon BLT sandwich, but you can substitute the catch of the day fish on the BLT for a $3 upcharge. When we went on an early Thursday evening, swordfish was the catch of the day, and my wife is a mighty big fan of swordfish. She ended up ordering the BLT, which came with grilled swordfish, Applewood smoked bacon, baby arugula, a tomato slice, and lemon Dijon aioli on a toasted brioche bun.

Needless to say, that’s a very nontraditional BLT, but she loved the swordfish, shared the bacon with me, and left the bun and tomato behind, as she often does with sandwiches and burgers. (Me being me, I took the bun and tomato home to make a sandwich the following day with some chicken I had just cooked.) You can choose a side with all the sandwiches at RusTeak, and she went with house-made potato chips. They were pretty simple — crunchy, with just salt, but no weird or wacky seasonings or dips.

I was having trouble deciding what to order, but my wife was facing a chalkboard with daily specials written on it, and she drew my attention to the board. I was facing the other way and would have missed it completely. I don’t even think I was going to get a burger, but one of the Thursday specials was a bacon jam burger served with crispy fried onions and a thick tomato slice on a pretzel bun. The board said that burger was only $7, so I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but our patient server confirmed the price was right. It didn’t come with a side for that price, but I figured my wife would toss a chip or two my way, so I was sold! You can barely get a burger at McDonald’s for $7 anymore, and most gastropubby restaurants in the RusTeak vein would probably charge closer to $20 for a burger of this caliber.
And that $7 burger would have been a bargain at twice the price, I tell you. It was a thick, juicy patty (no smash-style burgers here), cooked to a perfect medium rare, as I requested. The photo makes it look ridiculously tall, but the pretzel bun was soft and nicely grilled, and it squished down as I held it firmly. I was able to take nice bites out of that thing with minimal mess, and it was delicious. The sweet, salty, smoky, stickiness of the bacon jam worked well with the juicy beef, crunchy and salty fried onions, and the hearty bun held up as well as anyone could hope for. That’s a real deal, my friends — not just a tasty burger, but a legit bargain at a restaurant where you might not expect any sort of specials like that.

I have reviewed The Stubborn Mule before, another Thornton Park restaurant literally next door to The Abbey and facing RusTeak, and I believe the two restaurants share the same owners. I should note that I also ordered a burger at The Stubborn Mule when we went there, and while it was bigger, I thought RusTeak’s burger was much better.

Since our concert at The Abbey (a musical stand-up comedy performance by the multi-talented Fred Armisen) was right across the street, we had plenty of time for a leisurely dessert to make my wife happy. She was drawn to the pistachio bread pudding, topped with vanilla ice cream and a white chocolate drizzle. It was HUGE! Bread pudding is kind of like beets — something I never ordered or ate for too many years growing up, only to find out as an adult how awesome it could be. I’m not the biggest pistachio eater (honestly, I could take or leave nuts in general), but my wife loves them.
The bread pudding was rich, thick, and buttery, and the portion was gigantic. Even if we didn’t have a concert to get to, the two of us could not have finished it, so she killed the scoop of ice cream and we boxed up about two-thirds of the bread pudding to go. I would definitely recommend it.

I can’t believe we had never made it to RusTeak before, but like I said, we rarely venture into Thornton Park or downtown Orlando in general. The only reason I haven’t raced back is because it’s just out of our general radius (especially now that I work from home, further from downtown and all the “Parks”), although I wish it wasn’t. Whenever I do make it back, I’d love to try the Calabrian mussels, maple bacon brussels sprouts, and cauliflower pancetta casserole. Oh yeah, and the house-made ricotta with spinach-almond pesto, candied cherry tomato jam, and naan bread (that’s all one thing!). I’d also be really intrigued by whichever burgers are future Thursday specials, since the one I tried was so good. If you’re a fan of Winter Park’s venerable Ravenous Pig, maybe the first hip gastropub to open in the Orlando area back in 2007, you would love this place.

But especially if you’re going to a show at The Abbey, you can’t beat RusTeak for convenience, especially if you park in the Air Garage right next door, on Pine Street. By the way, parking was only $10, which also seems like a bargain for anything near downtown, and you pay with your smartphone. I have no idea what non-smartphone-havers like my parents or brother would do, but they wouldn’t be going to a fun dinner out followed by a concert near a major urban downtown area anyway.

The Prince (Los Angeles)

The Prince (https://www.instagram.com/theprincela) is a classy, old-school Los Angeles Korean restaurant and lounge that is most famous for appearing in multiple movies and TV shows over the decades, including Chinatown (one of the greatest L.A. movies, neo-noirs, and movies in general of all time), Mad Men (one of my favorite shows of all time), and New Girl (where it was the characters’ regular hangout). I’ve never actually watched New Girl, but now I am imagining Zooey Deschanel with bangs and glasses, singing a silly old song (maybe “Dream a Little Dream of Me”?) and strumming a ukulele in this dusky, dark red hipster hangout.

Back in November, I was on a work trip to L.A. and had a chance to join some of my amazing co-workers for dinner. I always stay in Koreatown, where my employer is located, and where there seem to be hundreds of Korean restaurants to choose from, at all different styles and price points. I am still very new to Korean food, but the more things I try, the more I feel inspired to branch out and try more. The Prince was walkable from our campus, so since I was already aware of its cinematic résumé and timeless cool décor, I convinced this small group to trust and follow me.

I must apologize in advance for the photos that follow in this review. It’s a gorgeous room, dark and anachronistic, but as soon as I took my first photo to set the scene, a server yelled at me to not use flash photography inside. So I did my best, such as it is, to share the red vinyl booths, the dark wood, the dim lighting, and even these hale and hearty knights standing guard.

Also, I swear I saw Spike Jonze, director of super-creative movies and iconic music videos, dining there, but I wasn’t 100% sure it was him. As much as I wanted to thank him for “Sabotage,” Adaptation, and Jackass, I didn’t want to be That Guy who disturbed his dinner… especially if it wasn’t Spike.

Anyway, our group was a mix of adventurous and unadventurous eaters, so we picked five things that looked good to everyone, and we all shared them. That is my favorite way to dine with friends.

These are the onion rings (RING THE ALARM!) and cheese balls, because you know if I go anywhere and see onion rings on the menu, I have to order them. They were crowd-pleasers, and it was not the first time I had really good onion rings at a Korean restaurant. The cheese balls were even better — perfect, golden-fried, golf ball-sized orbs with melty cheese in the middle, under the breading. I should have tried to get a shot of a bisected cheese ball to show you their molten, sticky, creamy centers, but they went fast!

When you’re introducing Korean food to unfamiliar diners, beef bulgogi is one of those perfect gateway dishes. Bulgogi is a dish of thin-sliced beef (often sirloin steak), marinated in a savory-sweet sauce, and then grilled or stir-fried with onions and green bell peppers. The bulgogi marinade contains soy sauce, sugar, sesame oil, garlic, ginger, and pear juice, which tenderizes the meat. There is nothing spicy or “weird” to scare off the unadventurous diner, so it was another hit at our table. Just FYI: “bul” is Korean for fire, and “gogi” means meat.

We also ordered galbi (sometimes called kalbi), a very similar dish but with beef short ribs sliced cross-wise against the bones, rather than thin-sliced steak. It has a similar flavor due to the marinade, but I already love short ribs in any form — not just the flavor, but the wonderful texture. I especially like the chewy part of the meat right around the bones, which you can just pull off with your fingers if you don’t want to gnaw it off. This was served over onions and scallions, and there wasn’t a morsel left.

I didn’t have any input in choosing this garlic shrimp dish, served with fresh, raw, shredded cabbage, but I was happy to try a couple of the shrimp, which came in their shells and had to be peeled. It was delicious — different from scampi or any other garlic shrimp dish you might be envisioning, but still very satisfying.

I did choose this dish, though: thick, perfectly al dente udon noodles served with mixed seafood: shrimp, mussels, squid, and tiny crab legs (more trouble than they were worth to crack open). The menu describes it as coming in a spicy broth, but it could be served mild upon request. I honestly don’t remember what we decided as a group, but I think we went with spicy and almost everyone still loved it.

Real Korean food aficionados might be rolling their eyes, disappointed that we made relatively staid and familiar choices, but that’s often what happens in a “family-style” group dining situation. I would have loved to try the soondae, since I always love blood sausage in all its other forms, from Argentinian morcilla to British black pudding, but nobody else was on board with this one. It’s all good!

I have no regrets or complaints about The Prince, especially because it is such a part of Los Angeles and Hollywood history. I would not be surprised if there are better Korean restaurants in L.A.’s Koreatown, but the vibes at The Prince are unmatched. Every time I make it out there for work, I try to visit at least one historic, iconic L.A. landmark, whether it’s a tourist attraction, a restaurant, or both. So far, I’m making quite a list. I love my job, and I love L.A.!

The Moderne

I guess I haven’t published a new review in about a month, since work has been keeping me so busy. Working from home, I also haven’t been able to go out to eat quite as often, which means I’m cooking more and saving money (yet not losing any weight). But this review is long overdue, from a date night about a month ago at one of the prettiest, swankiest, sexiest restaurant/bar/lounges in Orlando, The Moderne (https://www.themodernebar.com/) in the foodie dream district of Mills 50. I’m sure a lot of my regular readers have already been here, but this was our first visit to The Moderne. I had been wanting to try it for a while, since it features an eclectic menu of small plates — mostly pan-Asian dishes, but some include other international influences, ranging from Italian to Peruvian.

This was my wife’s beautiful mojito mocktail, served with a dehydrated lime slice as a garnish. I tried a sip, and it was delicious. The Moderne features an enticing cocktail menu, but we were both happy to see a few mocktail options for non-drinkers like us. I guess you could call this one a “no”-jito. My wife reminded me to mention that she first asked for a simple Shirley Temple, but the gorgeous, well-stocked bar did not have any grenadine syrup, something we both thought was odd at the time.

Our order of duck wontons came out first. These hand-folded wonton wrappers were stuffed with shredded duck seasoned with Chinese five-spice powder and fried until crispy. They were served with chili oil peanut sauce. We both wished they had been served with more duck inside, even though they tasted good and were surprisingly not that oily.

This beautiful dish was the tuna kobachi, with spicy cubed tuna, avocado, Japanese-style marinated cucumbers, scallion, red tobiko, micro cilantro, and a dish of ponzu sauce for dippin’ and dunkin’. I loved it so much. I could eat this every day of my life and never get tired of it, although I’d hate to think of what my mercury levels would be. It was my favorite dish that we tried, a perfect 10/10.

Next came our chashu quesadillas, which were plated beautifully. Quesadillas are the easiest thing to make at home, but my homemade ones never feature chashu pork, (like the kind of pork you get in a bowl of “real” (not instant) ramen), shredded cheddar and mozzarella cheeses, Japanese Kewpie mayo, chili amarillo sauce, and pickled onions. Well, mine would have the cheeses and Barbie Dream House-pink pickled onions, but that’s where the similarities begin and end.

This was another hit with both of us: yellowtail (hamachi) ceviche, with cubes of cool, refreshing yellowtail in mango wasabi lime sauce, diced onion, serrano, red tobiko, micro cilantro, all encased in perfectly thin, crispy, delicate spheres of pani puri, the Indian street food classic (see my Bombay Street Kitchen review for authentic pani puri). It was a gorgeous fusion experience that dazzled all of our senses.

My wife chose these miso cream noodles, which sounded like something she would love. The dish featured thin pasta (like angel hair or vermicelli), that chashu pork again, mushrooms, miso, fried garlic, toasted bread crumbs, parmesan cheese, and scallions. She admitted not really being into it and said it was both very rich and on the bland side — an interesting dichotomy, kind of like fettuccine alfredo from the Olive Garden (although this definitely had more flavor than that)! She picked at it and brought most of it home, where I happily finished it after picking the mushrooms out. I’m a pretty tolerant guy, but I have this unfortunate intolerance to mushrooms, and chefs freakin’ love throwing them into things.

I chose a different noodle dish for myself that seemed like another fragrant fusion feast: seafood pappardelle, with pappardelle pasta (wide, flat noodles that are wider than fettuccine), shrimp, tamarind Nikkei sauce (Nikkei being a Peruvian-Japanese fusion due to all the Japanese immigrants in Peru), carrots, red peppers, onions, peanuts, and a cilantro-heavy “Asian herb salad.” It was okay. The sauce was a little sweet and tangy, not as spicy as I had hoped, and very thin. I thought it was odd that the dish was called “seafood pappardelle” when the only seafood in it was shrimp. This was a last-minute choice when the server was already taking our orders, but I think I would have enjoyed one of the other noodle dishes more. Oh well, you live and you learn!

So that was our first experience at The Moderne. I liked it and would go back, but my wife admitted it was not one of her favorite restaurants. Oh well, people have different tastes and like different things — that is no surprise. My favorites were the two dishes with raw fish, which is usually one of my favorite things to eat. (This also explains why The Moderne’s neighbor a few doors down, Poke Hana, remains one of my favorite restaurants in all of Orlando all these years later.) I might get those again, or other raw fish options, and I would definitely try a different noodle dish on a second visit. Plus, after dinner at The Moderne, you can go next door and have some of Orlando’s finest ice cream at Sampaguita, which is exactly what we did on this date night!