“D’ya like dags?”
“Dags?!?”
“Yeah, dags.”
“Dags!”
“Ohhhh, dogs. Yeah, I like dags.”
(Name that movie!)
Barkhaven (https://barkhaven.com/) is a combination dog park, dog grooming facility, restaurant, and bar in Orlando’s Ivanhoe Village area at 724 Brookhaven Drive, Orlando, FL 32803. To put everyone’s minds at ease, don’t worry — there are no dogs in the dining room shedding, drooling, making noise, or trying to steal people’s food. There is a separate entrance for people to bring their dogs outside to the fenced-in dog park, but there are windows to watch dogs romp and frolic while you eat inside the restaurant, or there are outside tables separated from the dog park with a fence.
Full disclosure: we don’t have a dog. I am super-allergic to them, and I am much more of a cat person (more like I’m totally obsessed with cats and want to be best friends with every cat ever). But my wife grew up with Yorkies and one wonderful Yorkie/schnauzer mix and misses them terribly. When I recently found out Barkhaven existed, I thought she would appreciate a chance to watch some dogs make with the romping and the frolicking while enjoying lunch out after a nearby hair appointment.
The restaurant and bar area is a large, wide-open space with tables and a few half-booths up against one wall. All the food is served in disposable paper bowls and plates, with plastic utensils, which is fine with me. It’s a very casual place. The menu says they don’t use any seed oils, and they do all their frying in beef tallow, so look out, vegetarians. I don’t know when seed oils became public enemy #1 or beef tallow started being considered a healthier option, but I remain skeptical. I’m seeing this sentiment so often, I expect it’s some political agenda. Unlike the wonderful smokiness that comes from frying in reserved bacon grease, I don’t think beef tallow adds any particular flavor to foods, just kind of an oppressive heaviness. Would I end up changing my mind after this lunch at Barkhaven? Read on, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos.
My wife is obsessed with hummus, especially since our recent discovery of The Hummus Guy food truck. Aside from the dogs and the proximity to her stylist, the other reason I suggested Barkhaven was because I saw they serve hummus, and I knew she would want to try it. It’s a very nontraditional hummus, though — mixed with balsamic red peppers (I loved ’em, she didn’t), topped with crushed crispy chickpeas (not sure if they were dehydrated or fried in beef tallow?) and paprika, and served with thick-sliced cucumbers and pita chips (definitely fried in beef tallow, maybe a moment too long).

She usually likes wings, and I’ve been thinking a lot about delicious Korean-style crispy chicken wings recently. As a result, we were both intrigued by the honey mustard crunch wings, glazed with fermented honey mustard, sprinkled with green onions, and drizzled with scratch-made ranch dressing. These were meaty wings, not those tiny, sad sports bar wings I hate, but they were a little dry. The wings were suitably crispy without being breaded (there’s that beef tallow again), and as a mustard aficionado, I liked the honey mustard flavor that wasn’t too sweet like so many honey mustards that I call “dessert mustards.” My wife doesn’t like ranch and didn’t care for the ranch being drizzled on, so I ended up eating most of the wings in three separate servings, mostly back at home. 
This was definitely the best thing I tried at Barkhaven, the arayas, also known as a Lebanese burger. Rather than a traditional burger patty that might just be sprinkled with salt and possibly pepper, this beef was heavily seasoned with delicious spices, and it actually had some heat, which I enjoyed. It was stuffed into a pita and grilled to get a crispy exterior, then drizzled with garlic tahini and rosemary pineapple hot honey. It was terrific — savory, spicy, and so messy and greasy. It reminded me of a spicier, greasier, messier version of the hawawshi I enjoyed so much last summer at The Cairo Express, although that was crispier because it didn’t have any condiments or sauces on the exterior surface. 
The crunchy red cabbage slaw on the side was pleasant, even though I usually prefer the creaminess of conventional cole slaw. And I didn’t realize this arayas was going to come with fries, but I’m trying to be good and avoid fries. These were pretty conventional crinkle-cut fries, despite the beef tallow, so I wasn’t terribly tempted. I dipped a few in the ranch that came with the wings and dragged a couple through whatever tahini, honey, and meat juice dripped out of the arayas, but I left most of the fries behind and only felt a little guilty about the unexpected food waste.
Even though I’ve been eating less and eating healthier (this meal being an exception), and even though I didn’t devour all the fries, I saw Barkhaven offered onion rings, so I had to try them. I try onion rings anywhere and everywhere, since I have a recurring feature on this food blog called Ring the Alarm! These were described as “Thick-cut onions dipped in a crisp, golden beer batter and fried to perfection,” but they were not the kind that I am always delighted to find in the wild, at restaurants like The Whiskey, Christo’s, Build My Burgers, bb.q Chicken, and even Culver’s. The batter on these was dry, kind of tasteless, and had several burnt, scorched spots. Maybe it was the beef tallow. 
Barkhaven also serves wood oven pizzas, fish and chips, salads, a hot dog (natch), desserts that include deep-fried pound cake (I guess they have to put that beef tallow to use!), and a whole menu for dogs. When I saw the combination of “beef, pumpkin, and broccoli” on the menu, along with “frozen carrots,” I thought “those are certainly some choices,” until my wife pointed out that those are options for dogs. But again, the dogs would eat outside. They also have a large selection of beers, wines, cocktails, coffee, tea, and other non-alcoholic beverages, all for humans.
Once we boxed up our ample leftovers, we adjourned outside to watch the aforementioned romping and frolicking for a little while. Those good boys and girls were having a grand time, and we saw some beautiful huskies and even a rascally shiba inu. It was a nice way to decompress mentally and physically after what turned out to be a heavy meal. So that was Barkhaven. If you like dogs, drinking, and beef tallow, you’ll be in absolute heaven!




The pita sandwich is garnished with chopped salad, creamy hummus, and tahini. By the way, Guy’s pita bread is all baked from scratch, and it is smaller diameter than most store-bought pitas, but a lot thicker and fluffier. It makes for a wonderful sandwich, and those sandwiches are stuffed so full of ingredients spilling out the top, they are best enjoyed on the premises. (Don’t worry, there are a few tiny portable tables with chairs.)






My wife has been eating a lot of roasted or baked sweet potatoes at home, especially the incredible Japanese murasaki sweet potatoes they sell at Trader Joe’s. I never add any oil during the roasting process, but she likes to apply hummus and/or tahini when she eats them! She is definitely in her sweet potato and hummus era, thanks to The Hummus Guy.




I enjoyed the char-grilled tomato, onion, and jalapeno later, and I ate the orange-looking flatbread at the top, brushed with their special red sauce and lightly grilled.







At the bottom, there was Nutella, that chocolatey hazelnut spread that is beloved around the world, and thick honey with decadent clotted cream in it.





The white drink is homemade ayran, a yogurt drink similar to Indian lassi, but this was tangy and sour, rather than sweet like lassi. I would not have ordered it, but it came with the lahmacun combo, which was a pleasant surprise. I wasn’t really into it, but my wife enjoyed it, so that worked out well. Next time (and there absolutely will be a next time), I’ll try Cafe De Wan’s mint lemonade. It is the same price as the ayran ($3.99), so I wonder if they would consider substituting it in the future. I would definitely get that lahmacun combo again!
The Cairo Express is a family affair, with a pedigree of serving delicious Egyptian food in Orlando years before opening this truck. When I ordered, I noticed some uncommon menu items that I tried way back in 2019 when I reviewed an Egyptian restaurant called 



I had hawawshi for the first time at Makani back in 2019, and it was just as good there. I think the outer texture was crispier, almost like it had been fried, but this was great too.




In the bottom left, we have baba ganoush — fresh smoked eggplant puree with tahini (sesame paste), olive oil, labneh (strained yogurt thickened into a cheese-like form), mayonnaise, garlic, and lemon juice. We both love this one, but it is her absolute favorite. In the cup in the middle, we have cacik — a dip of creamy yogurt, shredded cucumber, mint, dill, and garlic, perfect for cutting spice and mellowing out rich meats. And in the bottom right, we have the old classic hummus — chick peas, tahini, olive oil, garlic and cumin.


They came on a bed of rich rice pilaf (which gets so much better with all the meat drippings soaking in) with a small salad and crunchy pickled red cabbage.

These looked darker than your average falafel, so she thought they were burned and ended up not having any after all. I ate them a few days later, so I can vouch for them not being burned and actually being delicious. I made them into two separate sandwiches (two falafels in each) on onion naan bread with homemade pickled cabbage, homemade pickled red onions, tomatoes, Istanbul Grill’s own hot sauce, and Flavortown Secret Sauce from my giant collection of condiments. I should have taken a picture of one of those, because they turned out pretty.






















The word “Zeytin” is Turkish for olive, a favorite delicacy of Chef Z, and we noted that each dip was topped with a kalamata olive. I made sure my wife ended up with all of those.







The moussaka came with a mountain of that wonderful buttery rice pilaf with orzo, which we both loved.
I was impressed that it essentially came with a whole side salad, with chopped romaine lettuce, tomatoes, red onions, cucumbers, and parsley tossed in a very light vinaigrette dressing, which you can roll up inside the lahmacun to eat, like a veggie wrap with meat on the inner wrapping. But there was so much salad, that even after eating all three lahmacun pieces with it, I was able to pack the rest in my work lunch the following Monday. (I also ate the lemon wedges like orange wedges, which is what I usually do with lemon wedges.)
*The Lichtenstein Lemonade is named for the pop artist Roy Lichtenstein, who I DESPISE, because he swiped art from underpaid and underappreciated comic book artists, blew their panels up to giant size and got them displayed in galleries, took all the credit, and got rich and famous off their artwork. Screw that guy, but if you want an artist who specializes in Lichtenstein’s mid-century retro pop art style but is a truly iconoclastic original, check out my all-time favorite comic book artist 
Since this meal, I have researched butter chicken and chicken tikka masala, 







