March 2026 – The Saboscrivner

Barkhaven

“D’ya like dags?”
“Dags?!?”
“Yeah, dags.”
“Dags!”
“Ohhhh, dogs. Yeah, I like dags.”
(Name that movie!)

Barkhaven (https://barkhaven.com/) is a combination dog park, dog grooming facility, restaurant, and bar in Orlando’s Ivanhoe Village area at 724 Brookhaven Drive, Orlando, FL 32803. To put everyone’s minds at ease, don’t worry — there are no dogs in the dining room shedding, drooling, making noise, or trying to steal people’s food. There is a separate entrance for people to bring their dogs outside to the fenced-in dog park, but there are windows to watch dogs romp and frolic while you eat inside the restaurant, or there are outside tables separated from the dog park with a fence.

Full disclosure: we don’t have a dog. I am super-allergic to them, and I am much more of a cat person (more like I’m totally obsessed with cats and want to be best friends with every cat ever). But my wife grew up with Yorkies and one wonderful Yorkie/schnauzer mix and misses them terribly. When I recently found out Barkhaven existed, I thought she would appreciate a chance to watch some dogs make with the romping and the frolicking while enjoying lunch out after a nearby hair appointment.

The restaurant and bar area is a large, wide-open space with tables and a few half-booths up against one wall. All the food is served in disposable paper bowls and plates, with plastic utensils, which is fine with me. It’s a very casual place. The menu says they don’t use any seed oils, and they do all their frying in beef tallow, so look out, vegetarians. I don’t know when seed oils became public enemy #1 or beef tallow started being considered a healthier option, but I remain skeptical. I’m seeing this sentiment so often, I expect it’s some political agenda. Unlike the wonderful smokiness that comes from frying in reserved bacon grease, I don’t think beef tallow adds any particular flavor to foods, just kind of an oppressive heaviness. Would I end up changing my mind after this lunch at Barkhaven? Read on, stalwart Saboscrivnerinos.

My wife is obsessed with hummus, especially since our recent discovery of The Hummus Guy food truck. Aside from the dogs and the proximity to her stylist, the other reason I suggested Barkhaven was because I saw they serve hummus, and I knew she would want to try it. It’s a very nontraditional hummus, though — mixed with balsamic red peppers (I loved ’em, she didn’t), topped with crushed crispy chickpeas (not sure if they were dehydrated or fried in beef tallow?) and paprika, and served with thick-sliced cucumbers and pita chips (definitely fried in beef tallow, maybe a moment too long).

She usually likes wings, and I’ve been thinking a lot about delicious Korean-style crispy chicken wings recently. As a result, we were both intrigued by the honey mustard crunch wings, glazed with fermented honey mustard, sprinkled with green onions, and drizzled with scratch-made ranch dressing. These were meaty wings, not those tiny, sad sports bar wings I hate, but they were a little dry. The wings were suitably crispy without being breaded (there’s that beef tallow again), and as a mustard aficionado, I liked the honey mustard flavor that wasn’t too sweet like so many honey mustards that I call “dessert mustards.” My wife doesn’t like ranch and didn’t care for the ranch being drizzled on, so I ended up eating most of the wings in three separate servings, mostly back at home.

This was definitely the best thing I tried at Barkhaven, the arayas, also known as a Lebanese burger. Rather than a traditional burger patty that might just be sprinkled with salt and possibly pepper, this beef was heavily seasoned with delicious spices, and it actually had some heat, which I enjoyed. It was stuffed into a pita and grilled to get a crispy exterior, then drizzled with garlic tahini and rosemary pineapple hot honey. It was terrific — savory, spicy, and so messy and greasy. It reminded me of a spicier, greasier, messier version of the hawawshi I enjoyed so much last summer at The Cairo Express, although that was crispier because it didn’t have any condiments or sauces on the exterior surface.
The crunchy red cabbage slaw on the side was pleasant, even though I usually prefer the creaminess of conventional cole slaw. And I didn’t realize this arayas was going to come with fries, but I’m trying to be good and avoid fries. These were pretty conventional crinkle-cut fries, despite the beef tallow, so I wasn’t terribly tempted. I dipped a few in the ranch that came with the wings and dragged a couple through whatever tahini, honey, and meat juice dripped out of the arayas, but I left most of the fries behind and only felt a little guilty about the unexpected food waste.

Even though I’ve been eating less and eating healthier (this meal being an exception), and even though I didn’t devour all the fries, I saw Barkhaven offered onion rings, so I had to try them. I try onion rings anywhere and everywhere, since I have a recurring feature on this food blog called Ring the Alarm! These were described as “Thick-cut onions dipped in a crisp, golden beer batter and fried to perfection,” but they were not the kind that I am always delighted to find in the wild, at restaurants like The Whiskey, Christo’s, Build My Burgers, bb.q Chicken, and even Culver’s. The batter on these was dry, kind of tasteless, and had several burnt, scorched spots. Maybe it was the beef tallow.

Barkhaven also serves wood oven pizzas, fish and chips, salads, a hot dog (natch), desserts that include deep-fried pound cake (I guess they have to put that beef tallow to use!), and a whole menu for dogs. When I saw the combination of “beef, pumpkin, and broccoli” on the menu, along with “frozen carrots,” I thought “those are certainly some choices,” until my wife pointed out that those are options for dogs. But again, the dogs would eat outside. They also have a large selection of beers, wines, cocktails, coffee, tea, and other non-alcoholic beverages, all for humans.

Once we boxed up our ample leftovers, we adjourned outside to watch the aforementioned romping and frolicking for a little while. Those good boys and girls were having a grand time, and we saw some beautiful huskies and even a rascally shiba inu. It was a nice way to decompress mentally and physically after what turned out to be a heavy meal. So that was Barkhaven. If you like dogs, drinking, and beef tallow, you’ll be in absolute heaven!

SLAP! Hand Ripped Noodles

Back in 2019, when I took my wife to New York City for our tenth anniversary, one of the many delicious restaurant meals I had was takeout from Xi’an Famous Foods, a casual restaurant specializing in hand-ripped biang biang noodles and spicy braised meats from the city of Xi’an in northwestern China. It was like no other style of Chinese food I’ve ever had before, and I’ve been saying for years that even with Orlando’s breadth and depth of various regional Chinese cuisines, we have desperately needed a place like that. Well, we finally have one!

SLAP! Hand Ripped Noodles (https://www.instagram.com/slap.noodles.usa) opened back in November 2025, at 6532 Carrier Dr Ste B, Orlando, FL 32819, right off International Drive, a little north of Sand Lake Road. It has been a popular destination ever since, with influencers aplenty sharing videos of chefs slapping and stretching dough to make perfectly long, chewy noodles from scratch and diners slurping them up. I’ve been wanting to try it ever since it opened, and I finally made it over there yesterday with my best friend, after surviving yet another MegaCon. (We went to The Whiskey two years ago and Fogo de Chao, which I somehow still haven’t reviewed, last year.)

I’ve been so good lately about not drinking my calories, but I figured our food would be spicy, so I treated myself to a sweet drink from SLAP!’s beverage cooler, this interesting-looking honey pomelo drink. After I chose it, I found a small English language label on the back that described it as honey grapefruit tea. It was so sweet and refreshing and delicious, and I loved it, especially as a nice treat after a grueling day.

It was way too hot for bowls of soup, so my friend and I both chose chili SLAP! noodle bowls, sans soup. He got the signature three-way chili SLAP! noodles, which we learned was a combination of three of their other bowls that can be ordered separately: sliced pork, tomato and egg, and vegetable (which included cubed potatoes, celery, and carrots at the bottom. They also included bok choy, bean sprouts, and lots of chili oil and chili powder. It looks fiery, but believe it or not, it was a lot milder than it looks. There were a bunch of those perfectly al dente biang biang noodles under there, don’t worry!

I got the beef short rib chili SLAP! noodles (no soup for me either), because short ribs are up there with oxtails and lamb shanks as rich, flavorful, unctuous cuts of meat I have a hard time turning down. It has the same kind of seasoning and also included bok choy (which I like) and bean sprouts (which I don’t care for, so I’ll know to ask them to hold the bean sprouts on future visits). I loved that they included a pair of kitchen shears for cutting the short rib, which I wish more restaurants would give you. A few well-placed snips separated all the tender meat from the giant bone, and a few more cuts turned it into bite-sized pieces. I got two meals out of this giant portion, which I’m getting so much better at.

I forgot to get a good picture of the actual hand-ripped biang biang noodles at the restaurant, but here they are in my leftovers, back at home. At the restaurant, we only ate with chopsticks. These noodles are awe-inspiring, and the chili seasoning is addictive. I suspect these dishes would still be too spicy for my wife, parents, brother, and in-laws, who hate anything beyond “mild,” but I think most people will find the taste pleasant and the spicy level nowhere close to overwhelming.
By the way, watch how you dress at SLAP!, because it is too easy to splatter a good shirt with that chili oil. I’ve been wearing the same beloved shirt to comic book conventions for 25 years to pose for pictures with comic writers and artists, a running gag that only I appreciate. Luckily, I had the foresight to pack an expendable T-shirt to change into when we got to the restaurant to protect The Shirt.

I was also excited to try one of the “crispy pancake” sandwiches at SLAP!, and I went with cumin lamb. Lamb is probably my favorite protein of all time (not including cured Italian meats), and I still remember the spicy cumin lamb “burger” I got at Xi’an Famous Foods in 2019. In that earlier review, I described it as being served on “a crispy flatbread bun that was like a cross between a pita and an English muffin, in terms of texture.” Here at SLAP!, the flavorful lamb was served on roujiamao, which is more like a flaky paratha or roti, a flatbread I’ve described many times as being the love child of a croissant and a flour tortilla. This roujiamao was much flakier, with more crispy layers, than the typical roti you may have had at Hawkers Asian Street Fare (which you can also buy frozen, as I suspect Hawkers does). This didn’t have that rich, buttery flavor either, but it complimented the cumin lamb very well, and it was fun to eat it.

My friend and I each took a few bites, and we still had some left over that I finished for lunch today. This was a hit, and you can also order the crispy pancakes with braised beef or braised pork. Next time! And yes, there will be a next time.

Finally, we also tried some skewers, because we know how to party, and how often will be able to make it back here? It’s across town from me, and my dude lives in Miami! Homestead, actually! All the skewers at SLAP! are served in orders of four for a very reasonable $5.99 each, but you can’t mix and match. That’s how we ended up with a dozen skewers. The four on the left are Chinese sausage, which was both of our favorites. They were grilled and coated with the same chili spice blend, but they weren’t like the chewy and slightly sweet lap cheong I expected, which I love in fried rice.

The four skewers in the middle are beef, which were also grilled and coated with the same chili spicy powder. They were chewy and not terribly tender, and not juicy at all, but at least they tasted good. The four crispy chicken skewers on the right were disappointing, though. My friend was spot-on when he called them “basic.” I’ve had spicy chicken nuggets from Wendy’s with more flavor, so at least I know to skip them on future visits. The sauce on the right side that looks like it’s about to spill (we didn’t let that happen) was reminiscent of Thai sweet chili sauce, but not nearly as sticky or sweet. That sauce and the chili spice on the left helped make the crispy chicken skewers somewhat more interesting, but I’d still order something else next time. Maybe an order of dumplings, which you can get with lamb, beef and onion, pork and cabbage, or pork, shrimp, and chive.

Vegetarians, there aren’t a ton of options for you at this meat-centric restaurant, but you can safely get the vegetable chili SLAP! noodles, vegetable noodle soup, and a couple of different skewers: enoki mushrooms with tofu skin, cilantro with tofu skin, or “fish tofu,” which I’m assuming is tofu reminiscent of fish, and and not a combination of fish and tofu. If you are ovo-vegetarians, you could also do the tomato and egg chili SLAP! noodles or tomato and egg noodle soup.

And since I always check (on behalf of my wife), there are a few half-booths along the side wall at SLAP!, in addition to plenty of tables. Napkin dispensers hang from the ceiling above each table, which you’ll appreciate due to needing a lot of napkins for meals like this, and also for the space they save on the tabletops. (Short people, your mileage may vary).

SLAP! Hand Ripped Noodles is definitely worth all the hype. I would have liked to get there sooner, but better late than never. Now I look forward to returning, but I wanted to publish this review as soon as possible, for the handful of you out there who haven’t already jumped on the bandwagon. It’s another treasure for Orlando, especially when the options along International Drive are so chain-centric. As if there was any doubt, SLAP! slaps.

JAWS Toppoki

JAWS Toppoki (https://www.jawsfl.com/) is a Korean street food restaurant in the hustling, bustling food court inside the world’s largest H Mart, the Korean supermarket that took Orlando by storm when it opened in the Pine Hills neighborhood in West Orlando in September 2025.

My wife and I waited three weeks before visiting the sprawling supermarket, not wanting to deal with long lines and crazy crowds. But even though we chose to visit on a weekday midmorning, the lines were still long and the crowds were still crazy. H Mart was a shining example of abundance, but the cramped layout and oblivious shoppers (half of whom were filming themselves, like everyone has to be an influencer) detracted from what should have been a fun experience. Pushing my disabled wife in a wheelchair was an exhausting and nerve-wracking experience for both of us. It could be said that shopping was not a pleasure.

After we were both fed up and hangry, we adjourned to the huge food court, which was just as chaotic as inside the store itself. My wife wanted to eat some sashimi we bought inside H Mart, so I rolled her up to an empty table and went off to decide what to get myself for lunch.

Feeling overstimulated and overwhelmed, I decided on JAWS Toppoki, maybe because it was nearest to our table, or maybe because it had the shortest line. I liked that you could order different combinations of things, which I always appreciate at any restaurant, especially when a lot of the food is unfamiliar. I am getting more of a Korean food education, especially because I stay in Koreatown on my occasional short work trips to Los Angeles. But I looked forward to trying JAWS Toppoki’s take on various popular street foods.

I have had a never-ending tuna craving, so I ordered tuna gimbap to start with. Gimbap looks superficially similar to a sushi roll: various ingredients rolled and wrapped in sesame oil-seasoned rice and a layer of dried seaweed — very similar to Japanese nori — and then sliced. The tuna gimbap included a mayo-based tuna salad, finely shredded carrots, cucumbers, sesame leaf, and sesame seeds. It was a fine little snack, but I couldn’t complain about getting too much tuna. If anything, it was too much carrot and not enough tuna! This gimbap didn’t quite scratch the tuna salad itch I’ve had since having the best tuna sandwich ever on my last trip to Los Angeles, which also included some Korean flavors.

Since our H-Mart visit was annoying and I didn’t expect to return anytime soon, I figured I would order a few different things for the sake of variety, end up with plenty of leftovers, and probably not bother to come back. So I got one of the combo meals called the “Friends Set.” It included a large metal bowl of JAWS toppoki, the restaurant’s namesake dish. Korean restaurants usually list this dish as tteokbokki, but it is pronounced similarly to “toppoki,” hence the name.
The long noodle-looking things are chewy rice cakes, and I assure you they are nothing like the bland, crunchy, hockey pucks our moms ate in the ’80s when they wanted to lose weight, even though those food crimes are what first comes to mind when I think of “rice cakes.” These are chewier than gnocchi or any al dente pasta, and denser as well. They are swimming in a very spicy sauce with thin slices of tofu, and the whole bowl is topped with crispy strips of something or other, sesame seeds, scallions, a quail egg, and half of a fried dumpling called mandu.

The “Friends Set” also came with a paper bag of tempura-fried sweet potato, shrimp, squid, cheese, and another dumpling. I forgot to take a picture of it, but you can see what the “Deep Fried Set” looks like on the menu.

Finally, it came with sundae, but not the kind you’d get at Carvel on your birthday! Sundae is a chewy, savory Korean blood sausage, and this was my favorite part of the meal. Call it morcilla, black pudding, or just plain old blood sausage, I am always a fan of this savory treat, even if it may seem weird or intimidating to the uninitiated. Maybe I have a bit of of Goth in me, but I think it is always delicious, no matter which culture or cuisine makes it. Korean sundae (which I believe is pronounced “SOON-day”) is made with pork blood, glass noodles, and glutinous rice, and it had a moist, almost sticky texture, especially with the chewy natural casing. Sprinkling on the included mixture of salt spiked with dried chili flakes made it even more flavorful. The thinly sliced, light-colored meat in the top right of the sundae tray is intestine, but I’m not sure if it was beef or pork. I ate it, and it was fine, but I’ve enjoyed grilled intestines at Argentinian and Korean restaurants before that ended up with a more pleasant crispy texture from the grilling process.

I don’t think I’ll return to JAWS Toppoki anytime soon, but that’s mostly because I have no desire to return to H Mart anytime soon. It is probably worth visiting once if you’re the least bit curious, but even though it’s a really nice Asian supermarket, Orlando is very lucky to have many other nice Asian supermarkets, and none of them are as crowded and chaotic. Lotte Plaza Market has a (much smaller) food court, but was probably the largest and “nicest” before H Mart opened. My usual go-to, iFresh Market, is the current home of the wonderful Meng’s Kitchen. And then we also have Enson Market, New Golden Sparkling Market, Phuoc Loc Tho (my first-ever Asian market from when I first moved to Orlando in 2004), the “OG” Dong A Market, Eastside Market, and even more.

And even if you’re craving Korean street food, we have plenty of other local restaurants where you won’t have to navigate that intense, insane food court.

The Hummus Guy

The Hummus Guy (https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572949094121) is a Middle Eastern food truck that sets up at 711 North Orlando Avenue (also known as 17-92), Maitland, Florida 32751, outside of a bank building. The truck’s usual hours are noon to 7 PM, every day except Monday and Saturday, but always check their Facebook page for updates, just in case. A friend of mine has been singing its praises for a while, but I finally tried it in January, and I’ve been back many times since that first discovery — almost weekly!
The Hummus Guy isn’t just a generic description, but the owner-operator’s name is Guy and he makes he best hummus ever… as well as the best of so many other things. Buckle yourselves in for this one, constant readers! You’re about to discover one of my new favorite places to eat in the entire Orlando area.

I had taken large, clear photos of the menu to share, but Guy recently posted a new, updated menu online, so I’m using his own posted images instead. These are all the pita sandwich and plate (bowl) options:

Here are all the “extras” — a la carte orders that aren’t sandwiches or bowls.

The first time I visited the truck was a pretty cold January evening. While I waited for my food, Guy was kind enough to give me a free sample of four freshly rolled, freshly fried falafel balls with a pool of the smoothest, creamiest tahini (sesame paste) ever. These were so delicious, with the perfect crispy crunch, soft and yielding centers, and not greasy at all. Best falafel ever? Certainly the best falafel I’ve ever had anywhere, and my falafel-loving wife would soon agree.

This is the crown jewel, the chicken shawarma pita sandwich. I’ve been on a shawarma kick lately, discovering a great grilled beef shawarma at The Cairo Express Egyptian food truck in Winter Park last summer, as well as a few lesser shawarmas. But this is the absolute best chicken shawarma I’ve ever had in my life. Best chicken shawarma in the world? I can’t answer that, but I would certainly support it in a shawarma-off. So delicious, so flavorful, so tender. It’s addictive. We have since ordered it so many times, and it is never dry. So many shawarmas are disappointingly dry!The pita sandwich is garnished with chopped salad, creamy hummus, and tahini. By the way, Guy’s pita bread is all baked from scratch, and it is smaller diameter than most store-bought pitas, but a lot thicker and fluffier. It makes for a wonderful sandwich, and those sandwiches are stuffed so full of ingredients spilling out the top, they are best enjoyed on the premises. (Don’t worry, there are a few tiny portable tables with chairs.)

This is one of the many chicken shawarma plates I’ve brought home over the past two months. This one is served on a bed of addictive, savory mujjadara, buttery rice sauteed with lentils and a healthy amount of caramelized onions. As a caramelized onion lover, I love this mujjadara, and I appreciate that Guy goes HARD on the onions. Even my wife, who usually hates onions in anything, likes this stuff.

On a later visit, I brought home an order of the best chicken shawarma ever, which came with a simple side of tahini. This was a HUGE portion, and while I probably could have devoured it in one sitting, my wife and I spaced it out and made it last a few days, since I am consciously trying to eat less, eat healthier, and lose weight (believe it or not).

Here is a falafel plate I brought home for my wife on one of my many recent visits, on another bed of that insanely good mujjadara. That’s hummus on the side, topped with some of Guy’s spicy sechug sauce, made with fresh herbs (I’m guessing cilantro and parsley) and jalapenos. I’ve bought the Trader Joe’s version before (they spell it “zhoug” and describe it as a spicy condiment from Yemen), but Guy’s version is lighter, thinner, and less oily than Trader Joe’s and reminds me of a spicy tomatillo salsa.

More recently, my wife requested a simple order of falafel, not as part of a plate. We got a lot of balls!

(Seriously, these orders usually include 12 or 13.)

Something my wife and I discovered over a recent breakfast at the new Turkish restaurant Cafe De Wan in Casselberry is that you can add a thick, syrupy, sweet grape molasses called pekmez to tahini, and it becomes like the Turkish version of peanut butter and jelly. I bought a big jar of pekmez at Global Bazaar, a Turkish grocery store, and sometimes she will dab a little into the side cups of The Hummus Guy’s tahini for a uniquely sweet treat.

This is Guy’s chicken schnitzel, thin chicken tenders that are breaded and fried to perfection, also over mujjadara. They are great too, don’t get me wrong, but if I come here for chicken, I’m going to stick to the chicken shawarma and leave the chicken tenders to my beloved Chicken Fire. But the chicken schnitzel had a lot of flavor and has never been greasy, dry, or burnt. With so many restaurants serving and even specializing in chicken tenders, a lot of them half-ass it, but not Guy! This is a man who takes so much pride in his product, you can tell. It is refreshing, and the side of hummus topped with more spicy sechug sauce is even more refreshing.

This is the sabich pita sandwich, which would have looked a lot prettier if I ate it on premises instead of having Guy wrap it up to go. It is a sandwich of baked eggplant, a brown boiled egg, chopped salad, fresh herbs, amba sauce (made of mangoes and pickles), and tahini. It tasted better than this photo looks, I swear. Next time I’ll get one and eat it while I wait for the rest of my to-go order.

Likewise, the kebab pita sandwich from my third visit, with two grilled beef patties mixed with herbs and spices, would have looked a lot nicer if I ate it while hanging out at one of the tiny tables set up outside the truck. There were tomatoes and scallions in this sandwich, along with the hummus and tahini. I asked for some of the amba sauce in this one too, once I found out what it actually was. I love the intense sweetness and tartness of mango, and I always think something acidic is the missing ingredient in most dishes that brings them from good to great.

This is one of the many 16-ounce containers of hummus I’ve brought home, because it is such a rich, creamy, tasty hummus. None of the premade commercial brands at the supermarket can compare. It comes topped with parsley, a little olive oil, and that spicy sechug sauce. My wife has been eating a lot of roasted or baked sweet potatoes at home, especially the incredible Japanese murasaki sweet potatoes they sell at Trader Joe’s. I never add any oil during the roasting process, but she likes to apply hummus and/or tahini when she eats them! She is definitely in her sweet potato and hummus era, thanks to The Hummus Guy.

This is Guy’s babaganush, roasted eggplant with tahini and garlic. It can be used as a spread or a dip, and it is one of my wife’s favorite things in the world to eat, so we try it everywhere. This babaganush is somewhat more tahini-forward than others we’ve tried, where you taste more of a smoky flavor from the roasted eggplant.

To fully compare and contrast, I also ordered the eggplant mayo salad, which is roasted eggplant with mayonnaise instead of tahini, as well as the requisite garlic. I’m not quite as into tahini as my wife, but I am a sucker for mayo-based deli salads (macaroni, potato, egg, tuna, chicken, cole slaw), and I honestly liked this one better than the babaganush.

The Hummus Guy has become a new Friday evening tradition for us, since he is not there on Saturdays. He closes at 7 PM, so I try to make it over there in the last hour he’s open. We’ve been going through a 16-ounce container of his hummus each week, in addition to whatever else I bring home. Guy is a stand-up guy, so friendly and welcoming, and his food is second to none in the Orlando area. He’s always busy, so people are definitely discovering his amazing food and spreading the word, and now it’s my turn to do so. Guy’s wife Abbie, who was so patient with me when I first texted to find out their location and hours, is a lovely person too. Try their food soon — the shawarma, the mujjadara, the falafel, the hummus, the tahini, the fresh-baked pita bread — and I promise you won’t regret it!