Fries – Page 2 – The Saboscrivner

Cow & Cheese

I am thrilled to report that Cow & Cheese (https://www.facebook.com/cowandcheese), Orlando’s newest burger establishment, officially opened TODAY (Friday, December 1st) in Maitland, and it is GOOD. People, I have been waiting over a year to write this review! If you like your burgers smashed on the flattop grill, full of flavor, with crispy edges, melted cheese, and deeply caramelized onions, this is the place for you. I am a convert to smash-style burgers, and this is one of the best I’ve ever tried anywhere, not just in the Orlando area.

Cow & Cheese is the latest restaurant in the growing empire of Kwame Boakye, the owner-operator of the beloved Chicken Fire in Orlando’s Milk District (a personal favorite of mine since his earliest food truck days) and That Wing Spot south of downtown Orlando. Now open in a convenient location along Highway 17-92 in Maitland, Kwame is keeping his latest menu simple, with four burger variations, crinkle-cut fries, and Stubborn brand craft sodas.

Here’s a shot of the menu, above the counter where you place your order on a touch-screen. If it is too small to read, right-click the image below and open it in a new tab for a larger photo.

But first, I need to flash back a little over a year. Kwame first previewed Cow & Cheese in a series of three pop-up events at his Chicken Fire restaurant back in 2022, and I was lucky to be able to attend one of them, last August. I ordered The Doc ($9), an Oklahoma-style burger, featuring “thinly sliced onions smashed into two angus beef patties, each topped with premium American cheese, CC sauce, and deeply caramelized onions, all on a fresh baked toasted brioche bun.” That’s poetry to my ears and to my soul, and the actual Doc burger was poetry to my mouth:It looks messy, because it IS messy. But I like a lot of stuff on my burgers, specifically melty American cheese, cooked onions (so much more pleasant than raw onions), and a nice sauce or condiment to bring it all together. I’ve had dry, bland, sad smash-style burgers that taste like burning, but this one definitely tasted like high quality beef, done well but not “well done,” and it had a nice texture from the edges crisping up. All the ingredients harmonized together to make a damn tasty burger, and I hoped against hope that Kwame would open Cow & Cheese in a permanent location sooner rather than later.

These were the crinkle-cut fries, which you can never go wrong with. I got a little ramekin of creamy, zingy CC sauce (a little thinner and not quite as tangy as the delightful soul sauce from Chicken Fire) to dip them in.

And for those of you who don’t like your burgers covered with stuff, you are not alone. My wife is the exact same way, but don’t worry — the staff at the Cow & Cheese pop-up made her a plain burger, which she devoured with gusto, along with those fries (still hot even after getting them home). Long-time Saboscrivner subscribers may recognize our green placemats, which we’ve had since 2009. I can’t stand them, because they have teeny tiny holes all over them, so they do absolutely nothing to protect our table from crumbs, spills, and stains. Thanks for nothing, Crate and Barrel!

But I digress. Fast-forwarding back to this past week, Kwame contacted me on Facebook and invited me to a special Friends and Family preview evening at Cow & Cheese, a few days before Friday’s grand opening to the general public. This was a way for his staff to get comfortable with the cooking and serving processes for a forgiving crowd, but they were all extremely friendly, welcoming, and at the top of their game with customer service. Just like at Chicken Fire, the food is great, but Kwame and his crew always make me feel valued. Not every local restaurant does this, but it sure makes a difference!

As a result, I must now make a disclaimer that all the food I received at the Friends and Family preview was complimentary. I did not pay for anything in the next part of this review, nor was I asked to write a good review in exchange for the free food. I am writing a good review because the food was absolutely delicious, and it is a terrific value, especially for the Maitland area. And yes, in case you were wondering, I will absolutely return. But even more than the stellar burgers (which are some of the best in the Orlando area), I think the world of Kwame Boakye and want to support him any way I can. He is a skilled entrepreneur and talented chef who treats all people the way he would want to be treated, from his own staff to a bald, bearded, bearlike blogger who went crazy for his spicy chicken back in 2019 and became a semi-regular customer ever since. The dude always recognizes me, even when I show up in an N95 mask, even when months have passed since my last visit! I get the distinct impression he remembers all his customers. That’s the kind of guy he is — a good man doing a great job in a very hard business. I could not be happier to see him succeed, nor to help boost the signal for him in my own small way. Good things don’t happen to good people nearly often enough.

Anyway, gushing aside, here is the aforementioned Stubborn soda fountain, so we have moved on to more gushing. I happen to like the root beer, the pineapple cream soda, and the agave vanilla cream soda. At the preview, I sipped on those three flavors as I waited for my orders to be ready. Separately, not together, I should add, but you may want to play soda jerk chemist and mix them together to create your own crazy combinations.

I returned to my old favorite cheeseburger from the pop-up, The Doc (still making it funky enough!), which I chowed down on, hot and fresh, in the restaurant. By the way, those crispy edges on the meat are due to a chemical process called the Maillard reaction that gives browned foods like grilled meats, toasted bread, roasted vegetables, caramelized onions, and even coffee their distinctive, delicious flavors. You need to start out with dry raw ingredients (pat your meat dry) and very high temperatures, and the proteins and sugars will go buck wild and make things taste like heaven. As always, Serious Eats does a much better job explaining the science behind the Maillard reaction better than I can, so give it a read. SCIENCE! And it works so well, because these burger patties had lacy, delicate, crispy corners and edges that added to the melange of flavors and textures. It makes such a difference that the fresh brioche buns are lightly toasted on the same cooking surface, for that extra crispy firmness to hold up against the CC sauce and other toppings. On this Doc burger, I also requested kosher dill pickle chips (slices, not pickle-flavored potato chips), which were fine, but I thought they were unnecessary. I prefer pickles with Kwame’s incendiary hot chicken at Chicken Fire, dulling the burn with their cool, sour saltiness, but that’s just me, and I could be wrong.

Unfortunately the fryer was malfunctioning on the Friends and Family Night, or you can bet I would have gotten another order of those crinkle-cut fries, this time topped with beer cheese, CC sauce, and caramelized onions, almost like the legendary Animal Style fries at California’s cult fast food chain, In-N-Out Burger. (I happen to love In-N-Out, but it isn’t nearly as good as this singular, locally owned and operated restaurant.) I’ll just have to come back for the fries, which won’t take me long.

Kwame insisted I don’t leave empty-handed on that memorable evening, so I brought home another Doc and a Triple Cow x Triple Cheese. Both burgers normally cost $9 each, and the major difference is that the Doc is only two burger patties and the Triple Cow is three, but the Doc has the onions pressed into the cooking meat, while the Triple Cow doesn’t. If you are torn, you can always order the Triple Cow x Triple Cheese and pay the reasonable $2.50 upcharge for deeply caramelized onions on it. Those onions make such a difference, taking something already brilliant to the next level. That’s probably what I will do on future visits. And if you’ve ever tried caramelizing onions at home, you know it takes a stupidly long time for the Maillard reaction to occur — far longer than most recipes are willing to admit! You might as well leave it to the professionals and enjoy their hard work and patience.
Somehow, I ate one of these that same night, of course standing up over my kitchen counter, and wolfed the other one down the following day. It was just as good, by the way.

I can’t say enough good things about Cow & Cheese or its owner, Kwame Boakye, and not just because he invited me to the Friends and Family preview. As you can see, these burgers and fries are well worth the extremely reasonable prices. Maitland is a lot closer to us than Chicken Fire, out on the corner of East Colonial and Bumby, so I’m sure I will make the trek semi-regularly, whenever we feel like tasty burgers that have undergone the Maillard reaction. There are a few burger chains that specialize in these same smash-style burgers, including a popular national chain just down the road from Cow & Cheese, in Winter Park. You’ve probably tried it before, especially if you’re hanging on my every word in this review. It rhymes with “Snake Wack.” Don’t even bother returning to “Snake Wack” for your next burger and fries craving. Instead, support a brand-new, one-of-a-kind, Black-owned local business where the food is even better, and where the owner will probably remember your name and face with every visit and make you feel like a friend.

Primrose Lanes

This may be the most predictable review I have written for The Saboscrivner food blog in a long time, probably because this particular restaurant is the talk of the town right now. Orlando-based foodie social media has gone gaga (or gone to the dogs, if you will) discussing, debating, and deconstructing the $15 hot dog from Primrose Lanes (https://www.primroselanes.com/), the new restaurant and bar from former Luke’s Kitchen and Bar Executive Chef Jason Campbell. I will say that if you haven’t heard about this hot dog, then congratulations — you haven’t been spending much time online, and that is laudable. But if you are familiar with Orlando’s latest obsession, sometimes things that get a lot of hype have earned it and deserve it, and this fabulous, fantastic, first-class, fine freakin’ frankfurter definitely lives up to the hype, hoopla, hubbub, and hysteria.

But Primrose Lanes is not just some hot dog hut. It used to be the bowling alley Colonial Lanes, founded in 1959. It was sold and set to become yet another self-storage facility, and the owners even started ripping apart the bowling lanes. Then the Team Market Group bought the building, refurbished the eight remaining lanes, and worked with Chef Campbell to create a dining and drinking destination far beyond what you would expect from “bowling alley food.” Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the pastrami sandwich and house-made potato chips at Brooklyn South Bar at Aloma Bowl, but this is a legit gastropub — a true culinary experience that is far better than anything you’re envisioning. It may not be the cheapest meal in Orlando (although plenty are way more expensive), but as someone who seeks out bargains and hates feeling ripped off, you will definitely get what you pay for at Primrose Lanes, and you’ll leave the restaurant feeling like you just bowled a perfect game.

On my first visit to Primrose Lanes, I went alone and sat on a high-top stool along a beautiful polished wood countertop. I believe a lot of the wood in the restaurant was salvaged from the 24 original bowling lanes that had been destroyed. The restaurant and bar area is a beautiful space, both modern and retro at the same time, with a big glass window overlooking the eight bowling lanes.

I started out with the “Funyun” fried onions, because I review onion rings wherever I find them on menus with a special notice longtime readers know as “RING THE ALARM!” Of course I’m more about the concept of fried onions than the classic ring shape, so I am not a stickler for literal onion rings every time. These fried onions were unlike any other fried onions I’ve ever had, with thin stems serving as handles to hoist the thick, rounded bulbs and dip them into creamy comeback sauce. For a guy who eats a lot of chips and other salty snacks (and reviews them in my recurring Tight Chips features right here on this blog), I almost never eat Funyuns, those vaguely onion-flavored corn snacks, but they made a very interesting coating for these very real onions.

The O.K.C. smashburger was a magnificent double-decker monster, extremely juicy despite the two patties being smashed flat on the flattop grill (hence the name). I always liked thicc burgers (R.I.P. Fuddruckers) and bemoaned the smashburger trend, worried that everyone would be serving dried-out, overpriced hockey pucks. But smashburgers like this one have won me over and give me hope for the future.

This O.K.C. smashburger was dressed with American cheese (still the best burger cheese), mayo, thin slices of delicious house-made pickles, and lots and lots of thin strands of fried onions, which really make a burger for me. Dating back to the Great Depression, Oklahoma-style burger patties are pressed into super-thin strips or slices of onion, which then cook in the heat and the meat juices. It was served on a brioche kaiser roll baked by the Olde Hearth Bread Company, which provides baked goods (no baked bads, ever) to many of the best restaurants in the Orlando area. Even without ketchup, it was a winning burger through and through.

And what about this bougie $15 hot dog? Well, like I said, it surpasses the hype, and anyone who has tried it will probably agree. I rarely order hot dogs when I’m out on the town, because you can pay $7 or $8 for a pack of good-quality Sabretts or all-beef Boar’s Head dogs in the natural casing, so why would you pay that for a single hot dog? But I’m glad I recently treated myself to the brilliant Detroit coney dog at SoDough Square, and I thought I had discovered the best hot dog in Orlando then. It is great, no doubt about it, but Chef Campbell’s hot dog is a triumphant treasure in every possible way.

It is house-made, and I don’t know who else around here goes to the significant effort of making their own hot dogs. It has such a fantastic snap, the way the best hot dogs and sausages do, and I had to close my eyes to savor every bite. In a recent article by Orlando Sentinel food writer (and mah friend) Amy Drew Thompson, Chef Campbell said the hot dogs are made with “Certified Angus. Ribeye, short rib, brisket and chuck in a lamb casing,” and then smoked. That lamb casing is what gives it the satisfying snap, and if you don’t know what I’m talking about, then you need to treat yourself to a higher standard of hot dogs, my dudes. The tangy, zingy relish is house-made too, but I don’t know if the buttery grilled bun is from Olde Hearth Bread Company or baked in-house. The pickle spear next to the burger and the hot dog were delicious too, much to nobody’s surprise. I have no doubt they were also made in-house by Chef Campbell and his team.

Oh yeah, I had heard you could get it topped with smoked trout caviar for an extra $5, and I said “Yes, let’s do that thing.” It added an extra level of decadence to the best hot dog ever (to say nothing of additional salt and smokiness), and I have no regrets. Hey, I’m eating at home more than ever now that I have a remote job, and this was my first trip out of the house in several days, so I felt like living large! WHAT?

Anyway, when I picked up my wife a little later after enjoying that epic meal, she was really hungry and wanted to go to one of her favorite spots for chicken tenders. I was raving about the meal I had enjoyed earlier, and I told her Primrose Lanes had chicken tenders too, as well as a Shirley Temple made with house-made grenadine syrup. I thought for sure she would say “Let’s try it some other time,” but instead she said “That sounds really great, and we’re close, and I’m hungry. Would you mind going back the same day?” And I said “Hell yeah, girl,” and back I went, fewer than two hours later!

She loves Shirley Temples, so she ordered that, and I ordered a lemonade that was nice and cold and tart and refreshing, and not too sweet. She said her Shirley wasn’t as sweet as most, which probably use all kinds of artificially flavored grenadine syrups, possibly bolstered with high fructose corn syrup. She said it was almost “savory,” but I tried a sip and can tell you it wasn’t necessarily savory, but definitely not cloyingly candy-sweet like most. It was also garnished with a dark cherry that definitely wasn’t a bright red maraschino, but maybe an amarena or Luxardo cherry.

She ordered the chicken tendies [sp], which came out darker than either of us expected. I asked if they were burned, and our lovely, patient server Claire, who took care of me on both back to back visits, said they all look like that. The tendies (I still can’t get used to that) came with a ranch dip seasoned with dill and “sha’bang sauce” that was thick and spicy — not exactly buffalo or sriracha, but they could have been involved — with tiny bits of sliced orange in it.

We also shared hash brown bites, perfect potato cubes that were crispy on the outside and soft and yielding inside, dressed with garlic crema and topped with more of that smoked trout caviar. These would be a terrific appetizer to order with any meal, unless you are a vegetarian, and then they could easily hold the trout roe for you. They reminded me of LEGO blocks, the way they were stacked so nicely.

One of the biggest hits of my wife’s first visit to Primrose Lanes and my second was the tuna tartare (her choice), a refreshing portion of diced raw tuna with avocado, spicy mayo, lightly pickled cucumber slices (so good!), sprinkled with regular and black sesame seeds and accompanied by what had to be fried Saltine crackers.

This dish knocked my wife’s socks off. Every ingredient, every taste, every texture worked in perfect harmony. It was my favorite part of my second visit, after all the heavy stuff I ate not that much earlier in the day. It was so cool and creamy and crispy and piquant, especially since I love spicy tuna rolls and poke bowls so much. She was in love with the fried Saltines, which had some kind of mysterious seasoning on them too, and I couldn’t believe nobody else had ever done that before.

And because my wife loves soft serve ice cream, she ordered vanilla soft serve for dessert (because they were out of chocolate) and got it topped with fudge sauce. While I thought the smashburger, the hot dog, and the tuna tartare could not be beat, this was her overall favorite. She looked pensive after the first bite, engrossed in thought, consumed as she consumed it. Her eyes rolled back in her head. She said she had never had soft serve ice cream this good; nothing else had ever come close. She used the word “orgasmic.” Ladies and gentlemen, you heard it here first.

I could usually do without soft serve ice cream — it tends to be kind of bland and tasteless for me, and rarely tastes like vanilla so much as some kind of plain whiteness. But upon her urging, I tried it, and it was as inspired as the rest of the food on this menu, so far above and beyond what most people might expect, so much better than it even needed to be.

This is the exact kind of restaurant I love to review on my blog. There are countless restaurants where you can get a decent-to-good meal, and if you pay enough money, you’re bound to get something above-average. But I especially love finding good or great food where you don’t expect it, whether it’s a nondescript food truck or trailer or a restaurant inside a place where you wouldn’t go looking for one, and especially wouldn’t dream of finding a good one. I’d say an excellent restaurant in a bowling alley counts for that, even though Primrose Lanes is more of a restaurant and bar with eight really cool bowling lanes than a bowling alley with that serves food.

I don’t mind admitting that I’m a pretty rotten bowler. Because I suck so much, I don’t particularly enjoy bowling, so I don’t do it, and that means I never improve. But if you ever go out for a trivia night with me, you will see me kick all kinds of ass and be impressed, then maybe a little scared, then annoyed, then bored, and then probably round the corner to impressed all over again. And if you ever join me for karaoke, you will find that I am not a particularly good singer, but I will do my damn best and cheer like crazy for my friends who are doing their damn best along with me. Unfortunately, I have yet to find ridiculously elevated food like this at any local trivia or karaoke spots, nor do I have many friends who are ever up for that kind of thing.

The good news about Primrose Lanes is that you don’t have to bowl at all. Plenty of people go just for the food, and you can too. But if you like to eat and bowl, then my stalwart Saboscrivnerinos, this needs to be your next night out with the ladies or the fellas, or your next hot date. Everyone will love it. But if you’re trying to corral 15 or 20 small kids for a bowling birthday party, I would advise against schlepping the little dudes to Primrose Lanes. Children are certainly welcome, but I’d say it is more of a place for adults to have fun. And as a non-kid-haver who ate there twice in one day, adults will likely have more fun there without kids… unless your kids are really cool.

Eat My Conch

I haven’t checked out any new local food trucks in a while, but I passed the new Eat My Conch Brewery & Eatery trailer two weekends in a row at a Shell gas station at 7095 S. U.S. Hwy 17-92, in front of the Fern Park Lowe’s, and I finally had to stop there yesterday.

Devia and Nyesha, the mother-and-daughter team behind Eat My Conch (https://www.facebook.com/eatmyconch/) briefly had a restaurant in Longwood that one of my friends and food writer role models, Amy Drew Thompson of the Orlando Sentinel, reviewed in December 2022. I always trust her judgment, so between her glowing review and the praise from a co-worker who went after I recommended it (despite never having visited myself), I was sad when the brick and mortar location closed before I had a chance to try it. This truck was my chance, and it was totally worth the wait.

Eat My Conch serves Bahamian food, like from the Bahamas. I am pleased to report (and even more pleased that I came up with this) that the delicious food is like a Bahamian rhapsody for your taste buds and your soul. I ordered three dishes to take home to share with my wife, but they have a lot to choose from.
By the way, for anyone who might not know, conch is a kind of marine mollusk (a snail), so I appreciated the unintended pun of Eat My Conch setting up at the Shell station.

Without hesitation, I ordered conch fritters ($16). You can’t go to a place with “Conch” in the name and not try the conch fritters, and they were so good. These golden-brown spheres are kind of like hush puppies, but so much better. If you know, you know. (That’s what my students would say, anyway.) They had perfect crispy outsides protecting, fluffy-soft interiors with bits of tender, chewy conch, and they were seasoned extremely well without being too spicy for my spice-averse wife to handle. They went very well with the creamy, slightly tangy mayo-based dipping sauce.

My wife was also curious about Chicken N. D. Bag ($15), which sounds like a cartoon about a coward and a jerk, but instead it’s a hearty plate of perfectly fried chicken wings over really great fries, topped with thinly sliced onions. The purpose of the onions is to steam over the in the paper bag, which added the slightest oniony essence to everything over my short drive home. The fries had the lightest batter coating, which I always love, and despite not devouring them on site and even having them steam in the paper bag, they were still crispy and hot when we tore it open back at home. The breading on the chicken wings stayed crispy too, which is always nice.

I’m assuming it was the Chicken N. D. Bag that came with this really good, creamy cole slaw with sweet, chewy, tangy Craisins, and not the conch fritters. But I’m always happy to find mystery cole slaw!

The thing I was looking forward to trying the most ended up being both of our favorite: cool, refreshing conch salad ($16), with finely diced conch, tomato, onion, jalapeno pepper, mango, pineapple, and apple. The fruit was a $3 upcharge, but I love sweet and fruity and spicy and savory flavors together, and I knew it would be well worth it. I definitely got dehydrated yesterday, first after spending half my Saturday at work and not eating or drinking anything, and then waiting outside in the humidity while my order was being prepared from scratch. As tasty as the fried items were, I enjoyed that cool conch salad the most.

I’ve never been to the Bahamas or anywhere in the Caribbean, but I have been assured the food at Eat My Conch is as authentic as it is tasty. I can believe it. Everything is made fresh to order, so don’t expect, dry, greasy conch fritters or wings that have been sitting around under heat lamps. Since I wasn’t sure what the menu would include, I didn’t bother trying to call ahead, so I had to wait a while for my food. But this isn’t a complaint, just a description! It was totally worth the wait, but you may want to be wary if you’re in a hurry, especially if there is a line ahead of you. That conch salad totally hit the spot, and everything else was really good too. I hope you give them a try and enjoy your Bahamian rhapsody too, and I assure you it is real life, not just fantasy.

Chain Reactions: Culver’s

Culver’s (https://www.culvers.com/) is a fast food chain that was founded in in Sauk City, Wisconsin, in 1984. I tried it on a short trip to Wisconsin over 20 years ago, to visit the weird, wonderful, and uniquely American roadside attraction The House on the Rock in Spring Green, Wisconsin. Now we have multiple Culver’s locations across Central Florida, and since I am obsessed with regional restaurants and food trends, I appreciate having more options to choose from, chains or not.

Culver’s is famous for its frozen custard, “ButterBurgers,” and breaded, fried cheese curds. But even though the ButterBurgers are above average fast food burgers, my wife and I usually return when we’re in the mood for delicious fish, hand-battered and deep-fried. Culver’s has the best fried fish of any fast food restaurants, and better than a surprising amount of seafood restaurants and Irish and British pubs we’ve been to.

Specifically, they serve North Atlantic cod, which you can get as a sandwich or as a dinner with two or three pieces of fish. Sometimes my wife and I will split a three-piece North Atlantic cod dinner, which comes with fries, cole slaw, and a roll, but you can select two sides of your choice if you don’t want fries (standard crinkle-cut fries) or cole slaw. Ring the Alarm! Culver’s has excellent onion rings, with beer batter coating similar to the battered cod filets. They are my favorite fast food onion rings. They are considered a Premium side, so you have to pay a small upcharge for them. DO IT!

Here’s a close-up of the battered fish from a different visit. It will make you say “Oh my cod!”

As great as the Atlantic cod is (and it is), Culver’s brings out a different battered, fried fish once a year for a limited time: Canadian Northwoods walleye, which is a very light, buttery fish. Even though this sandwich is $7.99, which seems expensive for fast food, it is worth every penny. I added the creamy, crunchy cole slaw on top of the sandwich, too:By the way, the Culver’s website says the tartar sauce includes olives, capers and sweet relish! I would not have guessed olives or capers, but they list the ingredients right on the peel-off lid of the little dipping cup.

That walleye doesn’t look that different from the cod, but trust me, you could tell the difference in a taste test. The sandwich comes with a bit of lettuce and tartar sauce underneath the fish, and the bun is buttered and lightly grilled like all Culver’s sandwich buns. That’s always a nice touch.

I already said that I think the ButterBurgers are just okay, but Culver’s amazed and astonished when they came out with this limited-time special: the “Curderburger.” It is exactly what you think — a burger served on the typical bun (buttered and lightly grilled, thank you very much), topped with a “cheese crown.” Yes, that is a giant breaded and fried cheese curd patty, and it’s the stuff that dreams are made of. (Because “SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF CHEESE!”)

Here’s a cross-section, with melty, molten cheddar cheese curd leaking out of the fried patty on top of the burger. You probably shouldn’t eat more than one of these a year, or the Curderburger could become a Murderburger. Luckily, it is a limited-time menu item.
I should note that back in the ’90s, my brother and I were enamored with a similar decadent burger from the late, lamented chain restaurant Bennigan’s, the “Wheelhouse burger,” topped with what was essentially a mozzarella cheese stick in patty form instead of stick form. And I have to give a shout-out to Orlando’s beloved Se7enbites, the Southern restaurant and bakery where Chef Trina Gregory-Propst created the Italian Stallion burger, topped with tomato jam, pesto aioli, and a mozzarella cheese plank. But I digress!

This is my wife’s favorite Signature side, the pretzel bites, which you have to pay a $1.50 upcharge for if you get them in a combo with a sandwich or a dinner. But again, like so many things at Culver’s, they are totally worth it. The outside crust is lightly crackly and crispy and buttery and salty, and the inside is pillowy soft. They come with a little dipping cup of Wisconsin cheddar cheese sauce for dipping, but they don’t need anything — and I say that as someone who always likes dipping things in other things.

In fact, I tried a few of the different dipping sauces with onion rings, as you can see. That’s the Wisconsin cheddar cheese sauce on the left in the unlabeled cup. The Boom Boom sauce is a little spicy and surprisingly thick and heavy, but the creamy, tangy Culver’s Signature sauce SLAPS. Those are both recent discoveries from my last trip, and I would definitely get that Signature sauce again.

George’s chili is considered a Signature side too, so you have to pay a $1.50 upcharge for it as well. I always love chili, and if it’s offered on a menu, I will always try it. The website boasts that this is “medium-spicy” chili con carne, but keep in mind this is a chain restaurant from Wisconsin, and I found it very mild. It is made by simmering ground beef (the same stuff the burgers are made of, naturally), diced tomatoes, dark red kidney beans, peppers, onion and celery, and a “secret blend of peppery spices.” With Culver’s always making a big deal about its Wisconsin roots and all its great cheese, I thought the chili could really use some shredded cheese or the cheddar cheese sauce on top to melt into it.

I appreciate fast food restaurants that don’t just offer burgers and chicken, but have all kinds of odd, offbeat options. You may have already noticed Culver’s is cool like that, but they even have a pot roast sandwich made with hand-shredded braised chuck roast. I have a deep, abiding love of slow-braised and stewed meats, cooked until they are moist and tender and falling apart. Too many people under-season their pot roast and dry it out, to the point that you can chew it forever and nothing happens, but not so with this sandwich. It was a tasty, savory alternative to the standard burgers and fried fish, and I would definitely get it again some time.

In addition to the ButterBurgers, the frozen custard is a big draw at Culver’s and a major part of its brand. It is my wife’s favorite part — even more than the fish. She usually opts for the chocolate custard with chunks of Butterfinger candy swirled in, but this time she got it with some chocolate syrup, pecans, and a cherry on top.

I’ve been sitting on this review for the better part of a year, waiting for the triumphant return of Culver’s lemon ice, a summer treat that sadly disappears for the rest of the year. Summer is my least-favorite season here in hot, humid, sticky, sweltering Florida, but I do love all the sweet, cold, refreshing drinks and treats that come out in the summer. My favorite is Culver’s lemon ice — in this case, a strawberry-mango lemon ice cooler, which is real slow-frozen lemonade swirled with real fruit. It is definitely a dessert, not as wholesome and nutritious as a smoothie (although smoothies are also high in calories and carbs), but I love ’em. Culver’s actually has lemon ice smoothies as well, where they mix the lemon ice and fruit with their vanilla custard, but I like them more tangy and acidic and less creamy. I drank a fair bit on the drive home before I could take this photo, but they really do fill the cup all the way up. I’m trying to avoid sweets and desserts and sugary sodas, but I can see enjoying a few more lemon ice coolers before the summer of 2023 ends.

The thing on the right is a chocolate custard with M&Ms mixed in — my wife’s choice, of course.

So that’s Culver’s. They take longer to prepare your meal than most other fast food establishments, and cost considerably more, but you pay for quality, including fresh food cooked to order every time. I must admit I always look askance at the receipt on every trip to Culver’s and think “REALLY?” But the two kinds of fish (the cod and limited-time walleye), the onion rings, the pretzel bites, and the lemon ices never disappoint, and my wife loves that chocolate custard too. Anyone who has ever read my food blog knows that I don’t consider myself too cool or too sophisticated to enjoy fast food. I am neither an elitist nor a health nut. Culver’s is definitely well above average for fast food, so give it a try if you haven’t already. And if you have, what are YOUR Culver’s favorites?

The Whiskey

Orlando’s “Restaurant Row” is a cluster of upscale restaurants — some chains and some locally owned and operated — along Sand Lake Road in the toney Dr. Phillips area, east of I-4 Exit 74, close to touristy International Drive and the Orange County Convention Center. I honestly try to avoid this side of town, but I end up out there from time to time, between catching up with visiting friends staying near the theme parks and my annual trips to nerd Mardi Gras, also known as MegaCon Orlando.

Years ago, I visited one of the more casual restaurants on Restaurant Row and thought it was just fine, but never reviewed it or returned… until recently. My oldest friend and I staggered out of the busiest day of MegaCon 2023, famished, exhausted, and feeling very middle-aged. He wanted to get a late lunch somewhere with table service, where we could sit down and be served and relax. He specifically requested comfort food and a refreshing cocktail, but I would have been content with free refills on soft drinks in air conditioning. That restaurant immediately came to mind as the perfect choice, and I was excited to give it another chance after all these years. So we went to The Whiskey (https://www.downatthewhiskey.com/), which specializes in gourmet burgers and cocktails and boasts one of the largest whiskey selections in Orlando.

We were hungry, so we started out with Whiskey chips ($11.50): house-made potato chips topped with chunky smoked blue cheese sauce, smoked blue cheese crumbles, bacon crumbles, balsamic glaze, diced tomatoes, and scallions. I think I must have tried this on my earlier visit years ago with my wife, because it seemed very familiar. It was awesome, though. Totally hit the spot. I always appreciate fresh potato chips, and I love balsamic glaze and good blue cheese.

All the burgers at The Whiskey are eight ounces, and they are a blend of chuck, brisket, and short rib. My friend and I were talking about how we each make tasty burgers at home, but we both use ground chuck, and that can’t compare to the blend of different cuts of beef that you get at steakhouses and upscale burger joints like this. Sometimes it seems like a cop-out to order a burger when there are all kinds of interesting dishes on a menu, but when you see that blend of chuck, brisket, and short rib, you know it’s going to be a next-level burger. And when you’re at a dedicated burger joint, you just can’t go wrong.

My friend ordered the black n’ bleu burger ($16), a house burger patty cooked to medium, seasoned in blackened seasoning, and topped with arugula, tomato, whiskey onions, smoked applewood bacon, and more of that great chunky smoked blue cheese sauce. He wolfed it down with gusto.The fries that are the default side that come with the burgers are awesome at The Whiskey. They are battered, so they have a lightly crispy outer coating, making them one of my favorite kinds of fries. The menu warns they are not gluten-free, for those who need to know such things.

I’m almost positive I ordered this same burger on my earlier visit years ago: the Southerner ($18.25), a house patty cooked to medium rare on a bed of whiskey onions and arugula, topped with bacon, pimento cheese, and two fried green tomato slices, and drizzled with balsamic glaze. It’s a perfect combination of things I love — creamy, melty, smoky, crunchy, tangy. I laid waste to it.

Did I mention how good the brioche-style buns are? They are lightly toasted on the grill, as all burger buns should be.

I upgraded my side from fries (even though the fries are really damn good) to Whiskey onion rings for $3.25, because I am The Saboscrivner, and I must try onion rings anywhere that serves them. I even have a recurring feature in these reviews called RING THE ALARM!, where I go into detail about the onion rings I encounter. I am pleased as punch to say that these are “the good kind” of onion rings — battered, not breaded — that I search for everywhere. Perfect thickness, consistency, crispness, color, and everything. When people ask me to recommend restaurants that have good onion rings, I will definitely add The Whiskey to the top of my list.

By the way, my friend loved his old fashioned ($12.50), Don Draper’s favorite cocktail. The Whiskey makes its version with Single Barrel Jack Daniels whiskey, orange bitters, rhubarb bitters, raw cane sugar, fresh orange, a Traverse City black cocktail cherry, and a rock candy stir stick. He is an aficionado, so I take his word for such things.

I am now convinced that I was in a bad mood on my first trip to The Whiskey, all those years ago with my wife. I don’t know what my problem was that day, but I spend too much time in a bad mood, and I deal with depression too, which doesn’t help. I don’t think I had started this blog yet, but I’m glad I didn’t write a half-hearted review way back then. Instead, I’m thrilled to write an extremely positive review now, and I really do recommend this place to all. Even vegetarians can get an Impossible burger here, and there are plenty of vegetarian-friendly apps, sides, and even a few salads.

Even though I try to avoid the International Drive and Dr. Phillips/Restaurant Row area, I would happily return to The Whiskey whenever I find myself down this way. As tempted as I would be to get that terrific Southerner burger again, I would try other options on the menu, including a smoked brisket grilled cheese sandwich that tempted me, and a camel burger made with actual ground camel meat. That is one animal I’ve never eaten, but I might have to make a special trip back for it on some future Wednesday.

Because Wednesday is “hump day,” and I would be eating camel.

And we all know that nothing makes a joke funnier than having to explain it, so I guess I’ll stop here.

Bad As’s Burgers

Bad As’s Burgers (https://badassburgersfl.com/) is the newest restaurant venture from John Collazo, the chef and owner of Orlando’s beloved Bad As’s Sandwich. I’ve been to Bad As’s Sandwich dozens of times and tried almost everything on the menu, to the point that my detailed review from 2019 barely scratches the surface. But never content to sit still or rest on his laurels, Chef John launched his new burger concept on Curry Ford Road in late 2022, and my wife and I recently tried it.

At Bad As’s Burgers, you pretty much know what you’re going to get: smash-style burgers made with high-quality Australian wagyu beef, with a variety of creative toppings on fresh-baked buns. Just a warning to vegetarians and vegans — there are no veggie burger options at Bad As’s Burgers, at least not yet.

Similar to the menu at Bad As’s Sandwich, there are plenty of chef-created combinations to choose from, or you can build your own burger. My wife is the opposite of me, in that she likes burgers and sandwiches very plain and free from extraneous toppings, condiments, and sauces. She ordered a plain burger with a side of fries, and she seemed to really like it. These fries look and taste a lot like McDonald’s fries from times past, and that is because they are fried in beef tallow, just like McDonald’s used to, at least through the 1980s.

When I placed our order at the register, she didn’t notice on the menu that you could get sautéed mushrooms as a topping, but she really likes mushrooms. (That makes one of us.) Luckily for her, you can also order a generous side order of the mushrooms:

I was having a hard time choosing from all of Chef John’s creations, but when I saw they had a daily special that wasn’t on the regular menu, it became an easy decision. This was the Drew, a burger topped with French stewed onions, crispy onions, Bleu cheese, and some kind of tangy aioli. I had actually been fantasizing about French onion soup that very day, so it was a perfect burger and a perfect decision.

Here’s an extreme close-up of the Drew:

Chef John is great at mixing up different aiolis, which I knew from Bad As’s Sandwich. But I just love ketchup on burgers, too. Sorry, not sorry!

I opted for sweet potato fries so we could try both kinds of fries, and they were spot-on, with nice, crispy exteriors and soft, yielding centers. In fact, we both agreed that we preferred them to the beef tallow fries, despite our shared ’80s McDonald’s nostalgia.

My wife couldn’t resist a chocolate shake, and she said it was great. I appreciated Bad As’s Burgers not following the milkshake trend of adding a lot of sticky, messy, drippy stuff to the outside of the cup, hoping to appeal to the Instagram crowd but creating sticky situations.

I think Bad As’s Burgers will continue to survive and even thrive in a market full of fast-casual burger joints because of Chef John Collazo’s creativity and insistence on the highest quality product. This doesn’t feel like a corporate chain “gourmet burger” place because it isn’t. It has that uniqueness and love that you find in the best locally owned and operated restaurants. Is it the cheapest around? Absolutely not, but you pay for quality. As much as I love the cheap, tasty sliders at White Castle and Krystal, if you go to Bad As’s Burgers, you can expect top-quality beef, toppings, fries, and even fresh-baked buns. You taste every bit of effort, care, and attention to detail with every bite, just like at Bad As’s Sandwich. And even if you consider it a splurge, sometimes you just have to treat yo’self.

El Rey De Las Fritas (Miami)

El Rey De Las Fritas (https://elreydelasfritas.com/) is one of Miami’s most famous and iconic casual restaurants, a Cuban diner that was founded by Victoriano “Benito” Gonzalez and his wife, Angelina “Gallega” Gonzalez, the current owner. Over the decades, they expanded their restaurant to four locations, three in Miami proper and one in Hialeah.

My BFF (best food friend) and I ate lunch at the original El Rey De Las Fritas on my trip to Miami back in July, before picking up takeout from the nearby Sanguich De Miami to eat later. The restaurants are located a relatively short walk from each other along Miami’s historic Calle Ocho (SW 8th Street), the legendary stretch of Little Havana that is the colorful and vibrant center of Miami’s Cuban community. This was my first-ever visit to El Rey De Las Fritas, and I think we did it right.

Sitting at stools along the long counter for a classic diner experience, we started out by ordering four croquetas de jamon to share ($1.50 each). My friend occasionally reviews the best croquetas in and around Miami in a recurring feature called “The Croqueta Diaries” on his own food and culture blog, so I was with a real connoisseur. These were pretty classic, standard croquetas with the typical creamy filling of diced ham mixed with bechamel sauce, fried to golden perfection with cracker crumb coating.

I was surprised by how large the menu was, with so many Cuban dishes to choose from beyond the iconic fritas. Because I didn’t study it enough in advance, I panicked and ordered a batido de guayaba (guava milkshake; $5). It was really thick and didn’t have a strong guava flavor, and wasn’t even super-refreshing for this hot July day. I might have been better off with some limonada or jugo de maracuya (passion fruit juice), or even a cafe con leche, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

But anyway, the whole point of going to El Rey De Las Fritas was to order the classic Cuban frita, a specially seasoned burger patty on a Cuban roll topped with diced onions and a mountain of crispy, freshly fried shoestring potatoes (papitas julianas). It also comes with a tangy red sauce that looks like ketchup and smells like ketchup, but brother, it ain’t ketchup! I opted for the frita especial con queso, a cheeseburger frita ($4.95, just a 20-cent upcharge for cheese). It was even better than it looks, and you can see how good it looks. Our fritas were definitely better than the ones we tried at Polo Norte in Miami, back in March 2020, and even those weren’t bad by any means.

I even brought a frita original ($4.75) to bring back to my wife in Orlando, since she likes her burgers sin queso (without cheese). But she didn’t want it, so I brought it to work to eat at my desk, the same sad way I always eat my lunches. But this day I had an unexpected leftover frita burger, so it was a lot less sad than usual.

I got a little obsessed with fritas during the work-from-home period of the pandemic in 2020, so I experimented a lot with different recipes for the meat and the sauce, although I always used those crunchy fried potato sticks that come in a can. Still, after finally trying the real deal at Miami’s most legendary frita joint, it’s hard to beat the professionals. The iconic institution El Rey truly was the king of fritas.

Arbetter’s Hot Dogs (Miami)

Of all the restaurants I’ve written reviews for, I’ve been going to Arbetter’s Hot Dogs (https://www.arbetterhotdogs.com/index.html) the longest, ever since I was a little kid in the ’80s. It’s an institution in Miami’s Westchester neighborhood, not far from where I grew up in Kendall, where my parents and brother still live. The bright yellow building on Bird Road (SW 40th Street), just west of Galloway Road (SW 87th Avenue), has been serving up Miami’s most iconic hot dogs since 1972, after first opening in 1960 in a different location. It has survived everything, from recessions to fickle foodie trends, keeping its prices low and its aesthetics simple and old-school. It reminds me of Orlando’s beloved Beefy King that way, another culinary time capsule from a bygone era that continues to survive and thrive because it never changed what people love about it.

Even though my dad wouldn’t ever consider himself a foodie, he introduced me to all of his favorite Chinese restaurants and Jewish delis in Miami in the ’80s and ’90s, starting me on my lifelong quest to discover all the best food and tell people about it, whether they asked or not. He would also take me to Arbetter’s, usually after trips to A&M Comics and Books, another Bird Road landmark that still survives today, the second-oldest comic book store in the country. These jaunts fueled my lifelong loves of comic books and reading in general (and also hot dogs).

It had been far too long since I returned to this legendary hot dog spot for a taste of my youth, so it was fitting I made it back to finally write a review in 2022, its 50th anniversary in the Bird Road location. That’s an incredible feat for any restaurant, especially in expensive, clout-chasing Miami.

Prices have gone up since the mid-’90s, the last time I was a permanent resident of Miami, but not as much as you would think:

I ordered two hot dogs, even though I could have easily eaten several more. As Lake Street Dive sang (but surely not referring to hot dogs), they go down smooth. On the left, behold Arbetter’s West Virginia dog ($3.99, a bargain at twice the price), topped with yellow mustard, onions, creamy cole slaw, and their delicious house-made chili (with no beans ever). What a combination, between the crunch of the cabbage and onions versus the softness of the dog and the bun, the acidity of the chili and the pungence of the mustard versus the creamy coolness of the slaw. On the right you see a traditional dog with mustard and sauerkraut ($2.99), the “control” in this little experiment. The dogs are simple, and so are the plain buns.
Since my last visit, back in 2015, Arbetter’s started selling grilled, all-beef, natural casing Sabrett hot dogs for slightly more money, which are high-quality dogs that I love and recommend. But visiting the place I grew up and this particularly nostalgic restaurant, I had to go with the old-school boiled dogs, which are softer and smokier than the Sabretts, but not as salty or garlicky. They tasted just as good as I remembered, and they went down soooo smooth.

Arbetter’s has always had awesome fries (currently $3.69), made even better by getting them topped with chili and molten melted cheese ($4.99). Instead of getting fries on my July 2022 visit, I opted for the onion rings instead ($3.69), because as my constant readers know, I will ALWAYS opt for onion rings and review them on this blog in a little feature I like to call RING THE ALARM! These were great onion rings — breaded rather than battered, not too thick or too thin, not too greasy, not ripping out of the breading. I definitely rank them as “the good kind” of onion rings. I dipped them in a ridiculous mound of ketchup, but in retrospect, I failed my readers and also myself by not getting them topped with chili and cheese (which would have also been $4.99, just like the fries).

Finally writing this review a few months after my meal at Arbetter’s, I’m feeling that nostalgia again and wishing I could get some right now. I’ll almost certainly pick up a pack of hot dogs when I finally leave the house today, and I already have buns, a jar of Silver Floss kraut, and a multifarious multitude of mustards, plus some ground chuck defrosting in the fridge and a block of habanero cheddar begging to be shredded — everything I need for some chili cheese dogs and classic hot dogs of my own. But it won’t be the same, not without that old yellow building with the same old faded posters and signs, the sense of community, and the memories of my youth.

I always felt like a stranger at home, growing up in Miami. I have a good family and wonderful friends I’m still in touch with, but now I enjoy my rare visits to the city a lot more than I ever liked living there. The food is a major aspect of why I appreciate Miami so much more now, and why I feel pride for my hometown that I never felt back in the day. Even though Arbetter’s Hot Dogs isn’t fancy or glamorous, it’s an icon, an institution, and a survivor. It still brings people together, over 50 years later, and makes them feel good, feel special, feel home. And if that isn’t a microcosm for Miami, I don’t know what is.

CLOSED: Chicago Dog & Co

EDITOR’S NOTE: Chicago Dog & Co. permanently closed on October 8, 2023.

***

As much as I love food and restaurants and cooking, I’ve never worked a day in the food service or hospitality industries. For me, eating, cooking, and even grocery shopping are necessities I’ve turned into hobbies. We have to eat to survive, so I do what I can to make the experiences enjoyable, but I’ve never had to work at it. As a result, I have nothing but admiration and awe for everyone who works in restaurants. It’s a hard, hot, and dangerous job, and too many people take it for granted when we get delicious food we didn’t have to make ourselves. Even I have been guilty of this in the past, but I have so much appreciation, and I always try to show it, including by writing this food blog. I hope it comes across in my words, as I try to boost the signal for local restaurants here.

This past week my wife and I binge-watched a new show called The Bear, which consists of eight half-hour episodes streaming on Hulu. The Bear is about Carmy, a world-renowned chef who returns to his family’s divey restaurant in Chicago after his brother commits suicide and leaves Carmy the restaurant in his will. Most of the show takes place inside the restaurant’s cramped, chaotic kitchen, and the writing, acting, directing, and editing work in perfect tandem to create a feeling of unhinged uneasiness — a “sense of urgency,” as Carmy calls it. All the restaurant people I know who have been watching it say they get the details almost too perfect, to the point where it is too real, too uncomfortable to enjoy. But it’s really good, so you should watch it if you’re looking for a new show you can knock out in a weekend.

Anyway, the main specialty of Carmy’s family restaurant is a real Chicago classic: Italian beef sandwiches. We watch them preparing hundreds of “beefs,” and before the end of the intense first episode, I was craving one here in Orlando. The Chicago/Italian beef isn’t as ubiquitous a sandwich as the Philly cheesesteak, but there are a few places around town to find them. My favorite local food writer, a woman who serves as a constant inspiration to me, who I am honored to think of as a friend (albeit one I have yet to meet in real life), Amy Drew Thompson of the Orlando Sentinel, wrote a guide to Italian beef sandwiches in Orlando earlier this year, which pointed me to the subject of my latest restaurant review.

Chicago Dog & Co (https://www.chicagodogandco.com/) is located in Altamonte Springs, Florida, west of I-4, close to where Altamonte starts blending into Apopka. Sandra (a practicing attorney!) and Monica, two Chicago-born sisters raised in Central Florida, opened the restaurant just over a year ago, in April 2021, and they have been going strong ever since. Open every day except Monday, Chicago Dog & Co has covered outdoor seating, but no indoor seating. You walk up to order at a window, and they call your name when your order is ready. They specialize in Vienna Beef hot dogs on steamed poppy seed buns, and you can get them with a number of toppings, including the Chicago way, “dragging it through the garden,” with yellow mustard, diced onion, sliced tomato, neon green relish, a pickle spear, “sport” peppers, and celery salt.

But as much as I enjoy a good hot dog, I’m more of a devotee of a garlicky New York-style dog, as typified by Sabrett, Nathan’s, and Boar’s Head, topped with spicy mustard and sauerkraut. I have no doubt the Vienna Beef hot dogs are bringing back happy Chicago memories for thousands of Central Floridians, but I went there for a different reason: to get my post-Bear Italian beef fix. And did I ever!

This was the Italian beef ($8) I brought home for myself, the tender sliced beef topped with sweet peppers and spicy giardiniera vegetables, a blend of carrots, onions, and green peppers. (The more traditional Chicago version has carrots, celery, and cauliflower!) It is served on a soft Gonnella roll, either dry (no au jus, or au jus served on the side), wet (au jus poured over the sandwich), or dipped (the entire sandwich, roll and all, dipped in au jus to create a real fork-and-knife experience). Since I was bringing it home, I opened for au jus on the side. I thought it was really good, and better once I poured the jus over the meat and bread. The actual beef in an Italian beef isn’t super-moist or fatty, so the jus helps lubricate the sandwich, in the best possible way. It was definitely a WAS (wet-ass sandwich) by the time I was through, and it definitely fulfilled my Italian beef craving.

Knowing my wife the way I do, she isn’t into toppings, condiments, sauces, or even sandwiches all that much, so I ordered her a plain beef ($8) with jus on the side, and also giardiniera on the side (since I knew I would get to eat hers). Here’s the unadorned, unadulterated beef:

Since they serve chili dogs and I love chili, I asked if I could try a little side order of chili, and they were kind enough to fill a small cup for me. Here it is with the side of spicy giardiniera.

In addition to the dogs and beefs, Chicago Dog & Co also serves burgers. I haven’t had a tasty burger in quite a while, so I couldn’t resist this double smash ($6) — a very reasonable price for two beef patties smashed thin with sautéed onions and melty American cheese on a soft bun. The bun got steamed in the aluminum foil wrap on my 20-minute drive home, but I imagine it would be a lot less wrinkly if you enjoy yours at the restaurant.The burger had a great “fresh off the grill” taste, and I’m a sucker for American cheese and sautéed or grilled onions on my burger. I added a bit of the chili once I ate about half of it at home, but it didn’t need any other adornments to improve it.

Finally, I brought home an Iltaco Pizza Puff ($4) for my wife to try. These things are awesome — another Chicago snack that is like the best Hot Pocket you’ve ever had, or more like a small, flat, pizza-filled chimichanga or empanada.

The crispy, bubbly, fried shell is like a flour tortilla — hence the chimichanga comparison — and it is stuffed with tomato sauce, melty mozzarella cheese, and sausage or pepperoni. I love these things. My wife wasn’t interested in trying it, so I ate both halves myself.

So if you also watched The Bear and have been asking “Where’s the beef?” ever since, Chicago Dog & Co is the place for you. Since I started this blog in 2018, I’ve tried (and reviewed) two other Italian beef sandwiches in and around Orlando: Rosati’s Pizza (a Chicago chain) in Winter Park, and Christo’s, the diner in Sanford. There are one or two other options I’m aware of, thanks in part to Amy Drew Thompson and the good people of The Orlando Foodie Forum presented by Tasty Chomps!, but as you might have realized by now, they aren’t nearly as easy to find around here as other sandwiches. I’m happy I had time on a lazy Sunday to finally check out a new(ish) local restaurant owned by two women who deserve our community’s support. Hopefully their kitchen is a lot more copacetic than the one in the show! But if you go for a beef or even a Chicago hot dog, don’t forget that Pizza Puff too — trust me on that. That thing is magical.

St. Johns River Steak & Seafood

A while back, we met one of my wife’s best friends for lunch at St. Johns River Steak & Seafood (https://stjrss.com/), a lovely restaurant near where she lives in Sanford. My wife and I had never been there before, but the biggest draw was being able to sit outdoors on the huge covered patio overlooking picturesque Lake Monroe on a glorious spring day.

My wife and I shared a bowl of gumbo ($9), which looks very small due to the large bowl they served it in, with just a small space in the middle. The rich, thick, spicy, tomatoey stew contained chicken, shrimp, crawfish, and andouille sausage, and I think I liked it a lot more than my wife did.

I also ordered gator bites ($15) for the three of us to share. Gator is almost a novelty food. I don’t know anyone who loves it, but when people see it on menus, especially in casual seafood restaurants in places like Louisiana and Florida, we feel obligated to order it, I gar-ron-tee. Maybe it’s an “eat them before they eat you” defense mechanism, or a way to prove our local “Florida Man” bona fides. Anyway, these were chewy and chickeny, as gator bites usually are. I think we got them grilled, but you can also get them fried or blackened.

All three of us were in the mood for grouper, which is one of the finest fish you can eat. A surprising amount of local seafood restaurants don’t offer grouper on their menus, and some others sneakily serve other, lesser fish, even when they advertise grouper. We figured we were coming to a place that would treat us grouper groupies right.

Our friend ordered a Caesar salad ($9) with grouper added on (I can’t find my receipt, but some of the other protein add-ons were $9, or it might have been whatever “market price” was that day).

My wife ordered the fried grouper sandwich ($18.50) and upgraded to a side of Sidewinder fries (an extra $2). The regular sides that come with sandwiches are house-made chips or cole slaw, but we both love Sidewinder fries. They might be some of my favorite fries ever. It came with lettuce, tomatoes, and red onions on a lightly grilled brioche bun, but since I love sandwiches and my wife doesn’t, I took her bun and vegetables to turn my own grouper (see below) into a sandwich.

And I got a blackened grouper entree ($27) with two sides: rich and creamy macaroni (really penne pasta) and cheese, and terrific onion rings. RING THE ALARM!

Sadly, all three of us thought our grouper was a little dry. Mine reminded me more of a denser fish like mahi, and was less flaky and buttery than grouper I’ve had elsewhere. But the two sides were top-notch, and I really enjoyed them.

Sanford’s food scene is really blowing up with wonderful restaurants and hip bars and breweries in the quaint downtown area. There are so many choices, it can be hard to choose. We used to always end up at Hollerbach’s Willow Tree Cafe, and last summer I discovered Christo’s wonderful diner and their legendary Greek nachos. But it is nice to know about a seafood option too, moments away from that main drag on First Street, and with that gorgeous patio and lake view. I can’t decide if I would give the grouper another try when I inevitably return to St. Johns River Steak & Seafood or branch out to another favorite like soft shell crab or even jambalaya. However, I would definitely get the onion rings, mac and cheese, and Sidewinder fries again… and probably leave the gator to first-timers.